Bucky sits stiffly in a chair in Catherine's apartment, gripping the chair and breathing slowly. Catherine is working furiously behind a laptop, sending concerned glances in Bucky's direction every so often. After a while she exclaims happily, clasping her hands together.
"I have a source that says he goes to 'debriefing' meetings with a 'Sam Wilson' once a week at the VA. Army stuff or something. Lucky for you, those meetings are tonight." She smiles, but her smile fades when it is not returned. "James, are you okay?"
He nods soberly, but he still doesn't show any emotion. Catherine sets the laptop on the couch and walks over to him. She takes his face in her hands and gently tilts it up towards hers. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asks again with quiet persistence. This time he shakes his head. "Come here, I want to show you something." She tugs him down beside her on the couch and pulls up YouTube. A video begins streaming. Steve fidgets in a chair, and a man is mumbling off-screen.
"Go ahead, man, it's rolling."
Steve nods and clears his throat. "Thanks, Sam," he mutters. "This is Captain America," he says, and his voice is oozing the confident patriotism that Bucky remembers so well. The image moves rapidly as Catherine fast forwards the video. When she plays it again, Steve says, "And as for the Winter Soldier, that's not his name. His name is James Buchanan Barnes, and he's my best friend. Bucky, if you see this," he pauses, swallowing hard, "just know that I forgive you. I know that wasn't you, and I know we can make it right again. Just please, come back." Steve goes on to talk about loyal S.H.E.I.L.D. agents, but Bucky tunes it out. Steve's words echo in his head. '…I forgive you…make it right…come back…'
"James?" Christine ventured as she gently closed the laptop. "How about that meeting?"
He nodded numbly, still staring blankly across the room, letting Steve's words sink in.
"James?" she questions again, leaning forward to try to catch his eye.
He turns to face her abruptly. "Thank you," he mutters hurriedly as he presses his lips against hers. He pulls her closer to him, and she wraps her arms around his neck. Her fingers tangle in his hair. When he pulls away to blink at her. He brows are furrowed, but a smile graces his lips. "Thank you," he repeats softly, pressing his forehead to hers.
"Of course," she whispers back. "Let's get you ready."
She finds him a comb and a spare Bic razor so he could tidy himself up. They take a cab to the little place that the meeting is supposed to be held at. They find the room, where two men are talking, up at the front of the room. Sam Wilson, now a famous face, is facing the door, and his jaw drops when Bucky and Christine enter hand in hand. Steve's massive figure has its back facing them. Bucky tenses, but Christine pulls him in. Sam is still frozen in shock, and as Steve turns to see for himself what's so stunning, he stops as well.
"Bucky," he mumbles, then bolts down the aisle and wraps Bucky in a bear hug. Bucky releases Christine's hand to return the hug. The moment is silent, and to Bucky, it is surreal. Steve pulls away, hands on Bucky's shoulders. "I missed you, Buck."
All Bucky can do is nod. His face is rumpled into a grimace of sadness and relief. "I'm so sorry, Steve. I'm so, so, so—"
Steve interrupts him with another hug. "That wasn't you, Buck," he says, and that effectively end the apologies. "So," he says, pulling back again, "who's your friend?"
"This…this is Christine," Bucky says, extending a hand in her direction, which she takes. "She convinced me to find you."
"Well then, I suppose I owe you my thanks," Steve says warmly.
People begin to trickle in for the meeting, and Steve invites Bucky and Catherine to take a seat. After the meeting Steve suggests they go get shwarma. They sit in the little shop for hours. Sam plays music, and Steve shows Bucky the list he's compiled. Bucky gratefully accepts Steve's offer to stay with him as long as he needs.
As the night winds on, Bucky relaxes. He accepts that this is his new life. It's alien, but it's not awful. He has Steve, and Christine too. Sam declares that there aren't any hard feelings, even if Bucky did throw him off a helicarrier. For the first time in forever, Bucky feels truly human. He feels alive. Despite the cold burn of metal beneath his skin, with Steve as his anchor, he feels whole. Warm air moves in in gentle gusts, pushing away the last chill of winter. The Winter Soldier is dead now, and the Russian voices in his head are softer. He knows now that he will survive this, just like he survived the draft and the fall. With his best friend at his side, he knows he can make it to the end of the line.
EPILOGUE
"And, this'll be your room," Steve says as he finishes the tour of his apartment.
"You know, I remember being here," Bucky says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with his metal hand. "I wouldn't think you'd've stayed put."
"Nothing scares me off. You know that, Buck," Steve replies, patting his friend on the shoulder.
Bucky smiles. "Yeah."
"Let's get you a change of clothes." After some rooting around, Steve extracts a plain blue t-shirt and chucks it at Bucky, hitting him square in the chest.
Bucky grins, tugging off his ragged shirt. He's about to tug the other one on when Steve catches his arm, leaning in to study the shiny metal, crudely drawn on with sharpie.
"That's my shield," Steve mumbles.
"Yeah, it is," Bucky mumbles, his eyes falling to the floor.
A lopsided smile spreads across his lips, but the real smile is in his eyes. "It's great."
Bucky looks up to see Steve's smile and he returns it. He finishes tugging his shirt over his head, ignoring the pull on his ponytail. "Maybe you could tidy it up for me? You're the artist, not me."
"Sure thing, Buck," Steve chuckles.
Steve waves him toward the living room, popping in Star Trek, one of the movies on his list. They eat five bags of popcorn. Bucky marvels at the effects. They watch movies until midnight, when they agree they should probably go to bed, but they end up talking until almost three.
"Night, Bucky," Steve calls when they finally go to bed.
"Night, Steve," Bucky replies. His bed is firm, and though his sleep is still fitful, his dreams are sweet.
A/N: Thanks for the read! There will likely be more coming in the future. Whether it's near or far depends on my laziness... :P Reviews are always appreciated!