I DON'T OWN TRANSFORMERS (IT BELONGS TO HASBRO) OR ANY OF THE MENTIONED BRANDS/RECOGNISABLE CHARACTERS - OCs ARE MINE

I know that this format has been used about a billion times, but hey - I was bored and decided to try my hand at it!

It's based in a Movieverse AU (with Animated elements) in which Sari Sumdac (again, from TFA) had accidentally ended-up at NEST's base; I probably won't explain the whole backstory in this fic, but hopefully it's easy enough to follow - Enjoy!

UPDATE 7TH JUNE 2014 - I tried to check-up on this story earlier today and noticed that it had been completely wiped off the face of the planet - there is no trace of it on this website anymore. So after some frustrated growls, I've decided to re-upload it

Thanks to all of my previous reviewers - please review this one too!

The Technorganic girl whacked the human computer monitor with her hand in frustration; being from the future (albeit in another universe), she was used to hyper fast computers, and these ones seemed rather primitive to her.

"Is this thing on?"

Finally, Sari Sumdac managed to reboot the already ageing computer, and began her lengthy task.

Right, Sari Sumdac signing-in for my task *ahempunishment*. Seems that this universe's Prowl is as keen on rules as the Twins are on pranks, hence my challenge of compiling this list of rules and regulations that both humans and Autobots on the NEST base need to abide by (for their own good). Fun.

It's really struck me in my time here that the bots here have loads of similarities to my bots back home, so it's been really funny to see how these bots that I think I know react to everyday happenings here in Autobot Central! That being said, I was never subjected to this kinda thing back home - groundings, sure, but not being forced to write a whole bunch of rules against my will!

Anyway, I doubt Prowl would appreciate this introduction, so here goes!

#1 Don't impersonate bots

(We were all kinda stuck on what to do for April Fools' Day, and Mikaela came-up with this gem: dressing as the Autobots)

(We decides to only do subtle things, like copying only iconic parts of the bots)

(Sam went around with Optimus-like audio fins, Epps wore a miniature version of Prowl's visor, Leo wore a copy of Jazz's visor, I had Delta's doorwings, Mikaela wore only black and yellow, and Lennox had Ironhide's cannons etc...)

(We pretended that we didn't know what they were talking about when they asked us what we were doing. As a result, pretty much all of the bots ran examinations on themselves to check that their optics weren't malfunctioning)

(Needless to say, the Autobots were speechless)

(Some found it cute)

(Some found it creepy)

#2 The following movies are banned indefinitely:

1. ET

(As 'ETs' themselves, they WILL constantly quote it)

(Bee was making a comm call back to base, and all we could hear in the background was 'ET phone home!')

2. Titanic

(Delta refused to talk to Prowl for 3 days after the ban)

(Mind you, it does have a habit of reducing ancient, battle-hardened aliens to blubbering messes)

('That music!')

3. Fast and Furious (and sequels)

(The younger bots WILL absolutely attempt those crazy stunts)

(And us teenagers WILL absolutely come along for the ride)

(The gears in my left knee still squeak...)

4. Twilight (and sequels)

(The Lambo Twins were convinced that Prowl was a vampire)

('But Sari, think about it: he's silent, really fast, and he sparkles in the sunlight!')

(Needless to say, Prowl found out. He played along, and even roped-in Delta, Elita and Optimus to pretend to have been 'turned' too!)

(Everyone else laughed about it, but I think Sides and Sunny are still suspicious...)

5. A Goofy Movie

(No comment)

(Except that it involved possums)

(And Sam's Donald Duck impression)

(And one creeped-out weapons specialist)

#3 Do not try to convince Bulkhead that rubber ducks work for Megatron and are ALWAYS WATCHING

(He didn't believe Bee at first)

(Until Wheeljack decided to make 'Ducky Cam' - a security camera hidden within Sam's old rubber duck collection)

(Needless to say, poor Bulky always looks over his shoulder when anyone refers to ducks)

(I think he may have developed Anatidaephobia)

#4 DO quote Johnny English

(Who knew the bots have a thing for British humour?)

('Pull yourself together, it's only a bit of poo!' - Ratchet, after Jolt fell over in a field. Eww...)

('You alright, Sunny?' 'Yes, I landed on something quite soft' 'That was me, Sunny' 'Ah. Good' - The Lambo Twins after falling down an old mine)

('My fragrant Cybertronian AFT you're not!' - Delta after a rather stressful meeting with Galloway and co. I high-fived her for that)

('Arrest that mech, and lock him away!' the look on everyone's faces when Prowl said this to an apprehended Bee was priceless!)

#5. Do not, and I repeat, do NOT alter the bots' holoforms!

(The femmes decided to get revenge on their mates and friends)

(They were chased for miles!)

(But we still have the tapes. Sweet blackmail...)

#6 Humans, take great care when trying to pronounce Cybertronian

(Oh Sam...)

(I was informed of his previous attempts. This one was not much better)

('How do seats talk to the Seeker?' and 'Do you like to smell Jazz's underwear as much as I do?' are NOT valid greetings...)

#7 Humans and Autobots alike, please don't try to copy Jazz and Prowl's ninja moves

(It almost NEVER ends well)

(I would know - I've been trying to do it since I was 8)

(Still end-up on my butt)

#8 Don't leave Ironhide alone with Sam's dog, Mojo

(Turns out the guy holds a grudge)

(Judy Witwicky walked in to find 'Hide pointing one of his plasma cannons at the Chihuahua)

(She freaked and grounded Ironhide)

(Yes, Sam's mother GROUNDED a tough, cantankerous, ancient robot)

#9 Don't sell Prowl on eBay

(Scratch that - don't sell ANYONE on any online shop)

(Both sets of twins and Bumblebee, I'm looking at you)

(When he found out, Prowl made the Chevy Twins write a formal letter of apology to the rather irate woman who didn't get her Kawasaki Ninja...)

(She was NOT happy...)

#10 Don't give Leo sherbet

(He pretends that it's drugs)

(Yeeahhh, it was kinda awkward explaining to Ratchet that he wasn't ACTUALLY high)

(Ratchet now insists that he tests every suspicious-looking food that we bring to base now)

(Including strawberries)

(What's suspicious about strawberries?!)

Et voila! It's probably not that great, but oh well. I'll add new chapters whenever I get the inspiration for them. Bye!