Author's Note: This is a mostly canon universe, starting immediately following the 74th Hunger Games, going until the start of their Victory Tour.

I woke up one morning with an alternate Peeta in my brain. Something of a Dark!Peeta, which is not how I've ever thought of him before.

The more I played with the idea, the more I thought that there might well be some of that, some of his mother in him, and that it wouldn't necessarily have taken a major change of events for it to make an appearance. This story is a slightly darker side of an otherwise canon Peeta, one who is still a good guy at heart. It's just that sometimes, being a nice guy isn't as easy as it looks.

Then I thought about Katniss. It's clear she has some of her mother's depression and withdrawal in her as well. What would it take for that to come out earlier?

And most of all, what would the two of them do about it?

A big Thank You to ct522 for her help and encouragement and editing assistance!

After the final Interview with Caesar Flickerman (74th Hunger Games)

The peacekeeper stops Katniss as she and Peeta leave the District 12 rooms in the Training Center. "Please come this way, Miss Everdeen. Your train will wait."

Peeta moves to follow, confused and worried about what is happening. Haymitch is fairly certain he knows what this is about, and he is also concerned. He convinces Peeta to proceed with Effie and drive to the train as planned, while he remains behind to accompany Katniss.

Katniss is escorted to an area of the Training Center where she has not visited before. It is much more formal than their living quarters, even lusher, if that is possible. She walks into the indicated room, and knows this is bad news. President Snow is not wishing her a fond farewell, not without Peeta with her.

The President is sitting in a chair on the far side of a formal wooden table with 5 more chairs next to it. Katniss looks around, but doesn't see anyone else in the room. President Snow indicates she should sit opposite him. "My advisors suggest that you may be planning trouble. I told them that a beautiful, sweet girl in love would do no such thing. Look how you volunteered for your sister. Someone who loves that deeply would remain completely dedicated to her young sweetheart, wouldn't she?"

Katniss nods. When he seems to be expecting more of an answer from her, she says "I just want to get back home. I'm not interested in causing trouble for anyone."

President Snow looks at her. "I'm very happy to hear that. Please take my best wishes back to Peeta, to your mother, to Prim, and of course, to all of your cousins". With that, she is dismissed, and she wastes no time leaving the room.

ooo

Sitting with Haymitch in the formal car with its tinted windows, on the drive to the train that will take them home, Katniss avoids thinking about most of the conversation she just had, and struggles to ask her mentor (carefully, there may be people listening) about one bit she doesn't understand.

"So, the President sends his best wishes to my cousins. I wouldn't have thought the Capitol would care about them."

Haymitch looks at her. Holding her gaze, he says "During the family and friends interviews when you made the final 8, your cousin Gale was quite popular. All of Panem knows how close the two of you are. I think that girls all over are falling in love with him and his handsome face."

That answer is so out of character that Katniss just stares for a minute before picking up Haymitch's hint. "Oh, I never thought about that. He's just my cousin and my good friend."

Haymitch nods, satisfied she's gotten the message. Katniss ponders her newly discovered relatives, and wonders how they (he) feel about this new status in her life.

On the train trip home

Katniss and Haymitch join Peeta and Effie on the train, which immediately heads off toward District 12. After settling into their rooms, Katniss and Peeta find each other in the compartment with the TV, although neither is interested in watching. Or talking. Both are overwhelmed with the knowledge that they are going home.

They sit quietly in each other's company, taking in the sounds of the train, simply enjoying the moment. It's not a time to celebrate their victory, or to worry about the past or the future. They both just need this time, which passes quickly enough when they are called to dinner.

Afterward, the four of them watch the recap of the interview, then one by one, they file off to bed. Being alone in their rooms gives them each time to think. Katniss and Peeta both wake up in a very different state of mind than they had been in the evening before.

Peeta is deliriously happy. He made it through the Games, and is returning home with Katniss at his side. His every dream has come true, and with that, he feels he can ignore the nightmares that linger just underneath the surface of his conscious mind.

Katniss is troubled and confused. She isn't sure how she is going to handle the collision of her worlds, the reconciliation of the reality of the two men she now considers her best friends. She doesn't know what kind of relationship she wants with either of them once she's in District 12. Under all of this lingers the nightmares of what happened in the Arena. The knowledge that she killed people. The image of Rue's death. The sight of the mutts chasing her and Peeta. All these things she wishes she never had to think about again.

Katniss knows that she doesn't want her relationship with Gale to change from what it was before she left. She just isn't sure it's possible for it to stay the same. Gale isn't going to be happy with her friendship with Peeta, with a merchant. She doesn't even want to think about what he'll make of the romance that he saw on the screen. There's a worry in the back of her head that Gale isn't going to accept her having a relationship (real or not) with anyone, but she pushes that aside. Things aren't like that between her and Gale. (But she wonders, does Gale expect them to be, someday? Is that what his talk about running away, about leaving the District, was indicating?)

And she doesn't know what to do about her relationship with Peeta. She likes him, becoming friends with him with a speed that she had never experienced before. Gale took much longer to earn her trust. Madge still doesn't entirely have it, and they've been sitting together at lunch for years. Although really, the boy with the bread started to gain her trust years ago. And Katniss comes back to the thought she never wanted to be anything more than friends with anyone. She acted otherwise to get through the games, and the more she did it, the more of it she felt. The closer she gets to home, the more she feels like the old Katniss. The one that never, ever wanted romance. With anyone. And feeling forced to pretend chafes more and more, overshadowing whatever feelings she might have developed.

She doesn't even examine what she might or might not have eventually wanted with Gale, if she ever relaxed her no-romance stance. Anything beyond friendship with him is off the table now, thanks to Snow and his implied threats.

ooo

At breakfast, Peeta notices her discomfort. He reaches for her hand and asks "Hey, what's wrong? What are you thinking about?"

Katniss takes his hand, but with more hesitation than he's used to. She won't look him in the eyes as she shakes her head, indicating she doesn't want to talk. Haymitch looks at the two of them and says "We'll be pulling in for one last fueling stop soon. Get your stuff together now, and the two of you can take a walk when we get there." They appreciate the option to get some air and to talk in private, and there isn't much to gather, so they wait quietly for the train to stop.

ooo

Katniss and Peeta hold hands as they walk down the tracks. Katniss wonders how this simple gesture, something she's never done with anyone else outside her family, can feel so alien and yet so comforting at the same time.

When they get past the train, out of any possibility of anyone hearing, Peeta repeats his question from earlier.

Katniss sighs, and tells him "I'm feeling confused about what happened in the Games, and what's going to happen when we get back."

This doesn't really help Peeta. He has very little confusion about what happened, and although he doesn't know exactly what their relationship will look like, he knows they will make it work. If they made it this far, what else can stop them? "I'm not sure what you mean, Katniss. What is there to be confused about?"

She hesitates when answering- words don't come easily to her. "I'm sorry, Peeta. I didn't understand what was happening… I don't know what's going to happen…" Even Katniss realizes she's not making any sense. She blurts out "I didn't know it was real." She knows this isn't enough, and tries desperately to find the rest of the words she needs, the ones that say that she meant some of it, once she figured out he meant it, that she did feel something, but it's too late.

Peeta isn't prepared for this answer, and the implications are devastating. He doesn't stick around long enough to work through where that leaves them. He's much better with words than she is, but he is in no frame of mind to use them. He simply turns around and walks back onto the train, leaving Katniss calling his name.

This turn of events leaves Katniss no less confused, but much more frightened. She hadn't even mentioned Snow, and wonders if she should have. And she doesn't expect the sadness she feels when Peeta leaves her side and she's not sure when (or if) he'll return.

ooo

As they pull into the station, Peeta is no longer happy, but he knows this would not be a good time to show it. He turns the smiles on as the train doors open. Katniss does the same. Both already miss the person next to them.

ooo

Haymitch knows something is happening with these kids, but he's been mostly sober too long to make the effort to figure out where things stand. He just wants to get home and get drunk enough to forget all the years he didn't bring any tributes home. He knows he should celebrate bringing home these two, but it seems to make his betrayal of all the other kids worse. He wonders exactly how long the cameras will hang around District 12, and if he can stay moderately sober that long, and if the girl can keep up her side of the deal until they are gone.

It never even occurs to him to worry about what Peeta will do.