All I did was burn his dog

Summary: In the darkness, Dio laments. Crack.

Author's Note: #diodidnothingwrong

If I had an explanation for this I'd tell you guys. (I have nothing)

Disclaimer: I think it's painfully obvious JJBA isn't mine.

Being locked in a coffin at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean gave a guy a lot of time to think. As such, Dio Brando had done a lot of thinking.

Blasted JoJo! He cursed in his mind. Not that it really mattered if he said it out loud, because, again, he was locked in a coffin. By himself.

All alone.

In solitude.

If only he hadn't gotten in the way! Then I'd be well on my way to taking over the world and turning everyone into vampires!

Gah! Where had he gone wrong? Was it when he stole Erina's first kiss from her? Or maybe when he killed JoJo's father? He didn't understand!

Now that he thought back on it, pretending to be Jonathan's brother then turning around and stabbing him in the back might have been the worst part of it all…nah. Dio punched the inside of his coffin (purple velvet, only the finest).

At least JoJo had a nice body.

…

Which would have sounded less creepy if it was put into context.

Or…not.

It was actually pretty creepy either way, but at least the two shared a moment during his death, with JoJo holding Dio's head to his bosom in an attempt to hold him still while Dio violently cursed and gnashed his teeth because hell no he was not going to die in an explosion he created—in fact, that would have been the lamest way to go.

Heh. He would've gone out with a bang.

The blonde would have laughed had he not felt that crying. Oh, he didn't deserve this! He didn't deserve any of this! Clearly it must've been his father's fault. He raised his child poorly and Dio wishes he took a longer time killing him.

Now was not the time to lament, however. Now was the time to scheme so when he finally escaped his grave he would be able to completely destroy someone else's lif—I mean, create a superior species of beings to rule the world.

A sudden epiphany dawned upon Dio Brando, accompanied with the singing of the heavenly host and a fanfare worthy of Julius Caesar. His mistakes came unto him with a perfect clarity, surrounded by an ethereal light.

JoJo probably would have joined him, had he not killed Danny.

The dog was the deal breaker! That had to be it! And while, yes, Dio was attempting to ruin JoJo's life and completely isolate him from the rest of the world, making sure he had no friends and no one to turn to, burning the dog alive was a bit much.

He could have at least, I don't know, put him on the next cart out of town or something. Then he wouldn't have had to listen to JoJo sobbing into the night.

Er, well, you get the picture.

Dio blew out a slow stream of air. Well. To be fair, he did overreact. It didn't really warrant shooting firey Hamon into his bloodstream so that his body would be torn apart and he'd never revive again. It wasn't like JoJo even knew the people he drank dry.

They were bread.

BREAD!

"I don't get it," Dio admitted out loud, finally. He did like the sound of his own voice, after all. "All I did was burn his dog?"