CHAPTER NINE

SOME TRUTHS FROM THE PAST ARE REVILED

Author's Note: Seeing how we have Edwin Jarvis on "Agent Carter" I have decided to take the route (that I'm sure a lot of people are taking) and having JARVIS actually have the brain waves of Edwin Jarvis. So he and Peggy know one another.

I know that it's most likely that Peggy would have met Tony when he was child; after all she was close to Howard for many years before his death. But I started this story before "Agent Carter hit air waves & I haven't read any comics where Peggy has been in (I know shocking and seriously shame on me). I have decided to keep the fact that Tony and Peggy haven't met before. (Well as far as Tony knows. He may be a genius and all – but even he doesn't remember his baby hood).

Also I know that in Winter Solider they stated that Natasha was born in the 1980s. I'm NOT going to follow that. When I know for a fact that Natasha was injected with the serum just as Steve was. So Natasha has lived a nice long life just as Bucky has. I'm going to get Bucky into this story at some point. So between him and Natasha they can help Steve adjust to the world in the 2000's.

Also seeing how we know Peggy's death is set in 2016 in Captain America 3 – I have decided to keep her alive. Seeing how I'm not having her have Alzheimer's in this story; I don't want to cut her life short with the 2016 dead (sorry for the pun) zone.

PEGGY'S POV

"You have turned off all communications in Skye's room right Jarvis?" You stare in front of you.

"Yes Ms. Carter." Jarvis spoke.

"I have missed you my old friend." You felt the tears prickle the tips of your eye lids. Your thoughts went back to 1948 when you first met Edwin Jarvis; Howard's butler. Soon to be your partner in protecting Howard from well …. himself. Soon to be your best friend. Your brother. You thought of his death. How Howard just couldn't let him go. He couldn't allow himself to lose Jarvis the way he lost Steve. So against your better judgment you didn't prevent Howard from placing Jarvis's brain into a computer cormorant.

"I have missed you too." Jarvis spoke. "I remember all those times we sat at the L & L back to back trying to smoothly talk to one another; without anyone being the wiser."

You tearfully laughed. "We weren't fooling any one."

"Yes we were." Jarvis spoke. "Ms. Carter no one was paying any attention to us. If they did they just thought we were carrying on an affair."

"Yes. There was that." You whisper. Your heart hurt as you thought of the one person whom thought that. Whom truly thought that for the longest of all time.

"Ms. Carter." Jarvis gently said. "She understood."

"But she still thought that in the beginning." You felt a tear fall down your cheek. "I led her to think that." You picture her face each and every time she looked over at you and Jarvis at the diner. The hurt and despair in them. Even in the very beginning when she and you just met. When you were telling yourself to keep your distance from this innocent soul. Yet it stilled pained you when you knew what she was thinking whenever her eyes drifted over to you and Mr. Jarvis.

"Why are you talking to Tony's computer like you personally know it?" Steve asked with confusion on his face as he walked into the room.

You breathed out a soft sigh. You had a lot to explain to this poor man. You would begin with the basics. Well the basics that you could when it concerned Howard Stark that is. "Steve; you better sit down for this."

You waited until he took a seat in the chair next to where you were sitting on the couch. "Jarvis please remain here also."

" Of course Ms. Carter." Jarvis replied.

"Edwin Jarvis was Howard's butler." You began. "I didn't meet him until 1947 when Howard was a number one suspect for tension. Mr. Jarvis and I worked together to clear Howard."

Steve nodded. "So Howard told Tony; and Tony honored Mr. Jarvis's memory by naming his computer program after him.

"Jarvis … IS Edwin Jarvis." You spoke. His blue eyes widen in shock. "We ARE talking about Howard Stark after all." You smirked.

"That's impossible." He hissed out. "There's no way anyone can put a human brain into a computer."

"It was impossible to do this back in the 1930's; Steve. But Howard Stark always dealt with the impossible. He was the man whom dreamed of the future – and was unafraid to create the future." You lifted your right eye brow at him.

"But, but he took a man's brain." Steve's right hand ran through his head.

"I allowed him to do so; Mr. Rogers." Jarvis replied. "I knew that young Master Stark still needed me. That Ms. Carter still needed me. That Howard still needed me. I told my wife; Anna; that if my brain waves was still function at the time of my death – that I gave Howard Stark permission to preserve my brain."

Steve kept shaking his head as he ran his fingers though his hair. You knew that you had to wait until Steve was ready to listen once more. That this was simply too much information for him to take in. "Howard shouldn't have done this. He shouldn't have messed with God's work. He wasn't God."

"He created the super soldier serum." You pointed out. "The serum that you gladly put into your own system; Steve. The serum that changed your DNA."

Steve's blue eyes flashed angry as he stared at you. "You allowed Howard to do this?! You didn't fight for him not to." He stood to his feet and stormed across the room. His back was stiff as he faced the window.

"It was a losing battle." You spoke. "I know when to back down from a lost cause." You stare at his stiff back.

"How long?" He asked with steel underling his voice.

"Two years." You spoke.

His shoulders hunched forward. "I never stopped loving you. But I had to keep living. I was on auto pilot the first year and half. Right before the war ended – I was shot twice in my shoulder. The first time in the war that I was shot. In the middle of the shoot out that we were having; I pictured you standing right in front of me. " Tears rolled down your winkled face. "I just wanted to be with you once more. I lowered my arm that was holding the rifle and my mouth opened. All of a sudden I was knocked backward onto the ground. I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder as my head hit the ground."

You swallowed around the bile that had risen. "You have Timothy Dugan to thank that I made it out of the war alive. "

Steve tightly nodded. His right hand turned into a fist against the window.

"He told me that it was much much to soon for me to join you. He told me that I had things to do to protect the innocents of the world. That I had to continue to hold onto this life so I could protect as many innocents that I could." Your chest tightened as you thought about Colleen. Sweet and innocent Colleen. She was murdered in your place. "I felt a raw fear deep within me that pushed me to truly fight for the right to breathe on this earth."

Taking a long shaky breath. It was time. "At first I thought it was your spirit telling me to keep living. It wasn't until the year 1946 and I stepped into the L & L automate that I knew I was wrong. That it wasn't your spirit that kept giving me strength. It never was."

"I loved you." Steve softly spoke. "I love you."

"As do I." You spoke. "But I didn't realize that you weren't my soul mate until I met ..."

"Enough." Steve barked.

"You can't run from this Mr. Rogers." Jarvis spoke up.

"Turn off Jarvis." Steve steely spoke.

"Jarvis don't turn off." You spoke up. "Steve you need to hear this now. That way you can deal with it. That way this won't be in the way of why we are really here."

"I thought you returned my feelings for me." Steve turned his head finally.

"I loved you." You softly spoke. "I still love you. I thought you were the one. The perfect one for me. I knew that once the war ended; and we managed to get married. That you would never stop me from being me. That I could still be whom I am – and not to try to turn into a house wife. That I could have a career of my own. That you would stand by my side and I by your side. That you would never belittle me."

Steve had turned around as I spoke. He wrapped his arms across his chest.

"You were the first one to unlock the lock that I had placed around my heart; and soul since I was in my mother's womb." A soft smile. "But she managed to burst through it."

Steve swallowed thickly. His ears turned red in embarrassment.

Oh my poor sweet and innocent Steve. You still have much to learn about this world of ours. "You would have loved Angie; Steve. You would have been happy for us."

"You would have left me if I hadn't been frozen." Steve said with a lone tear roll down his cheek.

"I would have set you free for you to find your soul mate." You softly said. "I always wanted you to be happy and full filled. I just knew that a life with me would have seriously short changed you. That was why I fought so hard against your feelings for me in the beginning."

His head tilted to the left. "What changed?" You knew he was thinking of the kiss you shared with him right before he got on Red Skull's plane.

"Angie." You truthfully replied. "Even when I finally allowed myself to have feelings for you …. and to finally kiss you the way I did that day …. I felt Angie's soul crying out to my soul. I honesty thought it was yours; Steve; even when I kissed you and it felt off. I thought it was still you."

Steve nodded his head.

"When you went down I mourned for you. But that voice kept crying out to my soul. It was so alive. When you were dead. I denied for so long that you were actually dead. I kept telling them to keep searching for you. That you had to still be alive in the Atlantic Ocean. That the super solider serum gave you extra strength to remain alive longer than a normal human being." Fresh tears rolled down onto your folded hands. "They kept telling me that they had looked far beyond where the plane crashed. But there was no sign of you. That they had to give up the search because others needed them in other areas." Bowing your head. "I should have kept looking. Howard would have spent all his money on the search for you. But I …."

"I wasn't meant to be found at that time Peggy. God knew that Captain America was going to be needed in the future." Steve's gentle voice spoke. "I was meant to live the rest of my thirties and on ward in this time."

"When I finally admitted that you were gone I shut my soul against the voice calling out to me. I couldn't bare it. That's when I got reckless. That's when I almost allowed myself to be shot down that fateful day." Your shoulder ached in pain at the memory. "But Dugan wouldn't allow me to give up." Your eyes lifted to meet his. "I swore that I would keep on living. That I would protect the innocent people of the world – but I wouldn't get close to another person ever again." You thickly swallowed. "You were the first and only one whom I truly got close to in my life; Steve. When I lost you I lost all hope."

"Until Angie." Steve softly said.

"Until Angie." You nodded. "She wouldn't let me be a non feeling person. From the first moment she set eyes on me; she set out to save me." Your chest tightened. "I knew that I could get her killed. Like I had Colleen. Colleen had lost her apartment and really didn't have any money to stay at the hotel. So I offered her my apartment until she got back on her feet. I went out on a mission – and when I came home I thought she was all ready asleep. Until I got to the bed. Her eyes were wide open; and there was a bullet hole right just above her eyes. She got killed all because I offered her a roof over her head."

Steve opened his mouth to speak. "I need you to hear what I went through; Steve. I need you to understand." His mouth closed and he took a deep breathe.

"Like I said before Steve; you would have loved Angie." You smile softly. "As soon as she found out the guilt I carried due to Colleen's death …. once I told her what I actually did for a living – she told me that I couldn't live in self guilt. That it wasn't my fault that she was killed. It wasn't my fault that there were evil people in this world. She told me that I had to forgive myself; and to allow her to rest in peace. It took me years before I figured out what she meant."

"Peggy?" Steve's voice echoed in your ears.

"Ms. Carter." Jarvis said.

"Yes Mr. Jarvis?" You automatically replied.

"Mr. Rogers is ready for the rest of the story." Jarvis said.

You blink as you realize where you were in. What year you were in. "When I first set eyes on Angie … it was just before Colleen's murder. I was shot to the earth when her voice burst though my soul. I knew then that it was her that I have been waiting for since I was two years of age. It was her that kept me alive. But I knew I had to keep her at arms length to keep her safe. Then Colleen's murder happened …. and I swore to myself to never go back to the L & L automate ever again. To avoid Angie at all cost." Bowing your head. "I only lasted a week."

You breathed deeply. "I was looking for a new apartment and Angie told me about the room across from hers was up for rent. I denied it quickly enough. I told myself that it would be fine to see Angie at the L & L. I had to eat. I also wanted to make sure that she wasn't harassed to much. I couldn't go every day. But I made sure to come in most days." You smirk. "I didn't want the boys to know where I went to eat my lunch. They would have made it unbearable if they had discovered the L & L. At first every time I went in there I saw how she was treated by the men. I of course took upon myself to "teach" them the right manners."

"I'm sure you had." Steve said with a soft chuckle.

"She was relentless with her asking me to move into the Griffin Hotel. I kept saying no. That I wasn't a neighbor that she would want to have." You blink back the tears. "It was finally Mr. Jarvis whom finally got through to me. Against my better judgment I said that I would do it. I regret it and I don't regret it to this day."

END CHAPTER NINE

Author's Note: I sat on this chapter for way too long. Almost a year. (Yikes). I was trying to figure out a way to push the story forward and switch Povs like the previous chapters. But finally when I was finally able to write this chapter …. it just felt write to keep everything in Peggy's POV. I was also debating on weather or not Angie would still be alive in 2015. I have finally decided that Angie has sadly passed away. I will explain her death in a later chapter. (All I can say is that Angie had lived a nice long life before she passed. But I'm not saying that she passed away in her sleep – or that she was killed. When it comes time for Peggy to say how Angie passed away and when … then you will know how she passed away).

I wasn't going to have Peggy tell Steve about Angie in this chapter …. I was just going to explain how Peggy knew JARVIS – but then I wrote Steve's reaction to Howard putting Edwin Jarvis's brain into a component and I just knew this was the point where Steve NEEDED to learn of Peggy's love for Angie.

This is a Skye centric story. But I do have to flesh out the other characters also here. But the main forces is Skye – and her healing. I will be writing one shots surrounding the other characters with more in depth to their story lines – I just don't want to add a lot of things that don't really tell the story that I'm telling in "Trust".