Not Mommy Material

Hey. So here I am again, much sooner than I thought, with a bit of Jack and Miranda. This is a short taste of their lives after the end of the Reaper war. It is heavily linked to my FemShep/Liara, Jack/Miranda fic 'Stranded' so I recommend reading that first, which from all the lovely reviews I've received, I know many of you have :D

This hasn't been beta'd; I own all mistakes. I do love good grammar though, so any pointers are welcome!

More fluff was requested... I hope there's enough here to satisfy!

Jack was just as quiet on their return to the orphanage as she'd been when they left the biotic children there a few weeks ago. Miranda was doing her best to stay calm and provide the turbulent ex-convict some stability, but the weight of their recent conversations and the task they were there to perform today was not lost on her. She directed their borrowed shuttle to a make-shift landing pad half a kilometre from the dilapidated building.

Jack jumped out the second they touched down, being too restless to wait for Miranda to power down and cut the engine. She thrust both hands into her pockets, her shoulders tense as she began strolling towards the building.

Miranda watched her girlfriend for a moment from the cockpit. She was still amazed by how much the powerful young woman had matured since they'd first met. Sure, she had prolonged periods of behaving like a teenager and moping around or picking fights, but the times in between when they could sit and discuss things rationally were becoming more frequent. Even now as she allowed Jack her space to withdraw for a few minutes, she knew the other woman would be waiting for her by the entrance so they could face this challenge together.

Jack took note of the lack of rubble nearby and the scaffolding that had been erected to allow repairs to get underway and was reminded of how much work still had to be done to clean up the mess from the war.

In a strange way, the young biotic often reflected on her experience of the last couple of years and pictured two wars. The one that had the entire galaxy caught up in it and the one that had been waged inside of her. While Shepard had defeated the Reapers and even been the catalyst to help Jack with her own battles, the demons inside of her still reared their heads from time to time. The only comfort she had was that, when she felt helpless against them, she had someone she trusted around to help her through. With that thought, she turned and watched her lover approach.

Miranda strode the length of the landing area and sure enough found Jack waiting for her. The guards who'd been stationed there during their first visit had been recalled since the threat of attack had gone, which left the fierce looking biotic standing alone.

Miranda touched a hand gently to her lover's forearm, as much to reassure herself as the other woman.

"You'll be fine, Jack," she assured the nervous ex-con. "You're surprisingly good with children," she added teasingly.

Jack scowled but her amusement was betrayed by a small twitch at the corner of her mouth, "I hate kids," she grumbled unconvincingly.

Lawson tutted and rolled her eyes. "I'm way past believing that." She received a deeper scowl for her comment and simply raised a knowing eyebrow until the other woman finally gave in and huffed her annoyance.

"You are so going to ruin my rep," Jack complained.

"Oh really?" Miranda's arms folded across her body in response to the accusation. "I don't recall suggesting that you should watch your language or join the Alliance. And I believe you were the one who chose to spend so much time babysitting the children on the Normandy, no matter how much you complained about it or pretended that you were pressured into doing it. I also recall finding you spinning Penny around like you were two kids on a playground." She uncrossed her arms and stepped into jack's personal space, placing her hands on slim hops. "It was also your idea to come here today and do this," she reminded her gently.

Jack scoffed. "Like you're not thrilled to be here too, I heard you talking to yourself last night."

Miranda blushed and ducked her head momentarily. "I believe we were addressing your unfounded accusations regarding my actions affecting your crumbling reputation."

"Yeah? Unfounded?" Jack smirked. "We're practically cuddling in public." She pulled a dace, feigning displeasure. "I'm sticking to what I said and I'm blaming you for all the public displays of affection."

Their bodies drew closer together as each second passed. Jack pressed her lips against her lover's throat, not really kissing her but letting her touch linger as she resisted her building desire.

Miranda sucked in a quick breath and gently pulled away from her companion's tempting embrace. "Who stuck whose tongue down whose throat in front of half the Alliance brass after we arrived late for Shepard's awards ceremony?" She added to her defence.

Jack grinned unrepentantly; it had been fun seeing the reactions of the stuffy higher Alliance echelon. "Completely different, Babe. Sucking face is not in the same league as hand-holding and cuddling," she shivered as if she was talking about something horrifying.

"You mean like the cuddling you do in your sleep?" Miranda bit her tongue so she wouldn't laugh too much at the expression of utter revulsion on her lover's face.

"I do not," Jack insisted through gritted teeth.

Miranda raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. She kissed the indignant young woman on the nose before she released her and started inside.

Jack's mind lingered on her conversation with Miranda as she walked the halls of the orphanage in search of the Normandy's rescued youngsters; one in particular.

She had made the decision recently not to analyse her relationship with Miranda any more. each time she tried to figure out the whos and hows of their inexplicable connection, she drove herself mad with all the things that could go wrong and all the reasons why they couldn't possibly make it.

Miranda was making an effort to make Jack happy. The ex-Cerberus officer kept her hopes about the future to herself mostly, but what she didn't say with words she said with actions. The smiles that were often sent Jacks way; the efforts to accommodate Jack's whims (in and out of the bedroom); the space she gave Jack when she sensed that the young rogue was feeling suffocated and her willingness to support Jack with one of the toughest decisions she'd ever had to make, all told Subject Zero that Miranda had a stake in their future, whether she voiced her intentions or not.

The stairs took Jack up to the floor with the dormitories and common rooms. Bit by bit, the building was developing a welcoming and homier feeling as the owners poured their hearts into the rebuild. With the exceptional progress that was being made, Jack suspected that a certain information broker had become a recent sponsor and financial backer.

She was greeted by several children the moment she arrived on the first floor; one of the biotic kids spotted her and seconds later she was surrounded by eager faces, all wanting to know what she'd been doing and telling her things she already knew from recent news. She indulged their overt enthusiasm for more than ten minutes (as long as she could stand) before enquiring after Penny.

"Mute's always hiding; she never wants to play with anyone," a pretty nine year old said dismissively, as if the mousey recluse was not worth their time.

Jack suppressed the sudden urge to call the snide youngster all manner of apt but inappropriate names and ignored the knowledge that, had they been together in the same 'Summer Camp' growing up, she would have snapped her delicate little neck without a second thought. She was just a kid though and was no doubt dealing in her own way with the traumatic experience.

Instead she said, "Some people are worth taking the time to get to know," blocking off whatever the girl was going to add. "Don't any of you know where she'll be?"

A boy of about seven slowly lifted his hand in the air. Jack didn't recognise him from the Normandy but guessed that he'd figured out who they were talking about by the girl's comments.

"She reads and draws in the book-corner," he informed the colourful adult quietly.

Zero nodded her thanks to the lad and waved farewell to the others as she left their company with an air that suggested they shouldn't follow her.

Jack spotted her quarry hunched over a low table with her back to the room as she scribbled furiously on a pad of paper. She felt the lump in her throat tighter, knowing from her own experiences that the girl's self-inflicted isolation that Penny was attempting to shut out the world and any more hurt that might come with letting people in.

She approached slowly, taking a wide angle so as not to startle the girl too much.

As Penny became aware of a figure standing over her, she froze. With a fierce unwelcoming expression she turned to face whoever had dared to disturb her. Jack was dismayed to find that anger and bitterness had smothered the tentative hope in those big brown eyes. She'd been abandoned and was taking her hurt out on the world.

The pain soon turned to recognition and then to uncertainty just as quickly.

Jack lowered herself to the ground, wordlessly reaching out for the drawing to get a better look. A strangled noise of protest came from the stoic girl, which the adult ignored as she began to dissect the image before her.

Most of the it seemed incomprehensible upon first inspection but as she studied the harsh lines and shadows, she began to pick out the shape of an eye; flames licking the upper lid to stand out in the place of eye lashes and crevices staining the iris. In the centre of the pupil a faint impression of a skill started blankly back at the tattooed biotic. If the eyes were the window to the soul, this artist felt dead inside.

Jack looked up into a worried face and eyes that were far from dead yet. If she had any lingering doubts in her mind about her purpose for seeing the child again, they disappeared with that look.

"Do you draw a lot of these sorts of things?" Penny averted her gaze and shrugged, an edge of defiance hiding her lingering concern. "It's good," Jack added. The young girl shook her head and hid behind the curtain of hair that fell into her eyes. "You don't think so? Well, I don't know art but I know what I like," she quipped. "Art should be about emotion and this had plenty," she waved the paper in the air a bit before placing it back on the table. Jack looked at the timid brunette for a few silent moments before she spoke again. "You must be kinda pissed off with me for being away for so long."

Penny was quiet and still for a long time before slowly nodding and hiding again.

Jack smiled sadly, kicking herself inwardly. "So, I guess you're too mad to come for a walk then?" She suggested when nothing else was forthcoming.

Penny's expression softened and with one look at her mentor, a small smile appeared. She shrugged her response, standing with rusty movements from having sat for too long and folded her drawing to hold protectively in a clenched fist. Leading the way, she started towards the nearest exit, neatly avoiding the other children as she slipped her free hand into Jack's.

Moving softly past busy social rooms and sleep dormitories, they walked up to the open roof where the diminutive girl released her hold on her taller companion and sat close to the edge, overlooking the slowly recovering landscape.

Jack was unsurprised, as she peered over the edge of the rooftop, to feel the familiar tingle of a force field. The owners were obviously safety conscious when considering their charges. After sating her curiosity, the formidable biotic retraced her steps and lowered herself to sit next to Penny.

The girl's posture was more relaxed and Jack was relieved to see a hint of enjoyment growing in her gaze. She still hadn't uttered a word but the older biotic was fairly certain that without the possibility of an audience, she would soon begin to open up. If not though, Jack knew she'd have no problem communicating as they had once before.

The silence stretched on comfortably as the pair of them contemplated the view. The afternoon sun was rapidly waning, its lower curve coming ever closer to kissing the horizon.

Penny's expression held a childlike joy but also a great deal of maturity as she actively savoured the shared moment.

Jack sat back on her hands and switched her gaze between her companion and the approaching sunset.

"Do you do this a lot, Kiddo?" She enquired softly, finally breaking the silence.

Penny ducked her head, shrugged and pulled a strand of hair to her mouth.

As she was obviously enjoying the experience and had guided them up to the roof, Jack figured that it must be opportunity and not a lack of desire that prevented regular sojourns up the four flights of stairs to witness the myriad of evening colours drenching the sky. "You're not allowed to come up here on your own?" she guessed.

Penny met her gaze and shook her head.

Jack thought this through and eventually chuckled to herself. "This seems like a familiar thing to you though. How many times have you snuck up here?"

The girl's dark eyes held Jack's for a moment before she whispered, "Five."

Jack chuckled again and was gratified to hear a familiar giggle join in. When they'd both had their fill of humour, Jack reached over and tucked a strand of mousey hair behind a pixyish ear.

"So, I guess you're really not having much fun here, huh?" She pushed herself up and slouched forward over her knees. Penny had half turned towards her and shook her head, causing her hair to fall over her eyes once more. "So, I guess you're gonna want to find someplace else to live then? Maybe with someone who kicks ass and takes names? Someone like me?"

Penny frowned and continued gazing at her shoes for several moment as she contemplated those words. Eventually hopeful eyes met Jack's welcoming smile and before the psychotic biotic could begin to open her arms, Penny had launched herself at her and wrapped longing arms around her neck.

Jack's surprise dissipated rapidly and for a private moment she allowed herself to bask in the free affection that she felt she didn't really deserve from this timid young girl. She still doubted her ability to be an adequate mother to this child, but she'd made her mind up that she would do her damnedest to try.

Whilst her partner was busy discussing the finer point of adoption in a mostly one sided conversation, Miranda was attempting to jump through hoops to make it happen but it was proving to be a harder task than anticipated.

A small part of her was impressed that, even in the current political, social and economical turmoil, Mr. and Mrs. D'Oily were being strict in their adherence to the procedures of adoption. The larger part of her was ultimately annoyed at the delay and her own inability to produce the results she wanted for Jack.

"Ms. Lawson. I understand your frustration but surely you can understand our position?" Mr. D'Oily had gone through the application procedure with her, remaining calm and patient even as she chaffed at the probing questions into her personal life. "We want the best for the children and their prospective parents. Particularly in cases such as this girl. We have serious concerns about her and we need to know that you'll be prepared to deal with any situation."

Miranda relaxed into her chair, finally accepting that they weren't going to budge today. She might be able to use her resources to expedite the process but ultimately there would be a waiting period.

Focussing on his last comment, she faced them with growing concern. "What do you mean by 'serious concerns'?"

"Are you not aware that she is mute?" Mrs. D'Oily asked in surprise.

Miranda managed to control the sardonic tone in her words as she replied, "She's a selective mute. She speaks to Jack," she added with satisfaction.

"Ah, well that is encouraging," the older woman conceded and made a quick note in Penny's file. "We're not equipped to deal with her level of psychological difficulties. The other children have all benefitted from group therapy and peer-mentoring, but for Penny we've made enquiries through the Alliance for professional counselling. Once she's started her session we would expect her parents to keep up with the appointments until the doctors are happy that she's made reasonable improvement."

Miranda sighed inwardly, filing all this information in her eidetic memory as she considered how she would approach Jack with the details. Any mention of doctors would likely put the young woman on the offensive.

During their discussion about doctors and therapy, Miranda was given copies of the dark and disturbing images that penny had produced during her hours of self-inflicted isolation. She was forced to admit that her own knowledge of psycho-analysis was lacking in these areas and began to realise that her idealistic daydreams of motherhood were likely to be very different than what she'd imagined. Surprisingly, this knowledge only made her more determined to give the girl a home.

Jack returned some time later with the girl in tow, a similar expression of happy excitement on both their faces, though nervousness and uncertainty still shone from the young biotic's eyes.

Miranda couldn't help the smile she directed at the pair a she noticed their joined hands but it was short-lived as she turned to meet her lover and began to explain the situation.

"That's crap!" Jack responded immediately, as Lawson had known she would do. The only saving grace was the effortless tempering of profanity that Jack had gained over a year's worth of practise. "She's miserable here; she belongs with us!"

"I agree Jack," Miranda told her calmly. "But there are procedures to follow. We're just going to have to be patient."

"Screw the procedures," she turned to face the older couple, her displeasure evident even as she let go of the girl's hand and placed a protective arm around her shoulders. "We're the ones who rescued her and brought her here."

Miranda watched the concern building in the elder couple's eyes as Jack ranted. She needed to put a stop to this and quickly.

"Mr and Mrs. D'Oily. Would you mind if my partner and I had a few moments alone?" Jack looked at her with fear and hope equally as the owners of the orphanage nodded gratefully and moved towards the door.

"Come on, Penny dear," Mrs. D'Oily attempted as she passed Jack, but the girl only help tighter to her hero.

The blue-eyed biotic crouched so she was of a similar height to the obviously worried youngster. "Penny," she began in a soft persuasive tone. "Jack and I really want you to come and live with us. We have a room for you with your own bed, books and toys. It's yours and it's not going away." Penny's face retreated from its hiding place in the baggy fabric of Jack's trousers so she could gage how genuine the pretty lady's words were. Miranda smiled and risked pushing a lock of hair behind the girl's ear. "Jack has told me a lot about you. Especially about how brave you are. The grown-ups, like me, Jack and Mr and Mrs D'Oily, we need to do a lot of work before you can leave the orphanage. We need you to be brave for us while we wait. Can you do that?"

The mousey waif was quick to catch on but wasn't clear on how long exactly she would have to be brave. She gazed up at her friend, hoping that the woman would be able to read her thoughts as she always seemed to do. Jack's eyes met hers and after a moment of silent communication, the deadly biotic nodded her understanding.

"How long do we have to wait?" Jack spoke for them both.

Miranda turned back to Penny. "Usually it takes about six months," she admitted, keeping her expression calm even as the two figures in front of her gazed at her in horror. "However, there are other options; we've agreed that we could finish the paper work in four weeks and then have someone like Mrs. D'Oily come and visit us regularly for the other five months to make sure we're all happy and healthy." She noted a resigned sort of relief looking back at her and smiled again. "That doesn't sound so bad, does it?" Penny shrugged and Jack finally cracked a smile. Miranda returned to her full height as she added, "In the meantime, Jack and I can come and visit every day if you like?" The gesture she received from this piece of news was far more enthusiastic and without too much more persuasion, Penny left her parents-to-be alone.

Miranda opened her mouth to begin to simultaneously scold and apologise to her lover but was prevented from doing so as she was pleasantly attacked with a barrage of emotion filled kisses. As her back hit a mercifully blank space of wall, she recovered from her shock and allowed herself to indulge in her lover's unexpected passion, her arms wrapping themselves firmly around the familiar contours of Jack's waist.

Jack's lips traced a well-known path down Miranda's neck, freeing her enough to whisper roughly into pale skin. "God, you are so sexy when you're being all motherly."

"That bodes well for the future," Lawson replied before coaxing Jack's face up to continue their short impromptu make out session.

There were so many things she wanted to say to Jack; about how she had to show her best side to the D'Oilys and any other authorities they might have to speak to; about the dreaded subject of doctors and therapists; about their readiness to move in together to provide a more stable home for Penny. All of these things needed addressing and she knew it wouldn't be easy to get Jack to talk, but it could wait until later.

For now, she was just going to enjoy the moment.