He was supposed to be a journalist.

Why then, was he telling a small and shaking girl to undress so he could check her for scarring, for birthmarks, for moles? All because some empty-eyed man in a suit with breath so minty he probably swallowed a whole box of overpriced spearmint-whatever before ambling into West Block said he wanted his girl as 'clear and clean as possible' When did he start listening to men like that?

He was going to blow whistles, drag the truth out of the shadows, and expose the cracked, disgusting faces of those in power. He would be a servant of the light-revealing the seedy dealings of people like the dark-eyed man. Instead, he was serving them. Handing them exactly what they wanted just to fill his flask. Anything not to have to think anymore.

He was so…disgusting.

He tells the girl to turn around so he's not staring into her young, muddy eyes. Young. It was generous to call her young, the brown of her eyes mapping out countless scars her body, mercifully, was spared from. He takes a long swig of the burning liquid in his flask and forgets. She's clean.

He thinks of nothing as he brings her to the empty-eyed man and watches the door shut behind them.

Shion visits him sometimes. A pleasant memory that for once isn't covered in the haze of sex or drink. He's a good kid, truly good, not fake-good like himself. He means his pleases and thank yous, doesn't wear them like a clean mask for the higher ups. A true flower, appropriately named, with a face like an angel, like Karan.

He doesn't belong here.

He wonders sometimes if he's sleeping with Eve. It's not his problem really, but it's sort of actually part of his business to know these things, and the looks Shion sends in the gorgeous boy's direction have such sincere, honest, want in them it reminds him of his own gaze at Karan. He wants to warn him, wants to give him the paternal advice that he knows the kid needs. That, that boy isn't right for him. That he's pretty but Shion's going to get hurt. But he bites his tongue and drinks instead. It's not his concern.

If Rikiga was an honest man, he think he'd want Shion to love him. Like a father, or an uncle. Family. But he's not an honest man, so he tries to buy the kid some food, offers his guidance, and sends him on his way.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He wanted to be a journalist.

He wanted to be with Karan. With the good of the world in the Holy City. Instead he's just another disgusting creature making ends meet on whatever was left of the earth. Clawing and digging for his right to the ground.