Oh, I know, another story! GrammarDemon asked if there was ever going to be Dean's perspective to Fifty First Dates and then this happened. I'll be catching this up to where 50FD is, then writing the chapters together and posting simultaneously, when I do update. Hopefully, anyway. As they're companion pieces, dialogue will repeat.

Also, I'm off to Asylum12 tomorrow! Driving to my friend's house an hour and a half away on my own, absolutely pooing myself! It'll be fine once she's in the car :D just have to get to her! But deep, in three days time I'll be hanging with Jared and Misha and everyone. Still don't quite believe it! anyway, enjoy!

It's funny how things settle into a routine. Even in a job like mine, you find yourself following the same patterns, doing the same things, even without meaning to.

Like how Sammy's suddenly decided, in some latest health-kick maybe, that whenever we're not working a job, or we're just doing research, that he's going to sleep at ten every night. And he's stuck to it, every night. I wish I could switch off so easy, but I'm lucky if I sleep at all.

Luckily, my best friend is a being who can't sleep, because his angel mojo means he never has to. So we've started our own routine of waiting for Sam to go to sleep and we drink beer and shoot the shit, talk about all kinds of things. I've been trying to get Cas talking about all kinds of things he finds strange about humans. He's such a kooky guy, but he's good for comedy. I loved him talking about salad. He was all "I don't understand why Sam looks for various uncooked vegetables to cut them up and mix them together just to eat them separately. It seems an odd practice." Cas is comedy gold.

Tonight, he's been talking about human mating rituals - his words, he means dating - and his opinion is, well, I guess it's an angel thing.

"Humans have very complex mating rituals, I've noticed over the years. You all like to believe that you're the more advanced generation, but it's not true. There are repetitions that occur, it just depends on which style is more acknowledged." See? Total angel thing. I think he's told me the divine equivalent of your generation didn't invent sex, you know. But Cas is just getting warmed up. "I don't fully understand where the distinctions come from, but I know some people prefer to announce themselves as a couple, and eventually declare themselves betrothed. And once they've married, they finally have intercourse."

I was not expecting him to say that. I nearly spat my beer out, then sucked in a breath and ended up almost choking instead. He barely let me recover before he carried on talking.

"And there are people like yourself, who will have sex with several partners in a row, who see it completely separate to a relationship. Who don't even seem interested in a relationship."

So … wait, does Cas think I'm not interested in dating? I've dated before. I've had relationships before. There's been girls I've wanted to date who haven't been interested. I still regret not banging Jo Harvelle, she was amazing. And did Cas just call me a whore? He paused for a moment, so I guess he was just letting that sink in.

'Then I've noticed, there are those who seek a partner. They may be with their partner for one night, or a week, maybe even a year, but they're the ones unsatisfied with their lot. So after the night, or the week, however long, they look for another partner, someone who will fill the void they believe that they have. That's what I've noticed about humans approaches to courting.'

That actually sounds more like me. But explaining that to Castiel feels like it'd be more effort than it's worth. I feel a little bit like I have to defend humans right now, probably because somehow, and I don't know how, but somehow this feels personal.

'Sometimes it's not that black and white, Cas. And there's all kinds of relationships out there. It depends on who you are, how the person you're with defines themselves, what you're trying to get out of the situation, whether you're on the same page. Some people get married to the people they thought were going to be one night stands. Some people never get married.'

He did that slow blink, head tilt, squint thing he does. Does he think all humans stay the same, forever? Is that what normal angels are like? Because Cas changes a lot, man. He's practically human himself. He just doesn't realise it yet.

'I don't think I understand, Dean.'

Great, now I have to explain something really basic like it's a fucking math formula. Why can't Sam handle Cas when he's like this? He never seems to struggle with any of Sam's concepts.

'Well, like, you mentioned me. And you'd be right, sometimes, most times, sex is just sex. Okay, it's not just sex, because it's sex, you know? It's one of my favourite things to do, and most of the time, I'm just looking for someone willing to join in, to enjoy it for what it is, no expectations that I'd even be there in the morning. And I'm lucky Cas, there's a lot of women out there who are okay with it, so long as you spell it out. But I've had relationships too. I was with Cassie for a few years. I keep going back to Lisa. And when I was with both of them, sex with anyone else was off the cards. Sex with the two of them was off the cards until they made it clear it was what they wanted. And I was happy to wait, Cas, because they meant something. And if it took a whole week for them to decide to sleep with me, it was fine.'

I meant that last bit as a joke. Of course I woulda waited longer for Cassie and Lisa, if they wanted that. I don't think Cas got that, because he settled on something else I'd said. I wish I knew what he's getting at.

'What made you decide to treat Cassie and Lisa differently?'

I laughed, and took a sip of beer, Cas watching me closely as I did, leaning forward in his seat a little. He's getting really intense … oh man, he has a girl, doesn't he? He's met some human and he wants dating advice and he's smart enough to know not to ask me for any straight up. I wish I could make it any easier on him, the poor guy, but it's just not that black and white.

'You just know, Cas, like, deep in your gut. When you're with them, it's different, and you can feel that it's different for them too. It's, I don't know, intuition. You just, you know you can talk about it, and they'd say they want the same thing too. Or maybe not even that, maybe you both love the same music or the same food, or you've been friends forever and somehow you keep thinking of something more with them. And you give a crap about hearing about their day and wanna learn stuff about them. Trivial shit that doesn't really mean anything, not in the big picture, but somehow make their day better. Which side of the bed they sleep on, which hand they write with, favourite colours, how they take their coffee. Whatever. And normally you wouldn't care how someone you'd just screwed took their coffee, but the one you wanna wake up next to the next day, and the day after that? It's good to know if you need to get creamer in the morning, you know?'

He sat there for a second, and I knew he was taking it all in. Good, maybe we can get off this topic because I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. I hope he got enough out of that to figure out what to do about this chick, whatever the issue is.

'How do you take your coffee, Dean?'

Did … did I hear him right? Is he practicing for some chick? Or … I found myself laughing, nervously. No, he's definitely checking out what to do about this chick. But he shouldn't ask that sort of thing until he knows for sure he has an in. Maybe I didn't make that clear. I patted his shoulder in a total bro kind of way, and tried to calm him down. Boy's going to chase the tail away like this.

'Don't worry about it, Cas. And you don't have to ask me, you don't even know how to make coffee, right? You don't have to learn how I have it.'

Just this chick, Cas that's all you have to worry about. He looked at my hand, like it had more answers, like somehow my hand on his arm meant we could communicate in some other way, or even, I don't know, he'd get some kind of magic strength from me. And he shifted in his seat slightly, looking really uncomfortable. It can't be me touching him, we hug all the time. So what's got him acting so … oh. Maybe the 'or' was right. Shit, is Cas hitting on me? My mouth started moving before my head caught up.

'Well, gee Cas … I mean … you know … I haven't really - because it's not … is that what you … you know?'

He shook his head, like he had neck ache or something. Like he's realising I don't like him back and he can't take it. Crap, am I about to lose Cas? Because you know, he's my best friend, I don't want to lose him. I let go of him while I tried to think about how the hell I get out of this conversation without him turning around and leaving and never coming back. I can't have him leave. Maybe the best way to deal with this, is to act like him. I'll be totally literal, and take him at face value.

'Black. Strong. Sugar depends on how many nights I've already gone without sleep.'

He did that thing where his eyes narrowed for a second. So it's okay for him to give it out and not me?

'Dean, I-'

'I know what you meant, Cas. So, what are you asking for here?' I cut him off, and dropped the bullshit. Because maybe I'm still reading him wrong and he needs to grow some balls and admit to whoever this chick is. He stared at me for a moment, like … well, like he's seen a ghost. He's gone the angel equivalent of pale. And then he spoke, boldly and confidently, like he was standing up to me. Did I go into one of those moods again?

'I would like to experience a date. Or a series of dates.'

'So you want me to hook you up with someone?' Is that his problem? He's feeling self-conscious or something? He thinks I could talk him up? Hell yeah, I can talk my boy up!

'No, I don't wish for a "hook up" Dean. I would like to experience a series of dates with someone who you described. Someone I have a friendship with, who-'

'Who you can make coffee for?' I get it. Oh, I get it. He looks so eager, like he's done the hard work now and my saying that was basically agreeing. God, what do I do? I'm still trying to work this out. I need to stop this conversation, somehow. But there's only one way I can think of. 'Sure Cas. Make me coffee in the morning. We'll work the rest out later.'

He smiled so big I thought I was going to see some Grace leak out. Crap, am I leading him on? At least I guess, I solved one mystery. I'm the chick he wants to hit on. I just gotta work out what to do about that kind of information. I stood up and stretched, and could feel his eyes on me. Is he … is he fucking me in his head or something right now?

'Night, Cas.' I muttered, flopping on my bed and closing my eyes. I heard him shuffle off into the bathroom and turn the shower on, and I took the chance to get rid of my clothes, and crawl under the covers, even though I knew with Cas saying what he's said, and hinting even more, there was no way I was going to sleep at all.

You ever do that thing where you know someone real well, and don't think much about it, and then they say something or do something and it's all you can think about? I can't stop thinking about Cas talking about being into me, in his roundabout way. I keep finding myself looking at him, trying to work out … I don't know what. Whether I was reading him wrong? Whether I could feel that way back? How I can get out of this? I honestly don't know.

I tried to picture it. Like, dating Cas. Letting him touch me, trying to kiss him. I felt weird, like I was watching some really questionable porn. But at the same time, I don't know-

'DEAN! LOOK OUT!'

I slammed on the brakes and twisted the wheel hard, narrowly avoiding whacking the Impala into the back of a ten-tonne truck. Shit. Shitshitshit.

'Maybe I should drive?' Sam put out there. Normally I'd tell him to go screw himself, but I think he's right. It was my fault, Cas is in the back, staring at the back of my head. And I was looking at him, in the rearview. And I forgot that my Baby was at stake here.

'Yeah, sure. Sorry.'

Sam gave me a judgemental look.

'Maybe you need to sleep it off, man?'

Maybe I need to beat one out. I shrugged, and climbed over as Sam ran around the car. And when I looked in the side mirror, I caught Cas' eye. He was staring at me, again. But this time, I couldn't look away. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and I really hoped he couldn't tell what I was thinking. Which was nowhere near wondering if Cas' mouth was soft like a girl's or if angels knew how to kiss. Well, okay, Anna did … never mind.

We got to a new town, and booked into another crappy motel, and I kinda threw myself into researching the case Sammy had found. Even after Sam turned in for his ten o'clock bedtime I was still forcing myself to focus on the information in front of me. But Castiel sat in the chair beside mine again, and I got distracted. Again. There was so much tension coming from the guy, I ended up opening with a dumb joke.

'So, did you get me coffee?'

I looked up, and saw him frowning, like he was about to get real upset. Oh, dammit Cas, take a joke!

'Forgive me, Dean. I could find some, if it's important to you.'

'No, it's good.'

'I know you like a strong black coffee, sugar content increasing as your sleep deprivation builds.'

I had to smile when he said that. He was actually paying attention, huh? Enough to rephrase what I said into Cas speak. And talking of sleep, I had to check Sam definitely was. Joking about coffee is one thing, but moving on to what that means? I don't want Sam listening in.

'So, say we're on a date, what would we be doing?'

Cas shrugged back, like he didn't understand the question. I realised that it was the first time either of us had said out loud about it being us on a date. Romantically. No wonder he's so awkward.

'We would be on a date.'

'Yeah, Cas, I got that. What would you want to do?'

'Date you.'

Well, at least he finally grew the balls to say it, though I still don't know what he means by that. I don't think he does. Which one of his examples applied to him? Like, he's not expecting me to marry him, just to get laid, is he? And picturing kissing him is one thing, and that's weird enough. But sex? Sex with Cas? I can't go there right now. Besides, I get the feeling that something else is making him uncomfortable. I don't think he's studied humans dating patterns as much as he thinks he has. Or maybe he missed the point?

'Do you not know what people do on dates?' Cas shook his head. 'Well, it depends on who's on the date, but most people like to go to a fancy restaurant, dressed up real nice, and they talk while they eat, share a bottle of wine, get to know each other, that kind of thing.'

'We already know each other,' he pointed out, staring at my chest. Is he checking me out? Or is he hinting that he wants the physical stuff and that whole crap last night was a way of getting me to agree to … yeah I still can't go there, not fully.

'Well, some people go to movies and spend the entire time making out with each other, ignoring the entire reason they're there. That's always fun,' I laughed, remembering the time I snuck into a movie when I was fifteen with a girl. It was an R movie, and we were staying at Bobby's at the time and he freaked out when I got back at two in the morning but it was worth it for all the fooling around we did.

'Would you take me to the movies one time, maybe?'

'One time? How many dates are you expecting, Cas?'

'How many are you willing to give me?'

I have no idea. I haven't thought this far ahead. And the way he asked that, the eagerness in his voice alone … he's expecting something long-term, isn't he? He's staring at me again, at my face this time. He's expecting more than I can give. I need to be honest with the guy, because this is getting way out of my hands.

'One date, Cas. Let's take it one date at a time.'

He looked like I'd hit him then, he turned away and if angels could cry, I'm sure he would've. I didn't mean … I meant … can't he just let me come around to this idea in my own time? I'm not saying one date only, I'm saying one date, definitely. If we work, then of course there'd be more. But if not then at least we can still be best friends, you know? But he's acting like I shut him down. At some point on our date, I'm going to have to clue him in to the idea that self-confidence is sexy as hell.