Texting started gaining popularity in 1999, but it wasn't until the year 2007 that iPhones came out: then shit got serious and countries started texting each other. This is the story of how one happy-go-lucky idiot, and one stubborn idiot finally get together. It only took a few hundred years. Pairings include Spamano, Fruk and US/UK, PruCan, Gerita, Sufin and others.

Note: This story runs on a 24 hour clock, like all of Europe. Also, in my head cannon, all of the countries have their own private planes to fly around, and the World Meetings happen once a month.

Also Note: Is Gremano (Greece/Romano) a thing?

Part One: Courting

19:05, December 31, 2007, Madrid International Airport, Spain

"Ah, Lovino!"

I turned around rather awkwardly – as I attempted to make eye contact and balance my backpack and suitcases. The stupid tomato bastard was running across the airfield, trying to catch up with me. I handed my bags to one of the flight attendants, before walking back down the staircase to give that idiot one last goodbye.

"What is it bastard? I just said goodbye to you ten minutes ago." I crossed my arms with a huff, ignoring the grating impulse to wipe my hair from my eyes (because these damn propellers won't quit bugging me).

Spain finally caught up to me and bent over slightly to rest his hands on his knees and catch his breath. Finally, he managed, "I…forgot to…give you…your…present."

"You already gave me a present," I sighed and glanced at the tomato-shaped watch on my wrist.

He flashed a smile and stood up. "Well, I have another one." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small silver box-shape-sort-of-thing.

I gave him a dumb look and refused to say anything – for fear that I would sound dumb too – so Spain decided to start.

"It's an iPhone. I thought maybe we could text and call each other while we're apart! It's a lot faster than writing letters~" He winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"That sounds stupid. Why the fuck would I need a cellphone?" I asked and tried to cool down my flushing cheeks with willpower.

"Come on Loviii! Everyone else has one! And this is the fanciest one. Besides, I miss talking to you when you're away," He smiled again, and offered the phone to me.

I made a point to glare at him for a full minute, before uncrossing my arms, sighing dramatically, and snatching the phone from his hand rudely. Then I turned abruptly, and shouted over the propellers, "I'm going to regret this!"

I hesitated at the doorway just long enough to hear the distinct bass of his laughter, then dove into the plane.

~/~

December 31, 2007, Rome, Italy

Lovino's iPhone:

From: Prince Antonio

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:37): hola Lovino!

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:37): hey! r u back yet?

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:38): Loviiiiii im getting worried :(

MISSED CALL from Prince Antonio (10:38)

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:39): Lovii y wont u answer me?

Me (SENT 22:39): You bastard

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:40): LOVI!

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:40): how r u? :)

Me (SENT 22:41): How do I change this

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:41): change what ;)

Me (SENT 22:41): You know what bastard

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:42): ;) ;) ;)

Me (Sent 22:42): You know what, forget it. I'm calling Feli

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:42): aww come on Lovii!

Prince Antonio (SENT 22:43): Lovi? youre not really changing my name r u?

Contact: Tomato Bastard

Mobile Phone: (***) ***-****

Home Phone: (***) ***-****

Me (SENT 22:45): It's done

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:45): noooooooooo! what did u change it to?

Me (SENT 22:46): You'll never know

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:46): i'll tell you what i call u!

Me (SENT 22:47): You think I give a shit about that? Look, I'm going to bed. Good night

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:47): what? it's new years eve! u can't go to bed!

Me (SENT 22:47): I can do whatever the hell I want bastard

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:48): what about feli? dont u guys want to stay up eat twelve grapes?

Me (SENT 22:48): I'm not Spanish idiot. We don't do that

Me (SENT 10:48pm): And anyway, Feli isn't here. He's in Germany

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:49): nooooo Loviiii!

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:49): i thought you guys always celebrated new years eve together!

Me (SENT 22:50): Yeah, well whatever. I'm going to bed

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:50): wait, r you all alone there?

Me (SENT 22:51): Yeah

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:51): MY POOR LOVVVIIII!

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:51): y did u go back if u were going to be alone?

Me (SENT 22:52): I didn't know he wasn't going to be here dipshit. I read the note an hour ago

Me (SENT 22:52): Now, I'm going to drink a bottle of wine and go to bed. So, good night

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:54): Loviii!

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:54): Lovi when is Feli coming back?

Me (SENT 22:58): I don't know. Probably a week from now

Tomato Bastard (SENT 22:58): are u lonely?

Me (SENT 22:58): I don't get lonely bastard

Tomato Bastard (SENT 23:00): i have an idea Lovii! ttyl!

Me (SENT 23:01): What the hell does that mean

Me (SENT 23:01): Spain?

Me (SENT 23:02): What the fuck is ttyl?

Incoming Call from Tomato Bastard (23:58):

"…"

"Lovi! Are you there?"

"Yeah…why are you calling?"

"I'm getting on an airplane!"

"…What the fuck?"

"Ah, well, you said Feli was away in Germany, and you were all alone, so I thought I'd come hang out with you! It's been a long time since I've been in Rome anyway. We can eat pizza and ice cream, and you can show me your new Vespa! And –"

"Spain –"

"And we can go throw coins in all of the fountains, and buy big rolls of cheese, and have a picnic in the Colosseum, and go to the Opera –"

"Spain –"

"Although I don't know if I really like the Opera –

"Spain!"

"Oh what, Lovino?"

"…Happy New Year."

"Oh, what? It's already midnight! You're right! Happy New Year Lovino! I'll see in a few hours!"

"…yeah."

End Call (0:04)

~/~

February 1, 2008, Rome, Italy

Lovino's Phone:

To: Feli

Me (SENT 7:03):Where the fuck is the world meeting

Feli (SENT 7:10):Vee~ Don't you know? You're going to be late~

Me (SENT 7:11):Don't you think I know that? Where is it

Feli (SENT 7:11):Hold on! I'll add you to the group message!

Me (SENT 7:12):The what

From: World Group Message (Including Feli, Potato Bastard1, Potato Bastard2, Belgium, Hamburger Bastard, English Bastard, French Bastard, Matthew, Tomato Bastard, China, Japan, Russia, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Lichtenstein, Switzerland, Hungary, Austrian Bastard, Cat Guy, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Poland, Belarus, Ukraine, Turkey, Egypt, + several others…)

Romano has been added to the group (7:15)

French Bastard (SENT 7:15):Ah, Romano! Bienvenu mon cher!

Me (SENT 7:16):What the fuck is this

Feli (SENT 7:16): It's a group message! We just started it so everyone can keep in touch~

Me (SENT 7:17):When did you make this

Feli (SENT 7:17): Vee~ I don't know, maybe 2 days ago?
Feli (SENT 7:17): Luddy would know!

Me (SENT 7:18):Nevermind, it doesn't matter

Potato Bastard1 (7:18):It was exactly two days ago.

Me (SENT 7:18):Fuck off

Feli (SENT 7:19):That wasn't very nice!

French Bastard (SENT 7:19):Ah, fear not dear Roma! We did not forget about you if that's what you were thinking ;)

Me (SENT 7:20):God dammit, that is NOT what I was thinking
Me (SENT 7:20):Who gives a shit about you guys anyway

French Bastard (SENT 7:21):Ohohohon so I guess you don't need to know where the world meeting is then?

Me (SENT 7:22):Ugh, fine. Where the fuck is it

French Bastard (SENT 7:22):Ah, je ne sais pas.

Me (SENT 7:22):…
Me (SENT 7:23):You going to translate that

Feli (SENT 7:23):He doesn't know either Lovi! We asked Alfred earlier if it was his turn to host but he hasn't responded yet

Me (SENT 7:24):Who gives a shit about him? Just pick another place

Feli (SENT 7:24):Vee~ but I want to go to America again! It's been so long!

French Bastard (SENT 7:24):Oui, I must concur. If we have to go to England again, I'm not sure my stomach can take it

Me (SENT 7:25): You think America is much better?

French Bastard (SENT 7:25):At least they have variety, and some, albeit inferior, French cuisine.

English Bastard (SENT 7:26):I HEARD THAT FROG
English Bastard (SENT 7:26):DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE ME TO THAT HAMBURGER-LOVING FREAK

French Bastard (SENT 7:26):Ohohohon, it seems our English prince is finally awake ;)

English Bastard (SENT 7:27):HOW COULD I NOT WITH ALL OF THE VIBRATING THAT'S GOING ON WITH MY PHONE
English Bastard (Sent 7:27):IT'S LIKE IT'S HAVING A SEISURE

French Bastard (SENT 7:27):Ohohon, that sounds rather risqué ;)

English Bastard (SENT 7:28):THAT'S IT. I'M TURNING MY PHONE OFF

Feli (SENT 7:28): Wait, Arthur don't! We still haven't figured out where the world meeting is!

English Bastard (SENT 7:29):I thought the bloody American was hosting it.

French Bastard (SENT 7:29):Ah, so did we. But he hasn't picked up his phone in the last 24hours.

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 7:30):And he's delaying the meeting indefinitely, which is ruining my schedule.

Me (SENT 7:31):And that's what matters, your damn schedule

Matthew (SENT 7:31):ah you can come over to my place!

English Bastard (SENT 7:32):Who in the bloody hell is that?

Feli (SENT 7:32):I don't have that number either vee~

French Bastard (SENT 7:33):Le gasp! Arthur, how do you not even have our son's phone number?

English Bastard (SENT 7:33):EXCUSE ME? WHO HAS A SON

French Bastard (SENT 7:34):How could you not remember? We practically raised him together…

English Bastard (SENT 7:34):WHAT KIND OF TWISTED FANTASY ARE YOU BLATHERING ON ABOUT

Me (SENT 7:35):For fuck's sake, it's Matthew

English Bastard (SENT 7:35):AND HE'S WHOSE SON?

French Bastard (SENT 7:36):Oh, mon dieu.
French Bastard (SENT 7:36): I am so sorry Matthew. You have one father who loves you

Matthew (SENT 7:37):um, yeah

Feli (SENT 7:37): Where do you live Matthew? ~

Matthew (SENT 7:38): in Ottawa!

Potato Bastard2 (SENT 7:38): Where the hell is that

French Bastard (SENT 7:38): Ah, Gilbert! You're finally awake!
French Bastard (SENT 7:39): Do you perchance know where Tonie is?

Potato Bastard2 (SENT 7:39): Yeah hes right next to me. He couldnt handle my awesomeness last night and ended up passing out on my couch

Me (SENT 7:40): Mio dio, it's in Canada. He's CANADA
Me (SENT 7:40): And tell that tomato bastard to get his lazy ass off your couch and get ready. This is exactly why he's in a recession

Feli (SENT 7:41): Vee~ I don't think you have much room to talk Lovi(:

Me (SENT 7:41): Shut the fuck up, we're part of the same country

Feli (SENT 7:42): I think I'm doing a lot better than your half though heehee!

Me (SENT 7:42): Because your stupid ass potato bastard boyfriend helps you out

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 7:42): I do not.

Feli (SENT 7:42): He does not!

French Bastard (SENT 7:43): Mon dieu, stop all of this nonsense! There are more important things than money
French Bastard (SENT 7:43): Like l'amour ;) ;) ;)

English Bastard (SENT 7:44): Bloody hell, this is exactly why you're in a recession too

Me (SENT 7:45): God we suck. Is there anyone here not in a recession?

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 7:45): Me.

Potato Bastard2 (SENT 7:46): And me too, thanks to my awesomenesssssss!

Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:47): HEY GUYS I FOUND MY PHONE :D

English Bastard (SENT 7:47): WHERE IN THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU BEEN

French Bastard (SENT 7:48): Alfred you have no idea how happy I am that you're alive.
French Bastard (SENT 7:48): We were this close to going to England again. Oh, mon dieu

English Bastard (SENT 7:49): WANKER

Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:49): now, now don't worry because the HERO is here :D
Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:49): meet at my place in DC 8am my time tomorrow!

Me (SENT 7:50): Shit we're going to America

Feli (SENT 7:50): Yay!~

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 7:50): I'm going to have to rearrange my schedule now…

English Bastard (SENT 7:51): So not only do you take your sweet time replying, but you're delaying the meeting a day later? Typical

French Bastard (SENT 7:51): Ah, don't worry mon cher ami ;) My flight stops in London tonight, so you won't be lonely for very long

Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:52): come visit me Artie!
Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:52): i wanna see u!

English Bastard (SENT 7:52): Really?

Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:53): yeah man! you can help me clean this place up! its totally trashed lol
Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:57): artie?
Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:57: hellooooooooooo
Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:57): did everyone turn their phones off or something?

French Bastard (SENT 7:58): Ah, doux, muet Alfred. You never learn
French Bastard (SENT 7:58): A demain mon cher

Hamburger Bastard (SENT 7:59): english man! i don't know what that means!
Hamburger Bastard (SENT 8:01): whatever dude

February 1, 2008, London International Airport, England

Lovino's Phone:

From: Tomato Bastard

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:10): Lovvviiiiiiiiiiii
Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:10): u excited to go to america :) :)

Me (SENT 16:11): Fuck no

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:11): aww don't worry i'll be there to keep you company!
Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:15): Loviiiii

Me (SENT 16:15): Argh, stop whining! I'm sort of distracted because I don't know where Feli went

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:16): ooohh where did he go

Me (SENT 16:16): IDIOTA didn't I just say I was trying to figure that out?
Me (SENT 16:17): Oh, I found him

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:17): yay! good job Lovi!

Me (SENT 16:18): Fuck
Me (SENT 16:18): He's with the Potato Bastard. What the hell is he doing here?

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:19): here as in…

Me (SENT 16:19): The London airport. Feli wanted to stop here since we already had to stop for fuel and shit. Figures he'd plan to meet him

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:20): don't be sad Lovi :(
Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:20): why don't u smile for me?!

Me (SENT 16:22): Fuck, he's eating with him. He's eating PRETZELS WITH HIM
Me (SENT 16:22): What kind of twisted, fucked up German fantasy is this

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:23): did u just ignore me? i'm hurt Lovi :(

Me (SENT 16:23): Then don't say such stupid things

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:24): it was not stupid, u should smile more!

Me (SENT 16:24): As if I'd have a reason to
Me (SENT 16:24): FUCK NO
Me (SENT 16:24): THE OTHER BASTARDS ARE HERE TOO

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:25): gilbert and francis?
Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:25): sounds like a happy airport! ;) mind if i join?

Me (SENT 16:26): It is NOT happy, it sucks

Me (SENT 16:26): It's like God picked my least favorite people (minus the American bastard), and put them in this twisted German-pretzel eating fantasy

Me (SENT 16:27): Damn it, and they're all ignoring me too!

Tomato Bastard (16:27): haha that's because you're hiding Lovi

Me (SENT 16:28): It's not as if I'd actually want to hang out with them
Me (SENT 16:28): But it's like Feli completely forgot about me God damn it

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:29): i'd never forget about u Lovii!
Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:29): want to get a pizza?

Me (SENT 16:30): Not by myself idiota

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:31): i meant with me!

Me (SENT 16:31): What are you hanging out in the London airport too?

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:32): would it be cool if I was ;)

Me (SENT 16:32): I hate your smiley faces
Me (SENT 16:33): But, I guess you're better than those idiots
Me (SENT 16:33): Even though you're still an idiot, at least you have the good sense to like tomatoes
Me (SENT 16:34): And stay away from fucking pretzels

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:34): aww Lovi you're as red as a tomato!

Me (SENT 16:35): I give you a fucking compliment and you insult me?
Me (SENT 16:35): And I am NOT blushing God damn it!

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:36): yes you are! it's so cuteee!

Me (SENT 16:37): I AM NOT
Me (SENT 16:37): Wait. Are you here?

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:38): maybe ;)

Me (SENT 16:38): You fucking asshole. You are here aren't you?
Me (SENT 16:39): You teased me with pizza, and led me on while you were watching me like a stalker
Me (SENT 16:39): And you let me stand here by myself. All alone in the fucking airport
Me (SENT 16:40): When I find you I'm going to punch you so hard
Me (SENT 16:40): Where the hell are you bastard

Tomato Bastard (SENT 16:41): right behind u ;)

~/~

February 2, Washington D.C., U.S.A.

Antonio's iPhone:

From: Bad Touch Trio (Including Francis and Gilbert)

Francis (SENT 8:21): That American sure can talk, no?

Gilbert (SENT 8:22): He should give the awesome me a chance to talk
Gilbert (SENT 8:22): Mein gott Im so borreeddd

Francis (SENT 8:23): Ah, I am in the same boat mon cher. My sweet Angleterre has stopped paying attention to me. He even turned off his phone

Gilbert (SENT 8:24): He's making googly eyes at Alfred
Gilbert (SENT 8:24): It's kind of disgusting

Francis (SENT 8:25): Antoine, you've been rather quiet
Francis (SENT 8:25): What's going on down at your end of the table?

Me (SENT 8:26): oh, i've been passing notes with Lovi!

Francis (SENT 8:26): Really? That sounds like progress

Me (SENT 8:27): well, actually i've been passing him drawings and he's been crumpling them up
Me (SENT 8:27): but i did get a hint of a smile!

Francis (SENT 8:28): Ah, Antoine…
Francis (SENT 8:28): How long will you keep up with this act?

Me (SENT 8:29): what do u mean?

Francis (SENT 8:29): Just ask him out already. Stop beating around the bush. L' amour does not wait forever, even if we are countries

Me (SENT 8:30): i don't think that's a good idea

Francis (SENT 8:30): And why not?

Me (SENT 8:31): because Lovi is so important to me!
Me (SENT 8:31): i can't risk asking him and ruining the precious friendship we have

Francis (SENT 8:32): Le sigh…does he even consider you a friend?

Me (SENT 8:32): of course he does!
Me (SENT 8:33): i think
Me (SENT 8:33): lemme ask him!

To: Mi Querido Lovi

Me (SENT 8:34): Lovviiii :)

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:34): Oh, you've given up on art now?

Me (SENT 8:35): never! i just have something to ask you
Me (SENT 8:35): stop glaring Lovi, it's not a big deal
Me (SENT 8:36): do you consider me your friend?
Me (SENT 8:39): Lovi?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:40): What the hell kind of question is that bastard?
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:40): Why else would I come to your shitty house, and eat your stupid, Spanish churros

Me (SENT 8:41): is that a…yes?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:42): Fucking idiota
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:42): Of course you're my God damn friend!
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:44): Now shut up

Me (SENT 8:44): i didn't say anything

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:45): Your stupid smile is. Everyone in the damn room is staring at you

Me (SENT 8:46): i don't think i can ever stop smiling Lovi

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:46): Fucking hell. Forget I said anything you idiot

Me (SENT 8:47): but i'm your idiot ;)

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:47): SHUT UP
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:48): God damn it, they're staring at me now

Me (SENT 8:48): that's because you're cute when you blush :)

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:49): I AM NOT CUTE
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:49: AND I AM NOT BLUSHING
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:49): Oh, fuck it I'm turning off my phone

From: Bad Touch Trio (Including Gilbert and Francis)

Gilbert (SENT 8:53): Okay what the hell just happened

Francis (SENT 8:53): Why is Romano blushing like a newlywed?

Me (SENT 8:54): because I'm his friend :D :D :D

~/~

February 13, 2008, Paris, France

Francis's iPhone:

Outgoing Call to Arthur (20:08):

Ring

Ring

Ring

"…Hello?"

"Ah, Arthur bonjour!"

"Francis? Why are you calling?"

"Well, I was just wondering if y –"

"Artie, who are you talking to? Come back here and play video games with me! I'm losing!"

"Shut up you bloody wanker! I'm on the phone! Now – what were you saying Francis?"

"Ah, désolé mon cher! I completely forgot of a meeting I'm supposed to be at."

"A meeting at eight at night? What the hell are you talking abou –"

"I'm afraid it's true! I must get going, but I hope you have a good night. À plus tard!"

End Call (20:10)

February 13, 2008, Berlin, Germany

Gilbert's iPhone:

To: West

Me (SENT 21:45): WEST WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

West (SENT 21:48): What are you talking about?

Me (SENT 21:48): This is the fifth time Elizaveta and I are dating and I wanna do it right!
Me (SENT 21:48): So what are you and Feli doin?

West (SENT 21:49): I don't feel as if I should answer this.

Me (SENT 21:49): Awww come on lil bro I really need your help!

West (SENT 21:50): Fine.
West (SENT 21:50): We're going to Sweden.

Me (SENT 21:51): That seems a bit extreme. Why are you goin all the way up there?

West (SENT 21:51): It's not as if this was my idea. Feli forced me into this.

Me (SENT 21:51): Into what?

West (SENT 21:52): Finland is proposing to Sweden, and he asked Feli and I to document the whole thing.

Me (SENT 21:52): Wait WHAT?
Me (SENT 21:53): I thought they were already married?

West (SENT 21:53): Well, Sweden always calls Finland his wife, but he never actually asked him to marry him. I guess Finland wants to make it legal or something.

Me (SENT 21:54): Wow, never figure the lil guy had the guts.
Me (SENT 21:54): Well, tell me how it goes I guess

West (SENT 21:55): Fine.
West (SENT 21:60): Wait, I thought Elizaveta was going to be there too.

Me (SENT 21:61): Huh?

West (SENT 21:61): Isn't she organizing the whole thing?

Me (SENT 21:62): …I wouldn't be surprised

West (SENT 21:63): She didn't tell you?

Me (SENT 21:64): No, she doesnt tell me much apparently

West (SENT 21:66): Will I see you there then?

Me (SENT 21:68): Yeah…I guess

February 13, 2008, Madrid, Spain

Antonio's iPhone:

To: Mi Querido Lovi

Me (SENT 22:24): Loooovvviiiii
Me (SENT 22:24): what are u doing?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:27): Mio dio, I was trying to fucking sleep

Me (SENT 22:27): really? it's pretty early for u isn't it?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:28): How the hell would you know?

Me (SENT 22:28): well we did live together for a few hundred years, no? ;)

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:29): Bastard. You don't know shit about me
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:29): Now fuck off and leave me alone

Me (SENT 22:30): Lovi what's wrong?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:31): As if you give a shit. Go back to your annoying, idiot friends and happy-go-lucky partying and leave me alone

Me (SENT 22:31): Lovino what happened?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:32): Fuck. Nothing happened. I just had a shitty day and all I want to do is sleep and avoid a shitty tomorrow
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:32): Now leave me alone

Me (SENT 22:33): not until you tell me what happened Lovi.
Me (SENT 22:34): please don't ignore me
Me (SENT 22:37): Romano stop this

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:37): Don't call me that. You're not my fucking boss anymore

Me (SENT 22:38): you still call me spain

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:40): What else would I call you?

Me (SENT 22:41): antonio! or tony would be cute
Me (SENT 22:41): wait you're distracting me

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:42): It wasn't even that hard too

Me (SENT 22:43): why can't you just talk to me for once?
Me (SENT 22:43): feli trusts me, why don't you?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:44): You want me to be like Feli?

Me (SENT 22:44): i didn't say that! stop putting words in my mouth
Me (SENT 22:45): i just want to help Lovi
Me (SENT 22:45): but don't u think it'd be easier to give in sometimes and talk to people like feli does

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:46): Yeah, well sorry to disappoint you again, but I'm not Feli. I can't be carefree and charming. I can't trust people enough to talk to them about my stupid feelings. I mess up everything and people don't like me. And I'm always angry and scared and so damn red
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 22:47): I'm going to turn off my phone, and I'm not turning it on until two days from now so leave me alone

Me (SENT 22:47): Lovi don't do that!
Me (SENT 22:49): Lovi?
Me (SENT 22:50): oh Lovi, it sounds like you're keeping yourself alone without my help
Me (SENT 22:54): call me when u turn your phone on, okay?
Me (SENT 22:57): te amo Lovi

~/~

February 14, 2008, Madrid, Spain

Antonio's iPhone:

From: The Bad Touch Trio (Including Gilbert and Francis)

Francis (SENT 0:00): Happy Valentine's Day mes amis
Francis (SENT 0:00): Though I can't say I feel very happy right now

Me (SENT 0:02): yeah, i'm right there with amigo

Gilbert (SENT 0:03): Same here

Me (SENT 0:03): what do u have to be upset about gil?

Francis (SENT 0:04): Oui, you're the only one with a lover on this special day

Gilbert (SENT 0:04): Im not sure about that anymore
Gilbert (SENT 0:05): Apparently shes been doin some covert party work for Sweden and Finland. The only reason she wouldnt tell me is if she was hanging out with Roddy because of this

Francis (SENT 0:05): That doesn't mean they're together again mon cher!

Me (SENT 0:06): they're probably just hanging out as friends!

Gilbert (SENT 0:06): They probably are hanging out as friends
Gilbert (SENT 0:07): But that just means Elizaveta wants to be more than friends with him again, because shes bored with me…again

Francis (SENT 0:07): Oh, Gil…

Me (SENT 0:08): do you think you're going to break up again?

Gilbert (SENT 0:08): Yeah, for the 6th time

Francis (SENT 0:09): Maybe this time should be the last. I don't think it's healthy for either of you to float in and out of a relationship

Gilbert (SENT 0:10): I guess…
Gilbert (SENT 0:10): Does that mean we're all alone for Valentines Day?

Me (SENT 0:11): yeah, unfortunately

Gilbert (SENT 0:11): What happened to you Tony?

Me (SENT 0:12): i don't know, i think Lovi was in a bad mood today, and i must have made it worse. he said to leave him alone for two days

Francis (SENT 0:12): Well that's rather peculiar

Gilbert (SENT 0:13): Aw, Im sorry buddy
Gilbert (SENT 0:13): At least you have the awesome me to keep you company

Me (SENT 0:14): thanks guys
Me (SENT 0:14): wait, what happened to u francis?

Francis (SENT 0:15): Ah, je ne sais pas. I'm always rather melancholy on this day

Me (SENT 0:15): aww well, i'll drink with you tomorrow francis
Me (SENT 0:16): we can drink wine all day and night

Francis (SENT 0:17): How romantic. I cannot wait
Francis (SENT 0:17): Why don't we drink at my house this time, since Gilbert's took a beating last time we did this

Gilbert (SENT 0:18): That sounds like an awesome plan. Ill bring beer as well if you guys get sick of your pansy wine

Me (SENT 0:19): thanks gil

Francis (SENT 0:20): Mes amis, even we're all broken hearted, at least we have each other

Gilbert (SENT 0:20): Even if theres another world war, we'll have each other!

Me (SENT 0:21): through sickness and health, till death do us part

Francis (SENT 0:22): Unfortunately, that's as close as any of us will ever get to marriage, isn't it

Gilbert (SENT 0:22): Verdammt

Me (SENT 0:23): it would seem so

~/~

February 16, 2008, Rome, Italy

Lovino's iPhone:

From: Feli

Feli (SENT 13:45): Lovvviii
Feli (SENT 13:47): I rang the doorbell five times, are you in there?
Feli (SENT 13:48): I'm all alone out here :(

Me (SENT 13:49): What do you want

Feli (SENT 13:49): I'm back from Sweden! So I came to visit you(:

Me (SENT 13:50): What day is it

Feli (SENT 13:50): Vee~ It's a Saturday!

Me (SENT 13:51): I meant the number idiota

Feli (SENT 13:51): Oooh, it's the 16th!
Feli (SENT 13:54): Lovi? Are you going to let me in now?

Me (SENT 13:54): I can't believe that bastard actually listened to me

Feli (SENT 13:55): Vee~ are you talking about Tony? Did something happen?

Me (SENT 13:55): Nothing happened. I was just pissed at him like I usually am, and told him to leave me alone for two days

Feli (SENT 13:56): Aww Lovii :( Have you been in bed this whole time?

Me (SENT 13:57): So what if I have? I can do whatever the hell I want

Feli (SENT 13:57): Vee~ I have an idea Lovi, why don't you ask Tony out for dinner today?

Me (SENT 13:57): That's a terrible idea

Feli (SENT 13:58): You guys could double date with Luddy and I!

Me (SENT 13:58): That's a fucking terrible idea
Me (SENT 13:59): And anyway why the hell would I ask him that?
Me (SENT 13:59): It's not as if he'd say yes
Me (SENT 14:00): I was pretty mean to him the other day

Feli (SENT 14:00): Then you should apologize!

Me (SENT 14:01): Fuck no. He deserved it
Me (SENT 14:01): He keeps giving me hope with those stupid green eyes, and those stupid smiles, and those stupid smiley face text messages
Me (SENT 14:02): And then he still treats me like he's still my boss god damn it

Feli (SENT 14:02): Vee~ Lovi have you ever been a relationship?

Me (SENT 14:04): What kind of shitty question is that?

Feli (SENT 14:04): Maybe Tony still sees you as a kid because you let him!
Feli (SENT 14:05): I mean you haven't changed much since then ;)

Me (SENT 14:05): Fuck you, I've changed
Me (SENT 14:06): And I've been on plenty of dates, thank you

Feli (SENT 14:06): I said relationships, not dates! There's a difference!

Me (SENT 14:07): Who the fuck would I go out with? This world is full of idiots

Feli (SENT 14:08): Well, who do you like?
Feli (SEN 14:10): Or do you hate less?

Me (SENT 14:10): I don't know, Belgium's nice, and the cat guy is sort of cool I guess

Feli (SENT 14:11): Yay! You should start talking to those people!

Me (SENT 14:12): We'll see

Feli (SENT 14:14): Oh Lovi?

Me (SENT 14:15): What now

Feli (SENT 14:15): Can you let me in? :)

~/~

February 28, 2008, Rome, Italy

Lovino's iPhone:

From: World Group Message (Including Feli, Potato Bastard1, Potato Bastard2, Belgium, Hamburger Bastard, English Bastard, French Bastard, Matthew, Tomato Bastard, China, Japan, Russia, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Lichtenstein, Switzerland, Hungary, Austrian Bastard, Cat Guy, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Poland, Belarus, Ukraine, Turkey, Egypt, + several others...)

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:00): Okay, because of how unorganized the last World Meeting was, we're going to decide on this two days in advance.

Feli (SENT 10:01): Noo, Luddy you're wrong! Tomorrow's the first day of March!

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:01): We already went over this Feli, it's a leap year this year so February has an extra day.

Feli (SENT 10:02): Vee~ Oh yeah!

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:02): Anyway, according to my chart, it's either Hungary's turn, or Canada's.
Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:03): Does anyone have a preference?

Feli (SENT 10:03): I prefer Hungary!

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:04): I know Feli, we're in the same room. You don't have to yell at me and text.

French Bastard (SENT 10:05): Ah, l'amour.
French Bastard (SENT 10:05): I must say I prefer my darling Canada ;)

English Bastard (SENT 10:06): I guess Canada as well

French Bastard (SENT 10:06): Se qui se passe? Has your second father finally started caring about you Matthew?

English Bastard (SENT 10:07): Bloody wanker, don't make me change my decision

French Bastard (SENT 10:07): Je suis silencieux ;)

Tomato Bastard (SENT 10:08): i'm good with either!

Me (SENT 10:08): Have a fucking opinion bastard

Tomato Bastard (SENT 10:09): okay!
Tomato Bastard (SENT 10:10): i'm good with whatever Lovi wants! :D

Me (SENT 10:10): Bastard

Me (SENT 10:10): I'll go with Canada

Unknown Number was added to the World Group Message (10:11)

Unknown number (SENT 10:12): Or you can come visit mee!

Me (SENT 10:12): Who the fuck is that

French Bastard (SENT 10:13): Je ne sais pas. I do not have this number either

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:13): I don't think he's on the list.

English Bastard (SENT 10:14): Bloody hell. It's Sealand

Me (SENT 10:14): Who the fuck added him to the group message?

English Bastard (SENT 10:15): I don't know! I never see the kid!

Sweden (SENT 10:15): I added him

Francis (SENT 10:16): You added him? Why?

Sweden (SENT 10:16): Because he's m' son

Me (SENT 10:17): Here we go again

English Bastard (SENT 10:17): HE IS NOT YOUR BLOODY SON

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:18): Doesn't matter whose son he is, he's not part of the World Meeting.

Unknown Number (SENT 10:18): But I'm a country!

English Bastard (SENT 10:19): NO, YOU'RE NOT

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:19): Technically, you're not.
Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:20): Sweden, please remove Sealand from the group message.

Sweden (SENT 10:21): But he's m'son

Feli (SENT 10:21): He's too young to be a country Sweden! You have to raise him first!

Me (SENT 10:22): Mio dio

Sweden (SENT 10:22): I see. Peter is still a child

Unknown Number (SENT 10:23): I am not!

Sweden (SENT 10:23): M'wife and I will raise him, and then he'll be ready

Unknown Number Was Removed from the World Group Message (10:24)

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:24): Well then, does anyone else have an opinion?

Russia (SENT 10:25): I want to go to Canada :^)
Russia (SENT 10:25): What about you Baltic States?

Lativia (SENT 10:26): Canada!

Estonia (SENT 10:26): Canada

Lithuania (SENT 10:26): Canada!

Russia (SENT 10:27): I think it's settled then :^)

Potato Bastard1 (SENT 10:28): Fine. We'll meet at Canada's place in Ottawa, 8am on March 1st.

~/~

March 1, 2008, Ottawa, Canada

Antonio's iPhone:

To: The Bad Touch Trio (Including Gilbert and Francis)

Me (SENT 8:04): hola! do u know where Lovi is sitting? i can't find him

Francis (SENT 8:05): He's no where near me or Angleterre.
Francis (SENT 8:05): Have you noticed the glares he's been giving the Americain? They're quite adorable

Gilbert (SENT 8:07): Oh I see him
Gilbert (SENT 8:07): Hes sitting next to Greece

Me (SENT 8:08): greece?

Francis (SENT 8:08): Mon dieu, what is he doing there?
Francis (SENT 8:09): Has our dear Tonie missed his chance?

Gilbert (SENT 8:09): It looks like they're just talking

Francis (SENT 8:10): Are they friends?

Gilbert (SENT 8:10): I guess so
Gilbert (SENT 8:11): What do you think Tony?

To: My Darling Lovi

Me (SENT 8:12): Loviiiii i can't find you where are you sitting?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:13): I'm near the front bastard

Me (SENT 8:13): i see u!
Me (SENT 8:14): ooh, i like your shirt today! que hermoso!

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:14): What the fuck does that mean?

Me (SENT 8:15): what are u doing so far away from me Lovi :( we always pass notes during meetings

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:16): I can sit wherever the hell I want

Me (SENT 8:16): but i miss uuuu!

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 8:17): No, you don't

March 1, 2008, Ottawa, Canada

Feliciano's iPhone:

To: Luddy

Me (SENT 8:32): Luddyyyy how are you doing?

Luddy (SENT 8:33): Feli, you shouldn't text during the meeting. Try to pay attention to Austria.

Me (SENT 8:33): Vee~ but I'm bored!
Me (SENT 8:34): What do you want to eat for lunch?

Luddy (SENT 8:34): It doesn't matter. As long as it's quick. I have to get back to Germany by tonight.

Me (SENT 8:35): Okay! How about we get pasta ;)
Me (SENT 8:35): Are there any Italian restaurants in Canada?

Luddy (SENT 8:36): Most likely.
Luddy (SENT 8:36): Do you mind if Gilbert joins us?

Me (SENT 8:37): No of course not!
Me (SENT 8:37): Does he not have anyone to eat with?

Luddy (SENT 8:38): I think he's just been a bit depressed since he broke up with Hungary.

Me (SENT 8:39): Aww poor Gil :( We should try to match him up with somebody!

Luddy (SENT 8:39): That sounds like a terrible idea Feli.

Me (SENT 8:40): No, I think it's good! He can get over his broken heart faster!

Luddy (SENT 8:40): Fine…who did you have in mind?

Me (SENT 8:41): Canada!

Luddy (SENT 8:41): Canada? I thought you didn't even know who he was?

Me (SENT 8:42): I remember him now! I think they'd be perfect for each other!

Luddy (SENT 8:42): Really? He seems rather quiet for Gilbert. I thought your brother would be more suitable.

Me (SENT 8:43): LOVINO?

Luddy (SENT 8:43): What?

Me (SENT 8:44): Heehee! No, Luddy they're too alike!
Me (SENT 8:44): That's why Matthew would be good for Gilbert!
Me (SENT 8:45): Opposites attract ;)

Luddy (SENT 8:46): Are you hinting at the fact that we're opposites?

Me (SENT 8:46): Vee~

Luddy (SENT 8:47): What about Romano then? Does he want to come to lunch with us?

Me (SENT 8:47): Mm, I don't think so. I think he has other plans ;)

Luddy (SENT 8:48): What does that mean?
Luddy (SENT 8:49): Feli?

Feli (SENT 8:49): It's your time to talk Luddy!

March 1, 2008, Ottawa, Canada

Arthur's iPhone:

From: Bloody Alfred

Bloody Alfred (SENT 9:15): hey dude :D What's up?

Me (SENT 9:16): Not much

Bloody Alfred (SENT 9:16): then what's with all of the stares dude? Did I do somethin wrong?

Me (SENT 9:17): You always do something wrong Alfred

Bloody Alfred (SENT 9:18): is that why youre sitting with the stupid French guy?

Me (SENT 9:18): Perhaps. At least he's nice to me

Bloody Alfred (SENT 9:19): no he's not! He's always teasing u!

Me (SENT 9:19): That's just our relationship. It's his way of being nice
Me (SENT 9:20): You'd know if you were around back then

Bloody Alfred (SENT 9:20): are u saying Im 2 young for u?

Me (SENT 9:21): Just pay attention to the meeting Alfred. We'll talk about it later

Bloody Alfred (SENT 9:23): r u going out with the French guy?

Me (SENT 9:24): …I don't think he's the relationship type

March 1, 2008, Ottawa, Canada

Antonio's iPhone:

To: The Bad Touch Trio (Including Gilbert and Francis)

Me (SENT 11:02): hola amigos, what's everyone's plan for lunch?

Francis (SENT 11:03): Ah, I'm getting lunch with Angleterre ;)

Me (SENT 11:03): really? are he and alfred broken up?

Francis (SENT 11:04): It would appear so. Vive le resistance!

Me (SENT 11:04): good for u francis!
Me (SENT 11:05): it seems as though Lovi has other plans so i'm not sure what i'm doing anymore

Gilbert (SENT 11:06): You can join me. Im being pathetic and joining West and Feli for lunch

Me (SENT 11:06): i might have to join u then. gracias

Francis (SENT 11:07): So does that mean our young Romano has blossomed into a man now?

Me (SENT 11:07): what the hell francis?

Francis (SENT 11:08): What? I was only saying it seems as though our sweet, innocent Romano has finally passed one of the stepping stones into adulthood

Gilbert (SENT 11:08): I thought he was just going out with Greece

Francis (SENT 11:09): That's what I meant

Me (SENT 11:09): he is not going out with anybody! he would've told me, and i would know, and there's no way Lovi could be in love with somebody!

Francis (SENT 11:10): Somebody else you mean?
Francis (SENT 11:10): Face it, you let him slip away right into the arms of a questionably more attractive man than yourself

Me (SENT 11:11): that is not true on so many levels!
Me (SENT 11:12): i am way more handsome than greece for one
Me (SENT 11:12): and there's now way Lovi is going out with him!

Francis (SENT 11:13): Are you sure?

Me (SENT 11:13): yes!

Francis (SENT 11:14): Really?

Me (SENT 11:16): yes!

March 1, 2008, Ottawa, Canada

Francis's iPhone:

Outgoing Call to Antoine (12:47)

Ring

Ring

"Hola!"

"Ah, bonjour Antoine! How is lunch going with the young couple and Gilbert?"

"It's going fine! It's been a long time since I talked to Feli, I forgot how much I missed him!

"Vee~ I missed you too Tony! You need to come visit me in Florence some time!"

"Well that's good. I was just calling to let you know your other, dear Italian is having lunch with a certain tall, dark and handsome Greek."

"What seriously? Are you watching them right now?"

"Yes, I –

"YES, HE BLOODY WELL IS. AND IT'S BLOODY ANNOYING."

"Was that Arthur? Wait, are you at lunch with him?

"Ah –

"YES, HE IS. EXCEPT WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN A CHANCE TO EAT YET BECAUSE THIS BLOODY FROG KEEPS TAKING VOYEUR SHOTS OF YOUR DAMN ITALIAN AND THAT BLOODY GREEK."

"What? Can you send me a photo Francis?"

"I will mon cher! But it seems as if I have to cut our conversation short, our dear Angleterre is getting rather flustered. He keeps gesturing that I should end this phone call –"

"DAMN IT ALL. I'LL DO IT."

End Phone Call (12:50)

To: The Bad Touch Trio (Including Antoine and Gilbert)

Me (SENT 12:52): *attached image

Antoine (SENT 12:53): noooooooooooooo! my Lovi D:

Me (SENT 12:53): Well let's not get carried away here. It's not as if they're swept away into the waves of passion

Antoine (SENT 12:54): but he looks happy!

Me (SENT 12:54): Really? He's frowning

Antoine (SENT 12:55): it's not his unhappy frown though :( :(
Antoine (SENT 12:55): i have to work so hard to get that frown

Me (SENT 12:56): I very much like his outfit. It's tres chic
Me (SENT 12:56): That shirt goes so well with his Armani jeans
Me (SENT 12:57): Red is very much his color

Antoine (SENT 12:57): i knowwwww! i love it when he blushes D:

Me (SENT 12:58): I said I was talking about his shirt

Antoine (SENT 12:58): he looks so good in that too! mi tomate!

Gilbert (SENT 13:00): Wow, is that Romano? Doesnt even look like him
Gilbert (SENT 13:00): Does he look tanner to anyone else

Me (SENT 13:01): Ah, so you noticed that too?
Me (SENT 13:01): Yes, there's definitely a sun-kissed look to his skin
Me (SENT 13:02): Perhaps he's been spending time in Greece?

Gilbert (SENT 13:02): But its only march

Me (SENT 13:03): Ah, but l' amour keeps you warm ;)

Antoine (SENT 13:04): francis don't even joke about that

Gilbert (SENT 13:04): Hey Tony are you ok? You look like youre about to cry

Antoine (SENT 13:05): i just miss my Lovi :(
Antoine (SENT 13:05): why can't he live in spain with me again
Antoine (SENT 13:06): then we can grow tomatoes together and take siestas, and I won't have to share him with all of these weirdos :(

Gilbert (SENT 13:06): Wait are you calling us weirdos

Me (SENT 13:07): Ah mon cher, it sounds like you want to marry him

Antoine (SENT 13:09): …would that be bad?

Me (SENT 13:09): Mon dieu, are you finally admitting you like him romantically Antoine?

Antoine (SENT 13:10): i don't know :( i mean i've always loved Lovi

Me (SENT 13:11): Yes, but do you love him romantically

Antoine (SENT 13:11): what does that even mean?

Gilbert (SENT 13:12): And I thought my awesome self was dense

Me (SENT 13:12): Maybe you can have Gil explain it to you

Antoine (SENT 13:13): wait r u sure francis? i thought u had more experience with stuff like this

Gilbert (SENT 13:13): Hey! I'm known as the Awesome Heart Breaker of Europe you know!

Me (SENT 13:14): Well for now you'll have to make due with Gil. I have to go

Antoine (SENT 13:14): whhhyyyyy?

Me (SENT 13:15): Because Arthur just dumped his tea on my head

March 1, 2008, Ottawa International Airport, Canada

Lovino's iPhone:

To: Feli

Me (SENT 16:32): Feli, I don't think any of this is working

Feli (SENT 16:35): What do you mean Lovi?

Me (SENT 16:35): I just don't think this whole thing with Greece is helping
Me (SENT 16:36): I think Spain is really mad at me

Feli (SENT 16:36): What? Why do u think that?

Me (SENT 16:37): He seemed really depressed at the world meeting, and he didn't throw drawings at me like usual

Feli (SENT 16:37): Vee~ but you sat so far away from him Lovi!

Me (SENT 16:38): HE HAS AN ARM, HE COULD'VE THROWN THEM
Me (SENT 16:39): And then the weirdest thing just happened

Feli (SENT 16:39): What?

Me (SENT 16:40): I said hi to him two minutes ago, because we were both standing in line for coffee
Me (SENT 16:40): Then he turned around and stared at me with wide eyes
Me (SENT 16:41): Then he turned red and ran the hell away from me
Me (SENT 16:41): He also left his wallet at the cash register, so I'm trying to find the stupid bastard to give it back to him

Feli (SENT 16:42): Vee~ that sounds interesting~

Me (SENT 16:43): Ugh, do you know what's wrong with him

Feli (SENT 16:43): Maybe ;) it might have something to do with lunch~

Me (SENT 16:44): What the hell does that mean
Me (SENT 16:44): Is that code for food poisoning or something

Feli (SENT 16:45): Heehee I know where Tony is if you need to give him his wallet back~
Feli (SENT 16:45): He's with Gilbert getting frozen yogurt!

Me (SENT 16:46): That sounds fucking disgusting
Me (SENT 16:47): I guess I'll go find the damn bastard then

Feli (SENT 16:47): Good luck! ~

March 1, 2008, Ottawa International Airport, Canada

Antonio's iPhone:

To: The Bad Touch Trio (Including Gilbert and Francis

Me (SENT 17:14): we have a problem! D:

Gilbert (SENT 17:15): Tony! Whered you go man?

Francis (SENT 17:16): What happened mon ami? Gilbert was getting worried about you

Me (SENT 17:16): did u tell him what happened gil?

Francis (SENT 17:17): He just told me you took off after Romano handed you your wallet
Francis (SENT 17:17): What happened?

Me (SENT 17:18): it's all gil's fault :(

Gilbert (SENT 17:18): How the hell is it my fault?

Me (SENT 17:19): you're the one who explained to me what love feels like!

Gilbert (SENT 17:20): You're thousands of years old, you should already know!
Gilbert (SENT 17:20): And it wasn't just me, Feli helped too

Francis (SENT 17:21): Wait, are you saying you're in love with Romano, Antoine?

Me (SENT 17:21): yes :(

Francis (SENT 17:22): Then what's with the frowny face?

Me (SENT 17:22): because i already messed everything up!
Me (SENT 17:23): i still treat him like i did when he was living in spain, and he probably still thinks of me as his boss

Francis (SENT 17:23): I don't think Romano ever thought of you as his boss

Me (SENT 17:24): doesn't matter! he still sees me more as family than a lover :(

Francis (SENT 17:25): You're the country of passion, aren't you? You can win him over ;)

Me (SENT 17:25): how? i feel like whenever i'm around him i act like an idiot

Francis (SENT 17:26): That's because you do. But you act like an idiot when you're with Gil and I too

Me (SENT 17:26): but that's the problem! Lovi doesn't see me as a cool, suave guy

Gilbert (SENT 17:27): LOL does anyone see you that way?

Francis (SENT 17:27): Hardly the time Gilbert
Francis (SENT 17:28): Listen Tonie, now that you know how you feel about Romano (took you long enough) you should take some babysteps to make your feelings known to him

Me (SENT 17:28): like what?

Francis (SENT 17:29): Mon dieu, I'm surrounded by idiots
Francis (SENT 17:29): Well, you can start by stop clinging to him like you're his older, doting brother
Francis (SENT 17:30): And do more intentional things. Like ask him to dinner and compliment him

Me (SENT 17:30): but i already do that!

Francis (SENT 17:31): Yes, but it never seems serious. You always treat it so casually
Francis (SENT 17:31): Basically you need to act more like an adult

Gilbert (SENT 17:32): Like the awesome me :^)

Francis (SENT 17:32): Preferably not at all like Gilbert. You don't want to get Romano madder than he already is
Francis (SENT 17:33): In any case, why don't you come out from wherever you're hiding and get dinner with Gilbert and I before our flights leave

Me (SENT 17:34): okay
Me (SENT 17:34): do you see Lovino anywhere around?

Gilbert (SENT 17:35): The coast is clear

Francis (SENT 17:36): Le sigh

~/~

March 5, 2008, Berlin, Germany

Gilbert's iPhone:

To: Canada

Me (SENT 20:08): Antoniooooo where are youuo

Canada (SENT 20:10): um, i think you might have the wrong number

Me (SENT 20:12): Wait a minute who is thiss

Canada (SENT 20:12): it's canada

Me (SENT 20:13): Canada I was just in Canadada
Me (SENT 20:13): I mean what's your name?

Canada (SENT 20:14): um, matthew

Me (SENT 20:15): Matthew Matthew Matthew Mathheeww Mathtwe
Me (SENT 20:15): Have I met you beforewiuerob

Canada (SENT 20:16): um, are you okay?

Me (SENT 20:16): I'm fine
Me (SENT 20:17): No wait, I'm more than fine! I'M AWESOME I AM THE AWESOMESstT

Canada (SENT 20:17): you're drunk, right? do you need me to call someone for you?

Me (SENT 20:19): I am not dru gnkj
Me (SENT 20:19): I'm just a bit dizzzzzyh and there are all these birds
Me (SENT 20:20): Man, I feelsk so happy right ngw

Canada (SENT 21): where are you prussia? i'll call someone for you

Me (SENT 20:21): What'd you callj me?

Canada (SENT 20:22): um, prussia? that's who you are

Me (SENT 20:23): I'm not Prussia anymore
Me (SENT 20:23): I'm a nobbody
Me (SENT 20:24): I doin't even hhave a country

Canada (SENT 20:24): you have germany don't you?

Me (SENT 20:25): No no no I don't West does
Me (SENT 20:25): He doesn't need me3
Me (SENT 20:26): I'm just sathe invisible brother

Canada (SENT 20:26): i'm sorry gilbert
Canada (SENT 20:28): i can sort of understand how you feel actually

Me (SENT 20;28): You can?1?
Me (SENT 20:29): But Canadada is such a freakin large countryew man

Canada (SENT 20:29): it is, but people don't think about it much. especially when i'm living next to america

Me (SENT 20:30): I'm sorry manenjkn
Me (SENT 20:30): If it means anything I likqqe you a lot more than tha t America gujy
Me (SENT 20:31): You're a lot nicerer and cuter too

Canada (SENT 20:31): um, thanks.
Canada (SENT 20:32): do you need me to call someone for you? like germany?

Me (SENT 20:32): No noo I'm fine I'm always fine. I'm aweesomee!

Canada (SENT 20:34): yeah, i just sent a message to germany telling him to find you and pick you up
Canada (SENT 20:35): will you be okay until he finds you?

Me (SENT 20:35): Yeah yeah I think I'll just take a little napp until he gets here

Canada (SENT 20:36): okay, just call germany if you need anything

Me (SENT 20:37): No no I'll call you I like you betterqe
Me (SENT 20:38): Gute Nachtt

Canada (SENT 20:38): good night gilbert

~/~

March 7, 2008, Madrid, Spain

Antonio's iPhone:

To: Mi Querido Lovi

Me (SENT 9:31): hey lovi what are u up to :)

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:40): Sleeping

Me (SENT 9:41): ah, i'll let u sleep then

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:41): Seriously? Since when has that bothered you bastard

Me (SENT 9:42): since always Lovi! i just want u to be well rested :)

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:43): I don't understand this
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:43): Was there any reason you texted bastard
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:44): Not that I actually care, but since I'm already up, I might as well know

Me (SENT 9:44): well i was just wondering if u want to hang out this afternoon!

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:46): …You're asking me if I want to hang out

Me (SENT 9:46): yeah!

Me (SENT 9:47): is that bad?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:47): It's fucking creepy that's what it is
Mi Querida Lovi (SENT 9:48): Antonio doesn't "ask" when he can hang out with me, you just burst through my door whenever the hell you want
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:52): Now what?

Me (SENT 9:53): you called me Antonio :D

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:54): Shit I did

Me (SENT 9:54): :) :) :) :)

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:55): SHUT IT I didn't mean it
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:56): I'm so tired I mistyped

Me (SENT 9:56): it's a rather large typo ;)

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:57): SHUT UP
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:57): It's not as if I never call you that. I just don't call you that to your face

Me (SENT 9:58): but why not :(

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:58): I don't know it
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 9:59): It just sounds weird
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:01): But whatever, when are you coming over

Me (SENT 10:01): um about that
Me (SENT 10:02): i was wondering if you could come visit me this time

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:02): Why

Me (SENT 10:03): well because my country isn't doing too well my boss decided to cut back on a few things haha
Me (SENT 10:03): soo i don't have my plane anymore

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:04): So let me get this straight
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:04): You woke me up from my beauty sleep at fucking 9:30 in the morning

Me (SENT 10:05): i mean, that's not that early Lovi

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:05): And begged me to come play with you probably to make churros or some shit
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:06): And now you tell me I have to fly to fucking Spain?

Me (SENT 10:06): but u like it here!
Me (SENT 10:07): right?

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:08): Do you have a plan for what we're doing when I get there?

Me (SENT 10:08): well, i did

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:09): You wanted us to make fucking churros didn't you

Me (SENT 10:09): i can change it!

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:10): No
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:10): It's fine
Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:11): You probably spent all of your allowance on churro ingredients, so we might as well eat the damn things

Me (SENT 10:11): so you're coming?!

Mi Querido Lovi (SENT 10:12): Just make sure you have tomatoes in the kitchen

Me (SENT 10:12): of course mi querido tomate!

~/~

March 8, 2008, Paris, France

Francis's iPhone:

To: The Bad Touch Trio (Including Gilbert and Antoine)

Me (SENT 11:23): Bonjour mes amis, it's time for my routine check in with everyone
Me (SENT 11:23): Comment ça va?

Gilbert (SENT 11:24): AWESOME

Me (SENT 11:25): Well Gilbert, that didn't take long
Me (SENT 11:25): I take it you had a good weekend

Gilbert (SENT 11:26): More than good man, it was AWESOME

Me (SENT 11:26): So then tell us. I'm quite curious

Gilbert (SENT 11:27): Well you know how on Wednesday I got totally shitfaced

Me (SENT 11:28): I wasn't there but I heard the story. Wednesday seemed a bit premature

Gilbert (SENT 11:28): Ja, well it's not as if I had anything else to do
Gilbert (SENT 11:29): But anyway, then I tried texting Antonio to come help me because I had no idea where I was

Me (SENT 11:29): Where were you?

Gilbert (SENT 11:30): Oh I was in the bathroom
Gilbert (SENT 11:30): I couldn't remember how to open the door

Me (SENT 11:31): If only I was there with a camera…

Gilbert (SENT 11:31): But anyway, I was really drunk and I was trying to text Antonio so he could get me out of there
Gilbert (SENT 11:32): But I ended up texting Matthew by mistake!

Me (SENT 11:32): Mon cher Canada?

Gilbert (SENT 11:33): Ja!

Me (SENT 11:35): …
Me (SENT 11:35): So then what happened?

Gilbert (SENT 11:36): Oh, we just talked for a while. I don't remember some of it, but I do have the text messages

Me (SENT 11:36): Can we see them?

Gilbert (SENT 11:37): No, they're mine!

Me (SENT 11:37): Excusez-moi

Gilbert (SENT 11:38): Sorry man, we just talked about a lot of stuff that I don't really want to share

Me (SENT 11:38): That's fine mon cher. What else happened?

Gilbert (SENT 11:39): What do you mean?

Me (SENT 11:40): I'm assuming something happened after you talked

Gilbert (SENT 11:40): Oh yeah, well after we talked I fell asleep and at some point West must have found me because I woke up in my bed the next morning
Gilbert (SENT 11:41): And then I checked my phone and Matthew sent me a message asking if I was okay!
Gilbert (SENT 11:41): So then I said I was feeling awesome as usual, and we started talking again

Me (SENT 11:42): Like Romeo and Juliet

Gilbert (SENT 11:42): And now he's coming to visit me in Berlin!

Me (SENT 11:43): Really? I'm quite surprised. What did you say to convince him?

Gilbert (SENT 11:43): I told him I want to hang out and that he has to see the Awesomest Berlin ;^)

Me (SENT 11:43): So…is it like a date?

Gilbert (SENT 11:44): Yeah man!
Gilbert (SENT 11:44): I mean, I didn't say it was
Gilbert (SENT 11:45): But I think it's sort of implied when I ask him to come to Berlin, right?

Me (SENT 11:45): So, you asked my son out on a date without asking for my permission first?

Gilbert (SENT 11:46): He isn't your actual son, is he?

Me (SENT 11:46): He's my son in my heart, isn't that enough?

Gilbert (SENT 11:48): Are you actually waiting for me to ask your permission
Gilbert (SENT 11:49): I'll take that as a yes
Gilbert (SENT 11:49): Um well then, Francis will you let my awesome self date the awesome Matthew?

Me (SENT 11:55): Fine

Gilbert (SENT 11:56): JA!
Gilbert (SENT 11:57): This isn't going to make things weird between us, right?

Me (SENT 11:57): I haven't decided
Me (SENT 11:58): I guess it depends on how your date goes
Me (SENT 11:58): You'd better not screw it up for Matthew

Gilbert (SENT 11:59): When have I ever screwed things up man!
Gilbert (SENT 11:59): I got this in the bag!

Me (SENT 12:01): Le sigh
Me (SENT 12:05): Do you think Tonie is awake yet?

Gilbert (SENT 12:06): He should be
Gilbert (SENT 12:06): I don't think he went out last night

Me (SENT 12:07): How strange…

Antoine (SENT 14:32): hola amigos!

Gilbert (SENT 14:34): Hey man, where have you been?

Me (SENT 14:34): We were starting to wonder

Antoine (SENT 14:35): lo siento! i had to convince my boss to get me a new phone

Me (SENT 14:35): What happened to your old phone?

Antoine (SENT 14:36): ah, i may have broken it haha

Gilbert (SENT 14:36): Did you drop it in the toilet again man. I told you to stop putting it in your back pocket

Antoine (SENT 14:37): no, i didn't drop it haha

Me (SENT 14:38): Then what happened to it?

Antoine (SENT 14:38): i may have thrown it a bit

Me (SENT 14:39): You threw it?

Antoine (SENT 14:39): yeah…

Gilbert (SENT 14:40): I thought you worked through your anger problems man

Antoine (SENT 14:40): i am through with them! i just got sort of frustrated the other day

Me (SENT 14:41): Does this have something to do with our troublesome Romano?

Antoine (SENT 14:41): yeah…
Antoine (SENT 14:42): he came over here the other day to make churros with me. and that was a lot of fun! we made churros and ate them
Antoine (SENT 14:42): well Lovi didn't eat them really, he made them then proceeded to tell me why gelato was so much better
Antoine (SENT 14:43): but anyway, after that we did some gardening and picked tomatoes
Antoine (SENT 14:43): then we went upstairs and took a siesta. i asked Lovi if he wanted to sleep with me and he said no :(

Me (SENT 14:44): Smart boy

Antoine (SENT 14:44): well then when i woke up i went downstairs to make dinner. we were going to have pizza and salad
Antoine (SENT 14:45): eventually Lovi woke up. he's so cute when he wakes up! he's all red and drowsy looking and he can't curse as much
Antoine (SENT 14:45): so we had a nice dinner, and it felt like Lovi was being nicer to me than usual which was bueno.
Antoine (SENT 14:46): then afterwards i asked him if he wanted to watch a movie and he said "whatever bastardo" so we watched a movie

Me (SENT 14:46): I'm starting to see the pattern here

Antoine (SENT 14:47): so then he sat down on the large couch, and i sat down on the love seat. then he asked what i was doing over there, and i said i wanted to sit here, and he said "what are you talking about bastard you always sit on this couch" and i was like "do you want me to sit there"
Antoine (SENT 14:48): and he was like "do what ever you want bastard! i don't care"

Me (SENT 14:48): Does it bother you he calls you bastard so much?

Antoine (SENT 14:49): not really. it's sort of like his pet name for me ;)
Antoine (SENT 14:49): so then i sat on the couch, on the opposite side of him as close to the arm rest i could get

Me (SENT 14:50): Why were you sitting so far away from him in the first place?

Antoine (SENT 14:50): because i was scared! i never used to think about how close i always was with Lovi, but now that i know i'm in love with him it makes everything so complicated
Antoine (SENT 14:51): it's like my heart is always racing out of control and i forget how to breathe and get flustered every time he looks at me

Me (SENT 14:51): See Gilbert, this is exactly how your date with Matthew shouldn't go

Antoine (SENT 14:52): but anyway, a few minutes after i sat on the couch Lovi stood up and started yelling at me: "what the hell's wrong with you bastard?!"
Antoine (SENT 14:52): and i was like "what are you talking about Lovi?"
Antoine (SENT 14:53): and he was like "look i can tell you're still mad at me! just come out and say it! i'm sick of you ignoring me!"
Antoine (SENT 14:53): then i was really confused because i didn't think i was ignoring Lovi at all. i feel like whenever he's in the same room as me i can only listen to him

Me (SENT 14:54): Well that almost sounded romantic Antoine

Antoine (SENT 14:55): oh really? thank you!
Antoine (SENT 14:55): but then after he yelled at me i said "i'm not ignoring you Lovi!"
Antoine (SENT 14:56): then he said "yes you are bastard! you're all quiet and shit and you didn't talk to me during the world meeting" then i interrupted and said "but you were sitting so far away!" and he replied (still yelling), "you have an arm, you could've thrown your stupid drawings!"
Antoine (SENT 14:57): then he continued yelling saying "then you were so weird at the airport! you kept running away from me like i was the ottoman empire or something!"
Antoine (SENT 14:58): i was getting sort of desperate at this point and i tried to calm him down and said, "Lovi i promise i'm not mad at you, i've just have a lot on my mind."
Antoine (SENT 14:58): then he gave me this stare and said "i don't believe you. you keep giving me these strange looks. if you don't like me anymore just say it! don't trick me and hang out with me because you pity me!"

Gilbert (SENT 14:59): This sounds like some sort of TV novella I watched at your place once

Antoine (SENT 14:59): i was sort of running out of excuses, so i just kept saying, "i don't pity you Lovi, i promise! por favor mi tomate, please believe me! te amo!"
Antoine (SENT 15:00): then poor Lovi looked like he was about to cry and yelled, "and stop saying that, you don't mean it! you never mean it!"
Antoine (SENT 15:01): i kept telling him that i did mean it, and i tried to hug him, but he pushed me away and yelled "no you don't! i hate you! just leave me alone you dumb bastard!"
Antoine (SENT 15:02): then he ran away and flew back home

Me (SENT 15:02): Wow, Antoine. I don't know what to say

Gilbert (SENT 15:03): I swear I watched a TV novella just like that

Francis (SENT 15:03): Gilbert

Gilbert (SENT 15:04): Sorry man
Gilbert (SENT 15:04): But Romano gets mad all the time, right? I'm sure he'll get over it

Me (SENT 15:05): I don't think you understand the bigger problem Gilbert
Me (SENT 15:05): The problem is that even if Antoine did try to confess to Romano seriously, it's likely that Romano won't believe him

Gilbert (SENT 15:06): Oh

Antoine (SENT 15:06): it sucks :(

Gilbert (SENT 15:07): So did you throw your phone after that

Antoine (SENT 15:07): yeah… it was the only thing nearby, so i threw it at the door
Antoine (SENT 15:08): my boss was really mad at me

Gilbert (SENT 15:08): You really are poor, aren't you

Antoine (SENT 15:09): not fair! iphones are expensive!

Me (SENT 15:10): I have an idea

Antoine (SENT 15:10): for what?

Me (SENT 15:11): For how you can make Romano believe you
Me (SENT 15:11): You need to prove your love to him

Antoine (SENT 15:12): isn't that what i've already been doing?

Me (SENT 15:13): No, you need to make some sort of grand gesture of love!

Gilbert (SENT 15:13): Like saving him from a dragon!

Me (SENT 15:14): Or serenading him outside of his window with your guitar

Antoine (SENT 15:14): but he lives in downtown rome in an apartment! that just seems hard to do

Me (SENT 15:15): You must overcome obstacles for l' amour mon cher
Me (SENT 15:15): But anyway I'm sure you'll figure it out

Antoine (SENT 15:16): hopefully :(

Gilbert (SENT 15:25): Matthew just called me! He's in Berlin!

Antoine (SENT 15:26): good luck gilbert! you'll do great!

Me (SENT 15:27): Oui, just don't do anything Antoine would do and you'll be fine

Antoine (SENT 15:27): hey! not fair!

Me (SENT 15:28): Tout est juste dans l'amour et la guerre ;)

~/~

March 16, 2008, Munich, Germany

Ludwig's iPhone:

To: Feli

Me (SENT 12:45): You were right.

Feli (SENT 12:58): Vee~ about what Luddy?

Me (SENT 12:58): About Gilbert and Matthew.

Feli (SENT 12:59): Really? Are they going out?

Me (SENT 12:59): It would appear so. He was in Berlin for a while, and now it seems Gilbert is flying to Canada to visit him.

Feli (SENT 13:00): Vee~ doesn't he have work or something?

Me (SENT 13:00): Not really. He just sort of hangs out and says things, but no one really listens to him.

Feli (SENT 13:01): Aww poor Gil :( At least he's found someone though!

Me (SENT 13:02): We'll see. Gilbert doesn't have the best track record.

Feli (SENT 13:02): Hey, don't you trust my science! Those two are going to get married!

Me (SENT 13:03): That seems like a rather extreme prediction.

Feli (SENT 13:03): Vee~ I'm always right about love ;)

Me (SENT 13:04): I doubt that.

Feli (SENT 13:04): Whyyy?

Me (SENT 13:05): It's statistically impossible to be right about everything. Especially whilst concerning something as changeable as love.

Feli (SENT 13:06): I'll prove it to you!

Me (SENT 13:06): How?

Feli (SENT 13:07): I'll predict two other couples!

Me (SENT 13:08): …Fine.

Feli (SENT 13:08): Yay! Okay, let's see. I have a list somewhere in my apartment

Me (SENT 13:09): You have a list?

Feli (SENT 13:10): Vee~ well it's more like a web, since everyone has so many relationships heehee
Feli (SENT 13:11): Okay, I predict Belgium and Hungary!

Me (SENT 13:12): I thought Hungary was going out with Austria?

Feli (SENT 13:13): Ah, they just broke up, so Hungary's on her own again.

Me (SENT 13:13): Do Belgium and Hungary even know each other?

Feli (SENT 13:14): Vee~ I think so. They will soon anyway ;)

Me (SENT 13:14): I hate that you're so confident in this.
Me (SENT 13:15): Alright then, who else?

Feli (SENT 13:15): Turkey and Greece!

Me (SENT 13:16): Isn't Turkey with Egypt?

Feli (SENT 13:17): Noo! That ended like two years ago!
Feli (SENT 13:17): Come on Luddy you have to keep up

Me (SENT 13:18): I'm sorry I don't keep up with gossip.

Feli (SENT 13:18): Ah, it's okay. I'll try to keep you in touch with gossip ;)

Me (SENT 13:19): Whatever.
Me (SENT 13:21): Wait, isn't your brother going out with Greece?

Feli (SENT 13:22): Oh, don't worry about that ;) ;)

Me (SENT 13:22): What does that mean?
Me (SENT 13:23): Feli?
Me (SENT 13:25): Will you stop being so damn cryptic?!

~/~

March 19, 2008, Madrid, Spain

Antonio's iPhone:

Outgoing Call to Mi Querido Lovi (10:02)

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

End Call (10:04)

Outgoing Call to Mi Querida Lovi (10:37)

Ring

Ring

Ring

"…"

"Ah, Lovi is that you?"

"Yeah, I'm sort of busy right now bastardo."

"Okay, I'll make it quick! I was wondering if you were doing something tonight, and if you weren't if you wanted to fly over to Madrid again. My boss still won't let me use my plane haha!"

"Bastard, didn't I just say I'm busy! I don't have time to fly around and entertain you!"

"Lo siento Lovi, I just wanted to see you…"

"…"

"Aren't you coming?"

"Didn't I tell you bastard? I'm busy! Someone's visiting me this weekend, so I don't have time to make churros and take siestas."

"Oh, who's visiting you?"

"What? W-Why do you care?"

"I don't know Lovi I was just curious. Who's visiting you?"

"Um, the…cat guy is."

"…Do you mean Greece?"

"Y-yeah, yeah him."

"Oh."

"…"

"Is it like a…date?"

"W-WHAT? Why do you care? Just – I can do whatever the hell I want bastard!"

"I didn't mean it like that Lovi! I was just asking!"

"…What?"

"I just meant…it's okay if that's what you want."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You bastard. I hate you! You're such an idiota!"

"Lovi I –"

"I don't want to hear what you have to say bastard, just leave me the hell alone!"

End Call (10:45)

~/~

March 22, 2008, Madrid, Spain

Antonio's iPhone:

From: World Group Message (Including Feli, Germany, Gilbert, Belgium, Alfred, Arthur, Francis, Matthew, Mi Querido Lovi, China, Japan, Russia, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Lichtenstein, Switzerland, Hungary, Roderich, Greece, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Poland, Belarus, Ukraine, Turkey, Egypt, + several others…)

Germany (SENT 8:00): Alright everyone, I want to make sure we're staying organized for Greece's National Day coming up.
Germany (SENT 8:00): Does everyone have a ride to Athens?

Poland (SENT 8:04): Wait, like what's going on in Greece

China (SENT 8:05): I have no idea either

Hungary (SENT 8:05): Neither do I!

Francis (SENT 8:06): Mon cher, I'm afraid I do not either

Germany (SENT 8:07): MEIN GOTT. It's on the Word Calendar I passed out at the last meeting. Did any of you even look at it?

Alfred (SENT 8:07): OMG We have a calendar? That's 2 cool man America has a lot of freakin holidays u can put on there :D

Germany (SENT 8:08): JA THERE'S A CALENDAR. What did you think I passed out at every meeting?

Alfred (SENT 8:08): Oooh is that what it was? I thought it was some kind of how-to have a better economy or something. I'll totally read it now that I know it has all the parties listed on it!

Germany (SENT 8:09): You're not wrong Alfred. I also pass out some scholarly advice written by my German economists so that everyone can benefit, because I CANNOT KEEP PULLING ALL THE WEIGHT HERE.

Feli (SENT 8:09): Luddy, calm down! Everything will be okay!

Alfred (SENT 8:10): Yeah, chill man. Everything will be okay. It's not as if we can go into a depression or something

Germany (SENT 8:10): THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

Alfred (SENT 8:11): Wait, r u serious? R u saying that the Great Depression was a real thing?

Germany (SENT 8:11): You were there, weren't you?!

Alfred (SENT 8:12): No way man, I thought that was a bad dream D:

Germany (SENT 8:13): I'm getting a headache.
Germany (SENT 8:14): Getting back to the point, Greece's National Day is on March 25, so I was checking to make sure everyone had a ride since more than one of you dumm Komfs doesn't have a plane anymore.

Me (SENT 8:14): i'm riding with francis!

Iceland (SENT 8:15): Norway's picking me up.

Alfred (SENT 8:18): If anyone else needs a ride I have plenty of super cool jets to go around ;) I'm going to take the whole fleet to Greece and give him an amazing air show!

Germany (SENT 8:19): NEIN. That is exactly how you lose all of your money! Stop spending so frivolously!

Alfred (SENT 8:19): Don't worry so much man, nothing bad ever happens to me ;)

Germany (SENT 8:20): …Just don't expect me to bail you out.
Germany (SENT 8:20): Alright, everyone try to be in Athens around noon. And that's Tuesday, March 25 for all of you with short-term memories.

Alfred (SENT 8:21): Got it! See y'all there! Look out for some super cool planes in the sky everyone!

Germany (SENT 8:22): Verdammt.

~/~

March 24, 2008, Paris, France

Antonio's iPhone:

From: Turkey

Turkey (SENT 22:26): Hey, is this Spain

Me (SENT 22:28): uh, it is. what do u want turkey

Turkey (SENT 22:28): Are you goin to Greece's party tomorrow

Me (SENT 22:29): yeah…

Turkey (SENT 22:29): Are you goin to win back your little Italian

Me (SENT 22:30): what do u mean?

Turkey (SENT 22:31): Didn't you know they were going out?

Me (SENT 22:31): yeah i guess so

Turkey (SENT 22:33): Don't you care?

Me (SENT 22:33): i mean i can't do anything about it. i don't think it'll last right?

Turkey (SENT 22:34): Greece is proposing to him tomorrow

Me (SENT 22:34): WHAT are u serious man?

Turkey (SENT 22:35): Of course

Me (SENT 22:35): oh man i didn't think it was that serious.
Me (SENT 22:36): but it's not as if Lovi would say yes
Me (SENT 22:36): greece must really love him then

Turkey (SENT 22:37): I'm not sure

Me (SENT 22:37): what does that mean?! he's proposing to him isn't he?

Turkey (SENT 22:38): Yeah, on his National Day that celebrates our divorce. I think he's using Romano to get a rise out of me

Me (SENT 22:39): oh, really? well then, Lovi probably won't say yes

Turkey (SENT 22:39): Are you sure?
Turkey (SENT 22:40): I didn't love Egypt when I married him, I just liked him a bit
Turkey (SENT 22:40): If you're lonely and someone proposes to you it's hard to say no

Me (SENT 22:41): i don't think he'd say yes

Turkey (SENT 22:42): Maybe Romano is doing this to get a rise out of you too

Me (SENT 22:43): i don't know. Lovi can do that in a lot of other ways too
Me (SENT 22:44): but maybe it's time for my grand romantic gesture

Turkey (SENT 22:44): Are you going to intervene then?

Me (SENT 22:45): yep! i have a muy bueno idea ;)
Me (SENT 22:46): keep a look out at the party! i'll be the suave cool guy!

~/~

10:49, March 25, 2008, Athens International Airport, Greece

"Hola Alfred! I just got off the plane. Did you get my messages?"

I held my breath in anticipation – because my romantic gesture wouldn't be complete without Alfred's help.

"Yeah, man! I got everything ready! It's going to be super cool!" Alfred boomed through the phone, and I smiled in relief.

"Ah, muchas gracias amigo! You have no idea how thankful I am that you can do this."

"No problem dude! I love being the hero! But I gotta go right now and get some things worked out, so I'll see at the Parthenon!"

"Okay, see you there!" I ended the call and grinned stupidly.

This is going to be maravilloso.

I kept watching the landscape change through the window as I continuously kneaded my fingers into my slacks from the nerves. This was it. I'm going to stop Greece from proposing to Lovi, and tell Lovi how I really feel and make him believe me for once.

And hopefully he loves me too.

I flicked my eye over to Francis, who was sitting to my right, happily texting away on his phone. How does he do it? Francis is always so calm about love and stuff; and he's always so suave. I feel like I need to try so hard to seem even remotely cool in front of Lovino. The only time I may have succeeded was when I saved him from Turkey all of those years ago. It's sort of a happy coincidence that I'm saving him from Greece this time!

"Ah, we're here," Francis's voice brought me back to the present, and I met his eyes nervously. Fortunately, Francis is very intuitive, and he patted me on the back in reassurance and said, "It will be fine mon cher. You have everything figured out. You just need to make him believe you."

I smiled at him gratefully and muttered, "Gracias."

Then Francis opened his door and stepped out of the car. I waited a beat and stared at my reflection in the rear view mirror. I guess I look okay, right? I wore something sort of fancy – a yellow button-down shirt with brown slacks – since my boss wouldn't give me money to buy any nice suits. I just have to smile. Gilbert and Francis said that's my best feature, so hopefully that'll compensate for everything else. I sighed, then opened the door and stepped out.

"Man, it's sunny!" I said without thinking, and stared up at the clear, blue sky. At least there aren't any clouds. That means Alfred's airshow should go on okay. I just hope everyone can see it without the sunlight bothering them.

"This way Antoine," Francis called out, already several paces ahead of me on the trail.

I jogged up to meet him and looked around. "D-do you think everyone else is already here?"

Francis checked his wristwatch and replied, "Considering the fact that it is already noon, I assume there is a good chance everyone is there except for us." He glanced at my worried expression and added, "But it's good to be fashionably late! It makes everyone notice you!"

"Yeah," I agreed. "I just don't know if I can do this in front of so many people."

"You'll be fine! Where's the confident Spanish pirate you once were? You just need to tap into some of that and everything will work out! You'll see." Francis winked at me before checking his phone again.

I just breathed very audibly and stared at the sky. If only I was still a pirate…

After some time of walking, a white structure finally came into view, as well as several human figures around it.

"Ah, that would be them!" Francis proclaimed happily.

I didn't say anything and continued walking beside him towards the Parthenon. When were yards away from it I could hear the music, and make out with better clarity the ribbons and balloons decorating the marble building. It looked sort of weird to tell the truth. But before Francis and I entered, Feli ran out to greet us.

"Ah, Tony and Francis! Buongiorno! I'm so happy you made it! We were getting worried that you weren't coming!" Feli grinned, and squinted in the sunlight.

"Désolé! Our car was driving a bit slow."

"Well, you're here now! Who don't you come on in?" Feli grabbed both of our wrists and dragged us through the columns.

As soon as the three of us entered the crowd, my eyes darted around to find Lovi. My heart was beginning to race, and I was trying frantically to remember what I was going to say. Ah, what was I going to say? I should've written it down. I'm such an idiota!

At this point I was clawing my hair with my fingers trying to get a grip, when I heard a distinct Italian bass echo, "What's wrong bastardo, do you have a headache?"

I whipped my body around to face him, and I felt my whole body heat up at the sight.

Lovi was glaring at me with sparkling bronze eyes, his mouth twisted in a sort-of frown in an attempt not to look as amused as he was. His dark auburn hair was slightly mussed by the breeze, but he didn't bother moving it away from his eyes – even though I know it was driving him crazy. I know I was smiling stupidly at the sight of him, but I didn't care. All of a sudden, I just didn't care about all of things that were worrying me. It seems so stupid now. I know what to say. I've always known what to say to him. And maybe that strange shine in Lovi's eyes means he's been waiting for me to say it too.

"Hola, Lovi how are you?" I asked finally, admiring his fashionably tailored, probably designer, grey suit.

He met my eyes as I was talking and flushed red. Then as he stared at the floor he muttered aggressively, "Fine idiota." He dared to flick his eyes up again and ask, "W-what about you?"

"Well, actually I've been a bit preoccupied with something lately…" My eyes lingered on his face, watching his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Yeah, you said," He spat angrily and crossed his arms across his chest.

"But I think I finally figured it out. I need to tell someone I love them," I smiled and watched Lovi's reaction.

Immediately, Lovi's eyes widened and shimmered, and his cheeks blushed an even darker red. Hesitantly, he asked in obviously forced confidence, "W-where the hell did that come from?!"

I opened my mouth to reply, but all of a sudden we were both called to attention by someone speaking into a microphone.

"Attention everyone, Greece has an announcement to make," Germany said evenly, before stepping away from the microphone awkwardly and making room for Greece to come in.

Slowly, the familiar dark haired man walked up to the microphone, dressed casually in a short sleeve shirt, shorts, and sandals. He smiled dreamily, and began, "Hey everyone, I'm Greece."

I caught Germany rolling his eyes.

"I just wanted to thank everyone for coming. Especially since I can't use my plane anymore. So if it was anywhere else, that would've been…tough.

"This is a special celebration for me, as it concerns my divorce from that weird, annoying, good-for-nothing Turkey. Now I'm free of him and I've never been happier. And actually there's one person in particular that I'd like to recognize…

"Lovino Vargas."

I stared at Lovi wide-eyed and was surprised that he was staring back at me with the same expression. I heard him mutter "shit" under his breath, but before I could say anything, I was once again interrupted by the microphone.

"So Lovino, why don't you come up here? There's something I want to ask you."

Lovi stared at Greece with a red face, then turned to me with frightened eyes. He waited a few seconds, but as I worked up the courage, Lovi had already turned to walk towards the microphone.

I stared at him helplessly at a loss of what to do, when I caught Gilbert and Francis mouthing words at me. I narrowed my eyes to try to communicate my confusion, and they elaborated their enunciation. Gilbert got impatient however and said somewhat loudly, "Stop him you dumm Kopf!"

"Uh, right." I said under my breath and tried to find where Lovino went. He was already standing near Greece, keeping his eyes pointed directly at the ground. I told myself it was now or never, and before Greece started speaking into the microphone, I yelled, "Wait!"

I knew it would happen, but it still felt really weird when everyone's gaze was directed at me: especially Greece's confused, sleepy one, and Lovi's surprised, flustered one.

Since I didn't continue quickly enough, Greece asked into the microphone, "What?"

"Um, I object?" I managed with wavering confidence.

"…To what?" Greece gazed at me curiously.

"Uh, maybe I should start over." I gathered myself and ran a hand through my hair. Okay, I can do this. Then a thought occurred to me, "Hey, um, do you think I can borrow your microphone?"

Greece blinked slowly and shrugged his shoulders, "Sure."

"Great!" I replied and skipped to Lovi's side. As I picked up the microphone, I heard Lovi whisper "What the hell are you doing?" But I ignored him and started speaking.

"So I have something to say today, that maybe a lot of people are expecting." I paused as I stared dumbly at the large crowd. So this is what it feels like to address the whole world. I caught Francis and Gilbert gesturing for me to continue, and I snapped back to attention.

"Uh, I guess I should've expected this too, but I can be sort of dumb at times and a bit of an idiota as some people remind me." I laughed nervously, and saw Lovi cooling his cheeks off with the backs of his hands.

"But um, I feel like I need to make a grand romantic gesture as some people put it." I turned to face Lovi, and reached for one of his hands to hold.

But Lovi put his hands behind his back and yelled, "What are you doing bastard?!"

"I just want to hold your hand!" I whined, and tried to grab his hand anyway. Lovi stubbornly kept his hands away from me, before settling to cross his arms across his chest. "Lovi, why won't you give me your hand?" I complained, though my heart felt lighter with the familiarity of the scenario; it just felt so right to be with Lovi. Even when we're both being idiots.

"I just don't get why you need my damn hand!" Lovi released his arms to make an Italian gesture and I seized his left hand.

"Ha! Okay now just hang in there, it won't take long."

"B-bastard!" Lovi stuttered, and his face flushed even redder. I could even feel his hand sweating; he must be really nervous.

"Lovi," I started, in as suave a tone as I could manage (sort of pirate-y maybe?). I looked into his golden-brown eyes, and as usual there were so many emotions dancing around, I couldn't possibly tell what he was thinking. But all the same, I don't think he's nearly as angry as he wants to be. "I love you."

Although I could hear the sudden burst of applause and whistles, I tried to tune that out and focus on Lovi's face. His eyes were incredibly wide and shiny, and his mouth slightly agape, but he didn't say anything.

"I've loved you for a long time, but I don't think I realized how much until very recently. But, I really, really do love you Lovi. Te quiero mucho. I would do anything for you." I stared at Lovi and waited for him to say something, or anything. But he just stood there, slightly shaking, and very quiet.

I decided to tug on his hand and try to pull him closer so maybe I could kiss him awake, so I slowly brought him nearer until he blinked out of his daze and yelled, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Aw, come on Lovi, I just want to kiss you!" I strengthened my grip on his wrist and pulled him closer against his will.

"Like hell you do!" Lovi turned his head away and tried to lean back on his weight.

"Argh, Lovi! I just said I love you! Isn't that reason enough!"

"You don't mean it! You never mean it!" Lovi yelled, and I stared at him in confusion. This feels like déjà vu; Lovi has definitely yelled this at me before. Does he really not think I mean it?

"Look, I – stop pulling, I'm trying to explain something!" I said slightly flustered, and for once, Lovino actually listened to me and stopped pulling. He did however, yank his hand out of my grip and take two steps backwards. "Look Lovino, I really do love you, you have to believe me. Why else would I want to hang out with you so much, and ask you to make churros with me? Why else would I find it cute that you call me "bastard" or "bastardo" or "idiota"? What else would explain how I get so excited when you're in the same room, or how I get jealous when you smile for someone else instead of me?"

Lovino looked at me again, but this time much more gentle, and a little bit afraid. He didn't say anything, so I decided to continue.

"I mean, I love you so much Lovino, there's no way I'm going to let you get married to Greece, okay!" I pointed to Greece standing awkwardly in the corner, who seemed to be more amused than concerned, and just blandly returned my stare. Then I made the mistake of looking at Lovi, and it was my turn to gulp in fear.

"What? Why the hell did you think I was marrying that guy?!" Lovi stepped closer to me, and also pointed to Greece.

"You were going out with him! And Tur – someone told me that Greece was going to propose to you today!" I defended my self, but Lovi seemed even more taken aback in the worst of ways.

"I – am – not – going – out – with – him! Why would you even think that?" Lovi glared at me angrily, with his fists clenched at his sides.

"You were hanging out with him and going on dates and stuff!"

"Mio dio! That was not a fucking date! We were hanging out as friends! We just needed someone to talk to since we were in similar situations!"

I stared at him dumbly, and was surprised by how passionately angry he was. "Oh really? I guess I got that wrong haha!" I laughed nervously, and stopped when Lovino didn't seem to like it.

"You fucking imbecile! How could I possibly be going out with Greece let along marry him when I'm still in love with a fucking idiota like you!" Lovino huffed and stared at me.

"You – you love me?" I asked hesitantly, and immediately Lovino slapped his hands over his mouth and started shaking his head.

"You do?" I asked again, smiling ridiculously because I knew that Lovi slipped up.

"I-I don't – I mean, I," Lovi stuttered, for once not able to find a way to lie again.

I smiled happily, and wrapped my arms around his waist to pull him closer, "That's okay Lovi. I love you too." I wiped the tears from his eyes, then finally (finally!), kissed him, after we've been idiotas for way too long. After a few seconds, Lovi leaned in to wrap his arms around my neck, and he kissed back hesitantly and slowly, so perfectly like Lovi.

Amongst the crowd – that I sort of forgot was there after a while – I could hear cheers from Francis and Gilbert. Francis yelled, "Well done, mon ami!" And Gilbert yelled, of course, "That was awesome!"

Little did he know that the truly awesome part was yet to come!

Before I could break the kiss to check for myself, I heard, who I think was Germany, yell, "Verdammt! I told Alfred not to bring a fleet of jets! It's such a waste of money!"

Then both Lovi and I looked up at the sky.

And it seemed as though Alfred is pretty good at following directions! Up in the blue sky were a few jets whirling around, slowly spelling out the words:

"I…love…you…Lovi." Everyone in the crowd mumbled together.

Then I turned to Lovi to see his reaction (I thought this was pretty cool), and saw him holding his hand over his mouth, trying to restrain his laughter. His laughter! Lovi was laughing!

"God, you…idiot! That…was the most…fucking…ridiculous thing…I've ever seen!" Lovi tried to cover his mouth, which was smiling wider than I'd ever seen it.

I couldn't help but be slightly disappointed though. I thought this idea was so good. I just wanted to be the cool, suave guy for once.

Lovino noticed that I was sulking, and slowly stopped laughing to look at me. "What? Are you actually pouting?"

I crossed my arms, and frowned.

"You idiot."

I turned to look at him again, and saw that Lovino held his left hand out, an expression of extreme embarrassment on his face, but still somehow managing to maintain eye contact with me.

I smiled excitedly and grasped his hand.

"But I'm your idiot."

;)

~/~

YAY it's done! Well part one is anyway.

I just want to say thank you for those waiting patiently for me to update my other fics; I have the next chapter for A Dancing Star almost done, so you can expect that sometime this week or the next. And Your World will be updated soon after that I should think.

I took a hiatus for school, but now I'm back again! And as soon as I finished my last final I had the inspiration to do this epic thing, so I did. Slightly cheesy, that's true. But hopefully entertaining?

There will be multiple parts to this; so the next part will be about Antonio's and Lovino's relationship when they have actually have a relationship. Plus some more PruCan, and some actual developments in the FrUK department.

Thank you so much for reading! Please Review!

Te quiero mucho!

Bienvenu mon cher - Welcome my dear

Je ne sais pas - I cannot say

mon dieu - My God

Mio dio - My God (I didn't properly capitalize these in the fic since they were text messages)

l'amour - love

doux, muet Alfred - sweet, dumb Alfred

A demain mon cher - I'll see you tomorrow my dear (I also didn't add the correct accents since I figured he probably wouldn't bother in texts)

idiota - idiot

Mein gott - My God

Angleterre - England

À plus tard - Later

te amo - I love you

mes amis - My friends

amigo - friend

Verdammt - damn it

Se qui se passe? - What is this?

Je suis silencieux - I am silent

Americain - American

Vive le resistance! - Live the resistance!

gracias - thank you

très chic - Very fashionable/chic

mi tomate - My tomato

Gute Nacht - Good night

mi querido tomate - My dear tomato

Comment ça va? - How is it going?

Ja - yes

Excusez-moi - Excuse me

lo siento - I'm sorry

bueno - Good

bastardo - Bastard

por favor - Please

Tout est juste dans l'amour et la guerre - All if fair in love and war

dumm Komf - Stupid head

maravilloso - Marvelous

Biongiorno! - Good morning!

Je suis désole! - I am sorry!

Te quiero mucho - I love you very much

Part Two: Dating coming soon!