Ok, so this has been on my mind for a while. something abot Felicty's character and lack of explanations of her past made me wonder what kind of past I could make her, and how it would affect her and the team.

I really hope you like it, and I just want to say - this is the first chapter, so I open it with a lot of angst and looking into the past and not much action in the present, so please be patient - it'll come! This will also definitely be an Olicity fic, so you can look forward to some action there too ;)

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

At night, when it's dark and I'm alone, I let myself think about her. In my own world I let myself cry, break down, feel the pain I harbor deep in my soul.

With the morning comes the sun, and with it light that fills the shadows. The pain is pushed down, in a way forgotten for a while, covered with smiles, laughter, and the bright colors I love so much. I open up to the warmth of the sun and the good people around me.

I think the reason I have so much belief in people, why I get so easily attached to them, is because I need to prove that my life does still have a purpose. I let myself have, love, and I hold on tightly to what I get.

But in the dark, I let go of everything. I draw back into the memories that will always haunt me. I know they will never leave me – but as long as I can keep them under the surface, I know can live my life.

"Oliver, get out of there, now!" Felicity hissed furiously, watching with barely contained panic as the guards rounded the corner and positioned themselves next to the door he was currently behind, ready to barge in. "There are too many of them, you can't fight all of them. Oliver please, get out before you get hurt."

"Felicity-"

"No! You need to get out now. You have less than a minute. Don't be stupid, please, get out. We have all the proof we need."

She watched as he walked up to James Sanders' limp form, grabbing his shirt and yanking him up violently so they were face to face, "you are never going to touch any girl like that again, understand me? You will regret your actions," he growled, and then he tossed him back onto the floor. He turned to the window, jumping out and away from the range of the security cameras Felicity had been watching the fight through.

"He just had to add that last line there, didn't he? Couldn't just leave him there and go, right?" she muttered, amused if still worried about him.

"I can hear you, Felicity," he reminded her, and she made a face at Diggle who was sitting next her, chuckling. "Why don't you head home?" Oliver asked, "I'm not hurt, and you seem tired. We're done for the night, no need for you to stay there."

"You sure?" she asked, chewing the inside of her cheek. To be honest, she didn't want to leave. She loved the fact that she got to spend so many night working. It took her mind off everything else, and kept her away from the nightmares that plagued her every few nights.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go, sleep a little." She looked at Diggle for assurance, and when he smiled encouragingly she nodded, getting up and stretching.

"Ok then," she said, "Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess. I mean – I know, cause… I mean where else would I be, right? Anyways-" she took a deep, calming breath, "goodnight."

"Goodnight, Felicity," Oliver said, sounding amused. She rolled her eyes and took out her earpiece, setting it down on her desk.

She turned to Dig, already in the process of putting her coat on. "Bye Dig! See you tomorrow!" he waved back, smiling warmly.

"Bye, Felicity. Call if you need anything."

"You know I will," she answered, winking, and started up towards the stairs, doing her best to ignore the growing pit of dread in her stomach as it setteled down, weighing her down as she walked away.

An hour later, sitting in her comfortable pajamas on her couch and eating a slice of pizza, she found herself wanting to go back to the foundry and to Oliver. She needed it, needed the safety they provided, especially on a night like this. Outside her closed windows and curtains a storm raged, thunder rolled, and lightening cracked. She hated nights like these. They were especially difficult, and usually brought up the worst nightmares.

A flash of lightning outside caused her to jump, and against her will she was sucked back into that night, her mind conjuring the last picture she ever saw of her. Drenched brown hair, turned dark with the water and the blood. Big blue eyes, staring up at her in pain and shock. Small pale hands, reaching out for her, covered in blood and dirt, and then falling limp and cold to the flooded pavement.

With a gasp Felicity came back to reality, clutching the couch cushion tight to her chest and blinking hot tears out of her eyes. Her hands were shaking, the pizza now on the floor, and her head spun. If she closed her eyes she knew she would hear the steady patter of the rain outside, just like that night. If she opened them, she knew she would see the flashes of lightning slicing through the dark night, just like they had then. If she reached out her hand, she knew she would feel the emptiness, the cold, stretching out across her shaking palms as she attempted to hold on to her, so save her, and failed again.

With a shuddering breath she stood up, grabbed the pizza of the floor, and headed towards the kitchen. The thoughts swirled in her head, unwanted, the questions of what if, why and how.

In the months following that night she had been empty, a shell. She walked with no purpose, ignoring all safety and precaution, going out into the dark streets of Vegas late at night and daring any guy to try and touch her. She agreed to anything, spending money on worthless things and forgetting to buy what was important. That was how she found herself one day, sitting in an overheated tent with an old woman inspecting her hand curiously.

"You have suffered a great loss," the woman said in her raspy voice, turning her hand over and running her bony fingers over the lines in her skin. 'Yeah, no shit,' Felicity had thought, but didn't draw her hand away. "It was a hard night, one that left scars that will not heal for many years," the woman continued, bringing her sunken grey eyes to Felicity's. "On a night like the one that lost you what you cared for most you will get it back. On a night like that one, your scars will heal. Wait for it, and do not despair. Your life will be hard, but it will be good." Felicity just rolled her eyes. As impressive as that sounded, she probably used that line on almost all the fools who spend their money on her ridiculous advice. Then she had walked away, determined to never think about it again.

But now, eight years later, she did. She remembered that way her eyes had flashed as she spoke. "On a night like that night." The words were ringing in her head, flashing before her eyes, and she shook her head violently to get rid of them. She was so lost in her thoughts, at first she failed to notice the soft knocks on her door.

Still shaking almost uncontrollably, she walked up to her door, took a deep breath to center herself, and pulled it open.

Her whole world stopped.

Her eyes registered the damp brown hair, hanging off the slim white face. The big blue eyes stared out at her, broken, a terrifying shadow of the eyes that plagued her dreams almost every damn night. She felt like she was drowning, her hand fell from the doorway to her side, hanging limply. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible. But it was there, the proof standing right in front of her.

"Mina?" she whispered brokenly, "How are you here?"

And here it really starts...

Let me know what you thought and if I should continue this!

Love you all :)