"So what're you gonna do after this?"

It should've been a simply question really. But, to Nepeta it held much more meaning and conversations than just a straightforward answer the human next to her expected. For the question posed many meanings to the cat like troll. It had been the question that was asked numerous times for the last school year. Most kids at her school were human and were going to college after the summer ended to begin a more formal education. A few were going to stay local and hold onto their part time jobs, which Nepeta figured was normal for them. But Nepeta wasn't human nor did she have a part time job. Not many places were willing to hire a troll at this point in the game, afterall. Besides, she did help out at the clinic more often than not.

"I dunno, I kinda would like to be a ranger or something at a national park." She turned to the guy that sat next to her at the ceremony. "I know that a lot want me to go and try one of the colleges, make a difference and all that, y'know?" The human nodded in understanding. "But school hadn't really ever been my thing. I'd rather play with animals or walk in a forest over just reading texts about history that isn't really in my culture."

And that was true. Over the last thirteen or so years (had it really been that long?!), Equius would constantly have to hound her about working on her homework or her studies. And even then, it was hard for her to focus. Eventually, she was started on a reward system as a child. For every day she finished her homework, she would get to put a sticker on her chart. Once the chart was full she could turn it in for a prize-a toy, a dinner out, or she could go somewhere like the aquarium or zoo. Weird as it may have been at the time, it continued throughout her middle school and even after that, her high school career. Equius offered to find another way to help her get her work done, but she liked the system and continued to keep it.

Nepeta's attention refocused as the principle of the school went up to the microphone on stage. Most of the students still talked amongst themselves, even after he cleared his throat in the microphone and called them to silence. After every student (more or less) had settled down, he smiled and began the ceremony. He began the normal high school graduation speech, how proud he was of all the students and how he enjoyed the years with all of the kids in the audience. She resisted the urge to flatout roll her eyes (Equius would kill her if he saw her disrespect her principal like that) and instead continued to wander in her thoughts. Despite the man not even knowing who majority of the student body was or even what color blood she had, the man was nice. And it had been a challenge to get into different schools over the years. It had been an interesting few years for her at this school. A lot of public high schools continued to discriminate and forbid trolls from attending, but this school was special and welcomed her and the others with open arms. And even better, it kept her throughout all three years she attended there.

A few kids had bullied her in the beginning, mostly for her tail. They tried to call her a broken toy (or worse) but she simply brushed it off. At this point, Nepeta was well aware of what her tail had looked like and she was very accustomed to all the names and teasing she would receive probably the rest of her life-however long that may be. At first, she was tempted to get into a fight with them but she knew that it would've destroyed all those stupid lessons Equius drilled into her about self control and how to control your rage (which in Nepeta's opinion, he was being very hypocritical!). But another part of it was that she didn't want to go back to work on the therapy she had achieved over the years.

She had gone to the therapist Cronus went to (and still goes to every now and then when the need arises) and while it had taken quite a while for her to see any improvement, it was there and she was glad. More than glad, she was ecstatic! She had thought that she would always wake up in the nights, screaming at her fears coming to life, or that she'd continue to have panic attacks every time that she was left alone in an unfamiliar place. She was very reluctant at first to do anything of the sort. She didn't think that she really needed therapy, so when Equius had told her where they were, she...overreacted a bit. Nepeta was so stubborn that she refused to leave the car at all. The therapist, the name escaping Nepeta's guilty mind at the moment, had gone out to the car and shared their first appointment together there in the backseat of Equius's car.

Nepeta smirked at the memory and huffed a puff of air out of her nose in a laugh. She was an interesting child, that was for sure.

It had taken years for her to relearn everything once she had returned and recovered enough to stay conscious for more than a few hours at a time. The list was painfully long, even looking back: How to read, how to speak without cursing, how to not fight anything that upset her, you name it. In the end, her recovery was going to lead her to a life in a wheelchair. Equius wasn't able to quite figure out how to allow her to walk without balance issues and was worried sick about it (she knew he stayed up all night sometimes, too anxious to sleep). But her story had been posted on their small facebook page, begging and pleading for somebody to submit advice on what to do then. And luckily, some students at a bioengineering college had heard their pleas and answered the call.

And here she was today with a brand new tail. Granted, it was super obviously fake, but that was okay. She knew she would have to go and get it checked out and/or maintenanced with Equius every couple of months and there was no problem with that. Actually, Equius was very interested in the tail and had begun to learn everything about it so he could help her again without the aid of others. He actually took a lot of interest in that and had begun to work more and more with mechanics than ever before, even beginning to build successful robots that could move on their own accord.

Everything in the last couple of years was all thanks to Equius and Feferi.

Nepeta leaned over her chair and glanced around the audience for her favorite moirail and their group of friends. Once she spotted them, she waved to them. Of course, Equius was focused on the principal, who was still speaking, but Karkat waved back at least. He never failed to disappoint her (though he did turn her down for another troll when she confessed her love to him. But that was an entirely different story that was best left unsaid. The Striders and Equius still would butt heads over how it was handled at times) and she appreciated their friendship everyday. In the seat right next to Karkat was her moirail, looking uncomfortable as hell in his attire for today. Her moirail was dressed in a suit for once and seemed pretty emotionally content with it, which took her by a great deal of shock. The last time he wore a suit was for Feferi.

Oh Feferi….

Nepeta lost her smile and turned forward once again, her face scrunched with a brief flash of longing. The bright and cheery human had met her end about seven years back, when Nepeta was about eleven years old. She remembered being woken up in the middle of the night by the shouts Equius gave when the police showed up at their door. Nepeta still wasn't quite sure about all the details- she was too young for the full explanation- but she knew it was bad enough that the coffin was nailed shut at the funeral and she never got to say goodbye to Feferi's face.

Equius was devastated.

She wouldn't ever tell him this, or admit it to even Karkat, but Equius had really scared her. During his depression phase of his mourning, he'd stay in his room and wouldn't come out for days. The Strider brothers had come over and took her back to their home for a while, having Cronus watch the trolls while the humans had helped Equius out. It had taken a few days, and by that point, Nepeta was tired of being in a constant state of worry for her moirail. She was tired of just waiting for a quick phone call from one of the brothers, briefly telling her that he was okay then leaving her with nothing else. She was tired of worrying that she'd end up without him in her life or worse. She was especially scared that something like….before would happen again.

So she went to him. Like before, she walked her way from House A to House B without telling anybody. This time, however, she was able to successfully make it by herself and pounded on the door the moment she walked up to her porch. As soon as Dirk had opened it, she ran in and found her Equius sitting on the couch, head in his hands with his curtain of a hair hiding his face. Dave was trying to talk to him above him, worry etched onto his face even with the glasses on. She almost shoved Dave aside as she pounced on her moirail, sending both of them back into the couch's plush cushions.

She knocked the breath out of him, she knew and didn't care, and just hugged him. She nuzzled her head into his neck and just closed her eyes. Nepeta's hands were wound tightly in his hair and refused to let go, even when he didn't respond for a full minute. She remembered how hesitantly he hugged her back after that awkward pause. She knew it worked though, of course it did- she was his moirail for a reason. As soon as he wrapped his muscular arms around her, he brought her closer to his chest and just let all his tears out then and there. They must've been on that couch for an hour straight, him just rocking the two of them as she held on as tightly as she could've, afraid to let go.

It was the scariest part of her life, even more when she was in that part of her life. And the more she thought about it over time the clearer the reason why became: She was scared when she had to fight other trolls and take their life, sure. She was terrified when she was told she'd be going up against Gamzee. Hell, she was petrified. But none of that compared to the moment when she thought that she would lose Equius. Feferi was hard enough, but she couldn't, wouldn't, lose him too.

And so it was. She finally felt like she was helping him along just as much as he was helping her. He would help control her and would never allow her to act out again, with the exception of the occasional panic attacks, and helped protect her in the earlier years. And before Feferi died, she would always cheer him up after a bad day. She felt like she couldn't do much of anything else for him since Feferi could handle all the grown up stuff for him. Afterwards? She became his anchor. She would always know when and how to cheer him up, how to be held as he sobbed in the middle of the night, you name it.

It was meant to be.

Nepeta smiled to herself as she thought about that. In the back of her mind, she was able to register that the row of students she was sitting with were beginning to stand and move towards the front of the stage. With a jolt and a bigger grin, she too got up and trotted over with her classmates, tail swinging every step of the way.

When the principal called her name from the podium, he stumbled across it and pronounced her last name wrong, but that's okay. Equius at least knew what he was trying to say and wouldn't say a word against him in the end, no matter what Nepeta tried to say against him. Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears and she felt every eye in the stadium focus on her. There were only three trolls in the entire school (there used to be five with Karkat and Sollux, but they graduated way before Nepeta could even think of the word graduation) and she was the only one who walked the stage today. Finally, Nepeta got her diploma in one hand and shook the principal's hand with the other, she glanced up at Equius and saw him standing up in the stands with the biggest, proudest, grin on his face. And all at once, she knew it was all worth it.

"Really, Nepeta. We can find a college that will accept you and have a program you're interested in."

"No, Equius. We've already had this talk, like, a hundred times over!"

"I'm very well aware of that, but you haven't expanded your horizons, you could find an amazing job you'll love with a salary to match. You like animals, surely you could do something with that? Have you thought of something such as a zoologist or perhaps a trainer? Or maybe you could become a caretaker of them-."

"Liiiiike you?" She smiled over at him and stuck her tongue out. "I was basically raised in a vet's office, Eq."

Equius snorted and twitched his lips in an upward smile for a second. "Hmph. One would think that you would have liked to work in a clinic since that is indeed the case at hand."

Nepeta stopped packing her clothes in a box and looked up at him. He was standing in her doorway, leaning was probably the better word for him at this point though, and was watching her almost with pleading eyes. Actually, no. His eyes were pleading. They were pleading with her for the thousandth time for her to stay with him. Neither wanted to leave the other, or in Equius's case, let her go. But she was right about having this talk for the hundredth time and they both knew it. He desperately wanted her to go to college and earn a degree so she would be making the "big bucks" and would be able to take care of herself.

Nepeta knew that she would be able to take care of herself anyway that she wanted. Whether it be in the big city, a smaller town in the suburbs where she was raised, or even out in the wilderness. Thanks to a few years training to fight, she knew how to take down animals much larger and heavier than her. Throughout her life she continued to train-whether it was because it was simply instilled in her or the nerves, she didn't know, but she just wanted to be prepared for anything.

So, with a small knowing smile on her face, she stood up and opened her arms. Equius blinked heavily a few times and walked over to her, closing the distance with a hug. She never grew past his mid chest, so hugs like these were always comical at the least and (all the same) heartwarming. Equius's muscles tensed all around her before they completely relaxed and his frame surrounded hers. "I'm going to miss you so, so much, Nepeta. More than you could ever imagine."

She sighed and shook her head against his chest. "No, I think I have a pretty good idea about how this is gonna feel, but we both know that the ranger station has empty rooms and they're gonna pay me to live on site. It's the best deal we have." She looked up at him and smiled sadly. After a second or two of them just looking into the other's eyes, Nepeta stood up on her toes and bumped her horns against his jaw. He chuckled and ran his hand through her hair (still cut short like she liked it).

"You know," his voice had that tone that it took when he was thinking of Feferi. It was like calm water after a storm, peaceful yet remorseful, as if he were still in mourning of what he had lost. For all Nepeta knew, he could very well still be. "I still remember taking care of you as an egg."

Nepeta pushed back against his chest. "You sound like an old, creepy, man when you say sh...stuff like that."

He raised an eyebrow at her slip up, but continued on with a smirk on his face. "You were almost as big as a good potato and-"

"Are you calling me a potato?!" She laughed and bounced on her toes. "I'm totally not a potato!"

"No, you are a silly, obnoxious troll who insists on doing whatever she pleases." Equius laughed and slowly, his smile decreased in size. "Feferi would've been really proud of you, you know." He took a deep breath and sat down next to a pile of boxes. He looked over the edge of one of them and pulled out a small stuffed cat that managed to survive these years just as well as Nepeta. "She was so proud of how you were turning out. She would talk about you all the time at the clinic to the animals who just had surgery to help comfort them or whatever she had planned in her mind."

Nepeta watched as his eyes glazed over with a broken heart. She sat down next to him and let her head rest on his shoulders. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. His hand sprang to life and the two simply let their hands play with each other. Equius sighed heavily and looked around the room. What was once a child's room with a stubborn little troll was now filled with boxes and some suitcases. Even the infamous pile where Nepeta and Equius would often nap together was packed away.

"How did time pass so quickly, Nepeta?"

"You know that they say the older you are, the faster time goes?" She didn't feel him respond and he didn't say anything so she continued. "You must be pretty old."

He shoved against her affectionately. "And yet, you are still a brat." He rested his hand on her head, right between her horns. "How am I going to get on without you?"

"Well, you got the clinic and the Strider's to take care of now that they have an empty nest too." It was true, Sollux now worked at a large computer industry and was sharing an apartment with Karkat who was working a part time job at a local store while he attended college.

"Yes, but they are not my meowrail."

It was Nepeta's turn to take a deep breath and look at him with glazed over eyes at the sound of her childhood nickname for him. "You can come with me," she whispered. "We can share a room and you could work with all the animals there in the wild who get hurt. We can make it work, Equius, really, we could!"

It took him a few seconds to gather his thoughts to respond. "You know that my place is with the clinic, and yours is wherever your feet take you. Besides, we're going to call every night and talk about our day to each other." He ran his hand through her hair again and sighed. "And if you think you could get away from doing that then you're even crazier than I thought." She giggled and he continued. "You can't ever get away from me, little one."

"Like I'd want to….except maybe the smell. You do smell. Like, a lot."

He shook his head with a smirk. "Still Nepeta after all these years."

A moment of silence fell over them. The only movement in the room was their breathing, almost synched, and Nepeta's tail twitching.

"If anything goes wrong, Nepeta. No matter if it's just at the park or later in life, my home is always welcome to you. My door will always be open for you, don't think otherwise."

She purred and closed her eyes. Equius thought it was just because she was happy and content in the moment, but really….Nepeta didn't want him to see her cry. She had to do this and if he saw her cry, their feels jam instincts would take over again and she couldn't handle that right now. It would've made leaving impossible for her.

"Always, Equius."

Nepeta tapped her foot against the floor in a cafe anxiously.

It had been twenty years from that point in her life when she first had left her home with Equius. The park had been a blast and it was thrilling to be able to track down animals and record them to count for the animal numbers. She had been able to do so much more there than she ever would've thought and had been paid a sufficient enough, but once she heard Equius was sick she dropped all of that to take care of him. He argued of course, he didn't want her to put her life on hold for just him, but she shushed him whenever he got whiny like that. He was worth that to her, he was worth so much more to her than that.

She sighed. She hoped that Feferi was taking excellent care of him, because she desperately didn't want to think otherwise.

For the last year, she had been living in the wild. She was mostly living within the park boundaries, protecting the animals from poachers or otherwise. She had found this mountain lion that was pretty awesome and had even came to terms with Nepeta living in her territory. The park rangers were well aware of her situations and would normally update her if anything big was going on. Usually it wasn't anything worth tracking her down and telling her a quick message, but this time was different.

Apparently one of her friends had posted on their facebook page Equius's quick overview during his lifetime and somebody wanted to write a story on it. All she knew was that she knew him best so she would be the one to give the guy the most facts as she could (or was comfortable sharing).

…

But seriously where was this guy? It had already been twenty minutes since he said he'd be there. If he wasn't there in ten more minutes Nepeta figured she'd leave and head back to the park. At least there it didn't smell so strongly of coffee or humans. Though, at the same time, it was for Equius. If there was one thing Equius had tried to teach her, it was to be respectful and give whomever you're waiting on at least thirty minutes for traffic.

Just as she was thinking of this, and any other memorable life lessons her late moirail had taught her, a man burst through the doors. He was a stumpy looking man with a hat made out of straw. He wore a normal outfit, but his neon yellow jacket really made him stand out. He seemed nice enough, even if his big glasses made him look funny enough to laugh at. (Seriously, you could stick an entire dinner plate through those!) The man quickly scanned the cafe for any troll that fit Nepeta's brief description she gave him over email. As soon as he saw her, his entire face lit up and he made a beeline for her. He didn't even wait for the waitresses as he stumbled around the cafe, bumping into tables and annoying customers, muttering any apologies he had towards those who he bumped into.

She smiled warily at him and shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "Hi, are you-?"

"James Magi! You must be Nepeta, right?" He extended his hand towards her as he sat down across the table from her. "I heard so much about you and your caretaker that I couldn't help but want to write about it. Wait, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" Nepeta had squirmed a bit more in her seat and grimaced at the word 'caretaker.'

"Look, Mr. Magi….If you think that what Equius and I had was nothing more than what a normal human and his dog have then I'm afraid we can't do this."

"Oh." He sat up a little bit straighter, held his shoulders up a little bit higher. He looked like he was trying not to offend her and be respectful, which Nepeta appreciated. "No, no, of course not. I'm so very sorry, what would you like me to refer to him as?"

"He was so much more than a caretaker...referring to him like that feels like an insult to him. Especially after all those fights he went through just to make sure I had what I did." Nepeta looked out of the window next to them and sighed, lost in her memories. "He took care of me even before I hatched. He was there for me when I took my first steps, he searched for me every day I was gone, he even offered to pay for my college." She smiled over at the man across from her. "I remember that conversation very clearly, he was desperate for me to go on and make a name for myself but I was already content with who I was."

"So….do you want me to write him as a father figure?"

Nepeta laughed at that. She couldn't remember the last time she had truly laughed at anything, but that comment made Nepeta feel giddy all over again. Like a pet owner who was recalling something their pet did even after they died. Happy and excited, full of laughter at the event even years later, but...still sad because they know that those moments are gone forever.

"...No," she finally answered. "No, I think that he would've thought as him as a father figure in the beginning but as things went on…" She looked out the window again at the people passing by on the busy street. "As things went on, we changed each other for the better."

"Well then, Nepeta," she glanced back at him and saw he had a notebook and pen out. His face had turned from something of amusement to serious curiosity and interest. He was well prepared to listen. "Why don't we start at the beginning and go from there?"

She turned back to the window and sighed in nostalgia. Where to begin? Was it her first memory of chasing Equius or later perhaps when the story really began with her kidnapping? Maybe it was when she hatched? After all, that was when her life began. But if she was truly honest, it had started out completely different from all of those. "It had started with the Striders needing apple juice desperately," she smiled as she thought of the goofy family. "And on their way home they spotted something. On the side of the road was an small oval, green egg. It was lying in some watery leaves in the gutter..."