JAIL BIRDS
Christian's beloved Satine fell into his arms; coughing all over him, and then she tragically died. Christian's eyes began to gather tears. He struggled to stifle his cry, but he couldn't hold it in any longer.
He began to . . . make some rather strange noises.
Everyone stood silent, unsure of what was going on. Zidler leaned over and whispered to Nini.
Zidler: "What the hell is he doing? I can't tell if the boy's crying or laughing or speaking another language . . . ."
Nini: "Maybe he's drunk."
Just then, the back door was flung open. It was the police, led by a very angry looking Duke. The Duke turned to the Sergeant Fajita, a very portly, sweaty man holding a revolver.
Duke: "There's the boy that stole my girlfriend. Arrest him!"
Christian's angst had instantly vanished. He dropped Satine on the floor with a sickening thud.
Christian: "I've never seen her before in my life."
Then, everyone gasped as a supposed to be dead Satine sat up and glared angrily at Christian.
Satine: "What did you say Christian?!"
Christian knew he was in deep shit now.
Christian: "Satine, my love, you're alive! I thought . . . "
Satine: "No, Christian, I wasn't dead . . . I was merely testing your love for me. Now I know how you really feel!"
Christian: "No, Satine! I - "
Duke: "Sgt. Fajita, you see what has happened here? The boy stole my whore!"
Sgt. Fajita: "Wait a minute, wait a minute! You say this girl is a whore?"
Satine: "COURTESAN!"
Duke: "Yes! I paid for her in full. I came here looking for a good time. That man (pointing to Zidler) promised I would have her and the whole time she was fooling around with the boy!"
Sgt. Fajita: (to Zidler) "And you own this place?"
Zidler: "Uh . . . "
Duke: "He most certainly does! I have a good mind to report your little underworld whore house to the Better Business Bureau!"
Sgt. Fajita: "Alright, calm down! I have the situation under control. Everyone - you are ALL under arrest for either prostitution, paying for the services of a prostitute, pimping, not having a dwarf license, or (looking at the Argentinean) being an illegal alien."
Argentinean: "OH SHIT! Ruuuun!"
Zidler grabbed Satine and they escaped out the back door. The Duke slipped Sgt. Fajita a few thousand francs and inched away behind a curtain. Everyone else was squeezing to fit through the back door. Some ran around to find other ways out, creating chaos and confusion. After everyone had cleared, Christian was the last one left on the stage. He giggled nervously and batted his eyelashes at Sgt. Fajita.
Sgt. Fajita: (disgusted) "Buddy, I'm taking you down to the station."
Christian: "The station? Oh for the love of God! What will Father say? Holy mother f***ing . . . "
Sgt. Fajita began to cuff him.
Christian: "Officer, is this really necessary?"
Sgt. Fajita: "Shut up! You make me sick; you're a menace to society. I'm personally making sure you are locked away."
Once in the interrogation room, Christian had an emotional meltdown.
Christian: (crying hysterically) "Oh, holy shit! I'm going to jail! Oh, what am I gonna do? My reputation will be scarred forever. No one will buy my books, no one will listen to my songs . . . "
Sgt. Fajita: (under his breath) "No one would do that anyway."
Christian: "And you know what? My father is going to hear about this and you know what he's gonna say? You know what he'll say?"
Sgt. Fajita: "I . . . don't . . . CARE!"
Christian: "He's going to say, 'Christian, my boy, you are a failure. I knew you would never amount to anything, but I never expected you to end up in prison.' THAT'S WHAT HE'LL SAY! WAAAAAAA!!!"
Sgt. Fajita: "For the love of God, will you shut up! I can't stand another minute of your annoying, whiney voice!"
Christian bit his lip, trying his best to control his sobs.
Sgt. Fajita: "Now, let's get this over with. Do you admit to paying for Ms. Satine's sexual services?"
Christian: "NO! Never, we are in love!"
Sgt. Fajita: (pulling a plastic evidence bag out of a box) "Did you or did you not throw this money at Ms. Satine and say, 'I've paid my whore?'"
Christian: "Well . . . I did do that."
Sgt. Fajita: "That doesn't sound like love to me!"
Christian gulped, realizing he was caught in a legal loophole he wouldn't be able to bullshit his way out of.
Sgt. Fajita: "Boys?"
Two police officers grabbed Christian's arms and started dragging him away. He wailed and started kicking and screaming.
Christian: "NOOO!! Please, I'll do anything!"
Sgt. Fajita: "Take this sick bastard away."
Christian: "Where are you taking me?"
Sgt. Fajita: "Where they take care of people like you. A little place called . . . Alcatraz Penitentiary!"
FROM BEETLE: Yes, I know . . . a little crazy. Oh well, we'll soon discover what's in store for Christian at Alcatraz! Oh yeah, review this for me please. Please add a comment/suggestion/whatever you want. :o)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Moulin Rouge or any of it's characters. I don't have any connection with the BBB, if that matters. Um, I don't know what they're doing with Alcatraz nowadays, but it's a real place.
Christian's beloved Satine fell into his arms; coughing all over him, and then she tragically died. Christian's eyes began to gather tears. He struggled to stifle his cry, but he couldn't hold it in any longer.
He began to . . . make some rather strange noises.
Everyone stood silent, unsure of what was going on. Zidler leaned over and whispered to Nini.
Zidler: "What the hell is he doing? I can't tell if the boy's crying or laughing or speaking another language . . . ."
Nini: "Maybe he's drunk."
Just then, the back door was flung open. It was the police, led by a very angry looking Duke. The Duke turned to the Sergeant Fajita, a very portly, sweaty man holding a revolver.
Duke: "There's the boy that stole my girlfriend. Arrest him!"
Christian's angst had instantly vanished. He dropped Satine on the floor with a sickening thud.
Christian: "I've never seen her before in my life."
Then, everyone gasped as a supposed to be dead Satine sat up and glared angrily at Christian.
Satine: "What did you say Christian?!"
Christian knew he was in deep shit now.
Christian: "Satine, my love, you're alive! I thought . . . "
Satine: "No, Christian, I wasn't dead . . . I was merely testing your love for me. Now I know how you really feel!"
Christian: "No, Satine! I - "
Duke: "Sgt. Fajita, you see what has happened here? The boy stole my whore!"
Sgt. Fajita: "Wait a minute, wait a minute! You say this girl is a whore?"
Satine: "COURTESAN!"
Duke: "Yes! I paid for her in full. I came here looking for a good time. That man (pointing to Zidler) promised I would have her and the whole time she was fooling around with the boy!"
Sgt. Fajita: (to Zidler) "And you own this place?"
Zidler: "Uh . . . "
Duke: "He most certainly does! I have a good mind to report your little underworld whore house to the Better Business Bureau!"
Sgt. Fajita: "Alright, calm down! I have the situation under control. Everyone - you are ALL under arrest for either prostitution, paying for the services of a prostitute, pimping, not having a dwarf license, or (looking at the Argentinean) being an illegal alien."
Argentinean: "OH SHIT! Ruuuun!"
Zidler grabbed Satine and they escaped out the back door. The Duke slipped Sgt. Fajita a few thousand francs and inched away behind a curtain. Everyone else was squeezing to fit through the back door. Some ran around to find other ways out, creating chaos and confusion. After everyone had cleared, Christian was the last one left on the stage. He giggled nervously and batted his eyelashes at Sgt. Fajita.
Sgt. Fajita: (disgusted) "Buddy, I'm taking you down to the station."
Christian: "The station? Oh for the love of God! What will Father say? Holy mother f***ing . . . "
Sgt. Fajita began to cuff him.
Christian: "Officer, is this really necessary?"
Sgt. Fajita: "Shut up! You make me sick; you're a menace to society. I'm personally making sure you are locked away."
Once in the interrogation room, Christian had an emotional meltdown.
Christian: (crying hysterically) "Oh, holy shit! I'm going to jail! Oh, what am I gonna do? My reputation will be scarred forever. No one will buy my books, no one will listen to my songs . . . "
Sgt. Fajita: (under his breath) "No one would do that anyway."
Christian: "And you know what? My father is going to hear about this and you know what he's gonna say? You know what he'll say?"
Sgt. Fajita: "I . . . don't . . . CARE!"
Christian: "He's going to say, 'Christian, my boy, you are a failure. I knew you would never amount to anything, but I never expected you to end up in prison.' THAT'S WHAT HE'LL SAY! WAAAAAAA!!!"
Sgt. Fajita: "For the love of God, will you shut up! I can't stand another minute of your annoying, whiney voice!"
Christian bit his lip, trying his best to control his sobs.
Sgt. Fajita: "Now, let's get this over with. Do you admit to paying for Ms. Satine's sexual services?"
Christian: "NO! Never, we are in love!"
Sgt. Fajita: (pulling a plastic evidence bag out of a box) "Did you or did you not throw this money at Ms. Satine and say, 'I've paid my whore?'"
Christian: "Well . . . I did do that."
Sgt. Fajita: "That doesn't sound like love to me!"
Christian gulped, realizing he was caught in a legal loophole he wouldn't be able to bullshit his way out of.
Sgt. Fajita: "Boys?"
Two police officers grabbed Christian's arms and started dragging him away. He wailed and started kicking and screaming.
Christian: "NOOO!! Please, I'll do anything!"
Sgt. Fajita: "Take this sick bastard away."
Christian: "Where are you taking me?"
Sgt. Fajita: "Where they take care of people like you. A little place called . . . Alcatraz Penitentiary!"
FROM BEETLE: Yes, I know . . . a little crazy. Oh well, we'll soon discover what's in store for Christian at Alcatraz! Oh yeah, review this for me please. Please add a comment/suggestion/whatever you want. :o)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Moulin Rouge or any of it's characters. I don't have any connection with the BBB, if that matters. Um, I don't know what they're doing with Alcatraz nowadays, but it's a real place.