First off, The Evil Stick would like to give a big thanks to XXinsidemymindXX for help correcting some mistakes from the previous chapters and proofreading this chapter for you to read! Also, a big thank you to Hiro Mashima, the owner and creator of Fairy Tail!

Here is the (extra long) final chapter of The Assimilation of Pantherlily. Enjoy.

Thunderproof

Gajeel watched from the shadows as Lucy made herself a sandwich in the comfort of her own kitchen. She just got back from the guild to have lunch and was in a great mood. Earlier this morning, Lisanna visited the guild for the first time since her presumed death 3 years prior. The guild was overjoyed to have her back and Master Makarov announced a party to celebrate her return in the evening. She smiled at her canis minor spirit and handed him a lollipop.

"Isn't it amazing, Plue? Lisanna never died and everyone is happy again. You should have seen the look on Natsu's face when he figured out that the Lisanna in the bushes was his Lisanna from childhood. I'm so happy for him!" She smiled and took a bite of her sandwich.

*SNAP* She jumped and turned around with her hand on her keys only to see Gajeel throw a broken piece of her kitchen faucet in his mouth and crunch down on it.

"Stainless steel tastes the best when it's slightly wet." He licked his lips and gave his most intimidating grin.

"DON'T EAT MY PLUMBING!" Lucy pulled out Loke's key, "OPEN GA-!"

*SLAM* Gajeel pinned her against the wall with one hand tightly wrapped around her wrist that held the key and large hand covering her mouth so she couldn't call out her spirit.

"Gihi!" He got this hungry look in his eyes as he sniffed the golden key in her hand. "You know, gold is just another form of metal. Those keys would be considered a delicacy for someone who eats metal…" He licked his lips and smirked devilishly.

Lucy's eyes widened. This wasn't the first time Gajeel had paid her a visit…

Flashback:

Lucy let the warm water soak into her skin and relax her muscles, "Ahhh, Plue, I'm so relieved that no one was in my apartment when I got here. I really needed some 'me' time to relax in the bathtub." She smiled and sunk further into the bath.

"Pu-puuuun…" The wrinkled little dog spirit agreed as he floated in the bath water next to his master.

"Finally, I actually have time to properly groom myself." She pulled out a nail clipper and started grooming herself.

A raspy voice echoed in the bathroom, "What kind of sick fuck trims their toenails in the bath tub? And do all celestial mages get naked with their spirits?"

"Who's there?!" Lucy covered her breasts and searched for the intruder.

"Up here, Moron." The mocking voice came from above.

Lucy looked up to see Gajeel crouched on the ceiling looking down at her with his lips curled in disgust. He retracted his metal spikes back into his hands and feet and landed gracefully on the floor like a cat.

"DON'T PUT HOLES IN MY CEILING!" Lucy screeched with a fist in the air.

He smirked and took a bite out of some scrap metal he had found.

"DON'T EAT MY SILVERWARE!"

"Hmm… That nail clipper looks delicious." Gajeel put his hands on his hips.

Lucy hid the nail clipper behind her back and realized that she just flashed Gajeel a full view of her breasts.

He laughed in triumph, "I didn't think you were really that stupid!"

Lucy turned red in embarrassment and covered her breasts again, "Why does everyone always break into my home?"

"More importantly, toenails shouldn't be that thick or have a greenish tint to them. They also smell infected so you might want to have a doctor take look at that. Gross..." Gajeel curled his lip in disgust.

"GET OUT OF MY HOME!" Lucy screeched at the dragon slayer.

He growled and roughly grabbed her by the hair and raised her to eyelevel, "Did you forget who you were talking to?"

She shivered in the cold air while making sure she covered herself, "Wh-what do you want?"

"I want some of your sheep spirit's softest wool and I want your maid spirit to make a plushy bed for the cat that I plan to adopt."

"YOU COULDN'T HAVE ASKED ME AT THE GUILD?!"

"No, because I couldn't do THIS at the guild!" Gajeel morphed his hand into a sword and held it to Plue's belly.

"O-okay."

End Flashback

"What do you want, Gajeel? I already gave you the cat-bed," Lucy shivered in fear.

"I want your sheep to use her wool to make my house sound proof. That way my Lily can sleep through a thunderstorm!" Gajeel growled in her face again, "If you don't then I'l-"

"I'll do it." Lucy cut him off before he could detail his threat. "You don't have to threaten me or my home, all you have to do is ask. Since it's for Pantherlily, I would be happy to help out."

"Oh." He let her down and awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, "Okay…"

"Besides, didn't you just get your ass kicked by Erza for threatening people at the guild this morning?"

Gajeel narrowed his eyes at her question.

Lucy rolled her eyes, "Just take me to your home."

In the streets of Magnolia:

Lucy and Gajeel walked silently and awkwardly down the streets of Magnolia to Gajeel's home.

Gajeel grumbled to himself, "I hope no one sees me walking with this weirdo…"

"I'm walking right next to you, I can hear you!"

"Stop screeching." He looked around to make sure no one saw them together.

Lucy rolled her eyes, "I don't want to be seen with you either so lets hurry up and get there. Where do you live?"

Gajeel grunted, "My cabin is in the woods. On the other side of this block is a path we can take."

"So, why don't we just use that alley way? I use it all the time as a shortcut to Erza's favorite bakery. We'll get there faster." She pointed to Magnolia's most cat-infested alley.

"That alley way?" His eyes were wide and his finger shook.

"Is there a problem with that alley? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were scared." She raised a curious eyebrow.

"No… of course not… Black Steel's not afraid of anything…" He pushed her into the alleyway ahead of him.

"You don't have to push!" Lucy stomped ahead of the dragon slayer and stopped. Something was off in the familiar back alley…

~GROWL~ Lucy shook as she watched all the cats poke their heads out of the trash cans and from behind crates and other junk. They were all growling viciously and the hair on their backs were standing straight up.

"Um, this has never happened before. Usually the stray cats are very friendly." She pulled out her Sagittarius key and held it close. "Gajeel, have you been in this alley before?"

~HISS~ The cats had their ears back and had their eyes focused on the iron dragon.

"Uh… well I… maybe once." Gajeel grabbed Lucy by the shoulders and used her as a shield as he steered her through the alleyway.

"Wait!" Lucy tried to pry off his hands from her shoulders, but she could not get him to release his iron grip. "What did you do to these cats?!"

"Just hurry up and go through!" Gajeel's back stiffened when he caught a familiar scent.

~RAWRRR~ The largest cat, a black tomcat, appeared above him on some crates and looked down on him with it's ears low and it's fur standing on end.

The tomcat's pupils dilated in anger. This wasn't the first time Gajeel had paid him a visit…

Flashback:

The tomcat was having a wonderful day in his favorite back alley. The local sea food vendor threw out some old fish into his personal trash can and the fleas on his back were hardly biting.

The large black tomcat watched as a human came into the alley and started examining all the cats. This human smelled funny… like human, but mixed with metal.

"This is frustrating… not this one either... or this one…" The metal human stomped around the alley and tripped over a bottle. It mumbled something and had tears in it's eyes. Suddenly, the metallic human gave a wide smile as it made eye contact with him.

~MEOW?~ The tomcat questioned the human's odd behavior.

The metallic human stood up and grasped the black tomcat by the scuff of the neck. "This one is perfect!" The human smirked and checked out the cat by lifting it's tail and then examined the teeth.

~RAWRRR~ The tomcat latched it's nails onto the human's face and started biting and clawing relentlessly.

~HISS~ All the cats hissed as they watched the violence unfold. A human had never dared to try to cat-nap any of them before and they would never allow it to happen again.

End Flashback

Lucy shivered in fright, "That big black cat looks mad at you, Gajeel."

"RUN!" Gajeel shoved Lucy away from him just as the tomcat prepared to pounce from the crate.

~RAWRRR!~ The alley cats came from all directions and latched themselves onto the metal human's skin and clothing

Lucy watched in horror as he was completely covered with the angry stray cats and they were digging their claws into every inch of his skin while biting as much flesh as they could get in their mouths. It was painful to watch, but knowing Gajeel, he probably had it coming.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU DIRTY FLEA BAGS!" He peeled two cats from his face only to see the large tomcat finally pounce from its position on the crate.

~HISSSSS~ The large tomcat sank all four of its large claws into Gajeel's face and dragged its nails in every direction that it could while sinking its large yellow teeth into the metal human's nose.

"AUUGGHHH!" Gajeel's painful scream echoed through the streets of Magnolia…

In the forest outside of Magnolia:

Gajeel pouted and decided that it was finally time to end the awkward silence between him and the celestial spirit mage since they ran out of the alley way. "You could have called out your stupid mermaid to wash those vermin off of me."

"I can only call out Aquarius if I have a water source. Besides, you probably deserved getting jumped by those cats. I hate to find out what you did to them. Those poor cats…"

"POOR CATS?! LOOK AT MY FACE!" All the birds flew out of the trees in the surrounding area when Gajeel yelled at Lucy.

Since running out of that alley, Lucy has been very determined not to look at Gajeel's face and finally she had permission to take a look. She turned her head and instantly wished she hadn't.

"Pt-PTT," she held her sides, "AHAHAHA!"

Gajeel's face was swollen and lumps were forming on his cheeks and forehead. His nose was enlarged, bright red, and had visible holes that leaked blood. There were deep claw marks down his cheeks and forehead as well as leftover fur covering his whole body.

"SHUT UP!" He raised a metal studded fist, "DON'T MAKE ME REMIND YOU THAT I'M NOT AFRAID TO BEAT UP GIRLS!"

"I'm not afraid of you anymore, Gajeel. Master and Erza would kick your ass if you did anything to me."

Gajeel growled, "Whatever. We're here."

"Wow! This place is cute!"

"My house is not cute," Gajeel snarled at her as he opened the door to his home and stomped inside.

Lucy walked in to find that there were sharp metal scraps all over the floor of his living room.

"Uh, are you aware that this is dangerous?" She pointed to the floor. "What if Pantherlily cuts his feet on the metal shards?"

Gajeel shrugged, "He didn't seem to mind. He just floats around the house with his wings."

"Jeez, no wonder why the bottom of your clothes are always shredded. This place is a disgusting mess-" A bright golden light disrupted Lucy's voiced thoughts.

Virgo appeared in the living room wearing a bikini, "You called, Princess?"

"Nope, I sure didn't." Lucy sighed at the maid's odd behavior.

"I'll get right to work, Princess. After that we can talk about punishment." Virgo started cleaning like a crack head.

"Hey! I wanted the sheep, not your creepy maid!" Gajeel yelled at Lucy and then turned to yell at her spirit, "Hey, Maid, those metal pieces on the floor are my dinner so don't touch them!"

Virgo ignored the homeowner and continued to pick up the pieces of metal from the floor, "Shall I arrange the pieces by color, mass, conductivity, or its position on the periodic table?"

He growled, "Arrange them by flavor." He smirked to himself thinking he would confuse the spirit back into her own world.

"Right away, Metal Master. I will arrange them by state of oxidation and density. Punishment?"

"Uh… I can punch you in the face when you're done…" Gajeel offered, confused by the request.

"Three punches would be more appropriate, Metal Master. You can also cause more damage if you pull my hair when you punch me."

Gajeel turned around to hide his blush, "What the fuck is wrong with your celestial spirit?"

Lucy rolled her eyes, "You're the one who promised to punish her…"

Gajeel fake-coughed into his hand, "Well, just call out the sheep already. I don't want anymore masochistic celestial spirits in my house."

"We don't want deal with you either! Here I thought you would be a little more civil since we both want this to get done for Pantherlily." Lucy angrily picked through her keys and pulled out Aries' key, "Open, Gate of the Ram!"

With a poof of smoke Aries appeared looking sad and timid, "I'm sorry, I'll do my best, Princess."

"Aries, have you ever used your wool to sound proof a building?" Lucy asked before Gajeel could start barking demands at the shy spirit.

"Yes, Princess. Master Karen used to make me sound proof her house and hotel rooms before she would beat me so no one could hear me scream."

Gajeel stared, "What the fuc-"

"No need to apologize, Aries. I'm just glad you can make this place thunder proof for our new comrade." Lucy shot Gajeel a deadly glare to warn him not to scare her spirit.

The iron dragon gulped and used the gentlest voice he could, "We'll start outside." He knew Lucy was protective of her spirits and he couldn't scare the lamb away or his house would never get sound proof for Lily.

The shy lamb followed him outside to begin sound proofing the home…

In the woods outside of Magnolia:

Pantherlily sighed as he walked back to Gajeel's house. He was ecstatic over the fact that he was accepted right into guild as Gajeel's new partner, but the actions of his partner were outrageous, embarrassing, and overwhelming. Mira laughed about being bolted to the wall and she even mentioned that she was used to it by now. The sand mage wouldn't stop crying and two others were visibly shaken by their encounter with him. Worst of all, Gajeel was terrorizing his guild mates just to make the displaced exceed more comfortable. Gajeel may have been an excellent warrior, but he also had the worst reputation in the guild.

The exceed shook his head over the story of how Gajeel destroyed and then joined the guild, "Maybe I should just find somewhere else to live since Gajeel can't get along with others…"

*clang, clang, clang* He paused to focus on the sound of metal clanging.

"I'M SORRY!" A female voice cried from the direction of Gajeel's house.

Pantherlily spread his wings and used mach speed to reach the metal cabin where he ducked inside some brush so he could see what was happening. He was surprised at what he saw:

Gajeel was holding a pink lamb-looking women bridal style. The iron dragon slayer looked annoyed, but he was using a soft voice. "You don't need to apologize, it's no big deal." He lowered her until her feet touched the ground.

"I'm sorry I fell off the roof…th- thank you for catching me." The dainty lamb shyly pulled on her pink wool out of nervousness.

Gajeel had a faint blush on his cheeks, "No problem… we got that done a lot faster than I thought it would take. Thank you for thunder proofing the house for my cat." Gajeel felt weird for thanking a sheep, but he was undeniably grateful.

The sheep lady smiled sweetly at the iron dragon. Any fear that was there before was now replaced by trust and friendship. "If you need anything else, just ask my master and I will gladly come to help."

"Uh, sure." Gajeel was still getting used to the idea that he could ask people for things rather than using threats. The entire concept was still weird to him.

He awkwardly waved at the lamb lady before she faded away and then he entered the house.

Pantherlily couldn't believe what he saw. Gajeel was being nice, the house was now thunder proof, a human-lamb helped, and then she disappeared? There were many things about Earthland that was foreign to him. Maybe it would be best if he stayed with Gajeel after all…

Back inside the house:

"Is it to your liking, Metal Master?" Virgo bowed while Gajeel's wide eyes took in the sight of sparkly walls and a clean shiny floor.

"Ho- how did you get the floors so shiny?" He stared down at his reflection in the metal tile flooring.

"My earth magic isn't just for digging holes, it can also buff floors. Punishment time?"

"Uh…" Gajeel looked over to Lucy, who was sitting on his couch and using cat toys to tease a playful Plue.

Lucy just shrugged and went back to playing with Plue. Virgo has been asking for punishment for as long as they have been contracted. Maybe Gajeel could be the one to get her to stop asking.

"You promised punishment when I was done." Virgo stated in a hopeful tone.

Gajeel sighed, "Sure…" He slammed the stellar spirit against the wall and bolted her wrists to the wall.

"Not so rough, Gajeel!" Lucy yelled despite the small creepy smile on Virgo's face.

Just then, the custom exceed door swung open, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GAJEEL?!"

"LILY, IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" Gajeel lowered his raised fist and patted Virgo's head.

"Metal Master is punishing me for cleaning his house," Virgo mentioned with a straight face. "He promised to punch me 3 times and to pull my hair."

"WHAT?! WHO TOURTURES HELPLESS WOMEN AFTER THEY FINISH CLEANING THE HOUSE!?" Pantherlily jumped of the ledge and morphed into his battle mode.

"Wait, Pantherlily! This really isn't as bad as it looks. Virgo is one of my spirits and this is what she wants. Please, trust me…" Lucy pleaded with the exceed.

Lily saw the honesty in Lucy's eyes and looked to her spirit who stared back emotionless. His eyes then met Gajeel's who looked incredibly embarrassed before he looked away from his partner's judgmental stare.

"Fine," the exceed growled and shifted out of battle mode.

Lucy looked to her spirit, "Sorry Virgo, but punishment is going to have to wait until next time."

"But Princess-"

"Force gate close!" Lucy turned to her comrades, "Sorry about that, my spirits have interesting personalities. I don't know why, but my spirits really like you, Gajeel." She smiled and waved to the partners and left knowing that they probably had important things to discuss. "I'll see you guys at the guild tonight!"

The door closed and an awkward silence fell over the two.

"Uh, the maid… she asked for… punishment as… payment… for cleaning…" Gajeel's face turned bright red.

"Oh. Well… uh… I didn't know you and Lucy were into that-"

"WE aren't into that! The maid is!"

"Sure, Gajeel. Whatever you say…"

"Thank you for thunder proofing the house for me. I see you are a man of your word." Lily smiled at his new partner.

Gajeel returned a genuine smile, "No problem, Buddy!"

"Gajeel, I was just wondering… what happened to your face? It looks like you have cat scratches everywhere."

Much appreciation to everyone who followed and favorited this story! The Evil Stick hopes that you enjoyed reading this fic. REVIEW and feel free to flame.

Still feel like laughing? Follow The Evil Stick or check out The Evil Stick's other stories:

Wendy's First S-Class Mission: Only Wendy can heal the fatal STD threatening the entire guild of Blue Pegasus.

A Day in the Life of Aquarius: A collection of short stories explaining why Aquarius is such a bitch.

To Emulate Gajeel: Jet and Droy secretly follow Gajeel and Pantherlily on a job in order to impress Levy.

COMING SOON… Professor Erza's Mandatory Sex-Ed Class: A side story to Wendy's First S-Class Mission. (Rated M for extreme raunchiness)