sunshine

...

A sigh escaped her chapped lips as a droplet of water hit her nose for the umpteenth time that surprisingly cold summer day. She was returning home after a rather easy mission to find and disarm a bunch of thieves who call themselves The Shrinks. It was a stupid name, but, apparently, the reason why they were so hard to capture was because they could make themselves super tiny. Juvia just had to flood their hideout a bit to get them to come out and surrender.

"This is not Juvia's fault," she muttered under her breath, although there was nobody there. It was more of a habitual action, even if she hated to admit it. She had grown used to saying the rain wasn't hers over the years. Also, she didn't bring an umbrella; she hadn't felt the need in ages to carry one around all the time.

"Juvia swears, it isn't her," she mumbled again. Perhaps it was to assure herself that the rain was perfectly natural. Or maybe it was for the little kids who just ran past her screaming, whining about how the sudden shower ruined their fun.

One of them even stopped to talk to her.

"Hey there, lady," she said, twirling a lock of her golden brown hair with her pudgy finger, "Do you like the rain like me? Because I love it! I can play all day in it! But sometimes I get sick... I bet you don't though! You're a Fairy Tail mage, and I saw you in the Grand Magic Games!"

Another kid had overheard that statement and quickly retorted, "Oh puh-lease, Juney, she's a strong mage! Of course she won't get sick! Stop wasting her time! And no one likes the rain!"

The girl then looked ashamedly from her to the ground, and her brown eyes shone with tears she seemed itching to shed.

"But we will, if we don't get out of this stupid rain!" The other child added, grabbing onto Juney's fat arm, and pulling her away.

Things had happened so quickly Juvia barely realized that the kids had filed away and she was standing in the middle of the rain, soaked and wet and alone. She sighed again.

She thought of the little girl's, Juney's, question.

Did she like the rain?

The answer was, obviously, no.

It was because of the rain that she barely have any friends growing up. It caused her so much misery, so much loneliness for a great part of her young life. It made her feel unwanted because, in a way, she was. She was the rain and the rain was unwanted, shunned away by others.

She was brought back to the days when the rain haunted her, how people hated when she was there. She often lapsed back into her current state, when she was alone with just her thoughts as company.

"Juvia will always be a gloomy Rain Woman, won't she?" She wasn't expecting anyone to answer, because that's how it used to be. She would talk, and no one would listen. That was how she lived for years.

She wished, though, that things were different, that she had grown up like the little girl, Juney. She wished that she could've enjoyed the rain, enjoyed her childhood. She wished she able to play with the kids at the orphanage, and that she had made friends.

She wished that she was loved.

She was now, though, because she had nakama. But she often wondered how it would have turned out if she hadn't sought refuge in Fairy Tail, if she hadn't battled with Gray, if the skies were never cleared.

Her ocean-blue eyes looked skyward to the grey mass overhead, a sad smile on her pale face. "Juvia would've been so gloomy if she hadn't joined Fairy Tail, wouldn't she?" She let out another sigh.

"Yeah, you would," then all of a sudden, a deep voice she knew so well came, morphing her sigh into a gasp.

"G-G-Gray-sama?" she squeaked.

"Hey, there," he lazily waved.

"Why is Gray-sama h-here?"

He chuckled, "I was about to go home and then I saw you."

"O-oh, Juvia sees," she mumbled.

"So, anyway, yes, you would," he said as he stuffed his one hand in his pocket.

She looked puzzled for a moment, and asked what he meant. Her mind had been muddled by his sudden appearance, and his sort of half-nakedness.

Again, he laughed, and ruffled his hair with his hand. "Your question. Yeah, you would be gloomy."

That's what he meant, Juvia thought. A weight fell onto her chest, and for some odd reason, she had a hard time breathing.

"But luckily, you're not sad and gloomy," he added almost nonchalantly, like he didn't realize how much his words meant to her. He put his hands together and, with his magic, fashioned an umbrella big enough for the both of them. "Because you have us. You have friends that care. You have a family."

She did, didn't she? In a way, she had family, no matter how dysfunctional they were.

A smile found its way to her face.

"Thank you, Gray-sama," she said. For the umbrella and for the stopping the rain the day we met.

"No problem," he said.

They walked together in surprising silence, with only the steady pitter patter of the rain against the pavement.

"Gray-sama?" Juvia said, wringing her delicate white hands together.

He focused his black eyes on her, eyebrows raised in silent question.

"Can J-Juvia ask you something?"

"Sure," he made a non-committal gesture with his shoulders, "Go ahead."

She inhaled sharply, and said, "When you think of J-Juvia... what do you... what do you think?"

There was a pregnant silence between them, and the longer it grew, the more apprehensive Juvia became.

Did Juvia ask the wrong question?

She was prepared to hear the worst, for him to say that he thought of gloomy things, and the rain, and storms and creepy stalkers. Instead, he replied:

"Sunshine," he started. "When I think of you, I think of sunshine."

Her eyes widened in disbelief, until gradually they softened and a very small smile curved her lips.

Sunshine, huh?

notes: i regret nothing.

[revised and edited on June 2, 2014]