Chapter 14

'Well, we have positive identification on the drug your partner ingested' said the doctor as he returned to the hospital cubicle which presently doubled as Neal's concert hall.

The doctor's words snapped Neal out of his aria and he looked from Peter to the man in the white lab coat as he struggled to understand what was being said.

'It's Rohypnol; it's a well known 'date rape' drug' the doctor continued, making his way to further examine Neal.

'Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait' said Neal, bringing his hands up to push the man away. 'Can a man be… raped by a woman?'

Seeing the look of distress in Neal's eyes, the doctor exchanged concerned looks with Peter. 'Yes, a man can be raped. Any sexual activity without consent is considered rape. In a drugged state, a man can be physically stimulated and forced to have intercourse without his consent or even without his knowledge.'

Neal stared at the doctor in horror. What if he'd unknowingly had sex with Michelle while he'd been in bed with her? Even though he hadn't been in control of his actions, the thought made his skin crawl and he realized he would never be able to forgive himself; worse yet, how could he ever face Sara?

'I can examine you, if you like, and see if you've ejaculated in the last few hours' the doctor said, hoping to reassure his patient.

'Please' said Neal, his words still slurred. 'I need to know.'

Suddenly, he felt his stomach lurch at the thought and he signalled Peter to hand him the basin that lay nearby. He threw up violently and Peter took a step back as Neal looked up at his friend, eyes pleading.

'Nausea is a common side effect of Rohypnol, as is confusion, problems speaking, dizziness, loss of muscle control and loss of consciousness. Mr. Caffrey, what do you remember about what happened?' the doctor asked.

His thoughts were still jumbled but Neal was beginning to get fleeting flashes of what had happened after he'd downed that last drink. 'I… was having a drink… and the next thing I remember, I was in bed… with Michelle.'

He looked over at Peter with a look of horror. 'And I think… Sara was there' he added, choking on his words.

He could recall drifting in and out of consciousness, Michelle talking to him, kissing him and laying on top of him in the bed and he had a vague recollection of seeing Sara in the room but he couldn't be sure about anything and he was feeling increasingly upset at the lack of details he was able to recover.

'In another couple of hours, the effects will totally dissipate' the doctor explained. 'Sometimes, people remember details when their mind is clearer. Would you like me to carry out that examination now?' the doctor asked.

'Yes, please' Neal answered, his voice quiet. He just couldn't live with himself not knowing and Peter gave him an encouraging pat on the back before retreating outside the room while the doctor carried out his examination.

Peter took advantage of the few minutes of respite to call Elizabeth who informed him that Sara was on her way to the hospital. Hopefully, Neal would be sufficiently coherent to have a lucid conversation with his wife when she arrived and they weren't making things worse by throwing the feuding couple together in the same room.

Upon examination, the news was reassuring and Neal let out a deep sigh of relief. As unacceptable as his behavior had been, he was relieved to know he hadn't crossed a line he would never be able to come back from. As his confusion dissipated, coherent thoughts began to return and his mind focussed once again on the urgency to see Sara so he could explain what had happened.

Unbeknownst to him, Sara was arriving at the hospital, still ambivalent, her emotions teetering between anger at Neal and concern for his wellbeing and she asked to be directed to his room.

'You mean Agent Caffrey?' asked the nurse as Sara frowned – Peter must have had to be creative to have Neal seen as soon as possible. She nodded.

'Go ahead, he's in cubicle 4A' she said, pointing down the hall.

Peter was pacing nearby as she made her way over, concern now overriding her fury by a margin of two to one.

'What happened?' she asked as she finally caught up with him.

'Neal was drugged' Peter said, simply.

'Drugged? Oh my God! Is he all right?' she asked, alarmed.

'He's with the doctor. He's starting to come out of it' Peter answered. 'But he's still pretty messed up.'

'I want to see him' she said, concern flooding her eyes.

Peter pointed to the room in question as Sara charged in, without knocking.

She could see the doctor hovering over Neal who was doing his best to sit up unassisted and she made her way to him as Neal took in the sight of his wife, his face visibly relieved.

'Neal!' she said as she threw her arms around him and hugged him.

'Oh, honey. I'm so glad you're here' he answered, trying to remain upright and hanging on to her for dear life so he wouldn't fall off the bed.

'Mrs. Caffrey?' the doctor presumed. 'Your husband was given a healthy dose of Rohypnol and he's just coming out of it. He's still confused and nauseous but from what I've seen, he'll be fine within a couple of hours.'

'Rohypnol?' Sara repeated. 'You mean the date drug?'

The doctor nodded and Sara's eyes settled on Neal who was still struggling to sit upright on the narrow bed.

'Sara... I'm soooo sorry' he said, trying to gauge her reaction and keeping his puppy dog eyes riveted on hers.

Sara sighed in relief, her annoyance slowly returning now that she could see he was going to be all right.

'Look, you have a lot explaining to do Caffrey but for now… well, I'm just glad you're okay' she said as she pulled him against her and held him there.

Neal, who had yet to regain total control of his muscles, let himself melt into her body. Somewhere deep in his confused mind, he still had a lot of unanswered questions but for the time being, he was just happy to have Sara by his side.

WCWCWC

It was early morning by the time Neal was finally released from the hospital and the threesome made their way back to White Plains to a relieved looking Elizabeth. She'd planned ahead and had gotten the kids packed up and ready for an impromptu visit to Brooklyn while their feuding parents tried to work things out.

Once alone, Neal and Sara sat, facing each other, on the family room couch, Neal's mind still somewhat foggy as they attempted to reconnect. The last time they'd been together, Sara had been fragile and vulnerable, reeling from the symptoms of depression and to Neal's relief, she was looking more like her old self, strong and self-possessed.

'How are you feeling?' he asked, taking Sara's hand.

She stared back at him, incredulous. 'How the hell do you think I'm feeling, Neal?' she responded. 'I'm furious with you, I'm hurt, I'm disappointed…' She took a deep breath before continuing '…but I'm relieved tthat you're safe. To be honest, I'm torn between wanting to hit you and kiss you.'

'So, it's business as usual then?' Neal asked, in a failed attempt at levity. 'I'll take the slap if there's a chance I can get the kiss later' he added, looking intently at his wife.

Sara stared back, unamused; it was just like Neal to try to deflect from the situation.

'I started on the medication' she informed him sheepishly.

'Oh, honey, that's great news, I'm so glad' Neal said, running his hand up and down her back.

She averted his eyes. 'Well, it'll take a while before it takes effect but… let's just say the events of the last twenty-four hours have taken my mind off how I've been feeling.'

'Sara, can we please try to work things out? Will you listen to what I have to say?' Neal begged. 'Please.'

She stared back at him, wanting so badly to believe this was all some huge misunderstanding and yet… her eyes had seen what her eyes had seen and she knew she would never be able to erase the disturbing image of Neal lying in bed with another woman.

Her face didn't give anything away. 'Start talking, Neal' she finally said. 'Start at the beginning and don't leave anything out.'

Neal took a deep breath. The time had come to admit to his wife how stupid and naive he'd been and how he'd let a stranger barge into their lives and try to ruin everything they had worked so hard for all these years. He took his time, revealing every detail and explaining what, exactly, had been happening in those damnable photographs she'd seen. When he got to the part where he'd acted so impulsively, over imbibing and ending up in Michelle Young's hotel room, his voice grew quiet as he wondered how he could have been so foolish.

'Neal, for a guy who spent a good part of his life conning other people, how can you be so naive when it comes to others playing you?' she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

Neal looked down in shame and shook his head; he couldn't explain it himself. He always believed the best of others and he took almost everything at face value – especially when a beautiful woman was involved.

Finally, he came to the part where he had to confess his temptation to stray. Although he'd managed to come to his senses before it was too late, he couldn't deny he'd been tempted, even if it had been for just a brief instant. If he didn't confess what he'd been feeling, he would be lying by omission - not only to Sara but to himself - and that would cast a shadow on their marriage which would never go away.

'I know this is no excuse' he began, biting his tongue to keep from using the word 'but' - after all, there was no justification for his foolish actions.

Instead, he decided he needed to take full responsibility for his behavior. 'The truth is I was feeling alone and upset since… since you started not feeling well. I missed you… I missed us…' he said, looking into her eyes. '…and I started to worry that you wouldn't get better and I didn't know how… or if we'd get through this.'

Sara stared back, eyes hardened.

'When Michelle showed up, out of the blue… I started to think back to how easy it had been back then, when we were young. And I forgot for a minute that no matter how hard it is sometimes, what you and I have… well, it's worth fighting for. I'm sorry…'

'What happened Neal? Did you… have sex with her?' Sara asked, staring into his eyes.

'No, no, I didn't' he said earnestly. 'I didn't… but I was tempted. Not at first, not when she was here the other night but in her hotel room… I'd been drinking and my defences were down and she reached out and… Sara, I let her kiss me and I... I kissed her back. I felt alone and it felt good to have someone touch me that way. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... I should have been stronger' Neal said, his voice full of regret.

Sara listened intently as he spoke. She could see the pain in Neal's eyes, those pools of aquamarine, becoming moist with tears.

'How did you end up in bed with her?' Sara asked, anger rising in her voice.

'After we kissed, I moved away from her and I told her I loved you and that you were all that mattered to me. But that's when she handed me that laced drink and I drank it - stupidly. It never occurred to me tha she would ever stoop to drugging me.'

Sara looked away, her mind whirling, unable to digest it all - the confession, Neal's avowed temptation to stray from their wedding vows.

'Neal, we made a commitment to each other…' Sara said, her voice shaking.

His eyes filled with tears as he realized the depth of his deception and the pain he was causing the woman he loved more than life itself. He forced himself to keep his eyes on her, the hurt in her eyes cutting through him like a knife.

'I know… I know I let you down... I let myself down. Sara, if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Sara… please' he pleaded, voice full of emotion.

They were interrupted by a knock at the front door, a respite from the intensity of the emotions they were both feeling. Sara was first on her feet. She was stunned to find Michelle Young standing on her doorstep, looking dejected, nothing like the look she had given her as she'd loomed seductively over Neal in her hotel room the night before.

'Sara, I'm Michelle' she said, her eyes downcast and embarrassed. 'Can I please come in? There's something I need to talk to you about.'

Sara stared back in shock at the woman and despite her anger and bewilderment, she stepped aside, allowing her to come in. Michelle spotted Neal standing behind his wife, a look of hurt and anger in his eyes.

'Neal! Are you all right?' she asked.

He stared back, his eyes cold. 'No thanks to you' he responded.

'Neal, I'm so sorry for what happened. You didn't deserve what I did to you' she admitted, mortified.

Neal just looked back impassively, waiting for some sort of explanation.

'Sara, I really came to see you. I owe you both an explanation... and an apology for what I did. First of all, you need to know that, although I tried my best to seduce him, Neal pushed me away. He loves you very much and he told me, in no uncertain terms, that he was devoted to you and to your children and that he wasn't interested in me.'

Sara scoffed; this woman knew nothing about their lives, their struggles.

Despite the uneasy silence, Michelle continued. 'You're a very lucky woman to have a husband like Neal. He's been worried about your well-being and although he was discreet, it was my job to dig and I know you've been going through a rough time.'

Sara glared at Neal, disappointed that he would share such an intimate part of their life with a perfect stranger.

Michelle continued, determined to speak her mind. 'I was hired to break you two up' she finally admitted.

Neal stared back, mouth agape. 'Hired? By who?'

'Matthew Keller. He came looking for me and he offered me money to come to New York and interfere in your marriage' Michelle admitted, relieved that the truth was finally out in the open.

Neal and Sara exchanged shocked looks. Keller had been a continuous thorn in Neal's side ever since they'd parted ways years before and the man's unhealthy obsession with Neal and his life was beyond belief.

'Keller?' Neal repeated, disbelieving. 'He actually paid you to come and toy with me like that?'

'Look, I'm not proud of what I did Neal, but I was telling you the truth when I said I'd had a hard life. When Keller found me and offered me cash to do this, it seemed like a lark. That is, until I saw that look of horror on your face, Sara, when you found me in bed with Neal. All of a sudden, I realized what you two have is real and I couldn't just leave and let you think that Neal had been unfaithful to you. He wasn't' she said, stopping to take a breath.

'When I got to the train station, I couldn't stop thinking about what this would do to your daughter and to your little baby' she said, looking at Sara. 'You have beautiful children and they don't deserve to have their family torn apart over a lie.'

She stopped, looking from Neal to Sara as what she was confessing began to sink in for the two of them.

Neal finally spoke, taking a step forward to hold the door open. 'I'd like to say it was nice to see you again, Michelle but... I think you've done enough damage. Please leave.'

She nodded, smiled a small embarrassed smile at Sara and turned to leave.

'Thank you…' she said. '…for giving me the chance to explain.'

And then she was gone from their lives as quickly as she'd come.

WCWCWC

The following weeks were tense as Neal and Sara worked through the aftermath of what had occurred. Sara stuck with the medication Dr. Cooper had prescribed and she slowly began to feel better. The first time Neal saw her nursing Liam with a look of gentle contentment on her face, he somehow knew she was over the hump and on her way to getting better.

Their marriage, however, had suffered serious damage and they both needed time to work through what had happened and try to find a way back to each other. Neal begged for another chance and Sara reluctantly agreed to go to couples counselling where they talked things through and were given advice on how to rebuild the trust that had been so badly damaged.

The physical intimacy between them, which had been nonexistent for weeks, began to return gradually as the trust factor between them steadily increased. They spoke candidly and openly and as she started to get stronger, Sara began to open up to Neal, allowing for physical closeness to return, bit by bit. Now that Sara had recovered from the horrible symptoms of post-partum depression, they continued to grow closer, slowly inching their way towards a full reconciliation.

One night in early fall, Sara announced she was ready to resume marital relations - something Neal was more than ready for, yet strangely reluctant to act upon, considering the lingering guilt he was still feeling. To his credit, he had been patient and loving as he waited for his wife to be truly willing and able to enjoy intimacy again.

'Are you sure you're up for this?' Neal asked, his voice quiet, as they lay in bed one night.

'I'm sure, Neal' Sara whispered into his ear. She leaned in over him, kissing him languidly as she ran her hands through his hair.

Neal felt the tightness rising in his chest; still unsure whether or not he deserved to be with this amazing woman who had seen fit to forgive - if not forget.

'I love you so much' he murmured, responding to her lingering kiss. 'And I want you so badly.'

'I'm yours, Neal. I always have been' she responded, kissing him more intensely this time.

'Thank God for that' he said, breathlessly. 'I'm so sorry...' he began, his voice full of emotion.

'Shhh' she responded, whispering in his ear. 'It's over, honey, it's all over. I want to be with you.'

Neal turned towards his wife, overcome with emotion for this incredible woman who had somehow found a way to forgive him his poor judgement and his indiscretion. Her whispered words of encouragement urged him on and Neal began to move his hands urgently over her body, an act of contrition and desperation, his heart bursting at the seams with love for her.

He kissed her neck, letting his lips wander down to gently caress her breasts and letting his hands roam down to encircle her hips. She welcomed him, a soft smile appearing on her lips and a look of pure lust in her eyes as their bodies found each other. He began to slowly move against her as Sara responded, pulling him tighter against her soft, willing body. They found their rhythm, so familiar despite their long estrangement and Sara moaned with pleasure as she felt him against her, finally giving in to the intimacy she had been avoiding for so long.

'I love you Caffrey' she murmured as his mouth sought hers, interrupting her.

He pulled back to look into her eyes, his face full of emotion. 'I think that's enough talking, don't you?'

Sara smiled in agreement and returned to his lips, letting herself melt in his loving touch.

La fin