Mikau: Hey there, guys! Really long time no see, but I've got this nice long chapter for you today, so I hope that makes up for it. I also got challenged to do that Beikan Bacon thing by Miss Emotion, so I hope to finish that up today and have it edited and posted tomorrow/Monday, and that one's pretty long too. Anyway, I believe this will be the last chapter of Caught Up in You. It takes place directly after the first four chapters right after the New Year's party where Kaito and Shinichi meet. Before I forget, Happy Birthday Bunnyz-chan! Hope it's fabulous. Eat some cake for me. And thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed! Fifty reviews. I'm so touched! Thank you for all the support, guys. Thanks in particular to everyone who reviewed last chapter: MeridianGrimm, MeitanteiRose, Bunnyz-chan, GeekyGenius, Kimmiko T, Miss Emotion, NateRiver1412, and Assasin8!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, we all know I'd do an episode with a Kid heist at a fancy banquet/ball because I love putting Kaito in a gown. A slutty, slutty gown. Because we all know he'd look amazing. Ahem. Moving on. Also, the elephant plushie Sir Stinky belongs to Icka M. Chif. Used without permission because I'm too in awe of her to bother her with asking. I started reading her when I was like fifteen. That's, like, almost a decade of admiration right there. Again, moving on.

…

Omake Four: Surface Tension

New Year's break came to a rather anticlimactic conclusion, considering the excitement that the year had opened up with. The new term of school had started up, and with the new semester came new students to Beika U, such as Kudo Shinichi. There were many activities and events to welcome the new students and get everyone into the school spirit, and Kaito had been playing the part of Shinichi's personal guide, but something just felt off to the detective. And he kind of had a feeling that it had something to do with Hakuba Saguru.

Not that Hakuba had been mean or rude or even inhospitable—far from that. The blonde was going out of his way to spend time with Shinichi, show him around campus, and help him settle back into life in the halls of higher learning. It was just...Shinichi got the impression that Hakuba wasn't really being friendly of his own accord. There were ulterior motives there, and just underneath the pleasant smile that the blonde kept pasted on, Hakuba Saguru was coiled like a venomous snake, ready to strike Shinichi down at the first misstep.

Shinichi had gotten good at reading auras during his stint in elementary school. It'd become a necessity while working on the Black Organization case, so Shinichi could see the danger looming just below the surface like a restraint band ready to snap under the weight of one too many steel pipes.

Shinichi knew what this was about too. It had been clear from the very beginning. This hidden animosity that Hakuba was harboring towards Shinichi had everything to do with Kuroba Kaito.

It had all started the second week back to school. Shinichi had been sitting in the café on the main floor of the library, sipping a cup of heavenly java the consistency and exact shade of tar when Hakuba walked up to his table and gestured to the empty seat across from Shinichi.

"Is this seat occupied? Or would you rather peruse your encyclopedia of known toxins undisturbed? I promise I won't be insulted if you turn me away. I come here often myself to relax and study away from my obnoxious roommate's hijinks and ruckus." Saguru had smiled amicably, but Shinichi could tell that it wasn't entirely authentic.

Regardless, Shinichi returned the fake smile with a genuine one and motioned for his fellow detective to sit down. "What brings you to the library today, Hakuba-kun?"

Saguru shrugged, glancing down at Shinichi's open notebook on the table in front of them and taking note of the interesting batches of scribbles in the margins. "Actually, I think we're both here for the same purpose."

Shinichi blinked. That couldn't be right. He was meeting Kaito, and then they were having a lunch not-date. "I'm waiting for Kaito's set designing class to let out, and then we're going to lunch together."

"As am I." Saguru smiled, but it came out smug. "It seems that Kaito has double booked."

All of the sudden Shinichi felt slightly irritated. "Don't you usually call him 'Kuroba'?"

Hakuba shrugged. "Mostly just to his face. It annoys him that I won't call him by his given name, and it annoys me that he calls me 'Haku-chan', so we're even. We're only 'Saguru' and 'Kaito' in each other's presence when something truly dire is going on...however, he's been 'Kaito' to me in private for a long time now."

And now Shinichi was extremely irritated. Just who did this Hakuba guy think he was? Just because Kaito and Hakuba had been friends for a lot longer than Shinichi had even known Kaito didn't mean the jerk got to be so smug about everything. So what if they were close? Shinichi and Kaito were...were...well, they were going to be going out eventually, so...so there!

"I do believe Kaito is planning on forcing an acquaintance between us," Saguru informed with a shrug, indicating that he didn't care either way. "It's very important to him that we get along, so I, for one, plan on doing my part. Like I told you on New Year's, I believe we could come to be friends, so please excuse my intrusion on what you must have thought to be a date."

Shinichi blushed and squirmed at the accusation of sorts. He felt compelled to clarify: "Kaito and I aren't dating yet. We're just friends for now."

"Oh?" Saguru slowly tilted his head to the side. "I'm sorry. It's just...from what Kaito told me, it sounded like you two were already at the dating stage. Though, I do suppose that two friends really could cuddle on the couch while watching movies and share lunch and feed each other. Kaito and I certainly do those kinds of things, but...I'm sorry, Kudo-kun. My mistake. You two were waiting to date until you had gotten over Ran-san, weren't you, so that you didn't end up just using Kaito as a rebound? Again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you were just taking advantage of Kaito."

"Don't worry about it." Shinichi pasted on his own fake smile and waved it away, but he had heard what Hakuba had really said: "You are a shameless cad who is taking advantage of someone I love, and I know it, even if Kaito is too taken with you to notice. Don't think for a minute that I'll let you use him like that. I've got my eye on you, Kudo, and if you hurt him, I'll make sure that you regret it immensely in a very immediate and painful manner and in such a way as you will be unable to have children."

While Shinichi was vexed and insulted by Saguru's threats and accusations, at the same time, something was bothering him more. After all, Hakuba was just being a good friend, even though the danger was only imagined, and Shinichi was really glad that Kaito had such a fiercely loyal ally. No. What really infuriated Shinichi was what Hakuba had said about Hakuba and Kaito cuddling and sharing food and feeding each other. What the HELL did that blonde bastard mean that Hakuba and Kaito did all of that stuff too?!

Before any further animosity could grow between the two, however, Kaito walked into the café and bounced right on up to their table. "Haku-chan! Shin-chan!" he greeted, tackling each of them in turn and giving them a good nuzzle.

Kaito tackle-nuzzle-hugged Saguru first, allowing several things to happen. First, Shinichi became wildly jealous looking at the man he loved getting all lovey-dovey with another man. Second, Shinichi became even more annoyed at Hakuba because, dammit all, Hakuba and Kaito really did do intimate things like a couple, just like Hakuba had said.

The third thing that happened was the worst. Looking at Hakuba and Kaito together was making Shinichi extremely nervous. Those two looked really good together...natural. And now Shinichi was very concerned that there might really be something going on between the two after all. I mean, Hakuba was obviously super protective of Kaito, and he'd acted...more like a rival in love than just a concerned friend. Could it be that Hakuba wanted to keep Kaito all to himself?

Luckily, at this point, Kaito had finished manhandling a protesting Saguru and had moved on to molesting Shinichi, so the great detective no longer had the opportunity to let destructive thoughts spiral out of control.

They had lunch at a quaint little café called Nancy's that Kaito and Hakuba frequented. They had their usual booth and their usual orders and even their usual waiter. It was kind of disturbing for Shinichi to see proof that the two were so close like that. Did they have their usual restaurant when they dined out? How about their usual seats in their usual movie theatre? Their usual bench in a park where they fed birds together and where Kaito did magic for passersby afterwards? Their usual place where they went dancing? Did Hakuba and Kaito have a song?

Thoughts like these kept popping up throughout lunch as they laughed and talked and Hakuba and Kaito kept smiling and winking at each other. Shinichi tried to tell himself that most of this had to be imagined and that Kaito wouldn't flirt with another guy like that right in front of him. Still...it was really difficult for Shinichi to keep from snarling at Hakuba whenever the blonde fed Kaito a French fry or wiped whipped cream off of Kaito's nose.

And yet he was supposed to play nice with the bratty Brit for Kaito's sake. But how was he supposed to be friends with a guy who was trying to steal his future boyfriend?

The three hung out a few more times over the next two weeks, doing various things like bowling and arcade games, spending time at bookstores and the mall, and doing karaoke and going to the movies. During that time, Shinichi was only able to build a better case against Saguru in regards to the blonde being a home-wrecking devil. At the same time, though, Saguru was beginning to truly believe that Shinichi's feelings were genuine and that the other detective was actually good for Kaito.

Saguru had been intently studying Shinichi when the three spent time together, and Saguru liked the look in Shinichi's eyes whenever he looked at Kaito. Shinichi's eyes spoke Shakespearian-style sonnets composed in Kaito's honor. They shouted Kaito's virtues from the rooftops, and they screamed vows of love and commitment.

Saguru could tell that Kudo Shinichi had it bad for Kaito, and Saguru wholeheartedly approved. He'd always wanted someone to love his brother of sorts with the kind of slavish devotion that Shinichi was displaying. Hakuba found it adorable the way that Shinichi perked up when Kaito was around. The detective's sharp, hyper-vigilant eyes softened around Kaito. Shinichi melted for Kaito. The normally composed sleuth tripped over himself over Kaito. This was exactly what Saguru had been hoping for the night Saguru had first learned of Kaito's mystery crush, so he couldn't be happier for the two, even though he really would prefer to have some alone time with his best friend to tagging along on Kaito and Shinichi's not-dates.

Saguru was pleased with the results of his investigation of Shinichi, so when Kaito had asked him to spend some time with Shinichi, just the two detectives, Saguru hadn't been opposed. He was actually looking forward to the chance to finally converse with his peer without the Kuroba distraction present. He really did believe that the two of them would be good friends given time.

Shinichi, on the other hand, was not on the same page as the other two.

…

Shinichi raised an eyebrow as Hakuba approached his table in the corner of the school cafeteria. "Is Kaito doing that 'Surprise! I made plans with you, but we're actually all three hanging out together! Isn't that awesome?!' thing again?" Shinichi looked bored and unimpressed. "I'm going to have to tell him that that's getting old and to just schedule with the both of us included in the first place."

Saguru smiled sheepishly, taking the seat across from Shinichi. He scratched his cheek nervously, knowing that Shinichi was unlikely to be happy with this turn of events. Saguru had not been in favor of this plan of Kaito's, but that hadn't stopped the magician-thief from enacting it anyway.

Saguru cleared his throat and began awkwardly, "Actually...it's just me today."

Shinichi blinked and then stared.

Saguru began to fidget under Shinichi's glacial gaze. "Kaito forgot that he had a meeting scheduled with his professor, so he sent me along with his apologies and regrets to have lunch with you in his stead. He's really sorry, Kudo-kun, and he reasoned that having lunch with me would be better than dining alone, so..."

"Well, he figured wrong," Shinichi muttered. He would have rather had lunch by himself than have to sit in the company of that future-boyfriend-stealing joke of a detective.

Before Hakuba could ask Shinichi to repeat what he'd said, Shinichi continued, "Which professor is he meeting with?"

"Uh...Morinozuka. To hammer out the details of his internship with her theatre company," Saguru recalled the cover story Kaito had instructed him to tell.

This caused an unexpected reaction in Shinichi. His eyes narrowed into an indisputable death glare, and his ears went fire engine red. "Morinozuka? That cougar that's been trying to get into his pants lately?! It's bad enough that he's going to be working for her during spring break, but he's having lunch with her?!"

Saguru's mouth dropped open and rounded into a little "o" shape. Likewise, his eyes went wide in surprise at the murderous growl emanating from Shinichi's throat. "Uh…no," he stammered. "That's just what Kaito told me to tell you…. And I believe Kaito can handle himself against the unwanted attentions of an amorous admirer. He's had plenty of practice, so you don't have to worry about—"

"—Why would Kaito tell you to lie to me?" Shinichi demanded with renewed outrage. "What's he really doing? Who's he with? What's he hiding from me?"

Saguru grimaced. This was not going well at all. "Kudo-kun, I imagine Kaito is just grabbing lunch with some friends or something. Nothing untoward is transpiring, I assure you. Kaito sent me here to have lunch with you purely because he wishes for us to spend time together. I don't know why he can't just arrange things like a sane individual, why he always has to orchestrate elaborate schemes, but that's just the kind of person he is, and you're stuck with him, so if we could please just have lunch together and be friends already, both of our lives would go a whole lot more smoothly."

Shinichi stared at Saguru for a minute, giving the other young man an appraising look. And then he sighed and shook his head. "So long as Kaito's not hiding things from me. I guess I have no choice. Alright. Let's have lunch, Hakuba-kun."

Saguru frowned at this lack of enthusiasm on Kudo's part. "…Forgive me for asking, but…have I done something to offend you, Kudo-kun? You seem a little…reluctant to spend time with me. Or maybe it's just that you're tired and subsequently in a bad mood from working on a challenging case?" Saguru was willing to give the other sleuth the benefit of the doubt.

Shinichi rolled his eyes, stuffing the entirety of an onigiri into his mouth. He swallowed and grumbled, "No. It's definitely you."

Saguru blinked in surprise, cocking his head to the side as he inquired, "Me? I'm terribly sorry, Kudo-kun, but what exactly have I done to make you dislike me?"

"This is about you and Kaito," Shinichi clarified with a growl.

Saguru was feeling a bit lost in this conversation. "What particularly about Kaito and me?"

"I know how you feel about him!" Shinichi accused.

Saguru missed the romantic implications in Shinichi's words. "Oh?"

"I can tell how much you love him, how much he means to you," Shinichi retorted fiercely.

Saguru nodded. "It's hard not to love him, isn't it? I believe you found that out yourself much the same way I did, with him begrudgingly becoming something so dear to you…. Look, I believe he saved me from myself, Kudo-kun. When I came halfway across the globe to chase him, I was a snobby, self-loathing child anxious to prove that I wasn't worthless and desperate to get someone to love me. He taught me that I was okay the way I was…that someone really could care for me. Kaito is one of the most precious people in my life, and, by some miracle, I'm important to him too. I can understand your frustrations with this as Kaito's future mate, but if you have a problem with our relationship, you'd best work through it and get over it already because nothing between Kaito and me is going to change just because you're in his life now. I've been here longer, and I intend upon staying by his side until I breathe my very last breath. We're both precious to Kaito, so we're just going to have to learn to get along. If you could stop being so jealous of what Kaito and I have and start to appreciate your own bond with him a little more, I believe that this would all be much easier."

Shinichi looked down at his miso soup and nodded.

The rest of lunch passed by in a blur of meaningless and awkward small talk.

…

That Thursday, Shinichi was supposed to pick Kaito up from the dorm in the morning to go to breakfast together. He knocked on room number 214 and fidgeted nervously until the door opened a crack.

Unexpectedly, it was Hakuba's head that peeked out. "Did you and Kaito have plans?" he whispered.

Shinichi nodded, noting the spots of what appeared to be vomit on the front and sleeves of Hakuba's shirt.

Saguru waved the other detective in, putting a finger to his lips to indicate that Shinichi should keep his voice low.

Kaito and Hakuba's dorm room was pretty typical as far as the furniture went: two small closets on either side of the door, two dressers pushed up against the wall to the right, a little couch/TV/game counsels/mini fridge setup in the far right corner by the windows, two desks on the left wall, and bunk beds in the left corner of the room. The décor, however, was a clash of personalities. Shinichi could easily pick out what belonged to whom judging by Kaito's clutter and vibrant style. Hakuba's things were neat and orderly, and his decorating style was more subdued.

And that was why Shinichi knew instantly that Kaito was sleeping in Hakuba's bed on the bottom bunk while Kaito's top bunk remained untouched from the night before…if Kaito ever slept in his own bed at all. The top bunk was pristine, so either Hakuba made Kaito's bed for him and washed the sheets and everything, or Kaito usually slept in Hakuba's bed.

Shinichi was seriously considering challenging Hakuba to a duel when he noticed that Kaito didn't look so good. He decided to put off his righteous rage until he had a better handle on Kaito's situation.

"I believe it's food poisoning," Saguru sighed as he went back over to where it looked like he'd been stationed for several hours now at Kaito's bedside. He took the cool cloth off of Kaito's forehead and switched it out for a fresh one. "He has a rather bad F-I-S-H allergy, and I believe some must have gotten into his dinner in the cafeteria."

Kaito mumbled something deliriously.

"Sorry," Saguru whispered. "I thought you were too out of it to understand what I was saying. I won't spell it again."

Shinichi blinked.

Saguru smiled sheepishly. "He has a bit of a phobia, the allergy's so bad. Even the word bothers him."

Shinichi nodded in understanding, feeling like an outsider viewing something he shouldn't as he watched Saguru lovingly wipe Kaito's brow, smooth his hair, and massage his neck. He was beginning to think that maybe he wasn't the right one for Kaito after all. Again the thought that Hakuba and Kaito looked so good together gnawed at Shinichi's self-confidence.

"Would you be able to run to the store and get some things for me?" Saguru inquired with some reservation. "You look more presentable than I do…. Or could you maybe stay with him while I go? I think he might actually like that better…though, I guarantee that if you stay too long and he starts getting more coherent he'll begin making jokes about you putting on a nurse's outfit. Only he won't be joking."

Shinichi saw this as his chance to bow out gracefully, leave the happy couple alone to their clichéd "nursing back to health" scene. "No, I'll go. Just tell me what you need."

Saguru bit his lip. "You know what? He's a little picky when it comes to brands and…actually, well…everything. It'll be faster if I go myself. I don't want to waste too much of your time sending you on a wild goose chase through the aisles of the drug store. If you could keep an eye on him for me, I'll be back in twenty minutes."

Saguru was on his feet and grabbing his jacket before Shinichi could protest, and then Shinichi was left alone with one sick puppy. He cautiously approached, taking Hakuba's vacated spot on the stool at Kaito's bedside.

"Hey," Shinichi greeted softly, gently stroking Kaito's cheek.

Kaito made a vague grunt that may or may not have been recognition.

"Hakuba just ran out for a minute to get some medicine. He'll be back before too long, so just hang in there, Kaito," Shinichi encouraged warmly, petting Kaito's hair.

Kaito muttered nonsensically. It kind of sounded like he was saying something about stinky elephants. And then there came something distinctive: "Sa-chan."

The door opened, and Hakuba reappeared looking slightly embarrassed. "Sorry. I'm all out of sorts today; forgot my wallet."

"Hakuba, maybe I should just go," Shinichi sighed. "He's calling for you."

Saguru frowned, quickly coming to Kaito's side. "What did he say?"

"A bunch of nonsense about elephants and then 'Sa-chan'. That's you, right?" Shinichi replied in a tone that dared Saguru to deny the damming evidence.

Saguru's eyes widened in understanding, and he stood and went over to his desk, removing an old, worn elephant plushie from the shelf above the desk. "He wants this," Saguru informed, bringing the plushie over to the bed. He took Kaito's hand and placed the elephant there within it, wrapping Kaito's fingers around the soft, fuzzy material.

Shinichi raised an eyebrow as Kaito immediately calmed down. "What is that?"

Saguru shrugged, going back over to his desk and fishing his wallet out of one of the drawers. "It's a stuffed animal I've had since I was very young. It goes with me whenever I travel, kind of like a security blanket. Kaito enjoys sending heist notes for it and then hiding it on me. Whenever one of us gets ill, the other puts it in the bed to watch over and comfort us. I'd been so preoccupied with cleaning up throw up and bringing down his temperature that I'd forgotten."

"That's cute," Shinichi snorted, trying to sound sincere but only coming off as jealous.

Saguru frowned. "You'll develop your own rituals and habits with Kaito in your own time, Kudo-kun. Your relationship with him is still brand new."

Shinichi was about to pick a fight and challenge Hakuba to that duel when he thought better of it. Kaito needed medicine as quickly as possible, and it would be irresponsible of Shinichi to be engaging in mortal combat over Kaito when Kaito was in need of medical attention.

Instead, he let the comment go with a nod. He looked back down at Kaito, and his own brow creased. Kaito didn't look so good.

"He'll be better in twenty-four hours, give or take one or two, and he'll be good as new by the day after tomorrow," Saguru assured, seeing the worry on Shinichi's face. "Just sit with him and stoke his hair, and I'll be back in twenty minutes."

Shinichi nodded, trying to make himself believe that Kaito was going to be okay, even though he looked so grey and lifeless lying there in Hakuba's crimson sheets.

Saguru sighed and combed a hand through his tea-colored locks. "Look, he really is going to be alright, Kudo. Food poisoning is nothing. Save your concern for the next time he comes home with a bullet wound."

Shinichi froze.

Saguru frowned. "You didn't know that he gets shot at."

Shinichi and Kaito were going to have a very long, serious talk after the thief got better, but, for now, Shinichi lashed out at the enemy in front of him.

"And I suppose you've nursed him back to health through all that too, huh?" Shinichi snapped.

Saguru's frown deepened and grew confused, his eyebrows pinching together. "Thrice. And that's three more times than I ever wanted to…. Kudo, I'm not against you. Kaito is my best friend…. We're on the same side, Kudo."

"Weren't you going to get medicine or something?" Shinichi muttered, just wanting the competition out of the room already.

Saguru nodded and left with a sigh of resignation.

…

It was Sunday night a week or so later, and Kaito had suggested that the three of them meet at Shinichi's house to watch a movie together.

Shinichi was really hoping that Kaito actually came with the blonde dolt, but he wasn't holding his breath. He fully expected to spend a miserable evening alone with his arch-nemesis. And, sure enough, when Shinichi opened the door, only Hakuba was standing on the front porch.

"Lately Kaito's noticed that we don't seem to be getting along very well in his presence," Saguru explained with a heavy sigh. "Naturally, his solution is to let us have more 'guy time' without him."

"You're kidding," Shinichi replied flatly, wearing a glare of utter irritation.

Saguru went on, pretending that he hadn't heard. Or maybe he really hadn't amidst his own frustration. "It is apparent to me that that is not the answer. I do not dislike you, Kudo, but you obviously have a problem with me, so before we ever watch a movie tonight, we're going to talk about this."

"What if I don't want to?" Shinichi challenged just to be ornery.

"Then I was wrong, and you never deserved Kaito in the first place. His brother and his mate getting along is very important to him, and if you cared about him, you'd try a little harder, Kudo. Now, we're both, for all intents and purposes, adults—even though you're acting like a seven year-old, by the way—and we are going to sit down and talk this out like adults for Kaito's sake."

That made Shinichi shut up. He stepped out of the way and motioned Hakuba into the kitchen where he prepared tea and coffee. They took their beverages into the living room and sat down on the armchair and couch respectively on opposite sides of the coffee table.

Saguru was the first to speak. "Well, first and foremost, you have a lovely home, and thank you so much for welcoming me into it. I really should have brought a gift for imposing upon you like this. Please excuse my—"

"—Do you really have to be so stuffy and formal?" Shinichi interrupted, the formalities really ticking him off. They were rivals, and yet the Brit insisted on pleasantries.

Three trenches formed in Hakuba's brow as it furrowed. "Yes. This is just the way that I am. If you would prefer to just get down to business, though, we could start with a clarification of the facts: you don't like me. Is that correct?"

"I despise you," Shinichi corrected.

"Fair enough," Saguru sighed. "Why? What have I done that's made you feel so strongly about me?"

"I'll say it again since you didn't seem to hear me the first time: I know how you feel about Kaito, and I don't intend on losing to you!"

Saguru blinked as the words failed to make sense. Maybe his Japanese had suffered from all of those years spent in England and he just hadn't noticed until now. No matter how he tried, he couldn't reconcile the words Shinichi was using with the definitions he had in his head for them to get any meaning out of them. "What?" he replied dumbly.

"I know you're in love with Kaito too, but I'm not going to lose him to you," Shinichi growled in determination. "Kaito means everything to me, and I'll fight you every step of the way!"

Saguru just stared in disbelief. And then he started laughing in sheer horror.

Shinichi, of course, took this the wrong way, rising to his feet and slamming his palms down on the coffee table between them. "I'm serious! I won't lose him to you! I don't care about how well you know each other and how close you are and what all you've been through. I love Kaito, and I WILL get him to choose me."

Saguru waved his hands and shook his head vehemently at this gross misunderstanding. "Kudo-kun, please believe me when I say that there is nothing of a romantic nature going on between Kaito and me. We're the best of friends, yes, as close as brothers that actually like each other fifty percent of the time, but we are not, not by any means, in love as you two are. I love him dearly, but I am not in love with him, Kudo-kun," Saguru pleaded his case.

Shinichi pursed his lips, reverting to a petulant behavior he sometimes used as Conan. "You're such a liar!" he fumed, hands balling up into fists. "I see the way you two act together. I see the way you look at each other…. I see the way you look together. You two make a great couple. You're so kind and thoughtful and doting even, and he's just so damn affectionate with you. I can see what's going on right in front of my face, Hakuba, so don't insult my intelligence."

Saguru's eyebrows knitted together. "Can you? Can you really? Because it seems to me that you might possibly need glasses. I repeat: there is nothing amorous going on between Kaito and myself. We may seem intimate, but it's all purely platonic. I'm sure he'd laugh outright if you suggested the idea of the two of us as a couple to him. Kudo, I understand where you're coming from. I've been in love before too, and I know how it can make you blind with jealousy. You start seeing things that aren't really there."

"Then how do you explain the fact that Kaito frequently sleeps in your bed?" Shinichi challenged, not ready to let go of his delusions yet.

Saguru opened his mouth and then slowly shut it. "That…it's not like that. He does it to bug me. Besides, you know how tactile he is, always touching and pestering and invading your personal space. He's like a snake seeking warmth, so he curls up in my bed…. Okay, even to my own ears it sounds like a bold-faced lie, but it really is the truth, Kudo-kun. You know Kaito. You know what he's like."

Shinichi rolled his eyes, settling back down into the chair. "Yeah, that really does sound like total bull, but…so…you've never…you've never had sex with Kaito?"

Saguru's mouth fell open as his face went raspberry red. "Heavens no! Kudo-kun, Kaito may be a total flirt, but he's never slept with anyone!"

Shinichi blinked, the intense glare finally melting off of his face. "Really?" Suddenly he felt immense relief. "I mean…I'd still love him even if he had been with someone else before, but…"

Saguru nodded. "I know what you mean, but, no. Kaito takes relationships very seriously. He would have to be absolutely committed to someone before he'd do anything like that with them."

Shinichi's face flushed. "So…when he was talking about doing those kinds of things with me the other day, he…"

"Kaito's completely serious about you, Kudo-kun," Saguru assured.

Shinichi pursed his lips, unable to shake all of his suspicions. "…But…even if you haven't slept with him yet, you still want to, and that's not something I can easily overlook. There may not be anything going on right now, but I don't believe you when you say you don't have feelings for Kaito at all. I see the way you look at him."

Saguru heaved a two-ton sigh and steepled his fingers to keep from tearing his own hair out. "Kudo-kun, for the last time, I am not in love with Kaito. I like women! A very specific woman, in fact. I am in love with Nakamori Aoko, so get that through your thick, love-addled head!"

"Doesn't Aoko-san still have a thing for Kaito?" Shinichi's ears pricked up, sensing a new threat in his current state of paranoia. "I see what you're playing at. That's smart, trying to set up a threesome."

Saguru's jaw dropped once more. "You are a blooming idiot!" he screeched in utter aggravation. "God! I am telling you, I have no romantic interest in Kaito! That obnoxious ninny is my confidant, my best friend, my comforter, my support, my brother, but he is not a love interest!"

Shinichi frowned, struggling to let go of all of his doubts and insecurities. "So…you've never kissed him or anything?"

With a gigantic sigh, Saguru rested his face in his hands. He couldn't deny it, but he sure as hell wasn't going to admit to it. "Okay. Look. This is what we're going to do. Forget me for a moment, would you? Since you're not going to believe me anyway? Let's focus on Kaito, okay? You love him, right? That's been established."

Shinichi nodded.

"He loves you too, correct? I mean…he's told you that he loves you, right?"

Shinichi shifted defensively. "Y-Yeah. Kaito tells me how he feels about me all the time," he retorted, a scarlet stain spreading across his cheeks.

"And do you believe him?" Saguru pushed.

"Of course!" Shinichi replied instantly and emphatically, scandalized that Hakuba even had to ask.

"Because Kaito is honest and trustworthy, right?" Saguru continued towards his point.

"Right," Shinichi agreed. "Kaito would never lie to me."

"Exactly, and he'd never cheat on you because he loves you so dearly and you can trust him, right?"

"…Right," Shinichi responded quietly, starting to understand what Hakuba was getting at.

"Then what's the problem, Kudo-kun?" Saguru let his words hang there for a minute before he concluded, "I'll tell you what the problem is: you're still insecure and you're doubting yourself. You're not yet ready to accept the fact that someone loves you so much."

They sat in silence for a good four or five minutes before Shinichi looked Saguru in the eye and asked, "There's nothing going on between you and Kaito, is there?"

"No," Saguru replied patiently for Kaito's sake.

Shinichi looked down at his folded hands and nodded. "This whole time it's all just been in my head, hasn't it?"

Saguru shrugged. "Yes, but, to be fair, what with Kaito being Kaito, it was easy to misunderstand. I don't hold it against you, Kudo-kun."

"Thanks," Shinichi chuckled sheepishly, scratching his cheek. "Sorry about all this, Hakuba-kun. I—"

"—Honestly, don't worry about it," Saguru reassured. "I'd rather move on. Did you despise me for any other reasons, or can we be friends now?"

"Oh…uh…no…haha. That was pretty much it." On the inside, Shinichi was dying of embarrassment.

"Good. Now we can focus on much more important things like which portrayal of Holmes you think is most accurate, which case was your favorite, and what your opinion of Doctor Watson's wives is."

Shinichi blinked and then smiled a face-splitting grin spanning from one ear to the other. "Oh. We are going to be really good friends, aren't we?"

"The best," Saguru assured with a smug grin of his own. "Besides Kaito, of course. He'd pout for years if I ever replaced him."

"I can just imagine," Shinichi chuckled. "…So…question… Do you think I'm a good match for Kaito?"

"Oh, absolutely." Saguru smiled self-consciously. "Now I do, anyway. At first…well, I had my doubts about a man rebounding from a decade and a half-long relationship, but…I have since had adequate opportunity to observe and evaluate you, so…now I know for sure that you're everything I've ever hoped for Kaito to find in a romantic partner."

"You really think that?" Shinichi was almost speechless, and his face shone with pride and relief. He knew how much Hakuba cared for Kaito and what an honor it was to be considered the perfect candidate for Kaito's mate.

Hakuba nodded with a kind smile. "Certainly, but, by the way, please feel free to ask if you ever need any help with him. He's…seven kinds of special, as I'm sure you've noticed. I'd be more than happy to assist in any way I possibly can."

"Thank you so much, Hakuba-kun," Shinichi replied joyously. "Actually…before we begin our geek-tastic evening, I do have a quick question, if that's okay."

"Of course. Ask away."

Shinichi bit his lip, nervous to actually ask. "What with Valentine's coming up, I was wondering if Kaito had a favorite restaurant."

Saguru nodded knowingly. "Not really one in particular. He enjoys Indian cuisine quite a bit, but don't feel constrained by that fact. He actually likes trying out new places a great deal, so you really can't go wrong so long as you steer clear of anywhere with a lot of seafood."

"Right. Because of his allergy," Shinichi muttered, and then, "One more: do you happen to know his favorite color?"

Saguru stifled a bit of a laugh. "Octarine," he reported.

Shinichi blinked. "What now?"

"That's what Kaito says whenever anyone asks. It's from the Terry Pratchett books. Octarine is the color of magic, so Kaito always tells people that that's his favorite color. Fitting, isn't it? Anyway, in all actuality, he seems to favor colors in the purple-blue-green range, but…I think his favorite is actually pink. Now shall we commence our geek session?"

"Let's!" Shinichi agreed enthusiastically, and they ended up spending the next seven or eight hours watching movies, chatting animatedly, and generally neglecting their sleep.

…

The next morning Saguru slunk back into their dorm room at eight o'clock after having gotten a grand total of one and a half hours of sleep. Not that it made much of a difference. Saguru was used to the long, endless hours what with the all-nighters he had had to pull over the past few years of Kid heists.

"Somebody's late," Kuroba Kaito cooed like a Persian cat from where he still lay curled up in Hakuba's bed.

Saguru rolled his eyes. "Why aren't you sleeping in your own bed? You don't have separation anxiety, do you?"

"Me? Never," Kaito assured. "It's just that…I've claimed this bed for Spain and can therefore do as I wish…and I wished to sleep here last night."

Saguru resisted the urge to give his eyes another roll lest they roll like dice right out of his skull. "Kuroba, you are not Spanish. You cannot possibly claim my bunk for Spain."

"Hush. I've been given a sacred quest by the king and queen of Spain to conquer land for Spain and convert its people to Christianity."

"I'm already Christian." This time Saguru gave in and gave his eyes a small roll. Just a small one.

"Huzzah! One down!" Kaito cheered even as he snuggled back up in Saguru's sheets.

"Out of my bed, Kuroba," Saguru sighed, knowing that there would be no winning against Kaito's insanity.

"Nope," Kaito sang, pulling the covers over his head.

Saguru glared and went over to extract the magician himself, grabbing hold of a foot and pulling.

Neither participant in this game of tug-of-war was surprised when Saguru's efforts proved futile. After a full minute of tugging and prodding and pleading, Saguru took a step back to regroup.

And then Saguru enacted his brilliant plan: "Kuroba, did you want to go get breakfast at Nancy's? My treat."

Faster than you could say "I know where your buttons are and just how to push them", Kaito was up, dressed, and ready to walk out the door.

"Whatcha waiting for, Haku-chan? Let's go!" And now Kaito was the one pulling on Saguru.

Saguru reminded himself of the very real danger of pulling something and refrained from rolling his eyes once more.

…

"So you and Shin-chan had a good time?" Kaito surmised just before shoving a heaping forkful of pancakes into his mouth. And then he proceeded to talk with his mouth full, "I figured as much when you didn't come home last night."

Saguru, who was by now completely jaded and immune to Kaito's obnoxious behavior (besides, he knew Kaito only acted that badly in front of Saguru), took a sip of tea and responded levelly, "Yes. We had quite the nice evening…and night and morning…once we got things sorted out."

Kaito swallowed and then took a big gulp of chocolate milk. "So what was the big hang up? You guys worked it all out, right?"

Saguru set his cup and saucer down and looked Kaito in the eye. "Yes, we've gotten to the bottom of things, but…the problem, Kaito, is that your flirtatious behavior is making your intended insecure."

Kaito's fork paused midair at the use of his given name and then slowly made its way back to resting on the plate as the rest of Hakuba's sentence sank in.

"In particular, Kudo feels that things between you and I are a little…too intimate," Saguru continued.

Kaito blinked. "Wait. What?"

"You heard me," Saguru grumbled, still feeling incredulous about the whole mess.

"Us? Shinichi feels insecure because of you?" Kaito's mouth dropped open and collided with the table.

"Apparently. I was the one he had a problem with, wasn't I? He was convinced that something of a romantic nature was going on between you and me," Saguru filled his best friend in.

Kaito stared in horror, much like Saguru had when he'd first heard.

"I believe he was under the impression that we were sleeping together what with your habit of claiming my bed for Spain," Saguru went further.

Kaito's expression then melted into one of absolute repulsion.

Saguru frowned. "Surely the idea of sleeping with me isn't that—"

"—No, it really is," Kaito assured. "Geez. I need brain bleach. Why the hell would he think that we…that you and I would…that…that…" Kaito shook his head like a wet dog, trying to get the bad images out. "I mean…gross!"

"I kind of understand how he'd go about getting the wrong idea, though." Saguru shrugged. "We do kind of behave like a couple."

Kaito looked back at Saguru with a deadpan expression.

"We do," Saguru insisted. "It may just be normal behavior for the two of us, but the way you're always all over me and the way that I fuss over you…we do act very much like a couple."

Kaito looked down into his plate, deep in thought. "So…Shinichi wants us to stop acting like that?"

"He didn't say." Saguru shrugged.

Kaito looked back up at Saguru with a pouty expression. "I don't want to stop acting like that, though. I like my relationship with you just the way it is. If I couldn't joke and play around with you like we do now…"

Saguru nodded, reaching across the table to pat Kaito on the head. "I agree. It is nice to have someone that you can just be utterly ridiculous with…. I don't have anyone else like that."

"Me either," Kaito echoed.

Saguru chuckled. "Kuroba, you're utterly ridiculous with everyone."

Kaito rolled his eyes. "Okay, yeah, but…" He smiled softly. "Not like this, Saguru."

Hakuba looked away, hoping Kaito wouldn't notice his faint blush. "Then that settles it. Your boyfriend will just have to get over our relationship because I'm not giving it up without a fight."

"You say the sweetest things, Haku-chan," Kaito cooed. "I feel the same way about you."

Saguru winced. "Okay, when you say it like that, it makes me feel dirty."

Kaito tittered, "Dirty as in 'I wanna take you back to the dorm room, rip off all of your clothes with my teeth, and—'"

"—No," Saguru cut him off firmly. "Dirty as in 'I've been apprehended by the criminal and imprisoned in a dumpster with a corpse, and now I would like to take a shower' dirty."

Kaito shrugged, biting into his pancakes once more with gusto. "Suit yourself. I'm hot stuff, and you know it."

"This is why your future boyfriend thinks that our living arrangements are less platonic than they actually are," Saguru pointed out, going back to his tea.

Kaito rolled his eyes. "We'll just have to have a threesome then."

Saguru almost fell out of his chair.

"Don't give me that look," Kaito chided.

Saguru wasn't really sure what expression was on his face at the moment, but he was certain that it was some variation upon "I'd rather be dragged naked through town by a wild herd of wildebeests".

Kaito continued regardless. "You're sure to come to love Shinichi's sexy brain before long, and you both like Sherlock Holmes. Plus, he looks a lot like me, so physical attraction won't be an issue; in fact, it'd almost be like doing it with twins. Or is that too kinky for you? …Don't give me that look, Haku-chan."

This time Saguru knew exactly what look he was giving Kuroba. It was an expression that he often wore: "Cease and desist before I obtain a machete and gleefully chop you up into little, itty-bitty pieces and eat you".

"Kuroba, you would give me the last yen in your pocket, the shirt off your back, the very last scrap of food in your house, a bite of your dessert even, but you would never, ever share Kudo Shinichi with me. Furthermore, Kudo would never share you either," Saguru stated with absolute certainty.

Kaito cocked his head to the side. "Yeah? So…Shin-chan really likes me?"

"Kuroba, he's over the moon for you," Saguru assured. "When he thought that you and I were an item, he was ready to fight me to the death over you."

Kaito smirked. "Yeah? He was jealous?"

"Extremely."

A familiar scheming look come to Kaito's face. "I'd like to see him jealous. I might have to flirt with you in front of him sometime."

Saguru grimaced. "If you wish me dead, by all means. We may have a tentative friendship fostered by our mutual admiration of Holmes, but I don't believe that that will be enough to keep him from binding, gagging, and subsequently torturing me to death."

"Do you think Shinichi's into BDSM?" Kaito asked with sparkles in his eyes.

Saguru frowned. "No. I do not believe he has a natural inclination towards such activities as you do, but…I think that he wouldn't say no if you batted your eyes at him and asked him to put you in handcuffs."

"Excellent," Kaito chuckled in a way that made Saguru feel slightly uncomfortable.

The idea of Kaito engaging in bedroom activities was by no means a new one, and Saguru had gotten used to the fact that Kaito was a sexual being despite Kaito having never had the opportunity to take his body on a test drive. No, what made Saguru uncomfortable was the idea of Kaito's intended partner in those scenarios. Saguru just couldn't reconcile the idea of Kudo Shinichi, a detective that he had come to respect greatly, using handcuffs for anything but their original, intended purpose.

After a minute and a half, Saguru finally decided on a response: "Right." And then he went back to sipping at his tea. It was only lukewarm now.

…

Kaito was beginning to regret forcing his two detectives into a relationship. Lately, whenever he wanted to do something with either of them, they were already doing something together. Kaito would end up tagging along to their planned event and feeling like a total third wheel. The conversations, while certainly interesting for the participants, held no draw for him, and most of the outings were not up Kaito's alley and quite honestly boring to the thief.

The worst thing was that Shinichi was stealing Hakuba from Kaito. Kaito had always been the blonde's best friend, the only one Saguru could talk to about things, the only one that understood, that really got him. But now Shinichi was there, and Shinichi understood better.

One day, Kaito got to the boiling point. Shinichi and Saguru were gushing over the latest season of Sherlock in Shinichi's living room (no matter that Kaito could have actually joined in on parts of the conversation if he had chosen to do so) when Kaito got up and affixed himself to Saguru's torso.

Really, only Shinichi was surprised at this sudden development. Saguru had long ago begrudgingly grown accustomed to Kaito's oddities, so really the only question in his mind was why Kaito was twisting around him like a baby koala this time.

"This has gone on long enough," Kaito declared.

Shinichi slowly lowered the hands he had just been gesturing wildly with and blinked in confusion at his soon-to-be boyfriend. "…Wh-What's the matter, Kaito?"

"You're stealing my best friend!" Kaito whined, jabbing Saguru in the cheek. "I'm supposed to be his best friend, but lately he's been spending all of his time with you, and you two are getting all buddy-buddy and doing everything together, and it's not fair!

"How am I supposed to compete with you, Shinichi, when you're all dreamy and brainy and have way more in common with Haku-chan than I do? You're cheating!" Kaito whined.

Shinichi blushed in embarrassment at all of Kaito's thinly-veiled compliments. "I…uh…I'm sorry…. I…" he stammered, not sure what to say to quell Kaito's agitation.

"Kai," Saguru called softly, attempting to defuse the situation. "Are you jealous because I've been neglecting you lately?"

Kaito nodded with doe-like eyes, looking like he might start bawling at any second. "You don't love me anymore now that you have Shin-chan."

"Kaito, that's not true at all," Saguru assured in a motherly tone. "I like you much better than Kudo. I'd rather be spending time with you; it's just…didn't you ask me to get along with Kudo because it was so important to you?"

Kaito paused, blinking slowly three times. "I did, didn't I?"

Saguru nodded.

"But you like me best?" Kaito pressed.

Saguru nodded once more.

Seeming appeased, Kaito nodded and moved off of Saguru's lap. "So long as you like me best," Kaito mumbled, going into the kitchen to get more popcorn.

Once he was gone, Shinichi turned to Saguru and raised an eyebrow. "Just now, was he serious?"

Saguru shrugged, settling back into the couch. "Yes and no. He was by no means that upset that he would actually throw a tantrum like that, but…at the same time, he is uneasy about his standing with me. The thing about Kaito is, when he starts acting like a child like that, pay attention. To what he says…that is, not to how he says it. He has a hard time truly opening up to people, so whenever he's worried about something, he tends to downplay it by treating it in a comical, childish manner instead of just coming out and saying that something is bothering him."

"So…what happened just now was Kaito telling us that he feels left out…like he's not number one to you anymore, right?" Shinichi surmised.

"Exactly."

Shinichi's eyebrows pinched together. "And what do I do about this? I mean…should I say something to him, or…?"

"No." Saguru waved Shinichi's concern away. "I'll take care of it. This is between the two of us, really. I'll be careful to spend some more time with him…do some things that he enjoys. I suppose I have been taking him for granted what with this new friendship lately."

"We have been spending a lot of time together," Shinichi mused. "Maybe the three of us should do something Kaito-centric?"

"That sounds like an awesome plan!" Kaito chortled as he bounded back into the living room and dove onto the couch, landing in between Shinichi and Saguru. "I want to go to the zoo and Tropical Land and that super expensive Chinese restaurant with the chocolate fountain."

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "That's quite the list. Anywhere else while you're at it?"

Kaito raised an eyebrow. "And the Louvre and the Musee d'Orsay and Bath and Stonehenge." Kaito wiggled his eyebrows as if challenging Shinichi to speak again.

"Seriously?" Shinichi gaped incredulously.

"My mother has been asking about you," Saguru replied thoughtfully. "Maybe we'll go over the summer."

"Yay! Europe!" Kaito sang, wrapping his arms joyously around Saguru's neck.

Shinichi blinked. "You seriously take him to Europe with you?"

Saguru nodded. "Of course. My family loves him…even my demonic grandmother. My mother loves taking him shopping and dressing him up. Did I forget to tell you that he's pampered and very high-maintenance? Sorry about that. Soon he'll be your problem." Saguru smiled amicably, but it came out more devilish than anything.

Shinichi grimaced. He was definitely getting more than he bargained for with Kaito and Hakuba. They were excellent friends, but Shinichi was beginning to wonder if they weren't more trouble than they were worth.

But then he looked at Kaito, smiling impishly as he clung to Saguru, doing everything he could to generally annoy the blonde. Kaito really had become precious to Shinichi.

And then there was Hakuba. The Brit was an irreplaceable companion: intelligent, sardonic, and quite witty to boot. Plus, Hakuba was an invaluable resource when it came to Kaito.

"Movie time!" Kaito announced, tackling Shinichi and nuzzling the detective.

Saguru rolled his eyes, mouthing, "Needy and clingy, I tell you" to Shinichi.

Shinichi just smiled and mouthed back, "You seem to have pretty good control of him, though".

Saguru shook his head sadly.

Kaito smirked. "Nope. In reality, I play him like a flute."

"He speaks the truth." Saguru shrugged. "And he'll do it to you too if you're too lenient with him."

"Movie time!" Kaito reiterated as the opening credits started up.

And that settled that. But somehow, Shinichi was okay with it. He could live with things the way they were and be a very happy man. So long as Hakuba was there too, telling him what exactly he had done wrong when Kaito suddenly started giving him the cold shoulder, interpreting the very difficult language of Kaito-ese for Shinichi, and showing Shinichi all the ins and outs of surviving a relationship with Kuroba Kaito.

Thinking about it now, Shinichi was kind of glad that Kaito and Hakuba came as a set. He didn't think he'd be able to handle Kaito without the blonde's help.

…

Mikau: And that's the end my darlings. So? What did you think? There were parts that I thought were a little meh, but other parts I genuinely liked. I think things started picking up again once Kaito was back in the picture. He always makes things enjoyable.

Okay. Serious question, people: anyone read that one-shot by Luna Darkside called "Behind the Mask"? I was actually reading fanfiction the other day (I know. Immense shocker.), and I came across that one. I thought the premise of Kaito teaching Shinichi to disguise in order to hide from the Organization still at large sounded promising, but she's only written out a little teaser, and it doesn't seem she's going to continue, so the fic is up for adoption. What do we think? I've got some ideas and about 1300 of a second chapter written, so… Do we think I'm too busy? Are we mad at me for being so late on updating Roses and HP? I'm thinking maybe I should work on Behind the Mask in my spare time and see if I can really get it to go anywhere. I'd hate to commit to it and then let everyone down. Let me know what you think because I'm truly on the fence. And, of course, let me know if you liked this omake chapter too. Take care guys, and thanks so much!