SPOILERS FOR THE ONE. Continue at your own risk :)

I was going to marry Prince Maxon. Just not exactly as I had hoped. In the early hours of the engagement morning, the prince had asked that I be prepared to talk some things through with him. I hoped in this discussion that he was going to purpose to me. But instead, he calmly explained to me how he was sorry that he could never love me the same way he loved Lady America. Had she said no, he told me that he would have been happy to spend the rest of his life with me. But she had agreed and with very little detail he said he had discovered what their lives would be like every day for the rest of his life. He was beaming with happiness and overwhelemed by the joy the simple idea brought him. It was crushing to hear him talk about some other girl like that. I knew I had started out being someone he had used to make Lady America jealous. But I had hoped that I would be able to get him to have stronger feelings for me than he had for her.

"I'm sorry-"Maxon started, just as we turned the corner. There stood America with her hand pressed against a guard's chest, his eyes looking as if they were full of sorrow and disappointment. Maxon ran up to them, anger and tears beginning to pour out of him as he nearly exploded. I looked sadly at America as she was told she would be going home. Even though this meant I would be getting what I wanted, it was only by default. I knew that Maxon had feelings for me but what he felt for American was so much stronger. I hated to see him this crushed.

As I walked to my room to prepare to be proposed to, I couldn't get the pure look of agony his face bore out of my head. I hoped that one day, I would be able to help stitch his heart back together. But for today, I knew he would put on his best and try to propose to me. I knew the king would be thrilled. Yet, there was a part of me that was dreading the proposal as well. I knew Queen Amberly was far fonder of America than she was of me. She always kind to me as she was to the other girls but there were secret smiles directed in America's path. Little glances over her shoulder at America and Maxon's happiness. Did she think I could make him just as happy? I thought, no, I knew I could. America was a liar and she had been discovered. And no one else would come to know her secret.

I joined Maxon and America again, waiting for the day to begin. Maxon's face was still filled with rage and America's filled with nothing but pain and regret. Both had tears in the corners of their eyes. If Maxon wasn't insist on being so stubborn, he could easily pull her into his arms and make up with her. Forgive her. But I prayed he wouldn't do that. He was the love of my life too and I had always tried to make sure I didn't do anything to hurt him. I reached out my hand as he noticed I had entered the room. He was slow to return the gesture.

That's when the bullets started. I shrieked when the blood started to flow out of Maxon's left shoulder. He started to fall backwards as I heard someone announce that they had hit the prince and to move on to finding the king. I went to run to him, wanting to pull him into my arms and assure him that I loved him and everything was going to be alright. But the guard, Leger, had already lifted me over his shoulder and started to run with me. I saw as American took cover behind a desk as did Maxon. I heard him whisper to her that his heart was hers and hers alone and to break it as many times as she wanted. It shattered a part of me. In that moment, I knew he would never belong to me. Even though I had been more faithful to him than she had, even though I had done nothing but love him our entire relationship, I was never going to be Lady America.

I hid in the strong room with Elise and a few others, hoping that Maxon would live. It would shatter the already broken pieces of my heart if he died. While it was clear that his choice was still going to be America and no matter where my life went from here, a part of me would always belong to him. I had given him my first kiss, the one that I had held dear to my heart wanting to wait to follow through with tradition. But I had still given it to him willingly, secretly hoping that our chemistry would sway him into my arms. Tears poured out of my eyes and all I could do was slink against the wall away from everyone else. I felt my lips move but whispering his name seemed so unreal I would've sworn it wasn't my voice saying it.

I don't know how long we were in the safe room. I don't remember leaving. After seeing Maxon get shot, all I can remember is waking up in the hospital wing. I was told I hadn't been injured but that I had been in a state of shock since they found me. They tried to explain what had happened to some of the others—Queen Amberly, King Clarkson, and Celeste had all been fatally shot—but it didn't register in my mind at that moment.

It was a few hours later that I remember asking one of my maids if Maxon was still alive. My heart was filled with nothing but joy when I heard that while he was severely injured he would live. I imagined getting up from my bed and running into his arms, feeling his fingers brush my hair as he held me. Asking for another kiss from his soft, loving lips. Telling him how I felt yet again. Reminding him how it didn't matter if he was the prince or not. I closed my eyes when I remembered. He would be waiting for Lady America to come and see him, not me. While he might enjoy my presence as a friend in this difficult time, that's all I would be.

Nonetheless and geared with a Get Well card, my signature move towards him, I asked if I could go and see him, to offer my condolences. I had the maids ask if he wanted to see me first and he said he would. I didn't know what he would want to say to me but it wouldn't be the three words I wanted to come from his mouth. I walked into his room, where he was laying with his arm in a sling looking like he was still in deep pain and still groggy.

"Hello Prince Maxon," I whispered, setting the card on his bedside table. I took the seat next to him. How much I wished I could pull his hand into mine, caress him and bring his world to a small bit of ease even if it only lasted a moment. But I wasn't America. I wouldn't be able to ease any of his pain like she would.

"Kriss," he whispered to me, lightly placing his right hand on top of mine. "I'm sorry Kriss." He whispered as if he were unsure what to say to me. "You have been nothing but kind to me. I should have seen that part of you long before I returned from New Asia. I liked you a lot Kriss."

The words sting like a knife being forced into me a lot. I liked you a lot. Not loved, not I'm still working on moving past my feelings for you. I didn't know how long the feelings I had stirred inside him had lasted or how quickly they had gone. Would he have felt anything towards me if he had gotten engaged that morning? "I'm not her," I whispered back to him. It seemed he had forgiven her without even needing to think twice about it. Would he have been able to do the same with me if we would've had an argument over something?

"I hope you find someone who makes you so blissfully happy," he continued looking into my eyes. "You are a wonderful woman and I wish nothing but the best for you. But my heart belongs to Lady America and I know now it always will. I don't know if she will agree to marry me still but I can't subject you to being second place. You deserve to be someone's everything."

That was my sweet Maxon. I wanted to scream that I would still marry him after or if America rejected him. But part of me knew it was a lost cause. I had seen how terrified she was of getting sent home that morning. Once she woke up and left the hospital, they would be getting engaged. Getting married. The idea made my stomach turn.

I had returned home and was living with my family once more, going back to my training of being a teacher. It had been a few weeks since I had left the palace. No word had really come about the wedding yet but everyone knew that Prince Maxon and Princess America were engaged. It hadn't been televised as it would have been that morning during the Selection and I was glad. I didn't know if I could handle watching him propose to and marry her. I knew I would attend the wedding but both events would have been too much for me to handle. Even though my feelings were starting to die out a little it would still be a long time before I wished that I was Maxon's princess.

Smile through the wedding, I told myself over and over again. You really are happy for America underneath it all. If Maxon is happy, you are happy for him. No matter how much it hurt watching America walked down to her happy ending, I knew that there would be someone else in my life who would love me. Even though I thought it was supposed to be Maxon, as I watched them enjoy their first kiss as husband and wife, I knew that could never be me. And for the first moment since that morning, I was truly happy for them and myself.

As always, reviews are appreciated! :)