WELCOME TO SEASON 2 OF SECURITY AUTHORS!
*crowd cheers wildly*
"As always prepare yourselves for Comedy, Action, Romance, Sarcasm, characters getting the ever loving tar beat out of them, and cameos up the wazoo!"
WG: ..Who let Strong Bad in here?
Fan: I dunno.
Strong Bad: AW CRAP THE FUZZ! *runs*
WG: O-kay... ON WITH THE STORY AND OVER-USE OF CAPS-LOCK! =D
Disclaimer: We own nothing but any OC, now get rid of this thing before it kills any more joy!
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It was a warm spring day in Toontown…...wait I thought we got rid of these openings...what's that? Shut up and get back to work or else I'm fired?
I've got gigs all over what makes you think that I won't just quit and you'll have to do it with script talk and get the fic taken down-
*beating up noses are heard along with screaming and the sound of a sofa being slammed into something*
Okay Okay I'll do it! Just enough with the sofa okay, and when did you last clean that thing!?
*Gun click*
I'll shut up now.
Anyway it was your average Spring day in Toontown as the bees were attacking random people for the lulz, the birds were covering that statues with poo, and there is a sure sign that there is no more cold weather for the rest of the year….except at Elsa's place but she's the Snow Queen- what do you expect besides blistering cold?
Anyway we find ourselves at the House of Mouse, as these usually begin- except however a large ribbon was in place out in front of the doors and toons were queued around it, and not just because Goofy was tied up to a Lamp post with Max with the ribbon as well... though many had decided to take pictures with their cell phones or cameras.
"This is the most embarrassing moment of my life right now." Max groaned as he hung upside down and dangling from the light with a big bow tied around him. "Everyones watching us!"
"Well Maxy, hyuk, that's the price of Stardom!" Goofy pointed out happily as he was tied to the post by his feet. "Besides I'm sure that we'll get down soon! After all the club can't run without us!"
Max looked around at the crowd. "It can't run without Mickey and the others either, especially the Security Team." he said as he noticed that Pete was in the crowd looking peeved off.
...however he also saw a figure in a robe with a top hat, and next to him was a figure shorter with grey hair but when he blinked they had vanished into the crowd. But, more on that later.
While Max and Goofy were dealing with their problems, inside the club the rest of the club's employees were all standing in the lobby, all lined up and ready, noticeably however they were dressed up nicer than normal with Minnie wearing a Blue Dress with a puffy Skirt, Donald and Horace wearing suits, Daisy in an evening gown and Clarabelle, was wearing a Black and white dress and Mickey was also wearing his best suit as he stood in front of them.
"Alright guys this is it, reopening night of the House of Mouse since it's renovation, we have all new floors, ceiling carpet, new decorations, bigger space, bigger tables a bigger kitchen, more parking, more coffee makers, more films, the prop room doubled in size... and a guy frozen in the freezer!" Mickey said and then took a deep breath and drank some water.
"Wait we have a what in the freezer?" Clarabelle asked stunned as she pulled out her notepad. "Who did you kill?"
"More like he'll kill us if he gets unfrozen." Minnie said rolling her eyes, "We have to leave Hater trapped in the freezer for the time being."
*Cut to inside the clubs walk in Freezer where Hater79, the evil robot duplicate of Fanatic is now stuck to the wall and frozen in place*
"Oh," Clarabelle said as she drooped. "...there goes that big story then."
Mickey gave an aside glance and sighed. "Now look I know that certain things recently have put you all on edge…"
"ON EDGE?" Donald roared suddenly and stormed up to Mickey, "My time in the NAVY was less stressful, the time I was a NAZI was less stressful than this!"
"Oh Donald back off, why don't ya?" Daisy said as she glared at her boyfriend. "It wasn't SO bad,"
Donald looked back at her. "You're kidding right?" he said and Daisy gasped then huffed, crossing her arms as she looked away from him. Donald then whirled back toward Mickey. "I have had it up to HERE with the constant chaos, the mayhem, the action- and that stuff was there BEFORE Fanatic and Wherever Girl showed up!"
Suddenly everyone paused."Speaking of which where are they?" Minnie asked "They should be here right now."
"Who cares?! We were off safer before them and we'll be better off now!" Donald said angrily as Mickey sighed.
"Donald I know it's rough, but look at things on the bright side: they got the Censor Monkey's off our backs, they got Pete off us too, they've punted out the Knock Off's and Judge Doom from the club and FF2 was the one who got the new Mickey Mouse shorts produced."
Donald growled but then sighed. "I would make a counterpoint but the shorts have done much better things to us than Mickey Mouse Clubhouse."
Everyone hushed Donald at that moment.
Mickey then turned toward the doors and sighed. "Alright everyone let's get ready." He said as Minnie slipped her hand into his and they looked at each other smiling as they all walked out the doors towards the waiting crowd of toons. "Welcome to the grand re-opening of the House of Mouse!"
The crowd cheered. "About time, Mouse!" Pete shouted above the crowd. "I was ten seconds from shutting the place down!"
"PETE!" came an angry shout as Pete's ex-wife, Peg, stormed up. "What did I just get done telling you?!"
Pete cringed. "...no threats to shut the club down, or I've got the kids all summer?"
"EXACTLY."
"D'oh... fine. (ugh, this season is going to suck)."
"Well, without further ado, lets get on with the celebration!" Mickey exclaimed, cutting the ribbon.
The moment he did, there was a descending whistle.
"What the...?"
*CRASH!*
Everyone gasped as a human-shaped hole appeared in the floor... and Wherever Girl popped out, waving. "Hello, everybody!" she exclaimed.
"WG... did... did you just jump off the building?!" Mickey sputtered.
"Yes."
"Why?!"
"Well, me and Fanatic drew straws to see who would do it," her eyes got all bubbly just then. "And it's always been my dream to leap off a cliff- but since there isn't any around, I had to use the club as a substitute."
"I meant why would you even be crazy enough to do it?!"
"Because I'm insane, and I like to make an entrance. ...Speaking of which, has Fanatic dropped in yet?"
"Um-"
Suddenly there was a loud cry and Fanatic slammed into the pavement next to WG.
"Well, looks like Fanatic didn't want to be left out." Donald commented.
Fanatic got up, spewing asphalt out from his teeth. "No it's just that SOMEONE didn't want to follow the script and just pushed me off the roof!"
He turned his head up as a voice called out: "That's for what happened in Cuba!"
From the middle of the Crowd G1 Starscream looked up and shouted, "Skywarp get your fragging aft down here right now or else I'm going to go up there and blast your aft back to Cybertron!
The response was unanimous-
"GAH!"
"MY EARS!"
"GAH LAY OFF THE HELIUM MAN!"
Starscream facepalmed as half the crowd was on the ground screaming in pain and holding their ears at the sound of his high pitched voice while Skywarp laughed.
Fanatic and WG pulled of their ear muffs and the Co Authoress scowled toward him.
"I thought we said no more overuse of the caps!"
Fanatic gave a shrug. "I felt it necessary."
*Whack!*
"And I Felt it necessary to hit you with a 2X4." WG said tossing the board aside where it hit someone offscreen, with a faint cry of, "Ow my pancreas!"
Mickey sighed, "Not even five minutes..." he said to himself.
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A Little while later after everyone had been treated by Doctors and had their ears fixed up, though Grumpy still complained about a strange ringing, everyone was in the club, and Fanatic and WG were talking with Daisy.
"So," The female duck asked, leaning over her desk. "What's in store for this season,because I need to know how thick of armor I need to get."
WG shrugged her shoulders a bit, looking toward Fanatic who held an ice pack to his head.
'We have a few ideas, but nothing Finalized, though what we do have is a bit different from last season, for instance, no more Caps overuse, right Fanatic?" the authoress said.
Fanatic gave a nod, and spit out another tooth.
Daisy gasped, 'But that's half of our jokes!"
"We've got new ones- lots of new ones." Fanatic said with a slight grin, and then whipped around toward WG, "Hit it!"
WG grinned and then slammed a mallet into a Boombox that began playing Weird Al's Hardware store.
*Insert Parody of Hardware store about the club here- we were too lazy to include a full scene, so just use your imagination*
"Okay, so that didn't give me much mostly because I was too focused on the Chicken Wing back up dancers." Daisy commented.
WG and Fanatic binked. "We had Backup dancers dressed as Giant Chicken wings?"
Daisy paused. 'Right I thought I caught the words 80% more Randomness in there, so can we expect any more authors?"
"Oh yes tons." WG said with a grin, "Okay not really tons but a few," She said, pulling out a list, "Let's see here we've got,"
-PrimesSPARROW, AKA Kat and Orion *They share the account*
-Scoobycool9
-Prince Tanabi
-Anti-Twilight Forever
-Moonlesscat
-Dragongirl117 and Sky Flame
-and Shaggy, Puggsy, and Flip.
Daisy gaped at the list. 'That's, that's a lot of new faces."
Fanatic shrugged, at least three of them are level headed and the only reason we got Kat and Orion to come was because we promised Optimus would be here." he stated.
Just then, G1, and Cybertron Optimus Primes came walking past, and G1 prime raised a hand in greetings as they walked past.
"So where are the others tonight then? I would've thought they would be here." Daisy asked.
"They were going to come…" WG said, "But they had some other things to worry about."
*Image of FF2 fighting Daleks; Tracker sitting inside a room while a Ton of Boxes filled with TF Comics with the words, From Fanatic written on them; and Sailor and Colin were tied up and about to dipped in Melted Cheese.*
"Why is MY name on that list?!" Puggsy demanded, seeing a glimpse of the New Security Authors list, (which is rude BTW) and giving WG a glare.
"Well it's because- Oh my gosh! It's the characters from Percy Jackson and the Olympians book series!" WG exclaimed, then rushed off with her autograph book, leaving the shorter cartoon to sigh heavily.
"Well, looks like we're back on the clock!" Fanatic exclaimed and ran off after her. "WG WAIT, YOUR HEART RATE CANNOT-"
Then he ran past screaming as WG chased him down with a 2X4.
"I said no use of Caps!" She shouted.
"It's an old habit it's going to die hard!"
Daisy sighed as she picked up the Phone, "Hello? Body Armors R Us? Yes, what's the heaviest armor you have? ...Ooh, sounds sturdy! I'll take one,"
"Make it two," Puggsy whispered.
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Meanwhile, in another dimension, a cloaked figure stood in front of a ruined building, which Tempus was seated on like a King atop the throne of a Fallen foe.
"Do you know your mission?" he asked.
"Yes, commander," replied a serious, female voice.
"Good. Do not fail like the last one... you know what will happen."
"Failure? I am the opposite of my counterpart, failure isn't in my vocabulary."
Tempus laughed darkly,. "Excellent, go forth and retrieve him, I still have use for him."
'Yes my liege, my liege, my leg, my legggiiiiiiiieeee-" She said and then fell over with a clang.
Tempus gaped and then whipped his head around, "Cadaver!"
A Bot with a hunch, and white body appeared. 'You called my liege?" he asked.
"Something happened to her," He said, pointing to the cloaked figure, "I need you to-"
"Oh I already figured that you, the threatening Chip that Hater put in her was the last one we had and we tried fixing it and well... Mors decided to let Shuck into the lab-"
"I don't want excuses! Can you replace that chip?"
"Nope."
Tempus paused, 'And I take it that using my abilities to repair it now would-"
"Make her a Vegetable and since we don't have the same process for Hater that we do with her set up yet-"
Tempus cowled under his faceplate. 'Just get her out of here and be quick about it!"
"Yes, my liege!" the bot grabbed the cloaked robotic figure and wobbled away. "Hey, Mor! Get on Amazon and see if they have any intimidating voice-chips!"
Tempus only sighed, then turned back towards the screen, which showed an image of the city. "No matter... This city will be in ruins before long, and not even those 'security authors' can stop it this time." he stated. "Soon, Fanatic, you and I shall meet again..."
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"Um... hate to interrupt the suspense guys, but... we're still tied up here!" Max said to the authors.
"Oh, sorry, we were spacing off thinking about the oncoming chaos." WG said, then sliced the ribbon with her machete, having Goofy and Max hit the ground. "Better?"
"Almost..." Max groaned.
"Good, now if you excuse me Fanatic has a date with this 2X4 for suing the caps." And with that she ran off.
Max sighed and facepalmed and Goofy Blinked. "Golly I didn't know that Wood was datable!" he stated.
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Meanwhile Inside the Proproom, a lone figure sat tied to a chair, he had a white face and Black body like Mickey's except where Mickey had round ears, he had Tall rabbit like ears, Blue Shorts and a bit more a rounder face too.
He also looked like someone placed him in a cage full of angry gorillas.
He watched as the figures in front of him stood over him and he scowled.
'So tell me is this the special treatment around here or this all just for me?" he sneered.
"Shut up!" one of the figures hissed, slapping him across the face. "We want answers!"
"Then look them up on the internet-"
*Slap!*
"One more crack like that, and you can change your name to 'The Unlucky Rabbit'!" another figure sneered. "Now tell us... where is he?"
The rabbit only glared. "Bite me,"
"Arggh... throw him back into the gorilla cage!" With that, the rabbit was hauled away.
"What now?" The second figure asked. "He's not willing to talk!"
"Oh he will... if he wants to see his 'brother' again!"
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WG paused just then, dropping the 2X4. "Ever have the feeling-?" she began to ask.
"That something bad is going to happen? Yep. ...I've learned to ignore it," Fanatic said.
WG nodded. "Alright... now where were we?"
"You were about to clobber me with that board... is this going to be a running gag, by the way?"
"Meh," WG dropped the board. "As often as we break the caps lock, maybe... Or we could just put a quarter in a jar every time we use a Nostalgia Critic joke," she then held up a jar labeled, 'NC Jokes'.
Fanatic only shrugged, and they went back to their post, both of them knowing for a fact that it was going to be another long year, and everyone would be needing a vacation soon- including me, considering I have to narrate and describe everything that goes on in this story, and it's hard to keep track of, and it doesn't help that the authors keep making typos and making sentences incomprehensible and-
"Think we should get a new narrator?"
"In good time, WG... in good time." Fanatic replied.
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A/N: And that's JUST the beginning! :D
Readers: No duh! It's the first chapter!
T_T ...Okay, so as you can tell, we have a lot to go on this year, so lets hope we make it all worthwhile!
Now review, don't flame, and we'll see you in the next episode!