Title: Wooing The Trickster.

Author: Teofse

Rating: G

Pairing: Loki/Tony

Genre: Slash. Romance. Humor.

Word Count: ?

Warnings: None. Unbetaed.

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters. No money is being made out of this work.

Summary: "Get ready to be swept off your feet, Loki of Asgard, because my fucking heart has finally found its match, and I'm afraid it's you."

Wooing The Trickster.

Trying to get into Loki's scorching-hot leather pants was frustrating beyond measure. The guy not only exuded that I'm-way-too-cool-to-fuck-a-mere-mortal attitude like a high-end perfume, he was also an all or nothing sort of bloke. He either hated you with every breath he took or tried to deny that he'd grown used to loving so fucking hard that he'd ended up shattering like glass every time he'd been betrayed in the past. 'How could anyone who knows him ever mistake Loki's heartbreak for real hatred? His emotions are plastered all over his eyes for everyone to see. You are such a blind idiot, Thor.'

It had been as easy as pie for Tony to see past the familiar blank mask the Trickster wore so well. He understood the God's self-despised emotional neediness too fucking much to remain as detached as he'd have liked to be. He'd always had the same tendencies. The same cravings. The same terrifying desire to give everything he's ever been or will eventually become to someone, anyone, who could possibly come close to understanding him –and yes, that definitely included every single fucked-up part of himself.-

He'd been searching all his life for that special someone who could love his darkness just as much as everyone else wanted to love his light. He'd been waiting for that frankly elusive 'someone' who was meant to come into his life one day and not only be able, but also willing, to put up with all his bullshit without trying to change every unpleasant little quirk of his selfish nature. He'd waited for someone he could claim and who would claim him in return. Someone he could belong to without any restraints. Someone willing to catch him, willing to bring him back to safety every time he fell.

After working with the irritatingly reserved Frost-Giant/Asgard's-kickass-sorcerer-prince for two years, as part of the 'light punishment' that daddy-dearest had imposed on his baby boy after the New York debacle, Tony had come to the conclusion that Loki Odinson could very easily become his very own 'someone', if only he could convince the bloody idiot to look his way for a second.

The problem with that was that the gorgeous bastard had some sort of tunnel vision when it came to understanding how normal people interacted with one another. He either knew you existed or he didn't. And the fact that the bloke he had the uber-mushy girly hots for was the one creature currently on Earth who seemed pretty much immune to the 'Stark Charm' was driving Tony up the wall.

He gritted his teeth as the object of his unfortunately more-than-lustful affections took one thoroughly unimpressed look at the first magic-compatible Stark phone he'd ever designed before placing it back in it's box with a small moue of disgust. 'Ok. So having this emotionally stunted jerk dismiss the awesome tech you've spent six months developing for his benefit hurts like a bitch, but you already knew this could happen, Tony. This guy can crush your heart without even meaning to, so play it cool, man. Play it real cool.'

"What possible use could I have for your little Midgardian toys, Stark? I'm already being forced to live in your tower so that S.H.I.E.L.D can find me without going to the trouble of seeking me out, and it isn't as if I have a long list of mortal acquaintances to share irritatingly vacuous conversations with."

Tony's fists itched to punch the bastard's nose almost as strongly as his lips tingled with the urgent desire to kiss that maddeningly disdainful smirk right off his face. He'd be willing to bet that the shock of finding himself on the receiving end of the kind of soul-sucking smooch Tony wanted to plant on his godly-lips would be enough to melt that irritating derision right off Loki's unfairly gorgeous features.

Maybe he should go ahead and do just that. It'd be wonderfully satisfying to bash that infuriatingly oblivious head with the clue-club of undeniable realization once and for all. Yeah, he'd definitely feel better about this mess if he made a grab for more, instead of forcing himself to take all this bullshit on the chin like a good little mortal.

"You don't do this very often, do you, reindeer?" He asked with as much mocking sweetness as he could possibly muster while his heart pounded a mile a minute in reaction to the sheer madness of what he was girding his loins to say with his next breath.

Loki frowned, clearly puzzled by the unexpected question.

"Do what?"

"This. Receive a gift from someone who doesn't want a fucking thing from you besides attention."

"I'm not in the habit of indulging attention seekers."

Tony had to smile at the huffy tone. Loki's attempt at denying the obvious was pretty adorable, even if his claim was so clearly fake that it wasn't all that funny.

"You mean you are not in the habit of indulging anyone because nobody has ever bothered to cosy up to you, don't you?"

"I will not tolerate your disrespect, Stark!" Loki hissed, gorgeous green eyes narrowed to convey so much offended indignation that Tony's foolish heart all but melted in the face of the God's pointless posturing.

"I like you, cupcake. I know it sounds sudden, but... you are a really hard God to worship. I've been trying for a while. A ridiculously long while, to be honest. Did you know that nothing works with you?"

"I don't understand."

"You thought the chocolates I sent you were poisoned and used the mindbogglingly expensive flowers I had delivered to your room for that magical mumbo-jumbo potion nonsense of yours. Don't even try to deny it, perfect lips, because J.A.R.V.I.S told me everything you did to those fragile little petals."

"What on Midgard...?"

"And don't even get me started on all my carefully planned oh-so-casual invitations out for a drink or two. What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? Just because we work together doesn't mean that every time I suggest going out for a pint I'm giving you leeway to turn my relaxing afternoon off into some sort of creepy team-bonding exercise with the entire Avenger crew."

"Shield brothers always drink together in Asgard, Stark."

"Newsflash: we are not in Asgard and I'm not your brother in any shape or form, Bambi. I'm just a bloke. A regular horny bloke who has been trying every trick in the book to get to first base with you for eighteen months, man!"

"Excuse me?"

"No excusing allowed. I'm totally pissed off, OK? For all that cunning cleverness is supposed to be your middle name you are annoyingly thick about anything that's even remotely related to sexy times, hot stuff. I'm gonna stop the subtlety crap altogether and come right at you. I'll do it with bells on and everything. It'll be awesome."

"Bells? What bells? Why must you speak in such infuriating riddles? I can't make sense of a single thing you are saying."

"We should hook-up, gorgeous. That's the nutshell version of my speech."

Loki gaped like a landed fish and took two hasty steps backwards, clearly trying to decide whether he was being pranked or Tony had genuinely lost all his marbles.

"Are you mad?" The God hissed, halfway between genuinely incredulous and positively incensed.

Tony's chocolate-brown eyes glinted with purpose and he smirked with savage satisfaction as soon as he saw the trickster's pale face blush in flustered reaction to the blatant leer he threw his way.

"Yes, reindeer. I'm crazy. I'm God-dammed, stark raving mad about you, babe, and I'm seriously planning to charm those leather pants right off you."

The sorcerer looked more than merely shocked. He'd clearly been rendered speechless by Tony's little announcement and wasn't going to be able to keep ignoring his existence from now on, even if he tried.

"You wish to bed me?" Loki scoffed after spending an entire minute glaring at him with affronted indignation. "You are even more arrogant than I gave you credit for if you honestly believe I'd ever spread my legs for you, mortal."

Tony shrugged carelessly and blew him a cheeky kiss, just to see him squirm with embarrassment like a flustered virgin.

"I'm more arrogant than that, princess. I don't want to simply 'bed' you, as you so charmingly put it. I want the whole shebang. I'm aiming for the entire wildly passionate, heart-pounding, extraordinary love of the ages scenario."

"That's perfectly ridic..."

"I want the kind of romantic KABOOM! that could burn the hearts of ordinary people into dust because I simply refuse to settle for something as mediocre as empty lust. I played that game already and it was... soulless. So here's your fair warning, gorgeous: I really, really, like you. I think we'd be as close to perfect together as either of us can get. So get ready to be swept off your feet, Loki of Asgard, because my fucking heart has finally found its match and I'm afraid it's you."

TBC...