A/:Im so sorry for not updating sooner!! No it is not writers block this time. I have to go to college AND I have a job now so I have very little time left for writing. However, every morning I type a little something up. So don't worry….keep checking my bio to know the status of my next chapter!! Review people!! Remember, the more reviews I get, the guiltier I feel for delaying a chapter update!!hehe. Hopefully everyone will love this chapter!
The place they stayed in at the mountains was way more luxurious than the beach house. Lily later learnt that this was one of James' properties, and was no longer stunned at the fact that the so-called cabin not only had a wizarding sauna and a ball room, but was huge enough for each of them to have their own rooms. "Surprisingly", once again James' room was across from hers.
Lily also couldn't help but notice that something was very odd going on between Remus and Cassidy. They somehow seemed...closer. Yet they were no longer always at each others' side touching, hugging and kissing. Of course the occasional affectionate glance, kiss or hand holding was done but not quite as frequently. But somehow….somehow they seemed closer! Like the need to touch each other all the time was not essential. It was as if they were so sure of each other, of belonging to each other that they didn't need to be with each other all the time
Many times had Lily been on the verge of asking them about it but something made her hold her tongue. Meanwhile, the boys immersed themselves in a sport called snowboarding. Of the girls, Natalie was the only one actually interested in participating. Hours later, she came back rubbing her bum.
"I fell so many times." She moaned. "How are they so good at it?"
"They probably used magic." Andrea said with a laugh. "Or at least some sort of cushioning charm."
Natalie rubbed her bum sourly. "They could have told me!" she pouted.
"Then they wouldn't have been able to show off." Cassidy said with a small smile.
All the girls laughed in agreement.
OooOo
"What are these called again?" James asked Sirius as he revved up the engine to the strange contraption.
"It's a snowmobile." Sirius replied as he revved up his own engine. "When are you going to finally admit your feelings to Lily?"
James suddenly pretended to become very interested in watching Remus start his own snowmobile up.
Sirius scowled. "Maybe this will speed things along." He muttered, loud enough for James to hear. James watched Sirius take off straight to where the girls were sitting. Slightly alarmed, James was suddenly chasing after Sirius on his own snowmobile wondering exactly what his best mate was planning on doing.
James arrived in time to hear Lily speaking.
"I don't know Sirius..."
"Come on Lily. Just get on." Sirius urged.
Lily hesitantly climbed on behind Sirius. James suddenly felt very odd watching Lily put her arms tentatively around his best mates' waist. Sirius gave him an impish wink before taking off at a speed fast enough to make Lily screech and wrap her arms tightly around Sirius.
James swore under his breath, realizing that Sirius was trying to make him jealous. Dammit, it was working!!
"I want to come too!" exclaimed Rosalyn, hoping James would offer.
"You can get on with me and Cassidy." Remus offered quickly.
Rosalyn looked hesitantly over to James. The space between them had become so much….where she would not have thought twice about getting on behind him, now she thought it over ten times!
"Hurry up and get on if you must." James snapped, still looking into the distance where Lily and Sirius had taken off.
Before Rosalyn could make a move, Natalie was suddenly sitting behind James.
"I'd like to go with James. He's so reckless he needs someone like me to punch him from behind if he goes too fast" Natalie said with fake smile at Rosalyn. "You can go with Peter."
"But-but-" Rosalyn spluttered.
James swore under his breath again as Sirius got farther away and took off. Natalie squealed and grabbed onto his waist. By the time James reached Sirius and Lily, Sirius was going at a rather easygoing pace that didn't require Lily to hold onto him. Her cheeks and nose were pink due to the cold. She was looking skywards with her hands arms stretched out, reveling in the sunlight shining upon her, her auburn hair fluttering in the wind. James felt his breath catch, as he watched her twitch her nose to get rid of a snowflake which had landed upon it. She looked so beautiful with the sunlight resting on her, creating a glowing aura around her with her hair streaming out behind her.
James quickly reverted his eyes to Sirius who was looking at him. Sirius smiled roguishly and suddenly sped up. Lily let out a yell of indignation and grabbed onto his waist. James felt like killing Sirius.
"You could at least warn me!" Lily exclaimed angrily as Sirius suddenly slowed down. Her hands left his waist only to resume their position when Sirius sped up again. He slowed down and sped up so many times on whim that Lily found her arms wrapped tightly around his waist permanently so as not to be caught off guard when he sped up. The last thing she wanted was to fall on her bum in the cold snow.
James swore underneath his breath, realizing that that had been his best mates aim all along.
"Language." Natalie said with a small smile. She had also realized what was going on. Lily was the only one oblivious to it. Natalie put a comforting hand on James shoulder. "Sirius is trying to make you jealous James. Just calm down."
James expelled a deep breath trying to calm himself down. All of that went down the drain the moment Sirius said-
"Do you want to learn how to drive this thing?"
"Sure!" Lily exclaimed happily.
"No!" James exclaimed, an inexplicable fear entering his heart. "It's dangerous!"
Lily cast James a skeptical look. "James I highly doubt I will die from riding a snowmobile."
"Sirius is so reckless-"
"Hey!" Sirius cut him off indignantly.
James ignored Sirius and looked at Lily. Lily gave James a haughty glare before switching places on the snowmobile with Sirius and taking off.
James sped off after them and when he finally caught up he found himself duly impressed. Lily was a very fast learner. Even he had never ridden these things before and it had taken awhile to get the hang of them.
"Have you done this before?" James yelled at Lily while tailing her. She swerved skillfully and James followed.
"Nop!" Lily exclaimed happily as she slowed down, allowing James to catch up with her. "How about a race?" she proposed, stopping at a tree. "From here all the way back to where Andrea is sitting."
James looked at her skeptically. "Lily I don't think-"
"Afraid to lose?" Lily challenged.
"On 3." James replied automatically.
Natalie counted down and upon the fateful three both snowmobiles sped off going as fast as they could.
OoooOO
"It was so much fun!" Lily exclaimed later on that night as she sat next to the fire in their cabin. She had just emerged from her shower and was in a cream colored robe, her pale blue silk pajamas peeking from underneath her robe gave a regal sort of contrast to her attire, with her wet hair swept to one side as she ran a comb through it, trying to dry it in front of the fire naturally.
James merely grunted.
"He's still sore about losing." Natalie teased.
"How about a rematch tomorrow?" Lily stated happily.
"Tomorrow's your birthday." James said loftily. "I wouldn't want to make you lose on your birthday."
Lily hmphed.
"Like you could even if you tried. I beat you today fair and square James Potter."
James looked at Lily mischievously, waved his wand and caused a gush of wind to blow around her. She then felt a hand tug her hair like the last time James had used this charm.
"What is that charm you use?" Lily demanded. "And how did you-"
There was a sudden "OH!" from where Rosalyn was sitting. Everyone turned to peer at her and the look on her face was one of pure anguish.
"You're using THAT charm." Rosalyn said looking at James accusingly. She suddenly stood up and left the room.
"What was that all about?" Andrea inquired.
James put his wand away hastily. "Er…nothing." He ended lamely and quickly changed the subject. "So Lily, you'll finally be 17 tomorrow." James teased. "You're the only underage 7th year witch left among us."
Lily shot him a glare while the rest knew that James was trying to move everyone's thoughts away from what had just happened.
Sirius had other ideas than just sitting around and talking, though. He turned to Andrea and inquired whether she'd like to go with him to the wizarding bar situated at the top of the mountain. At that moment Natalie decided to turn in while Remus asked Cassidy to go for a walk with him. Lily could tell that Remus and Cassidy had been dying to get sometime alone; she could also tell that Sirius wanted to spend time alone with Andrea. In the end Peter, Rosalyn, James and Lily were left sitting around the fireplace. Lily watched Sirius and Andrea leave, wanting to go with them, to get out of the cabin but she didn't want to intrude on their private time with each other. They weren't a couple but they might as well have been one.
An idea suddenly popped into Lily's mind. She could go down to the bar alone! After a suitable amount of time had passed, she would get Natalie to go with her down to the bar. They had read about it in a pamphlet. It was supposed to have live music as well and ghosts as bartenders. Lily racked her brain for what else she had read about the bar and with a sinking feeling remembered that only wizards 17 and over were allowed. Well, she would turn 17 at exactly midnight….
Lily glanced up at the clock and stifled a groan; it was only 9 o clock!!
Feigning exhaustion she made her way towards her room, passing Julie on the way who said she was going to go spend the night with Michael in Germany. Lily suddenly got it into her mind that everyone was having fun except for her. As she lay in her bed wondering why life was being so unfair, she heard footsteps and then the door to James room open. Lily jumped up and ran to open the door, catching James just before he shut the door.
"Aren't you asleep yet?" James asked blinking in surprise.
"I need a favor." Lily said urgently and beckoned him into her room. James entered hesitantly wondering what exactly she-
"Sneak me into that wizarding bar Sirius took Andrea to."
"What?!" James asked totally taken aback. Had she gone mad?
"James, please!" Lily pleaded.
"No!" James said aghast at what Lily was asking him to do. Didn't she know that now she was his responsibility? If anything happened to her…
"I'm not sneaking you in." James said adamantly. "That place doesn't have a good crowd. I don't know what Sirius was thinking when he took Andrea there. Vampires and ghouls are its main visitors. Only the shadiest sorts of people go there nowadays. It's not safe and you're not even 17 yet! Do you know how much trouble you could get into if you went there and someone discovered you were under 17?"
"Well I'm going to go anyway!" Lily exclaimed, angry that James was denying her his help. "I know your invisibility cloak is somewhere in your room!" she began to stalk towards her door to open it. "I'll find it and-"
"You'll do nothing of the sort." James growled, grabbing her wrists and pulling her up against him. "You're going to stay here and wait until tomorrow. I'll take you tomorrow Lily. At least that way you're not breaking the damn law!"
"I want to go now!" Lily yelled angrily, like an angry child and totally out of character. "It's my birthday tomorrow and-"
"And I said I'd take you tomorrow!" James snapped back.
Lily stomped on his foot making him pull away from her and let her go. She turned again to leave but found that James had suddenly scooped her up and thrown her over his shoulder.
"Lily you've lost it." James muttered as she began to thrash around. "Try to be reasonable for just a second. You can go tomo-"
"Everyone!" Lily exclaimed, thrashing with such force that James had to throw her onto the bed. "Everyone is out having fun except me!"
"I'm still here." James provided, looking down at her as she sat up in bed.
"And you." Lily agreed.
"Natalie's still here."
"She's probably trying to figure out a way to get Kingsley." Lily replied bitterly.
"Rosalyn and Peter." James finally ended.
Lily flinched at the mention of Rosalyn's name. James softened and sat down on the bed to look Lily in the eye. "What's wrong Red?" James asked softly.
Lily looked up at him, surprised to hear the long forgotten pet name he had had for her on his lips.
"Sirius is with Andrea." She said quietly.
James nodded, starting to understand where this was going.
"Remus is with Cassidy…" she trailed off. "They're all doing their own thing. Pretty soon Natalie is going to be with Kingsley, Peter will find someone, you'll get back with Rosalyn and I'll be alone."
"I won't be getting back with Rosalyn if I can help it." James stated harshly.
"I don't care." Lily muttered unconvincingly. She saw that James had let his guard down. "I still want to go." She said very fast and tried to make a run for it. James grabbed her just in time and pinned her underneath him on the bed, pinning her hands above her head.
"You're going to stay put." James said harshly. "And stop acting like a 5 year old. Lily what is wrong with you? You're not acting like a soon to be adult wizard."
Lily looked up at James defiantly before realizing that he was right. Right now she was acting like a spoiled little-
The door suddenly opened and both teenagers heard a shriek from Julie.
"What are you two doing?! IN bed?!" she exclaimed shrilly. She marched over and pulled James off of Lily. "Have you gone insane?!" Julie yelled. "You know you're not allowed to…she…." Julie raged incoherently.
"We weren't doing anything Julie." James explained quietly.
"Oh is that what you call you, her bed and raging hormones?" Julie inquired sarcastically.
"It wasn't-it wasn't what it looked like." Lily finally spoke up. "I was being stupid. James was trying to knock some sense into me…he…we….I mean…he was trying to stop me from going somewhere."
Julie looked at the two skeptically, not willing to believe such a story.
"It's the truth!" James exclaimed defensively. "If I had wanted to…with her….I wouldn't have let a stupid contract stop me!" and with that he stormed out of the room and into his own.
Julie turned to look at Lily speculatively while Lily looked at her hands, beet red from the admission James had just made.
"It really wasn't what it looked like." Lily spoke up again quietly.
"Maybe it wasn't." Julie agreed just as quietly.
Lily suddenly looked up. "I thought you were going to Germany."
Julie smiled. "I am. I came back to get my wand. Can you believe I actually forgot it? Anyway I heard screaming in your room so I wanted to make sure everything was all right…then I heard James in your room and…I guess I panicked."
"He comes into my room often." Lily suddenly said. Julie looked at her sharply.
Lily blushed. "Not..not for that...but…we talk sometimes…and he comes into my room to talk to me…"
Julie hugged Lily. "I trust you Lily and I trust my brother. I'm sorry for my lapse in trust."
"It's all right." Lily murmured, hugging Julie back before letting her go and allowing her to leave.
OOoOoOoo
Lily awoke the next day to be greeted by a huge pile of presents on the breakfast table as she entered for breakfast. Suddenly, everyone was hugging her and wishing her Happy Birthday, urging her to open her presents. Laughing, Lily opened her presents over breakfast thanking everyone and gazing at Sirius disapprovingly when she opened his gift of red and gold lingerie.
"You'll need it someday." Sirius joked. Lily glowered at him. "No sense of humor." Sirius said with a sigh and tapped the offending garment. Lily suddenly held a gold necklace encrusted with red rubies. Her small gasp of pleasure and then fierce hug directed at Sirius was enough to make James grip his glass of orange juice hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Why did he always give her gifts that made her so damn happy? Why couldn't she react the same way when he….and then James stomach suddenly flip flopped as he remembered that last time he had not even given her a gift for Christmas in his anger. He had planned on it but at the last moment disabled the charm that would send Lily her gift once she fell asleep. He, of course had been under the illusion that she had given his family heirloom to Cassidy.
James was suddenly taken aback as he felt Lily wrap her arms around him.
"Thank you." Lily murmured with a giggle, pulling back from James arms, though he didn't want her too. She held up the snow globe inside of which lay the Eiffel tower.
"You need to shake it 7 times." James mumbled. "And it will transport you directly to the Eiffel tower." He smiled at her helplessly. "It's not exactly the Eiffel tower itself but at least you can go visit without having to go through all those apparition ports when apparating from country to country."
"How did you get a hold of something like this?" Lily asked incredulously.
James shrugged. "I pulled a few strings, had it custom made…"he trailed off. "The catch however is that you can't take anyone else with you. It has to be you. Too many risks if they allowed you to bring a friend. The snow globe will only activate at your touch Lily. It works kind of like a snitch." James said with a wry smile. "No one has ever touched it before; you were the first to touch it. It will recognize your touch from now on and you are the only one allowed to be transported by it. Everyone else that handled it, it handled it with gloves."
Lily laughed. "Trust you to incorporate quidditch into this." Lily said with a smile.
James gave her a small smile, deciding to tell her that he had tweaked it a little bit to allow only him to be transported with her. He held his tongue as Lily continued opening her presents. James watched with content as her eyes shone brighter with each present she opened.
OoOOoOoOoOo
"Julie gave you an awfully…intimate gift." Andrea said carefully, plopping down beside Lily that afternoon. Everyone else was trying to learn how to snowboard.
Lily laughed as she remembered Julie's gift. It had been a diamond tiara that had belonged to James great grandmother. Julie told her it was in actuality a family heirloom.
"I liked it." Lily said with a smile. Though she knew she would probably never get a chance to wear something as elaborate.
"It belonged to James Great grandmother." Andrea cut in slowly. "Lily, I-what I'm trying to tell you is that maybe….maybe you should give yourself and James another chance. His family obviously loves you. They treat you as if you're a permanent member of their family now." Andrea glanced over at Lily expectantly to see Lily looking at her feet, her hair falling around her as she lightly kicked at some snow.
"He doesn't even….and….I don't think James would ever seriously consider staying with me." Lily finally ended not looking at Andrea. There was a pause as an owl suddenly landed beside Lily with some mail for her. She stroked the owls feathers, relieving it of its burden but not examining the package and letter she now held in her hands. "He might say he wants to but at the end of the day Andrea, he left me to see if what he had with Rosalyn and himself was worth pursuing. Whether it was or not is his problem. I don't trust him anymore. How can I be sure that tomorrow he won't leave me to pursue someone else?" Lily murmured. "I won't take the risk Andrea."
With that Lily stood up, taking her new parcel which she knew, and Andrea assumed was from her parents, and went back inside.
A few hours later she began her search for James but whoever she asked said that they hadn't seen him. Lily finally found Sirius and James at the top of some unnamed hill, ready to snowboard down it.
"James I've been looking everywhere for you!" Lily exclaimed angrily as she faced him. Sirius who had been about to take off down the hill turned and opened his mouth to say something.
"Shut it." James snapped, looking at Sirius. Sirius shut his mouth and went back to concentrating on getting ready to go down the hill.
"What's up?" James asked, turning to look at Lily.
A small snicker from Sirius, suddenly told James what his best mates reply was going to be.
"If you open your mouth you won't get to choose when you go down that hill." James threatened. Sirius may be his best mate but he was actually quite miffed at the fact that Sirius was trying to make him jealous by flirting with Lily.
"My parents want us to come visit them for a night before we go back to Hogwarts." Lily said to James, expectantly.
Sirius suddenly turned back to stare at James. "Haven't you told her Prongs?"
"Told me what?" Lily asked looking at James.
"There's actually a dance off going on at Hogwarts." James replied. "It starts a week before school does. It's an international event and not open to the school of Hogwarts but rather to Ministry Officials, their families, friends of the ministry, as well as ministry officials from other countries. It is a way to…promote alliances among different nations." James quoted from the card he had gotten.
"You got an invite." Lily ended.
James gave her a small grin.
"You're not even a member of the Ministry!" Lily exclaimed.
"My family, however, is known for donating large amounts of money to the Ministry." James corrected with a cheeky grin. "Of course they're going to invite me. They want more donations!"
Lily hmphed and glanced over at Sirius. "What about you Sirius?"
James laughed. "I sent a letter to the Head of foreign affairs. His group is the one organizing this. Sirius as well as everyone else also got an invite."
Lily smiled. "This will be fun!" and then she sobered "What about my parents…"
"We'll stop by before we go to Hogwarts." James added hastily.
"Prongs never wants to miss a chance to see his in-laws." Sirius replied audaciously.
Before James could even react, Lily gave Sirius a hard shove down the hill. They heard his yells for a good few minutes until he finally regained his senses and was able to steer properly.
"Show off." Lily muttered as she watched Sirius do a complicated zigzag. "I know you guys are using charms on your boards."
"What would ever make you think that?" James asked innocently.
Lily gave him a look. James grinned sheepishly.
"I knew it!" Lily ended triumphantly.
"So uh…-" James searched for a change of subject and finally landed upon one. "What did your parents get you for your birthday?" he inquired.
Lily felt the starting of a blush on her cheeks.
"A golden locket with a lily pendant." Lily said, not mentioning the package had also contained newborn baby clothes and a note from her mum saying she hoped Lily could put those to good use.
"You're getting a lot of jewelry this year." James teased. "I'm happy I didn't get you jewelry. You would have gotten it mixed up with the rest of your gifts."
Lily laughed. "I like the jewelry. I don't mind. Though, I did really like your gift James." Lily suddenly took the snow globe out from a pocket in her robe. She shook the thing a few times to get the snow to fall around the Eiffel tower.
"Erm…there was another thing I forgot to tell you." James ended. Lily caught him suddenly sneaking a peek at his watch. "It's a good thing you found me." He finally said looking up from his watch. With a little lurch Lily realized it was the watch Rosalyn had given him for Christmas.
"Why is that?" Lily inquired trying to sound nonchalant.
"There's something I forgot to tell you about this snow globe." James said, getting off of his snowboard and coming to stand directly beside her. Lily had to double check herself to stop from leaning into him. "See half of the globe-" he suddenly snaked his arm around Lily's back and reached out to touch the right side, pulling Lily close against him. "-recognizes my touch." He ended with a murmur, his senses delighting in Lily being so near him now.
"Some gift." Lily said cheekily, trying to ignore his dizzying proximity. "You bought it for yourself just as much as you bought it for me."
James chuckled, rubbing his chin against the top of her head, he heard Lily's breath catch but she made no move to pull away so he did not change his position-with his arm practically wrapped across her waist as rested on the snow globe.
"I can only be transported though if I'm with you. You can go whenever you want sweetheart." He ended huskily, not believing that Lily was suddenly leaning against him of her own free will.
Lily took a deep breath trying to knock some sense into herself, what was she doing?!
"I arranged for…something." James ended quietly, his hand still resting against the snow globe. "Shake it 7 times Lily."
Lily obeyed and suddenly found herself at the top of the Eiffel tower.
"This is a one time thing." James said quietly. "Next time you'll have to pay the fee just like everyone else. You won't be transported to the top either."
"I don't care." Lily murmured in awe, as she looked down at the beautiful city. "This is….James…wow…!"
He suddenly wrapped his other arm around Lily as well and inhaled her scent as she gazed down from the top of the Eiffel tower. Then, without warning, fireworks started to go off and Lily sighed in pleasure as she watched the magnificent array of colors fill the sky. James smiled, knowing that she still had no clue that this was what he had arranged. However, when gold fireworks filled the sky to form the words Happy Birthday Lily, he watched in pleasure as Lily turned bright pink. She turned her head to look at James with wide eyes filled with disbelief.
"You did all this for me?" Lily whispered, looking up at him.
James could only bring himself to nod because the way she was looking at him was enough to bring him to his knees. He wanted to kiss her right now, right here and-
Lily let out a yelp and James tightened his grip around her in alarm as a firework came and exploded over their heads only to let a shower of rose petals fall over them. James smiled to himself as Lily held out her hands to catch the rose petals. He did not remove his arms from around her as she looked on with girlish delight as more fireworks went off. He thought he could never love anyone as much as he did right now. Just watching her pleasure as the fireworks shone their light on her face was enough to make James never want this moment to end. Finally, as the fireworks died down and the last of the rose petals fell around them he spoke.
"Happy Birthday Lily." He murmured softly in her ear. 'I love you so much' he thought to himself, gazing down at her, wanting to hold her closer….
It registered in his mind that Lily had suddenly stiffened in his grasp. He suddenly realized that he had just said 'I love you' out loud. He waited for the dread to mount in his stomach. The dread of telling her too soon and not waiting but instead he only felt relief. Relief that he had finally told her and that the glimmer of hope he had been carrying in secret was out in the open now.
"Lily." James prodded, knowing that he was expecting too much too soon. She wasn't even looking at him. She was looking the other way, her head down and body stiff. She suddenly turned to look at him and James saw a tempest of confusion in her eyes.
"James I-" Lily began with a shaky voice.
"Shhh." He whispered, putting a finger to her lips. He knew what she was about to say. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear 'James I can't' from Lily…anyone but Lily…but not Lily. "It's OK." He whispered. "You don't have to say it back Lily. I just want you to know how I feel. You don't…it's all right. But I really love you." He said with a smile, not wanting to ever stop saying it to her.
Lily looked at him so unsure and suspicious that James thought she was going to tell him to get lost.
"How do you know?" Lily finally asked.
"Because I never stopped loving you." He replied. "It's grown in me, day by day, until I'm overflowing with it. I-Lily I'm sorry about Rosa-" and suddenly he stopped as he watched her gaze drop to the watch Rosalyn had given him. James felt a sort of sinking feeling in his stomach. No matter what, would this mistake always be with him forever?
"Lily,no." James pleaded, suddenly moving to take the watch off. "This-" he said slipping the watch off in front of her eyes. "-is nothing compared to what I feel for you. Please don't…..she was a mistake. A huge mistake. I'm so sorry." He repeated.
"Sometimes-" Lily began quietly, revealing more than she had ever intended to. "-I can't help but think of the two of you together. You left me for her. It's made me so insecure as far as you and me are concerned. I won't risk being left alone again James. I can't….I mean….I don't want to live with this fear in a relationship. It's unhealthy.James in all actuality…you never really lost my heart, you lost my respect. It may be easy to win someone's heart, but it's not easy to win someone's respect, especially after you lose It." Lily ended quietly, not meeting his gaze.
James looked at her speechless, suddenly realizing the true impact of the decision he had made so long ago.
"I was confused Lily. You seemed so different from the Liz I had gotten to know on wizard net. I-I couldn't bring you two-Liz and Lily- together at the time. You two were still separate entities in my mind and it was confusing. Whenever I thought of you romantically it was only as Liz, never as Lily. I couldn't find the Liz I had gotten to know in you and then I saw Rosalyn and she was just so much more different than what I had ever known. I felt an attraction towards her that I didn't feel towards you at the time Lily because I couldn't think of you as Liz. It was all a mistake." He ended quietly. "And it won't happen again. I don't think of you as Liz anymore Lily. To me you're Lily and you're even more perfect than the Liz I had grown to love. I love the way you smile, the way you laugh….with Liz I loved reading her letters and chatting with her on Wizardnet…I loved the conversations we had….and with you Lily it's so much more. It's not only the conversation we have that I love, it's the things we do together, the times we touch each other…Lily I.."
He suddenly pulled Lily into a fierce hug. "I love you." He repeated not bothering to hide the emotion in his voice.
Maybe it was his tone in the end more than anything else that made Lily relax in his arms. He pulled her tighter against him.
"I want to see you all the time." He murmured. "I want to be able to hold you like this all the time." He suddenly felt her tensing up again in his arms and quickly yet soothingly spoke, " I'm not expecting you to say I love you too Lily. It's all right."
If possible Lily relaxed further in his arms. James couldn't help but notice however, that Lily didn't bring her arms to wrap around him. She didn't hug him back and that's when James realized that a mere confession was not going to make things right with him and Lily.
She was still too insecure and unsure. He had to show her….James clutched her tighter…because the thought of losing her now was too much.
Lily abruptly pulled away after a minute.
"We should be getting back." She ended lamely, holding her snow globe out for James to touch. He touched it, staring at her and not bothering anymore to hide his emotions from her. Lily looked away unwilling yet to believe that James eyes spoke the truth-he loved her, he truly loved her.
Below is the conversation me and my beta had while emailing this chapter to each other!! I think it is hilarious.
A/N:wow I actually got a little teary eyed around the end!!!
B/N(beta note):Sissy.
A/N: Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon, doesn't mean that….
B/N: Sissy.
A/N: w/e
B/N: Sissy.