While this story may seem disjointed, it definitely does have a story line. I'm trying to keep it fluid and chapters will get longer and more in depth as the story progresses. Feel free to make suggestions as you go!

Her fingers kneaded the scarf, twisting it tightly around her hands and stretching the imprint of the fabric into her knuckles. Her lips were bitten raw, arms leaden, and the remaining dregs of emotion swirling around her head made her feel like she was falling without her 3D maneuvering device with no idea how close the ground was coming up under her.

He told her to go away.

His eyes had glinted hard and bright—his eyes were always so hard now—as he snatched his hand out of her gentle, insistent grip. She would rather have been slapped than see him step back, distance himself from her.

Are you OK?

What happened?

Are you hurt?

Do you need any bandages?

Any water?

She supposed he didn't need anything from her. Not when he could turn into a hulking giant that could crush her in his fingers. Unconsciously, she traced the ridge of the scar on her cheek.

And yet the urge to protect him was still there. Protect Eren. Protect Eren. Protect Eren.

She didn't know whose voice was repeating the mantra in her head. Sometimes it was hers. Sometimes it was his. Sometimes it was an indistinguishable wordless roar in her ears that she still understood to mean protect Eren.

She wanted to take his pain, all that pain, and slice it up with her knives. She'd take that pain and shove it down the bloody throats of the monsters that tried to hurt him. She'd shove it in the barrels of the cannons aimed at him. She'd use it to build more walls. Higher walls, safer walls. All for him.

He didn't want her walls.

A presence appeared beside her and she glanced at the newcomer on her bench. Short cropped black hair and fathomless green eyes fixed forward. Levi. The commander she hardly knew but understood more than most of the people she'd trained with, just from that familiar look in his eyes.

She looked away quickly. In moments like these after battles, everyone was vulnerable in their own way. She didn't want to look too long for fear that she'd betray something (as if there was anything left to betray). In any case, she wasn't ready for human contact. Not so soon after titan contact.

A callused hand silently offered her a hard-looking hunk of bread. She took it, sinking in her teeth and ignoring how it scratched her gums. They sat in silence, watching the activity of the maintenance crews before them. Neither of them were builders. They knew this well.

He turned to face her. His gaze felt uncomfortably calculating on her face but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of her discomfort. She stared straight ahead.

"As a commander, you have to know when to let things go." She blinked in acknowledgement at his words but still couldn't bring herself to turn and face him. Mikasa wasn't a coward, but she wasn't an idiot either.

"Sometimes it's a horse, a supply caravan, or a sword." He paused and something made the air thicker. "Sometimes it's a person."

She stiffened and his gaze grew more intense, gauging her reaction.

"Holding on too tightly can jeopardize a mission." When she remained silent, he finished, "and your own safety."

Her fingers clenched the corners of the scarf, joints feeling like molded metal. Any other moment and she'd be icy and cold and aloof but it just hurtsomuch that all she could do was grip the fabric. Something like shame was rising up in her at his allusion to her problems but the other part of her was righteously indignant.

She tilted her chin up because after all, she had every right to be proud—just as he did. She wasn't going to lie to him. She saw too much of herself in him to know that it wouldn't work.

"He's all I have." She shook a bit at the admission but she reminded herself- I am powerful—I am powerful

"All you have or all you want to have?"

Those words finally drew her gaze to him and he just blinked at her in a kind of challenge that made something in her boil and ache at the same time. She glared, ready to muster up some kind of barbed reply when he stood and turned to leave.

He walked away with his hands resting on the hilts of his swords before she could say anything. He merged into the crowd, leaving Mikasa feeling more alone than before. At least now she knew how close she was to hitting the ground.