"Baby, please, im sorry! I didnt mean to hurt you!"
Again. Again i am leaning on my bedroom door crying wondering why I can't leave him. This man... This man is my tormentor, but I love him. Derrick, the most feared boy in highschool, scratch that, in this town, chose me to be his boyfriend. All I wanted to do tonight was congratulate his football victory but I must have made him mad again or said the wrong play. I know its not broken, but there will be another bruise on my side. But I still love him.
"Come on boo, just open the door. Let me kiss it better."
"Verry well Derrick." I open the door and quickly make my way to the bed. I know the routine now. He'll say he's sorry, he loves me, then proceed to 'Make Love' as he calls it. Surely this is not what love is... But I love him...
"Hay babe. Come here. Let me show you I love you."
He picks me up and places my arms around his neck. Then were settled on my bed with his head on my chest. I can feel him sliding his hands up my sides. It hurts. Im still healing from the last time. Hes needing the skin there, in wich I can only assume is a way to express 'love'. If I tell him to stop, he will be shure my hips are bruised. Put on a smile, it will be over soon. He loves me.
My pants are gone, I can hear his hit the ground to. Hes saying the same thing he says every time. Can you be creative for once? When the 'I Love You' come out of his mouth, I settle. He must if he would let me hurt like this right? He pain in my ass is worse than the pain in my ribs. But he loves me, right?
An hour must have gone by now. Hes getting dressed. I glance at the clock and see it is 10:43 pm. Oh my, its been three hours. "Come on babe. Your going to walk me home. Ill be waiting downstairs, hurry up." He slaps my ass and leaves. When I here the stairs stop creaking, I let out a shaking breath. I cant cry, not yet. As I get dressed, all that plays threw my head is all the dates he has taken me to. The times he would tell Eddy he was going to a party and stay all night on the couch holding me. If this wasnt love, he wouldn't have done all of that right?
"What took ya so long? The little brats going to give me hell when i show up for being so late." He approaches me and snakes an arm around my waist, squeezing a bit to hard that I let out a pained yelp. "What? You still sore? Get over it! I said I was sorry! God your such a disappointment. Ha! At least your a good fuck!"
Were walking to his and Eddys house now. He's bragging about his football games as though he is a god... A disappointment? Surely one who loves someone would not say that? They wouldnt verbally attack them every time they messed up would they? I wish Mother and Father had been around so I could judge a relationship correctly. This couldn't be love when im left scared and covered in bruises could it?
"Ill see you later babe! Tell squirt your goodnights and get your ass back home." He kisses me hard and yells for Eddy. "Hay Sockhead! Wow... Haha have fun with my bro? You look like a train hit you!" No Eddy, just your brother... This Is Not Love.
"Eddy, could you tell Derrick to come back for a moment?" He brings him back out and we walk to the end of the driveway. I have to do this. Grow a back bone Eddward, before he breaks yours!
"What daya want boo? Miss me already?" I push his hands off me and back away, earning a glair.
"You dont love me do you Derrick?" I receive a cold yes. "Why do you hurt me so deeply? Why am I the one that holds your hate if you love me. Why did it go from so good to so bad?"
"Edd, you need to shut your mouth and go home. We will deal with this tomorrow. Now go the fuck away."
"If You Truly Loved Me, You'd Be Fighting For Me! ALL YOU HAVE TOLD ME IS LIES!" I hear a door slam but it doesn't matter.
"Your so fucking stupid. Your a good fuck, thats is. You dont complain or ask questions! Looks like you need to be taught a lesson!" He cracks his knuckle and walkes twords me. I cry out as his fist swings, but the pain I've grown use to is vacant. Instead there an arm coming over my shoulder and grabbing his hand. "No Derrick. You will learn the lesson. "
I gasp at the sound of Kevins voice. Thats explains the door slam. I turn around, shocked to see him without his hat and shirt. My oh my he shure is handsome. He has a baseball bat in one hand. This can not be good.
"Dork, come here." Kevin is holding out his hand, fingers wiggling at me. I walk twords him and take his hand. When he pulls me to his hip, I can hear my hear beating profoundly and a gurnt come from Derrick. Kevin smirks at Derrick as he rubs my cheak. Why is he so gentle with me? Oh!
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING! GET YOUR NASTY LIPS OFF MY TOY! I SWA-"
I hear a loud snapping sound and feel Kevin jerk a small bit, but I cant bring myself to look. This softness is somthing ive never experienced before. But all to soon its gone. The sounds of Kevin and Derrick fighting are lost in the air as I look up at the sky and touch my lips. The only thing I could register from there chants was 'I love him, you just fuck him' from Kevin... He... He loves me?
I have no idea what happened but now im sitting in the police station with Kevin and Derrick in hand cuffs. Keving is being fingerprinted as Derrick finishes his mug shots. This will be his third offense along with violation of probation. I know I wont see him for a while, but Kevin, oh no!
"Sir! SIR! Why is Kevin in trouble!?" I grab an officers arm as I begin to cry.
"Son, you were there and you can see the other boy now, he will be going to jail for assault. He beat this boy with a bat for no reason!"
"No Sir! Please! Dont take him away! He was protecting me! Derrick is-was my boyfriend but I was breaking up with him. He was going to hit me again bu-"
"Again?"
"Yes sir. But before he could hit me Kevin stopped him. What Kevin has done to him is nothing less than what he has done to me! Kevin must have seen what was happening from his window, I never told anyone about what was happening. I thought it was my fault. Please dont take Kevin away from me! Please! He," I lowered my voice. "he saved me..."
The officer walked to the man who was taking Kevins pictures and said somthing. I looked over at Kevin, rubbing my eyes, and saw that he was smiling at me. There was a heat coming onto my cheaks but I quickly forced it down as a tall skinny man came over to me wih the officer.
"Excuses me, but do you have proof of being abused? The man said he did no such thing. Im sorry to ask but we need to be shure."
I sigh and ask to be taken to a private room. When we enter, I start taking off my clothes as I tell them what all I can remember. When nothing but my boxers are left, the camera comes out, with my permission of course. I tell them if I was given a rag I could show them my face. They told me I need not worry. That when it goes to court to not wair make up and the proof would be there. I appreciate this, my face is rather embarrassing...
About an hour later they released Kevin to me after telling us are court date and that Derrick would not be released and if he was I would be informed. Kevin managed to get off with nothing after a call to my father.
We were dropped off at my house by a polite officer. Kevin told me he was not leaving my side when I tryed to tell him good night. He made me dinner, ran me a bath, and even held a conversation with a smile about Jim! Its so nice, mabye this is love? I freeze at the thought. No, love is not real.
"Edd? Are you ok?"
"Kevin? Why did you save me?" his smile widens and he sits on my bed next to me.
"Because, you dont deserve that, any of it. You left your window open one night and I heard everything. ive seen everything sence then to. Edd I care about you alot. I was going to ask you out and I had told everyone at school, then the next day he asked you. I know your going to think im crazy, but I want you to jump right back into a relationship. A real one this time. One with someone that truly loves you."
"Loves me?" Loves me... Love? Its not real! No!
"Yes Edd, I love you! Let me prove it to you. I stopped bullying you and ignored you all together because I couldnt accept that I loved a nerd and a guy at that. Nazz snapped me to my scenes though. But it was to late. If I had been first, you wouldnt have been hurt like this. Im sorry I didnt do anything sooner. Im sorry you had to keep this all to yourself. I want you to go out with me. I want to show you what love is, what real love is. I swear I wont hurt you. I want you to love me back like I love you Edd. Will you please be mine?"
"Say it again..."
"I love you."
"Again..."
"I. Love. You."
This is crazy.
"Fine... But please act like your self from now on... I like you, the real Kevin... Promise me youll say it every day ok?"
Keving pulls me into a soft hug and kisses me.
"I promise I will. But I will be cheesy untill your sick to your fat brain! I want you to be smothered in love forever by me! You aint getting out of that! I love you Eddward Vincent!"
Kevin loves me, he shows me every day. I guess love is real. Im glad I went threw hell to find him. I appreciate him. I care about him. He is my dream. He is my life. I love him.
if you or anyone you know is involved in an abusive relationship, please work up the courage to talk to someone. You are all beautiful and deserve the best! I can give you the websites that helped me if you ask. Have a lovely day.