The Doctor shut the door to the TARDIS behind him feeling completely defeated as he walked inside. He was momentarily confused and a bit stunned by this current turn of events. He walked aimlessly to the console, not really sure where to go from here. He held his hands in tight, painful fists down stiffly at his sides His eyes stung with tears like needles but he left them there to stab rather than letting them out.

He had invited Rose to come with him...and she had said no. He was not use to having his invitations refused. It just didn't happen and right now it hurt more than he wanted to believe. He never needed someone so much nor wanted someone more than he did this time.

He had thought he was protecting himself. He had thought that he did not want to open himself up to caring about someone, to actually loving another person again. He thought he didn't even want that. Then he had admitted that even if he did want that he wouldn't take it because he didn't deserve it and he would only cause her harm. In the end, he figured he'd really only been trying to protect himself all along.

But he had given his hearts to Rose. Already, he had done it. And what he had tried to run from was now happening. All the pain he had tried to avoid he now felt vividly.

For a third time in only 24 hours he had come into her orbit. In the course of trying to defeat the Nestene he kept finding himself drawn into her life. But this last time he hadn't pushed her away. This time he allowed himself to feel around her, to feel for her.

He stopped denying his feelings for her. He stopped avoiding her questions. He had started to allow her to really see him. She hadn't even blinked when he said he was alien. It was like it didn't even bother her. When he had explained to her what was going on with the Nestene she hadn't even skipped a beat. It was like it was normal for her or more like it could be normal for her. He felt it solidify in his mind what he had sensed before; that she was made for this.

He had grabbed her hand and they had run. It had been fantastic. Fantastic; he liked the word. It described her perfectly. She had faced the Nestene and she had been so brave. She had defeated them. Without her he would not have been able to do it. Without her he would be dead right now. She had saved his life and in doing so had made him feel his life really was worth saving.

He didn't understand. He'd been so sure she would accept the invitation. He'd almost been cocky in the way that he had talked about human life, all food and work and sleep. He'd been so sure that she would never choose such a boring life if given the chance for more. He knew she wanted more out of life, he had felt that she wanted adventure and that she was bored with her current situation. Then the way she acted, the smile on her face during all the action, had made him believe that she liked it, that maybe she even wanted this kind of life. Maybe, his life could provide the adventure she wanted.

He wanted all of that. He didn't want to leave her. But she had chosen human life so he had to leave and he had to be alone.

Where are we going? the TARDIS asked with slight alarm. He could feel gentle sympathy from her. She sensed something was wrong but she hadn't looked inside to find out what.

"Does it matter?" he asked heavily, his hands on the console as he hung his head. He didn't have the energy to explain, not that she needed him to anyway. He could feel her skimming his memories.

Where is Rose? she asked with concern.

"Not here, obviously," he shot back.

Go back and get her

"No" he said heavily.

She gave him a firm nudge in reply.

"No," he stated again this time firmly. Now he looked up at her, anger and hurt in his voice. "I've done everything you've asked! I believed you. I trusted you," and here his voice broke. He coughed it away with anger. "And all because you said it would be worth it. But this…this is so much worse," he paused as the emotions fought to strangle him.

He felt her reach out to him but he pulled away evading her touch. "Why did you do this to me? Things were bad enough. I didn't even know they could get worse."

He felt her stroke him reassuring trying to comfort him but he shoved back against her. He clenched his hands at his sides trying to focus on the anger instead of the pain that lay beneath it. He had listened to her and she had given him hope. She had given him hope in something he didn't think he had wanted and wouldn't have sought out. She gave him that hope when it would only be taken away.

He felt sorely betrayed. Because of that hope and trust he had given his hearts already to this human girl. He should never have done such a dangerous thing and he wouldn't have except that she asked him to trust her. He had done it because she had promised it would be worth it.

He knew this is what he deserved: to be alone. He didn't deserve to be loved or to be happy. He knew all of that and still he felt betrayed in the fact that the TARDIS had allowed him to believe that things could be otherwise. He had known what his lot in life was going to be from here on out but she had made him think he could have better than that.

He knew that Rose had made the right choice. It was better for her to stay on Earth. It was better for her to live out her life as a normal human. It was better and much safer for her to stay as far away from him and the life he lived.

Go back for her. You know you want her to come she ordered firmly again. She still had yet to give him an explanation for why she thought this would have worked out.

"I know you saw what happened" he cried indignantly. "I asked her to come along and she refused. It doesn't matter what I want because she said no. "

She wants to come

"Oh, alright," he said with sarcasm. "Because refusing an invitation is the surest way to say yes to it."

She gave him an angry nudge

"That's fine. You're mad. Well, you know what, I'm mad too." He didn't care. He was done with this whole thing and whatever she was trying to accomplish by tugging on his very fragile heartstrings. He didn't know what her game was but he was not going to play along anymore.

Go back now! she shouted at him, her feelings of anger growing.

"Why do you even care so much?" he questioned, shouting now back at her.

I love her

The Doctor stopped, completely stunned by her words. That was not at all what he expected her to say. He could feel the sincerity with which she said it and he didn't understand it at all. "You what?" he asked in quiet disbelief.

I love her because she will love you. She will make you so happy. And she will save your life without even trying, without even knowing she is doing it.

"H-How can you know that?" he asked in disbelief. It was a lie. It had to be. He wouldn't believe her words. No one could love him. No one would ever want to again. Nobody wanted to travel with him, be with him. And he wouldn't allow that hope to inch its way through to his hearts again.

I know her. I know her heart and mind. I will look into them and know her completely. You must go back for her.

The Doctor was stunned at her words. He wasn't sure how what she was saying could even be possible. This girl was just a human. Just an ordinary human girl. How could it possibly be true in the future that something so extraordinary could be true of her?

You know she's more than that she stated, answering his questioning mind.

He did know that she was more than that. He could look at her and say she was an ordinary human girl but everything that he had felt and seen since he had met her had told him otherwise. Already, without even trying she had started to ease the pain inside of him, a pain so deep he had been sure it would never have been eased.

He didn't know what mysteries the future held with this human. He didn't know how any of what the TARDIS was suggesting could be possible. But he wanted to know. For the very first time since he lost everything he wanted to live. He was looking at the future and he wanted it.

Right now she regrets saying no. She regretted it the moment she said it. She's looking over her shoulder hoping you will reappear. She needs us and we need her.

Despite himself hope sprung in his heart again. He wanted to believe it. He wanted to go back for her.

You just took her by surprise. But what you are offering is exactly what she wants. You open those doors again and she will come running through them.

There was a pause in her words as she felt him deliberating but then she continued. Let's go back and get her she urged excitement in the way she touched his mind.

He paused only a moment before he rushed to console and started feverishly flipping controls to reverse their course. He smiled as he did and he felt happiness radiate from her. When they arrived back to place where he had left Rose he ran to the door, composing himself right before he opened it.

She was still there. She turned around and looked at him and he felt that. He wanted to live and spend as much time as he could having this human girl look at him like that. Relief and excitement and happiness were written all over her face. She was glad he was back. The TARDIS had been right all along.

Somehow, he managed to speak again. "By the way, did I mention it also travels in time?" He's not even sure why those were the words that he spoke. But it didn't really matter either way; he could have said anything and she would come. She did want to come.

He smiled and walked back into the TARDIS, leaving the door open. His smile grew as he heard her behind him, literally running towards him.

He felt the TARDIS nudge him as if to say See I told you so

He had made a promise when he became the Doctor. Never cruel, nor cowardly. Never give up. Never give in. But it was a promise the TARDIS had made as well. It was a promise they kept together and it was a promise she made to him. She could have been cruel. It was certainly what he deserved after what he had done. She could have kicked him out and left him forever. She could have given up on him and let him destroy himself. But she didn't. She never gave up on him and she never would. And he never would on her either.

He had broken the promise but she had kept it. And by helping him to keep it too, he had found his way back to being the Doctor. She'd been right all along; it was the only way to help him to keep him going. Being the Doctor had lead him to Rose and she was the key. Because being the Doctor was a reason to live. But being with Rose was a desire to live.

He smiled faintly up at her. Thank you he whispered to her in his mind just as Rose bounded into the TARDIS and smiled at him.

She wrapped around his mind in a strong but gentle way, not needing the actual words any longer to be heard to tell him that he would be alright; he was listening now. They would always care about each other, always take care of each other. Always do what was best for each other. All three of them now.