I do not own Fairy Tail. I thought this would be a funny idea. I know I've been writing a lot of one-shots lately. I just need a multi-chapter worthy idea to come at a more convenient time, and this was the kind of thing that can be done in one shot. Hence the term 'one-shot'.

Gajeel and Pantherlily were training not far from the Fairy Tail guild. The sky was dark with heavy clouds that seemed to be promising rain. Pantherlily had even caught a whiff of the wind. It even smelled like it was going to rain. The currently buff Exceed suggested, "Maybe we should head inside. It looks like it's about to rain."

"Ah, what's a little rain? If you ask me, it'll work well with the training," Gajeel shrugged and put a good jab in.

Pantherlily responded by tilting his head away from Gajeel's fist. "You're not worried about rust?"

"Not if we keep moving. Rust is kind of like arthritis or some other medical condition," Gajeel replied.

"I'm not sure I follow your logic as well as I do your fighting style," Pantherlily grunted and threw a few jabs of his own, which were blocked by Gajeel.

"Shut up and spar, cat! Iron Dragon Club!" Gajeel began using his Dragon Slayer magic. Pantherlily blocked with his Musica Sword. The rain began pouring in sheets. Gajeel grunted, "Looks like you were right. How come I didn't smell it?"

"You were too busy trying to hit me in the face," Pantherlily answered.

"Like this?" Gajeel went for another jab.

Pantherlily was about to block when a flash of lightning occurred, followed by a clap of thunder. "WAAAAAAH!" Flailing his arms in the air, the black Exceed took a powerful blow to the face and went flying into a tree.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" Gajeel put a hand on his hip and asked. "You never let your guard down."

"The thunder…" Pantherlily murmured, "The thunder…!"

"In your tiny form, it's kind of cute, but when you're huge, bulky, and a good opponent, it's kind of pathetic," Gajeel scoffed.

"It's so loud and unsettling!" Pantherlily argued. Sighing, Gajeel pulled a kiwi out of his pocket, dangled it in front of Pantherlily's face, and used it to guide him back into the guild. It was funny how the panther's eyes went from scared stiff to hungry in the blink of an eye. Once Pantherlily realized he was inside, he sighed in relief. "I'm safe."

"It's not gonna hurt you. It's just noise. Honestly, you've gotta get a handle on this thing," Gajeel shook his head.

Carla and Happy were sitting on a table nearby. Carla was enjoying a cup of Darjeeling tea and Happy was sucking on a fish. Carla muttered, "I wonder what the root of his fear is, anyway."

"Aye," Happy nodded in agreement.

There was another thunderclap. Pantherlily, still in combat mode, shouted, "Hide me!" He tried to hide under Happy and Carla's table. However, due to his muscular build, he was much too large and upset the balance of the table as it rocked on his spine.

This caused Carla to drop her cup of tea and Happy to fall off. Carla shouted, "My tea!" She tried to catch the teacup, but to no avail. It fell to the floor and shattered, Darjeeling tea spilling all over the floor.

"AYE!" Happy shouted as he fell to the floor face first.

"My favorite tea…my favorite teacup…and my favorite tomcat…" Carla mumbled as she stared at the floor below her.

"Here's something to scrape your boyfriend off the floor with," Gajeel gave Carla a shovel.

"B-boyfriend?" Carla's white-furred faced went beet red.

"And you, my cat, are coming with me," Gajeel pulled Pantherlily out from under the table by his tail. The Exceed started to shrink into his standard form.

"Where are you taking—" Pantherlily started to inquire, but then he was knocked out.

"Anyone see the card girl?" Gajeel scanned the guild hall. He spotted Cana holding her massive barrel. "You!"

"You've been around long enough to call us by our names, you know," Cana grumbled.

"You're coming, too! I've got a crazy idea that he'll thank me for later," Gajeel grabbed Cana by the wrist and led her outside, but not before grabbing a chair with his teeth.

"Hey! Let go! Where are you taking me, Gajeel?!" Cana snapped. She found herself outside in the pouring rain. When Gajeel let go, Cana narrowed her eyes, asking, "What? Are you kidnapping me just to tell me your secret?"

"My secret?" Gajeel echoed.

"That you like Levy," Cana nodded.

"That's not why you're here," Gajeel changed the subject.

"So you do like her," Cana smirked mischievously. Gajeel whispered his absurd idea into her ear. Cana's purple eyes widened. "What?! I can't do that to Lily! Why would you want me to do that! He's your cat!"

"He is my cat! That's why I am asking you to do this," Gajeel agreed and explained. Cana had a look on her face, like she was pondering the idea. Gajeel knew there were only three ways to make her agree, one of which was illegal. He settled for the obvious of the legal choices. "I'll buy you a drink."

"Done," Cana agreed.

Gajeel tied his unconscious Exceed partner to the chair he had brought, and then stood next to Cana thirty feet away. He instructed, "Wait for him to wake up."

"Yeah. Got it," Cana nodded, preparing her cards. She could not believe what she was about to do.

"Kiwis…" Pantherlily stirred in his sleep. He woke up to see Cana and Gajeel standing a distance away. "Cana? Gajeel? What's going on…? Wait…why am I tied to a chair?!"

"I'm so sorry, Lily!" Cana apologized in advance. She held three cards in hand, saying the name of each. "Heaven!"

"What the heck?" Pantherlily's heart raced.

"Reverse Death!"

"Cana, stop!"

"Mountain!"

"No!"

"Summoned Lightning!" The spell was cast.

Pantherlily felt an array of green lightning bolts hit him. Pain surged through his body and the electricity made his fur stand on end. After a few brief moments, though Pantherlily felt that they went on forever, the lightning subsided.

"Lily? You okay?" Gajeel called out his name. "Drunken lady, did you kill him?!"

"I'm not drunk and he's not dead!" Cana snapped.

"Ugh…what happened?" Pantherlily asked groggily. There was a thunderclap, but the black Exceed did not react to it. "Hey…that was thunder, wasn't it?"

"Uh-huh," Gajeel smirked.

"You're not scared?" Cana asked him carefully.

"No. I don't think so," Pantherlily smirked a Gajeel-like smirk.

"Good to hear!" Gajeel gave Pantherlily a thumbs-up.

"Heh!" Pantherlily chuckled. There was another thunderclap. It made him jump, but not too terribly.

"Eh, you're a work in progress," Gajeel shrugged. "Thanks, barrel girl!"

"Barrel girl?" Cana echoed. "By the by, you owe Carla a new teacup."

"What the heck is so great about tea, anyway?!" Gajeel demanded.

"My thoughts exactly," Cana walked into the guild, leaving the Iron Dragon Slayer and black Exceed swordsman outside.

The end