AN: Short Halloween one-shot. It's a birthday fic for SeaWasp on the ML! Happy Birthday. It's a silly little thing!


WARNINGS: 2xH, OOC, slight language. Don't like, don't read.

Like a Virgin

Duo adjusted his bow tie. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, glancing in the direction of the bedroom.

"Yes, I'm sure, and we're not doing this for me. We're doing this for you, silly!" Hilde answered and giggled. He was going to flip when he saw her.

"But, aren't we a little too old to be doing this?" he asked.

"No, especially when you've never done it before!" Hilde answered, as if it was the silliest thing in the world to be asking.

"But..." he struggled to find the words. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He did look good, but he couldn't stop thinking about what was going to happen.

"Oh Duo! Just shut up and enjoy it, okay? Now, I'm coming out!" she warned.

Duo sighed one last time and resigned himself to his fate. Putting his mask on, he turned around to see his sexiest fantasy come true. He gulped, gulped again, and gulped a third time.

Hilde smiled at him innocently, putting her finger on her chin. She even had the pigtails. "So, you like it?"

Duo struggled to regain his breath. "Damn," he muttered. "Hilde, that's underwear," he managed to say to her. He looked at her up and down.

Hilde giggled at his reaction. "No it's not, Duo. It's a costume. It's a Catholic-school-girl costume. I made it myself!" she stated proudly, twirling around in front of him.

Duo ran to her and covered her body with his long cape. "No! Nobody must see you like this! Only me! You can't go out in that!" he said quietly. He looked around as if making sure nobody was around.

Hilde laughed and stepped out of his embrace. "Duo, it's just a costume, and it's just for tonight. Why can't I go out like this?"

"Because there are hormone-driven teenage boys out there!" he said loudly, pointing to the door.

"And what are you, Duo?" she asked with an eyebrow raised. "An eighteen year old priest?"

Duo struggled with himself to find another reason to stay home. "We don't match! Our costumes have nothing to do with each other. We have to stay home!"

Hilde sighed. "Duo, why don't you want me to go out there?"

Duo pouted. "Don't you know that every guy dreams of a beautiful girl as a school girl? It's every guy's wet dream, Hilde! You can't go around making guys' wet dreams come true!" he whined.

Hilde smiled and patted his shoulder. "Duo, it's time to go. So grab your bag 'cause we're going trick-or-treating, baby!"

Duo pouted again but grabbed his bag from the table and walked to the door sullenly. "When you get attacked by a pack of wild, hormone-driven, teenage boys don't come crying to me," he muttered under his breath.

Hilde turned sharply to him and asked suspiciously, "What was that, Duo?"

"Nothing babe," he said meekly.

"Okay, Duo. Let me just give you a few ground rules. First, we stay together because I'd hate to go around doing this by myself. Two: You have to say trick-or-treat in every house, okay?"

"Okay, but what is that for?" he asked, pointing to the extra bag she carried.

Hilde smiled evilly. "Oh this is just for when people tell us we're too old to be trick-or-treating," she answered sweetly.

Duo eyed her suspiciously. "Yeah, but what exactly does the bag have inside?" he asked.

"Just the essentials, Duo. You know, eggs and TP."

*~*~*~*

It was around ten o'clock when they decided to stop and rest. So far, they had gotten a ton of candy and had egged and/or TP'ed four houses. Hilde had liked that better than the candy, but she'd never mention it to Duo. He was having fun with everything they did.

"So, you still feel like a lamb to the slaughter, honey?" she asked him.

Duo smiled warmly at her. "No, but I do feel like a virgin. This is great, I didn't know getting candy and vandalizing houses could be so fun! Did you see the look on their faces..." he trailed off, still laughing.

"You regret coming out like this?" she asked him, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers.

"No, but I still don't like your costume."

"Yes you do. C'mon! Let's just egg and TP a few more houses and go home, okay?" she asked tugging his hand in the direction she wanted to go in.

"Okay."

They were nearing another block of houses when they spotted a group of teenagers congregating in front of someone's house. 'Oh well,' thought Hilde. 'We'll just walked right by them and ignore them.'

Duo tensed. These we're vandals that liked to terrorize little kids and take their candy. He didn't know if they were quite ready for this. He shook his head and kept walking right beside Hilde.

"Well, look at that. It's my dream come true," one said in a slurred voice, obviously drunk.

"Hey baby, what are you doing with a pansy like that when you could be with me?" said another one, equally drunk.

Duo stopped in his tracks. 'Did they just call me a pansy?' he thought.

Hilde looked at the boys harshly and easily flipped them off with one of her hands. "Come on, baby, they're not worth it," she said to Duo.

But Duo had other ideas. His fists were clenched at his sides, his bag of candy lay forgotten on the street by his feet.

"Look at the little man, I think he wants to fight," said the first boy. He stood up as straight as he could, despite his inebriated state, and walked over to where Duo stood. But before he could get within three feet of Duo, he was stopped by a pixie in a Catholic school girl uniform.

"You did not just call my man 'Little Man'!" she said to him.

"This is between me and your pansy little man, baby. So, be a good girl and get your cute little ass over on the other side of the street," said the teenager with a sneer.

Hilde saw red. She pulled back her arm and punched the guy on the nose, liking the way it broke against her knuckles. She stepped back and said, "Go ahead, Duo he's all yours."

Duo smirked and said, "Nah, babe, you go right ahead."

"You broke my nose, you bitch!" he yelled but made no move against Hilde. One of his friends came over to see how he was, another moved towards Duo, but was stopped in his tracks by Hilde's foot. The youth doubled over in pain, holding his family jewels in his hands.

The rest of the gang just stared at them in shock and took off running. "Go ahead and run, ya fuckers!" yelled Hilde. "I got something for your punk asses too!" She turned to Duo who was holding his sides, he was laughing too hard.

They looked down at the two boys on the ground and the one that had stuck around to help them. "Ya'll want some more from my girl over here?" asked Duo pointing at the small girl by his side. He laughed again and took Hilde's hand and headed home, leaving the three boys to their predicament.

"Oh babe, you saved my life back there," Duo said laughing. "You kicked their butts good!"

Hilde unlocked the door to their house and pushed Duo inside. He laughed some more, as if he too were drunk like the gang had been. "Yeah, I did didn't I?" she asked, ushering him towards the bedroom. "But I'm 100% sure none of them will get this tonight," she said, unbuttoning her shirt slowly to reveal a lacy white bra.

Duo gulped. "I love it when you kick ass, babe. That's why I love you!" Duo said, licking his lips. "And I'm sure too that they won't be getting any of this," he said sitting on the bed, letting Hilde have her way with him for the rest of the night.


The End...


AN: How did you guys like it? I hope you did and if you didn't, I hope you read the warnings. Please R&R.