Escaping Goto's yacht was brilliant and so very simple. My Bounty sliced the computer switched all primary control to secondary control systems via an emergency protocols and then shut down the secondary controls. The rest was up to the bounty hunters. Once Goto's ship was visible with both her shields down and no weapons it was only a matter of time before it was obliterated.
All we had to do was make it from the bridge to the hanger deck. Not quite so easy as we would have liked. As much as the bounty hunters swarmed the ship they swarmed my Jedi.
She opened up a can of Jedi whoop-ass. She Force-blasted enemies into the walls, shocked them with lightning, stunned them. Many she beheaded or impaled with her lightsaber. Visas did more malevolent acts, she used lightening, and caused her targets to be so stricken with fear they were paralytic with insane terror. They moved swiftly with lightsabers cutting down all enemy incursions.
After we escaped Goto's yacht and made it back to safety in one relative piece, my bounty… my Exile walked up to me. We were on the Ebon Hawk fleeing back to Nar Shaddaa's refugee sector.
"What do you want now?" I snapped with false and yet true anger. Mislaid anger I think is a more apt phrase, but at this point I could give a flying nerf's ass. I just wanted to be mad.
"I wanted to apologize."
Great, just great, she had to have true sincerity in her voice, true repentance. Damn it all to hell and back I wanted to be mad at her.
"Whatever," I waved her off; maybe she would just go away. "Don't worry about it; it's a sore subject with me."
She sat down near me, no armour, no weapon, but I was a fool if I thought her defenseless.
"Still, I am sorry you lost your family at Malachor V," her voice was soft, gentle and most of all filled with true earnestness and deeper remorse. And pain… such pain.
"Yeah well they're dead. That's how the story ends." My voice ceased to be bitter and had flat undertones but was no less remorseful for the loss of my parents and siblings.
She looked down at her hands and I saw such unbearable ache etched in those azure eyes. Gods her eyes speak volumes.
My voice lost the edge to it. "But not everyone has to end with losing their family or their loved ones. And not all the bounty hunting is for criminals or killers."
She perked up at my admission. "What do you mean?"
I spoke with all the compassion and depth I felt at that moment in crippling honesty. "There are a lot of lost people out there. Scattered ever since the Mandalorian wars, the Jedi Civil War. Sometimes… it's like you can almost hear them, like an echo calling out for each other. And maybe… just maybe by finding them I can start putting the galaxy back together."
"All things are connected through the Force. From such acts of kindnesses great things may come." Sagely advice from the mouth of one so very young, Zez-Kai Ell never said anything like that to me.
I don't think I believed it but she did. "Maybe, we will see." I got up and stormed around the confines of the alcove. "I don't even know why I am telling you this. But…"
"Mira… I don't want anything more out of you."
I scoffed. But I knew she meant it. "Your family? You remember them?"
"I was taken when I was three to Coruscant. Like you said, Jedi don't have family and an Exile even less."
Guess I am not the only one who sore about family loss. "Sorry."
"Don't be. How can you miss what you don't remember?" she tried to smile.
She looked away then and I knew I had to drop the subject. I know she lost a lot. I heard from the others how the Force was ripped away from her… how the Jedi cast her out for answering the pleas of those under the Mandalorian war mongering. After the fall of the Cathar home world Revan rose to the defense; Meetra was the first to join after Malak. She was the only one to come back to face Trial for defying the Council. She lost the Force… I don't think I want to imagine what that had to be like. How did she survive it? Maybe she didn't. It's like I can feel her wound. Her constant pain.
The Jedi Masters are terrified of her because she survived without the Force when they knew they couldn't. But how did she do it?
Zez-Kai Ell was right about my Bounty in one regard. She has something about her that draws people... all of us in- even that old creepy Witch Kreia, to her. I know that old crone is up to something. I know the Exile feels it too but she doesn't do anything about it. It's like she watching and waiting for the old woman to make her move.
After we landed I took her back to my safe house to meet with Zez-Kai Ell. She wouldn't speak about the meeting to anyone not even Kreia who asked if she found what she was looking for. Our Exile only said that the old master was going to Dantooine to meet with Master Vrook and there were other masters to find. I think she was under the impression that with the combined forces of the Masters they would able to push back the Sith Lord's darkness that gobbled up worlds.
In order to keep my Bounty- my bounty- I had to travel with her. No problem. I don't have anywhere else to go. Besides if I'm not with her, she's bound to get into trouble. She doesn't find it; trouble just seeks her out and clings to her like a mynock on a power cable.
Trouble comes in several forms. Ebon Hawk's pilot if he could be called such for he crashed more shuttles, runabouts, gunships and the Hawk itself more times than is countable. Kreia is right- the man is a fool.
Atton watches her constantly; always lurking around. Either he has a thing for her or maybe for the choir boy. Whatever it is, I don't like him sniffing around my Exile. I caught him once spying on my Exile as she and the Disciple were in one of the dormitories meditating.
"Meditation envy?" I said coming up behind him.
"Go sit on a rocket."
"What is your problem?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"All right. You know Atton, sometimes it's no wonder you can't figure yourself out the way you lie to yourself all the time. I've hunted a lot of people in my line of work but I've never met someone who wants to get lost more than you do. I've got a pretty good idea why, but not the whole picture, I will though. My advice. Come clean before I find out. And stop watching her. She's got enough problems."
He pisses me off the way he watches her. He means to do something and the way she is a bit naive in the ways of intimacy it scares me. I have to look out for her in the same the way she looks out for all the other innocents. Someone's got to. Kreia kinda does in a matronly like way calling Atton a fool and I agree with her. He is a fool, but a dangerous fool. And the Exile… she is someone who is so confused by men. She finds them as a sex confusing. And she dodges their advances but that doesn't stop them from trying.
Mical and Atton vie for her attention, for her favor. That soft spoken warrior Bao-Dur is the only one I trust with Exile because he only sees her as the General. His General. Visas. I don't know about her. She has a thing for the Exile too. I know because so do I and I haven't known her all that long… personally.
I knew her for the week or two my target was on Nar Shaddaa and I got to know her, got to know the type of person she is and what she is about.
But persona-wise she is… well she is just who she is.
And yeah I'm beginning to develop deeper feelings for her. One night while on the ship she noticed that I was a bit restless. But that has always been me. I hate all this sitting around traveling. I'd rather be doing something. Disciple, he savors the quite moments, me they make me edgy.
So one night she took me to the cargo bay-come-gym and started to work out on some makeshift weights. What the hell? It was a way to pass the time so I went to one of the machines Bao-Dur created and started to work on my triceps and biceps.
"So there must be a story between you and that walking carpet, Hanharr." She said between sets of lifts. "Rival bounty hunters or something deeper?"
"Hanharr's only a bounty hunter because that's the closest word for what he does. He's not out for credits. It's more vicious than that, and it runs a lot deeper." I sounded, even to me, dismissive. From my Exile's expression I knew she wanted more info on the whole sordid topic. Why not tell her everything?
"It's like he's out to make the whole galaxy suffer and everything in it. He wants to break them, ruin them, and when they can't suffer anymore he wants them dead. And sometimes he just hunted humans for sport. The ones who survived he sold to the Exchange, to the Hutts, to anyone who'd buy the bodies. Living or dead. He and Vogga used to do big credit transactions. That Hutt really liked the look of unwrinkled humans for some reason. Didn't make him too popular with the other Hutts let me tell you."
She smirked at that. Yeah I almost forgotten she dressed herself up in a metal bikini to dance for the slug, just so she could sneak into his storeroom and collect stolen Jedi artifacts.
"What happened between you two?" She said gently pulling me back to the main topic and not the fantasy of seeing such a wonderful body in that metal getup.
"I didn't kill him, biggest mistake ever." I shook my head at the memory of that bloody day.
"How do you factor in?"
"I was prey. Not only did I escape but I saved his life while doing it. He's been hunting me ever since."
"That seems strange." Her soft brown eyebrows formed a 'V' in a frown.
"Wookiees and logic don't mix, so don't even try it. You'll just end up with a sore head for trying. I don't pretend to understand it, but among his people they have these codes of honor. But somewhere along the line Hanharr's got twisted. His people form these things called life debts. If you save the life of one of them they pledge themselves to you."
"That doesn't sound too bad." She moved on the workout machine so she was doing weighted leg-lifts.
"Well with Hanharr… he can't escape that life debt. It's bred into him. But he hates every other living thing in the galaxy… so pledging himself to someone else especially a human is unbearable. So when I saved his life, it was the worst thing I could do. It was like slavery all over again. It was in his head. It was like it pushed him over the edge."
"What do you mean?" Her blue eyes watched me in earnest attention and I felt myself fall into the cerulean void.
"A life debt to Hanharr is a death sentence; he'll hunt you until you're dead. When I saved his life it meant he had to kill me. And so he kept chasing me in the hopes I would die. I think the fact I showed him mercy after hating humans for so long that something he couldn't stand."
"That life debt makes no sense."
"Tell me about it." I fought to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. She only smiled at the attempt. "Like I said, I get the impression a life debt's supposed to be a gift. But to Hanharr it's more like a curse. To both people involved."
Her gaze looked to the bulkhead that separated the cargo bay from the crew quarters where Kreia lurked and her face darkened. It was if a terrible thought passed through her mind, an idea she didn't want to even entertain. "What if someone else saved his life? Would he try to kill them?"
I didn't see where this was going so I only shrugged. "Probably. But if he had multiple life debts especially to humans, Hanharr would probably go mad, he was angry before for sure but he'd be ten times worse if that happened."
"Worse?" Her attention snapped back to me. Her voice for some reason became cooler and I didn't get why. Something was troubling her I know it but she wasn't about to say what it was.
"Hanharr's tough. Really tough. And when he loses it, it's like nothing can stop him. I've seen him shrug off blaster bots, Bothan stunners and even survive a freighter crash on Derssonn III. He keeps coming." I shuddered at the memories of his stalking and hunting me down.
"Any regrets he's gone?"
What and odd thing to say. "Oh I am glad he's gone. It's like a weight off my shoulders. I don't have to keep watching my back every minute wondering when he's going to show up. And he always did. It's like he knew where I was."
"Any chance he's still alive?" Again the same expression as before. It's like she knows something or rather suspects something and doesn't want the idea floating around in that scull of hers.
"Trust me if he was alive, he'd be chasing us even now. Waiting to ambush us when we least expect it. And he always shows up at the worst possible time. He was one of the best bounty hunters on Nar Shaddaa. Hanharr never gave up on his pray. Or his life debts. He's a hunter, he's a natural predator."
"So how did you save his life?"
"Well as it happens on Nar Shaddaa I made someone mad." I gave her a knowing smirk and she flashed it back to me. "Mad enough for them to send Hanharr after me. Turns out they were even able to get him cheap. He'd heard about me and wanted to hunt me down. For sport. He didn't think I'd be much of a challenge."
To this she snorted. "Then he is a fool. You proved him wrong of course." She smiled at me, her eyes twinkling she wasn't patronizing me or even asking a true question it was observation.
I think I actually blushed at her praise. I know I did for the flirting she was doing. "Well he tried to box me down in vents beneath the Nar Shaddaa docks, and he set one too many proximity mines to cover the escape routs."
"So he was trying to hem you in with a mine field." She observed the tactic from a military point of view.
"I think he hoped to drive me into the mines and let them do the work or that I'd be too scared to try and walk through them. Thing is I knew Hanharr's supplier and the trigger signatures for the mines. It was easy to broadcast a signal to blind their sensor receptors for a minute or two. I figured that would buy me enough time to move through them and get away."
My girl's bright I give her that. "Sending out a jamming signal for proximity mines isn't a simple trick." I hear approval and respect in her tone.
"No. It isn't." I move to one of the three treadmills in the 'gym' and she takes the one right along side mine. I noticed she set hers for a forty-five degree pitch so she was running 'uphill', "I spent most of my childhood hauling mines and munitions. I got to know my way around them; if I hadn't I wouldn't be here right now." My voice became a whisper of regret and loss.
There was an expression that flitted across her face I couldn't describe. I've seen it before and would in the future and I don't know what it meant. It was as if she absorbed the facts just as they were. As if it was normal for a kid to play in minefields and become munitions experts before they were nine. "What happened to Hanharr and the mines?" She picked up on my depression and bade me continue the story.
"Like I said I disarmed the trigger fuses for enough of the mines to get by temporarily. Hanharr was pretty fast on my trail. I'd just made it to safety when he hit the first one. The blast leveled the entire ventilation section… and Hanharr was caught right in the middle. And he survived. Barely."
"Barely?" she looked at me from underneath unruly fringes of her soft brown forelock
"He was crawling around, blinded from the flash and the plasma burns. It happened so fast! All the blood had been scabbed and crusted from the flash. I had the drop on him and even he knew it. He could still hear me. My ears were ringing from the blast but I could hear him. I think he was begging to let him live. His voice… it -it wasn't a roar. More like an echo of it.
"I suppose I should have killed him but I couldn't do it. He was in pain and he was helpless. So I dragged him out of there… enough for him to get to safety. And he kept hunting me ever since. He said he'd pursue me to the edge of the galaxy no matter where I ran, he would find me and break me. I would always be his prey." I felt so lost and desperate then.
She looked at me with those huge blue doe eyes. "Sometimes it is stronger to spare life than take it." She sounded like she knew exactly why I had done what I did. I followed her gaze to land on Visas who had just entered the gym. And I knew what connected them. Meetra bested Visas who had been sent to kill her. Meetra spared the assassin's life and now Visas pledged her life to my Exile.
"Maybe… I've thought about that moment. And wondered if I would do things different if had another chance."
"Given the chance there are a few things we would all more than likely do differently. Hind-sight is a powerful thing however only if you can use it 'before' a set of events occur." Meetra said.
This of course brought her to another subject.
"You don't kill your targets."
Her comment was so mater-of-fact it took me by surprise. I hate being outmaneuvered. "I've killed people before." I was almost defensive. "I… I haven't killed anyone in a long time. But when I am around you it's like I've always been doing it, its like reflex. And I don't like it and I don't know how or when it became so easy!"
She winced and sighed. "It's called 'Battle Meditation'. It is a very rare power of a Jedi. Some of us can immerse ourselves into a deep meditation before battle and during to lift up the allies let them feel reflexes of the Jedi even if they are not. If they are, it heightens their martial skills. Allies gain the knowledge of how to strike down an enemy and at the same time lower not only moral but our enemies' defenses making them vulnerable to attack. It also makes the enemy feebler than they are. They freeze in battle. It's something I did on the battlefield during the war when I served Revan. It turned the tide. A dropped blaster here, a miss swing of a vibroblade there, misfire of turrets and so on. It's like giving the odds in favor of allies while handicapping the enemy. To me it's reflex. I do it now without thinking about it. What you feel is through me. And I am sorry it has this effect on you."
It was a long moment before I spoke. So long in fact she started to rise and head for the showers as if her company was no longer something I wanted. "I heard a Jedi named Bastila Shan who had this power. It was why the Sith hunted her down and tried to turn her."
Meetra nodded. "It was the reason I kept my talent quiet for the most part. Bastila didn't follow us to war. Back then she was still a Padawan Learner, she hadn't been fully trained to use it and the other Masters knew I had something more but I kept the fact to myself. It's why Vrook kept insisting I was nothing but a mediocre Jedi. It never bothered me to have him always underestimating me. I didn't want the Council to be aware of what I could do. I didn't like what I saw them doing to Bastila for her power and I sure as hell wouldn't let them do that to me. But one other knew I had it. And she said it was a good thing I kept my 'gift' quiet.
"Revan knew about it, she used me for that deliberately. I was always on the front lines because of it. Inspire the troops; lower the moral of the enemy with just thinking about the battle before it happened," she swallowed hard and shuddered. "I was a weapon for the Revanchist and her goals to purge the Mandalorians. I got used to it being a weapon. But I believed in Revan, in the cause of what we were doing. I was more than just a weapon for the Revan though…" her voice grew soft in memory "...much more.'
"Now you make your allies a weapon." I couldn't keep the sharp edge out of my voice or the bluntness in which it was delivered.
She didn't react as I thought she might. She didn't get dismissive, or defensive. She once more adopted the mater-of-fact tone. "It's reflex. I protect my allies and bolster their own talents and give them an added bonus the field of battle. Perhaps in light of this when we are planet side you should remain on the Hawk…"
"Oh no," I shook my head, "you are still my Bounty, you won't get away from me that easily."
She smirked and looked up at me once more through unruly locks of fawn brown. "I hope not."
I followed her out of the cargo bay to the Hawk's tiny refresher. It had a pressure toilet that sunk into the floor once the controls for the sonic shower were activated. The stall, if it could be called that, and that was being generous, was large enough to admit two, though it would be a bit on the cozy side. I didn't mind and my Exile didn't seem to mind either.
Neither of us said anything.
She stripped her 'casual' robes and placed her lightsaber on the sink back—within easy reach. I was surprised to see how thin she was. There was muscle definition to be sure, like gymnast's or a dancer's body… or a Jedi's I guess. And she had a fair share of scars. A couple of them looked like lightsaber wounds and I recognized Mandalorian blaster wounds easy enough and there were couple of vibroblade cuts as well. The scars were faint though, old—a decade maybe more.
She caught me looking at her and only smiled. Yeah I liked what I saw. And I can tell you this… she's a natural blond. Goddess of the Hunt she's beautiful. A little on the skinny side, but understandable due to all the running we've been doing.
Her breasts are a nice size, not too big, not too small; they'd fill the palms nicely. I'd say we're about the same size really. Not that I want to exchange braziers anytime soon.
I feel her eyes on me and feel a bit of pride as I noticed a coy look that she liked what she saw. And yeah, I'm a natural red head too. And I have a lot more scars than she does. A lot more. But when I feel her eyes on me, I feel no shame for them as I used to. There are whip marks, blaster burns, claw marks from Hanharr's fracking paws and a lot of other things I'm not getting into. In her eyes… I feel… beautiful.
Wanted.
Desired.
And all in a good way.
I want her to look. I want her to see me. So I use a ploy I never thought to use. Feminine wiles. I stretch a little, letting her take in my own muscle definition, breasts and other attributes. When I hear a soft sign of enjoyment I know it worked.
What can I say? We both liked what we saw. The rest of the shower was swift. Hell, it was a sonic cleansing, of course it was swift. When we finished, she tossed her robes into the stall and waited for me to do the same with my own garb. Hell, why not? Easy way to clean them too and they won't smell of sweat, and I loathed the idea of dressing in dirty clothes after a shower and there was no way in hell I was going to strut naked from the refresher to the ladies quarters.
"You never did tell me if you grew up on Nar Shaddaa," she asked me as we went to the mess once we got out of the showers.
A work out makes a person ravenous. I am so hungry I could eat a kath hound, and from the body I've seen in the showers... my girl could do with some fattening up as well. Jedi metabolism or not, she needs to put on weight. That scrawny isn't healthy. I guess that is what ten years of exile can do to a person.
"Yeah, more or less. I wasn't born there, just ended up there. A lot of lost people end up there." I guess my voice carried a trace amount of regret because my Exile was sure as hell fast to pick up on it.
"What happened to your family?" she was very mindful to keep her voice as neutral as possible and yet at the same time it was warm and held the sound of comfort.
"Well, the war happened, the first one, against the Mandalorians." I almost snapped but kept the tone in check. I don't want a repeat of out first 'chat' on Goto's ship.
"They died in the final battle?" She came around from a different point of attack. Well not so much of an attack as an approach.
.
"I think so." Her ploy worked because I'm not as defensive as before. "After Revan crushed the Mandalorians, planets fell from their hold and Malachor V was obliterated."
"How could you have lost family at Malachor V? There were no colonies there. There were no colonies - it was a taboo world to the Mandalorians."
"Take a guess, Jedi. Only two groups of people would have lost family and the Jedi don't have family." This time I did snap. Once more those eyes were so full of compassion, of emotion I didn't want to look into them. I didn't want to see…
"You're a Mandalorian?" She was completely taken by surprise. I suppose she figured all Mandalorians are in full battle armor, hate anything that doesn't fight and those that do are targets to be conquered over to test Mandalorian battle-spirit.
"As much as any slave becomes a Mandalorian. They took prisoners and forced us to work for them."
"You were a slave?" This time her voice isn't filled with surprise but knowing familiarity. I wonder… was she a slave before Jedi. Or perhaps her parents were?
.
"When I was young, yeah." I nodded; it wasn't secret and not one of shame either. Big-bad comes in takes over takes prisoners makes' em slaves. It's a story well known throughout the galaxy. Hell a guy could sell his girlfriend as a slave because of a pazzak debt. It is as easy as that. "They mostly used me to carry ammo packs… munitions. I got to know the mechanics of them very well. If I didn't I'd be hound-chow. They turned me into a demolitions expert by the time I was ten. Because I was expendable and small they used me a lot. Then Malachor V happened and I've been on my own. Came to Nar Shaddaa when I was eleven and became a bounty hunter."
"I regret the loss of life at Malachor V. But there was no choice. The Mandalorians had to be stopped. They were crushing thousands of worlds in a bloodlust that wouldn't be quenched. Innocents cried out for help. The Mandalorians weren't even attacking military targets they were attacking anyone weaker than they were, or tried to challenge those stronger and massacred entire worlds. I have never stopped trying to protect the innocents. That is what a Jedi is supposed to do!"
"I know." I took her hand and squeezed it. "And the Mandalorians got their comeuppances. But a lot of people got caught up in that tide. A lot of people became lost. That's why I'm a bounty Hunter. I'm good at finding people. A lot of what I do isn't for criminals or those on the run. It's for lost families trying to find one of their own. I want to see them back together again. Like that couple you helped reunite back on Nar Shaddaa. That's what I do best. But the pay is the worst so I have to do the other sort to make ends meet."
"Finding people on Nar Shaddaa seems difficult."
"Not if you know your target. Usually you get a holocron or rough sketch. Then you start walking."
"Walking?"
"This is a little hard to explain, but Nar Shaddaa's got a flow to it. You have to follow that flow 'cus your target will be predictable and follow it as well. I guess I'm not making sense."
"No, I understand. This is what you did with me." She said observantly. "Guess I didn't do a good job of hiding."
"You said you were acting deliberately to flush out the hunters and the Exchange." I winked at her. "But yeah you became predictable. If an innocent suffered it wasn't long before you showed up to try and assist them. You told that woman she was weak for admitting her fear, her pain about missing her child and then instead of giving her the credits to buy back her kid and get out of debt you freed her daughter and told the mother never allow others to use her weakness or her child. Never allow harm to come to that kid. That was a gutsy move. Some might say cold but I think it was the best thing. Now that woman will be more vigilant and guarded over her child and not be so frivolous with her relative freedom."
"And the trap at the Jekk'Jekk Tarr?"
"That was easy but yeah I knew you'd be there before you even got the call from that squid head. But that was nothing, everyone knew it. But I knew you'd be going to the docks for other reasons in your quests to help people off the smuggler's moon. So I knew I'd tag you where and when I did."
She gave me that flirty smile, rose from the table and dumped the remains of her meal into the recycler and headed for the door. "So what are you going to do with your Bounty now that you have her?"
She didn't give me a chance to respond because she left the galley even before I could come up with something witty to retort with.
I watched as my bounty cloistered herself away in the work bay busily constricting five rudimentary lightsabers. Student-sabers the Younglings used to train with. We were no Younglings but we weren't trained either.
Meetra, I think knew something about each of us in turn that we didn't know ourselves. And so it began our training with lightsabers. And me… not even a recognized force user and here I was with the others: Bao-Dur, Visas, Atton and our Master, Meetra- all of us training-dueling with low-powered safety blade generators. No serious injury could be done if we missed or we hit ourselves. A slight burn, but nothing more serious then a first degree. It stung enough to be aware and not be clumsy with what we were doing.
Once more I found myself watching her as she trained, meditated and found I couldn't be content to copy her like Visas or bloody Mical. I like to stay busy.
Her eyes were closed but she knew I was there. A small smile spread on her delicate and yet kissable lips.
"Your mind is a hive of noise, and your body wishes it could follow. You seem restless."
"I seem to be because I am, Jedi." I huffed and plopped my ass down next to hers. I let out a heavy sigh and fell the rest of the way on my back with my arms folded behind my head to pillow it.
"This is no smuggler's moon. I'd enjoy the quiet as long as it lasts." I looked at her and rolled my eyes. Hers were still closed and she was still floating in the air despite my interrupting her. Damn the woman has control. Gotta admire that.
"I'd rather be doing something. Somewhere with people, activity. This quiet makes me twitchy."
"Like Nar Shaddaa?" she flirted with a teasing yet knowing smile.
"Yeah," I answered off-handedly in sigh of homesickness. Imagine that, homesick for Nar Shaddaa! "It's been a while since I've been off-planet; I guess I got used to it."
"Used to Nar Shaddaa? Is that possible?" Guess she couldn't believe it either.
How to explain it? How can you miss the back end of a hairy bantha? "Well... Nar Shaddaa may be one of the biggest cesspits in the galaxy but it's got a life to it. Activity. Aliens, people, refugees… it's like noise but relaxing like the hum of a hyperdrive."
"More like a screaming, broken hyperdrive that carries a vibroblade in its shafts." She chuckled.
I laughed along with her. "No arguments here. Still, as long as you accept it, the place... it's not that bad."
"I suppose one could become accustomed to the white noise of life of Nar Shaddaa. Life has a certain energy about it. Especially on Nar Shaddaa."
"Yeah?" now she had me intrigued. "Hmm. Didn't think I'd hear a Jedi ever refer to Nar Shaddaa like that."
"It echoes on Nar Shaddaa. The fact you sense it so deeply and long for it just as deeply." She had a very queer look on her face. It was if she was trying to remember a line of a song but it was just out of reach. "Mira… had Zez-Kai Ell ever told you anything about Force sensitivity?"
"Only that some bad ass Jedi… sorry, I mean Sith, are hunting them all down."
"Fool. He's put you in greater danger for keeping you in the dark."
I don't think I liked the sound of this at all. Or where it was heading. I forced myself to remain calm. No use going off like Hanharr.
"Kreia showed me how to "listen" to Nar Shaddaa once... how all life on Nar Shaddaa is interwoven together. The 'hum' you heard… I have heard it. I hear its echoes from a center pulsing. You can hear the life. All life on Nar Shaddaa is connected bound together. And there is one place you can 'Hear' its echoes."
"Pfft." I shook my head. "Prove it."
"I will take you to that place." Her eyes glint with life. Once more she has that strange glow about her. And I found myself a bit amazed by it awed by it because I know 'I' put it there.
"Okay. Maybe one day I will let you. "
She smiled that glorious full hyper-drive smile of hers. I felt my knees go all to jelly. "Only don't go pointing things out like a tourists." I smirked a snarky grin. "It brings out the predators."
"Right. No tourist guide thing. Gottcha."
I love it when she plays back. It always takes me by surprise she isn't more mystic or mysterious like the other females on board or even like old Zez-Kai Ell. Oh, you can tell she's all Jedi a mile off but she has a way about her… I don't know how to describe it. She pulls you in. It's like she echoes a person's traits or their demeanor.
She can get all bookish and Jedi with that Disciple character, and plays the apprentice for Kreia and the mentor for Visas. She can get gearhead-ish with Bao-dur, getting her hands into the grease and oils that come with repairing this flying hunk of junk they call the Ebon Hawk. She adopts the pirate-like role with Atton. I've seen her quaff several pints of ale (never getting drunk due to her Jedi metabolism) with him as they play pazzak. She's like everyone's best bud and just like you. Only she isn't. She's herself. And she isn't insincere or false when it comes to the others; their interests or her connection to them. She makes you feel as if you are the only one she gives attention to. I can see why others bond with her. I have.
Oh don't even think it. Not girly-bound or such, but like she knows things I know. How it is to be me. How it is to be both hunter and the hunted. How she wants to heal the galaxy and the refugees of the wars.
Atton actually landed the Hawk without crashing into anything this time. Kreia was bothered as why we returned here rather than going on with the mission. Again Meetra confronted the questions with a vague answer. "It needs to be done." And that was that. No one else said a word of contention of the seemingly needless backtracking.
She turned me to me and smirked. "Ready for that 'tour guide' yet."
I couldn't help it. I let out a belly shaking laugh. She did a double back just for me. Just to show me what it was she was talking about with her telling me she could hear the planet's Force.
She took me to a place near the cantina here you could look down for kilometers into the lower sections of the base. Here you could feel the vibrations of the station; the hum of the people. Or at least I could- it was always a white noise, a bit loud yeah, but something I was used to. Always coming and going, that's what it felt like. People always moving like a hive of ants or swarm of mynocks.
She must have felt it too 'cuz all of a sudden she stopped jogging and stood still. She reminded me once more of the sleek forest cats; her head titled, listening like one of the great felines.
"What is it? Why are you stopping?"
"This is the place that Kreia showed me, where you can feel Nar Shaddaa around you where you can feel the Force." Her voice became a velvet caress, just above a whisper- an echo of a whisper to be exact.
I scoffed, "I don't believe in the Force. It's Jedi tricks, sight of hand."
She smiled, she didn't get mad or defensive but just smiled this ten giga-watt smile like she was plugged into power couplings. A warm smile of gentle understating. Her voice was soft, smooth, like the touch of a phoenix feather or the caress of silk on satin. There were no mind tricks, just the soft tender voice of a lover. "The Force is who you are. It's everything around us."
I hesitated… I thought about what it was she was telling me. "Alright…" Fear creaked into my voice- I know it. Fear of what she would do. But her hand was so soft on mine. I could feel the callouses and scars but also the softness under it all. "Its not going to hurt is it?"
Her blue eyes sparked and her smile was of tender reassurance. Goddess of the Hunt I wanted to warm myself in her arms. Her voice again was silken, "No. But it may help you put life and all its hopes into prospective," her hand comes to my face and for the first time in I don't know how long, I didn't flinch at such closeness. "Close your eyes." Her mouth was next to my ear now. And I shivered at it. "Feel the currents here on Nar Shaddaa, the ebb of life; a simple kindness can be given to another."
For a moment I thought I heard that old Witch speak but it was an echo. An echo coming from my beloved Exile, my… my lady… the Witch was echoing exactly what my lady was saying.
Then my Master… Mistress… my Lady spoke again. "This is the Force and all of our lives from the greatest to the smallest affect the echo here and the echoes travel," she stepped back for I felt her presence. There was lack of warmth behind me and I longed for it back. Her voice caressed me like no lover ever had. "Feel these people, this planet all around you."
I faulted, fell back. I know I fell to my knees for I felt the preferable sting of my knees banking into the pavement. "I can feel this… planet… I can't shut it out! It's louder now!" the pain seared into my head as too many voices, too may thoughts, too much noise all at once, were all echoing all shouting to be heard! "It hurts! All these people!"
All at once she was there, holding me. Lifting me to my feet as I feel her arms around me holding me so tightly-lovingly. "I can train you Mira. To become something greater… to protect others."
YES
Goddess it was like an orgasm of the stars. YES- that is what I wanted! "That is what I want. I'm sure of it," she smiled at me. "More than anything." To protect yes. Not to kill or harm, or destroy but protect. I wanted to watch over those innocents… protect. My Lady, my Love, my Master she is so strong… "I want to become like you." My voice was shaking but I didn't care, I know my Master won't chide me. She held me. "I want to be strong! I don't want to be afraid or alone anymore."
I was trembling and she held me tightly and gave me courage. "I… I... I don't want to keep running, and looking and never feel like I'm finding what I'm looking for! I'm tired of being hunted!" There was wetness on my cheeks and I only then realized I was weeping. And my Master, my Exile, my beloved Meetra was holding me. But I was standing on my own. "When the galaxy takes something from me I want the power to let go… and I want the power to heal the echo when it's gone."
She let me go then and I didn't falter, but held strength I didn't know before. Could never feel before.
"One can live their whole life with such echoes, Mira. But I can teach you to accept them."
I knew she was speaking from experience not like Zez-Kai Ell. He never spoke like this and he was as gray as they came and not become a Sith. My Master, my Meetra wasn't either but she was stronger than him because she knew how to accept the echo, cling to it and make it hers.
I was still trembling when I spoke. "That sounds alright form where I am standing."
Meetra smiled encouragingly at me. "You have taken your first steps Mira to becoming a Jedi Sentinel, you will grow in your abilities as you travel and learn from me. And from your own experiences."
I wanted to lean into the touch of her hand on my back. "I wanted to say thanks." I murmured, hoping I didn't sound as pathetic and drooling as the 'Disciple', but at this point maybe I didn't care. I know what it was he felt for her- how pure it is to have such a love for her. Our master. "For what you shown me on Nar Shaddaa. It's going to take some time to let it sink in, but… I feel ALIVE."
She smiled that power-couplings smile of hers, the one that makes your knees turn to jelly. "It was not my doing Mira. I mealy showed you what you could do."
She….
"It's strange, but it feels right somehow, like a piece inside me just clicked into place."
"I suspect it did." She said with a voice filled with satin silk. "You said there was a life, and ebb that you can hear and feel; there was a Force sensitivity to you… as a child this must have always been so. Your reflexes faster, you're in tune with life around you…" she smiled, "I know, I know that mumbo jumbo is a dance best for the Disciple who eats the stuff up." She giggled- she actually giggled... and winked at me, actually winked at me. "But that makes it no less true Mira."
I smirked at that.
Her hand touched my back and I felt a jolt of energy fill me, not the Force- well maybe- but I think of it as pure Meetra, my Exile, my Master, my Love. Wherever she may go, I will follow. However she many need me, I will do as needed.
Our journey is far from over, a lot more 'walking' is in order, but hell I'm in it the whole way.
Everyone wanted her.
But it was me, Mira-slave come-bounty-hunter-come Jedi that got her.
And I was the only one that got to kiss her. I was the only one that made love to her.