Disclaimer: I own nothing, Jon Snow…

A/N: Oh hey guys, it's been a bloody while and I feel very guilty that I left you hanging, promised a lot and delivered nothing. Sorry but my bipolar disorder got worse and I felt awful and dead on my feet for a long time.

This story sat on my laptop for the gods know how long but I finally willed myself to finish it.

I'm not gonna say that this is goodbye but if it is, I just want to tell that you are all amazing and I'm humbled and grateful for all the encouragement and love I've got from you since I joined this fandom. Never gonna forget that. Thank you!

Okay, now on with the story. Just some cracky AU with the usual smart mouthed Danny, sassy Kono and stupidly in love Steve. Also excuse my Fatal Attraction reference.

desiderata – desired things

…

Steve McGarrett had a slight problem.

A small issue, really.

No great concern.

It was just, the mark they had him following, he was concerned for the woman's safety.

"I really do think she's being stalked," he told Danny, his work-partner/best friend.

"Steve, the only stalker in that hacker's life, is you. And me. And the federal government," Danny said while he opened the file containing Steve's photos. "Seriously, you're like, five seconds away from boiling a bunny. We need evidence of her meeting with possible marks, not a photo essay on the wind blowing through her hair."

"It's pretty hair," Steve shrugged.

He stared at the picture of Kono Kalakaua on the monitor and tried not to grin. She really was a gorgeous woman. Extremely intelligent too. She already had two degrees from MIT and she was only twenty-five. Joe wanted her desperately for their logistics team. He was resorting to blackmail to get Kono onboard.

Steve just wanted her badly for his own life.

Danny dropped his head into his hands, letting out a frustrated groan.

"I can see the meeting with Joe now. Sorry we didn't find proof to blackmail her into a job but at least we know she has a future as a L'oreal spokesperson or a Victoria's Secret model."

"She's a good person, Danny," he argued.

"Steve, you've never even spoken to her." Danny's hand flew out nearly punching Steve in the eye.

Steve kept his mouth shut. Technically speaking there was no rule against engaging the mark if it furthered the mission's success.

"Tell me you didn't," Danny said, the colour draining from his face at first then instantly coming back full force until he looked like a furious tomato.

Steve shrugged, looking at least a little sheepish.

"Look, she recognized me as one of the guys who fucked up the computer lab last week. What was I supposed to do? Dive under a bench?"

"Or just be all, Sorry, sistah, howzit, shoot or whatever language you aliens speak in this place and walk the fuck off," Danny's voice became louder and louder with every passing syllable.

"Worst covert agents ever," Lori agreed, pointing to the screen. "Miss Kalakaua has already contacted us and requested a meeting at a place of her choosing. She's tired of being followed around. She told us it was amusing at first but now it's impeding her work on her dissertation."

"It's quite a challenging one according to her advisor," Steve said.

Lori shook her head. "And that right there is why Danny is going to the meeting. You're too close to this one, Steve."

Steve shook his head in disbelief. "Danny doesn't even know her."

"Technically speaking, you don't know her." Lori pointed out.

Steve did not pout.

"Whatever," he grumbled. "Are we done here?"

"You are. Go get some rest. I still have some goals for the mission I need to review with Danny," Lori said.

Danny winked at his friend. Lori had to know he would pass the intel on. At least this way she could assure Joe she didn't directly tell Steve.

As he ducked out onto the bright Hawaiian sunlight, Steve almost missed the complicated simplicity that was his old life. You had rules when running in a thieves' guild but it wasn't all this government protocol bullshit. He was tired of being around bureaucrats more concerned with saving their paychecks than saving their assets. Joe and Pat Jameson were trying to change things but they were two people against the whole upper-echelons of shit in the Five-0 building.

He was just about to duck into the nearest place for a coffee when he spotted Kono and the scary strict looking guy that so-totally-was-a-stalker behind her. The guy was two or three people behind Kono, never taking his eyes off her bag. Steve reacted by pure instinct. He was across the street and trailing them both before he realized it. When the man went to reach for the strap of Kono's bag, Steve grabbed him by the back of the neck and slammed him into the nearest wall.

"Ho brah," the guy yelled as he tried to fight Steve's hold.

Kono whirled around.

"Chin?" Her eyes shifted to Steve and narrowed. "What the fuck are you doing to my cousin?"

Fucking Fuckity Fuck.

Chin Ho Kelly. Kono's cousin. Steve expected someone less ninja assassin looking.

Steve backed off of Chin. "Sorry, brah, mistaken identity."

"If that's what you do to strangers, I can't imagine what you do to friends." Chin lifted an amused brow. "Get the hell away before I violate my probation by getting my shotgun."

Steve didn't need to be told twice. He did, however, need brownie points for calling in his fuck-up.

"Jenna," he said into his phone, "I owe you $50. I fucked up again. Better tell Joe."

.

.

Steve had better weeks on record. Some much worse, but getting reamed out by three levels of bosses for assaulting a civilian and almost blowing his cover, finding out his mark had him pegged all along as an asset, and then finding out said mark thought he was a jackass, which just not the best week ever.

So Steve was here, on a bench, watching the surfers and thinking of simpler times. When he first started this job Lori had brought him here and pointed Kono out. Her hair was down that day, loose and carried by the strong breeze coming over the ocean. She was busy laughing with friends, acting like a normal girl her age rather than the tech genius courted by all branches and agencies of the government.

Steve found her attractive from the start. It was an uncommon thing. He did normally try to respect professional boundaries. The falling in love with his mark though, that was so Hollywood cliché that he could punch himself. Or ask Danny to do it.

Kono just reminded him of a life before, before the death of his parents and losing Mary Ann; the possible future wife of a different Steve. The Steve he was supposed to be from birth before life fucked him over.

His phone buzzed with yet another message form Danny. They were due to leave that night. Steve knew he had to get back to the safe-house. He just needed one more second of the stupid dream life.

He jumped when someone plopped a chai tea down next to him. He looked up to find an annoyed Kono.

"At least I can hope you're good enough at your job not to slam me into a brick building."

"Not without your permission," Steve grinned but it was half-hearted at best.

"Chin, my cousin, the one you slammed into the brick wall. Why did you do that?"

"I thought he was about to steal your bag. Dude's kinda mean looking."

"He's an ex-detective. Now working undercover as a Yakuza henchman. Of course he's mean looking."

"You can understand why I viewed him as a threat, then."

Kono didn't look amused. She sat down beside Steve and stared.

"What?" Steve asked.

"How are you still employed?"

"It's not the first time I've slammed someone into a wall for no good reason. I usually do much worse." Steve wasn't proud of it but he wasn't going to lie to Kono.

"Well, since you seem to know all about me except for what my cousin looks like, let me try the same for you. We can see how it feels." Kono pulled out her phone with a wicked smirk and tapped open a file. "Steve McGarrett, born Steven J. McGarrett, named after your grandfather on Honolulu, Hawaii on March 10th, 1977. Son of John and Doris McGarrett. Your mother died in a car accident, your father was killed. You have a sister Mary Ann who lives with your aunt on the mainland. Do you really speak it?"

"What?" Steve asked, looking up dazed.

"Mandarin Chinese?"

"Sure." He nods. "Want a lesson?"

Kono rolled her eyes. "I'll pass. Anyway, what else? Ah, yes…"

"You've made your point," Steve cut her off. He didn't realize how tight his jaw was clenched until he spoke.

"I'm not finished," Kono said. "Your mother was a teacher. That explains why you're so disciplined despite your appearance. Your father was the one who taught you about ancient history. Is that why you spend so much time at the Art Gallery?"

"It's the best I can do here without trespassing onto the university grounds."

"Ah, yes," Kono smiled, it was a kinder one, more amused. "The anger management issues which have led you to being banned from more than a few worldwide institutions. Tell me, did you get that scar above your navel from a bar fight? You seem the type."

"I got it saving my best friend's life," Steve said. He forced his hands to unclench. He knew Kono was purposefully baiting him and he would not give her the satisfaction of winning. This shit was personal in a way it wasn't before.

"Why me?" Kono asked suddenly.

"What?"

Kono tilted her head and Steve got distracted by the sunlight glinting through her hair.

"You've been pretty professional about not crossing personal lines when it comes to your marks. At least that's what your work file claims. So, why me? Why do I get to be the special one you decide to stalk above and beyond reason? What, do I seem easy to you? Is it because I've made the mistake of falling for one too many assholes who think they can control me? Is that what you want, Steve? A person you can fix-up and mold?"

"No," Steve shook his head. "I've seen you at your martial art classes and at your job. You're not a person I'd strive to piss off."

"Then answer the question."

Steve felt stupid even thinking the answer. It didn't matter anyway at this point. Kono, even if she did take the job offer, clearly wasn't interested in Steve. No one just casually brought up your dead parents and lost sibling to prove a point. He took a sip of his tea and just went with it.

"Because you still care."

"What?" Kono asked.

"You still care. You spend most of your free time teaching kids with rough background or serious illness to surf. You know you were damn lucky in life and you like to help others." He pointed to Kono's jacket. "You keep your front pocket full of loose change. Every street performer you pass, no matter how shitty, you always drop a tip. You appreciate their bravery for doing that in a crowd. You always stop to listen to the violinists though. You linger and watch them even if it means missing your bus. You know you get paid too much money for your semi-illegal side jobs so you created an anonymous scholarship foundation with the university to assuage the guilt.

It's you because you blare the best of 90s Top 40 through your apartment when it's time to clean. Because you dance around in your underwear and sing into your hairbrush and don't care if the neighbors can see you through the blinds. Because you still wake-up early enough to watch Saturday morning cartoons. Because you think cereal is its own legitimate food group.

You're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in. You're smart enough to know that messing with me, Danny, or our boss could get you killed and yet you refuse to back down. And yeah, you're gorgeous. You know you're attractive but you like people to prove themselves to you before you take the next step. I don't know what to tell you; I just admire that. You don't have to worry though. Come tomorrow, I'll be out of your hair."

"What do you mean?" Kono asked. She almost sounded surprised.

Steve shrugged. "The offer was extended. We saw it done. It's time for me and Danny to go for our next job."

"Then why are you here now?"

Steve lifted his head to meet Kono's eyes.

"I guess you could say I like the view." He stood up and grabbed his drink. "Thanks for the tea."

Steve didn't know why he expected Kono to call after him or follow him. He knew better than to believe in that Hollywood-ending bullshit. It still hurt though, to not even get a goodbye or at the very least, a you're welcome.

"What the hell are you doing back?" Danny shouted when he returned to their safe-house.

"I had my coffee with Kono, as you intended."

"I know, I sent her there," Danny made a face. "I mean what are you doing back now?"

Steve rolled the empty cup between his hands. "We talked. I let her know we'll leave her alone from now on."

"I'm going to have an aneurysm." Danny pinched his brow. "God, you are so fucking stupid."

"I am not," Steve yelled.

"Steve, she's really fucking into you, okay? You know what you do when you find out a government asset is stalking your every move? You call the cops or your congressperson, or I suppose in Kono's case, you hack their bank account. What you don't do is go around purposefully baiting the asset because you like what you see." He threw his hands up in the air. "You two are made for each other, I swear to god. I'm never going to get laid again because I'll be too busy sorting your shit out."

Danny marched over to the table and grabbed his car keys.

"Where are you going?"

"To find Kono and bring her back here so you two can stop this pigtail-pulling bullshit and just fucking kiss already."

Steve blocked the path to the door, trying his best to look determined.

"Danny, no. Look, we've done enough. Let's just leave her alone. She was only having some fun at my expense; well-deserved fun thanks to my fuck-ups. Just leave it. I'll get over it." Steve forced a smile he didn't feel. "It's me, Danno."

"Yeah, it's you," Danny agreed through gritted teeth. "And I know you, probably better than you know yourself at this point, you Neanderthal animal. This isn't some infatuation you're just going to forget, Steve. You fell in love with this girl. Far from the most healthy way, sure. Lots of issue between her, you, and a couple's therapist coming up, I can guarantee, but it still doesn't change facts. You're in love with her and that's not going to change just because we leave the city limits."

"It'll have to," Steve sighed.

.

.

Three weeks of a stake-out on Maui later, Steve was finally back in his apartment. It smelled fresh for once instead of that dry, stale smell of unopened windows and no life. Jenna must've been by to air it out. He hated coming back to this, the silence and the emptiness. It might be time to consider that roommate offer from Lori.

At least his fern was still alive. Kamekona wasn't completely hopeless at plant care.

Fuck, he should've picked up groceries on the way home. He'd have to make do with water and popcorn tonight. He didn't even have enough cash on hand for delivery. First thing was a shower though. He smelled like airport and bus stations. He was just under the blessed hot spray of decent water pressure when someone decided to break his door down with their fist.

Steve was pissed. He'd just suffered three weeks of trying to bathe out of a gas station sink. Only an idiot would interrupt a desperate man's shower.

He ripped the door open.

"What the fuck is your…Kono?!" He winced at how excited he sounded.

Kono looked at him with one raised eyebrow and gave him an once-over.

Steve was suddenly very aware that he was naked and half-covered in bodywash.

"Uh, hi," Steve said. He stepped aside and gestured for Kono to come in. He pointed to the couch. "Just, uh, make yourself at home. I'll take care of this."

Kono shook her head. "I brought dinner. Go finish your shower."

"You brought what?" Steve nearly slipped down the hall.

"You've been out of town for three weeks and I know you're not the type to stock up on staples. Jenna and I restocked you fridge for you. I wanted to tell you so you didn't die of shock." She smirked at Steve. "Or think you were in someone else's apartment."

Steve growled. "That was one time and I honestly thought I had the wrong set of keys."

He was dumbstruck as Kono walked around in his kitchen like she knew it by heart. She went to the right cabinets for cups, plates, and silverware.

"Steve," Kono said.

"Yeah?"

"You're dripping all over the floor."

"Shit, fuck." Steve dashed back into the bathroom. He took the quickest fucking shower of his life before throwing on the first pair of sweats he could find.

Kono was still there, in his kitchen, walking around as if she owned the place.

"How are you here?" Steve asked as he casually propped himself up on the countertop.

Kono laughed. She looked even more gorgeous than he remembered.

"For a government agent you are really unobservant." She pointed down the hallway where the door to the guest bedroom was open.

Steve almost slipped off the counter when he saw the new comforter, a pile of computer parts, and shoes. It looked lived-in.

"How long have you been here?"

"Since the day you left for Maui. Joe didn't have a place for me to stay yet. Danny said you wouldn't mind."

"I don't," Steve admitted.

"Good," Kono said. She pointed to the table. "We're eating like people with actual manners tonight. None of this standing over the sink shit."

"Don't fuck with my ramen tradition," Steve glared.

Kono rolled her eyes. "I don't understand how you can eat that crap and yet have that body."

"It's all about moderation," Steve tried.

Kono seemed unconvinced. She handed Steve a plate with a roast beef sandwich that was at least a pound of meat. Steve was more than a little in love.

"What are you even doing here?" Steve asked as he took his place at the table.

Kono looked up from her much more sensible-sized turkey club. "I took the job. I was going to tell you but you ran off before I could."

Steve couldn't stop smiling. He had yet to take more than two bites out of his meal because he just couldn't take his eyes off Kono, in his apartment, at his kitchen table.

"You should eat," Kono said as she washed her plate off in the sink before placing it in the dishwasher.

"Why?" Steve asked.

Kono walked over to him and palmed the back of Steve's neck. Steve automatically leaned into the touch, head falling back into the hold.

"You'll need your strength," Kono murmured. "We have so much to talk about."

Steve turned back to his sandwich and took three more huge bites of it. "Done," he said. He stood up, put his plate away, and downed a glass of water all under the watchful and amused gaze of Kono.

Kono held her hand out to Steve and he eagerly complied.

"I would say I don't know what to do with you, but I have a few ideas," Kono drawled with mischief in her eyes.

She titled her chin-up and Steve took that as a signal. He hesitated for a moment, needed to be absolutely certain. Kono's nod was small but it was there.

He kissed her softly, slow, taking his time to savor what might not happen again. Mutual hacking of each other's personal files didn't make for a good start. This wasn't typical though, nothing about either of them was standard.

Kono pulled back and Steve's stomach dropped at the dark look on her face. He just couldn't do anything right with her.

Kono's hand tugged at the back of his hair. "I am not fucking made of glass, Steve. Kiss me like you mean it. Like I know you want to, like I want you too."

Steve groaned and pulled Kono closer to him. She pushed into him and his back hit something hard. Door, wall, he didn't care. All that mattered was this sudden burst of heat, the taste of Kono on his tongue, the feel of Kono's fingers digging into his back. He left her mouth and moved to the tempting skin of her neck, smiling wide when Kono gasped at the sudden blow of air on flushed skin. Kono's fingers were skimming lower and lower with each pass, starting to tease along the waistband of his sweats. Steve had to pull back a moment to breathe when those hands palmed the skin of his hips.

"Yo, Steve," Danny yelled as he slammed the apartment door open, "I brought…perfect timing."

Steve knew his chest was heaving. He could see the red patches from his beard burn already blossoming across Kono's neck. Kono was glaring at Danny in a way that could only be described as murderous and Steve honestly should not have found that as hot as he did.

"Get. Out." Kono hissed at Danny.

Danny held his hands up. "Last time I try to help you two out."

"Now," Kono growled.

Danny slowly backed out and closed the door.

"We're getting new locks," Kono declared before tugging Steve down again.

Steve didn't even think to argue.