Saving Harry

Chapter 1: Despair

Harry sat and looked morosely out of his window as the soft rain darkened the pavement of Privet Drive.

It had been ten whole days since he had returned to the hell hole that he was required to come to during the summer holidays.

Ten whole days and he still couldn't come to terms with the fact that Sirius was dead and it was all his fault.

Silent, hot tears leaked from his eyes, scorching their way down his sullen, sunken cheeks leaving glistening streaks as the physical evidence of his internal turmoil.

His hand held the latest of the letters that had been arriving everyday since his arrival back to his aunt's and uncle's home. It was the only one that evoked any type of emotion.

If Harry had been able to have a coherent thought he probably would have found the letter on the funny side. As it was it had only made him angry as it was a Howler that the youngest Weasley had sent, arriving in the middle of the night and opening with the explosive force that they were known for.

Unfortunately it had woken his so called family and earned Harry a harsh slap up the side of his face, leaving a huge hand sized bruise that he wasn't even aware of such was his state.

With a sadness that was all consuming, the one little part that still remained of his normal brain took quill in hand to write a scathing reply. With a viciousness born of his rage and hopelessness he poured out all his feelings that had till now remained hidden deep within him.

Without bothering to reread what he had written he signed his name so hard the quill ripped through the parchment, and with his last remaining rage he folded the letter in thirds, the last fold done so brutally it further tore the parchment.

Taking a look at it, Harry shook his head in frustration and flung the offending paper across the room before throwing himself onto his bed and allowing the blessed darkness to take hold of him once again.

Hedwig had sat watching her wizard with growing concern and tonight she knew she had to act. Once Harry's breathing and ragged sobs had subsided, she flew across the room, deftly snatching the parchment from the floor where it lay and with one last worried look, she took off into the night's sky.

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Ginny Weasley awoke to the sun hitting her in the face and she groaned as she rolled over, wishing to fall back to sleep, feeling groggy after staying up so late.

Unfortunately sleep eluded her. Her mind immediately going back to the Howler she had sent in her anger at Harry and the way he was acting. Last night after dinner she had overheard her Mum and Dad talking in the parlour. Her Mum had been brought to tears over the situation concerning Harry.

She knew there was more to it than his not replying to the letters that had been sent but her Mum had mentioned that several times and so Ginny had fixated on that fact when she had composed her Howler.

In the morning light she was now regretting her actions but last night in her rage she hadn't thought of that.

After a subdued breakfast where even the Twins didn't cause a ruckus, Molly had informed the children that she and their father were going over to Headquarters and try to talk some sense to Dumbledore.

She had looked pointedly at each of the children, admonishing them that they were to stay in the house and not cause any trouble or there would be severe repercussions when she and Arthur returned.

Ginny returned to her room and sat on her bed, staring out the window, letting her thoughts wander, trying her hardest to let the growing feeling of discomfort dissipate, though she was finding that to be a hopeless task.

Her attention was suddenly drawn to movement outside and her eyes widened in surprise as Hedwig came flying across the lawn at a speed Ginny had never seen an owl fly before.

Ginny's surprise deepened as Hedwig made her way directly to her window and it was only by a hair's width that she got the window opened before Hedwig would have crashed right into it.

Ginny's eyes had flitted to Hedwig's leg and she was a little shocked at not seeing anything tied there as normal. It took just a moment for her to register that the Snowy Owl had something clutched tight in her beak.

With an insistence born of desperation, Hedwig flung herself at Ginny, butting her head into the startled girl's hand.

Tentatively Ginny took the torn and battered letter from the owl and opened it.

Ginny,

Thank you so much for your wonderful Howler. My relatives were so Happy for its arrival. My uncle gave me such a Loving tap welcoming it into their house at 3 this morning. Not that he hasn't expressed his Love in the same manner many times before.

As for making you Mum cry, that is probably the only thing that I truly regret and I'm truly sorry for being such a bother. Something I plan on rectifying in the near future, that way you, and the rest of your family won't have to worry about me any more.

I miss him so much, him and my mum and dad. My only hope is to be with them in the near future. I can't go on like this any more.

Goodbye Ginny.

Harry.

Ginny felt her heart leap into her throat and tears threatened to fall, for if she was reading his note correctly, Harry was planning on doing something drastic, unthinkable and it scared Ginny more than she had ever been before.

Hedwig hooted softly as Ginny ran from the room, hoping that the young female would be able to save her wizard from doing what she was sure he was contemplating.

Ginny ran down the stairs yelling for Ron and the Twins as loudly as she could. Entering the kitchen she was surprised to find it empty, turning quickly into the parlour, she found it to was deserted.

"Ron! Fred! George!" she hollerred.

Once again only silence answered her.

Trembling now, she thought briefly of flooing to Headquarters, but she quickly dismissed the idea. Somehow deep inside she knew time was of the essence. She grabbed a handful of floo powder and flinging it into the fireplace she called out loudly, "Figg residence" and disappeared in a flash of green fire.

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Harry stared at the small sharp knife he had snuck downstairs and "borrowed" from the set of knives his aunt possessed. He knew she used it least and so it had remained the sharpest of all of them.

He felt a calmness settle over himself as he closed his eyes and thought of Sirius, his mum and dad. Soon he'd join them and then maybe his pain and suffering would come to an end.

He was vaguely aware of someone shouting downstairs but he forced it from his mind as he gripped the knife tightly and drew it forcefully across his wrist, barely feeling the cold steel as it sliced deep. With a deep sigh he switched hands and did the same to his other wrist.

He opened his eyes and was satisfied with the amount of blood that was flowing, knowing that it shouldn't be long now.

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Ginny barely acknowledged Mrs. Figg as she bolted from her house, running as fast as she could to Number 4 Privet Drive.

She rang the bell desperately, the feeling of dread building inside of her. Just as she reached for the bell again, the door flew open.

"YOU!" she heard the large fat man scream. "We don't want any of your kind here!"

Ginny brandished her wand and without barely a look, she pushed passed him, hurrying as fast as she could up the stairs. It took her several precious moments to locate the correct door. Finally realizing it had to be the one with the multiple locks fastened to it.

With a prayer that she wasn't to late she forced the door open and stopped right inside taking in then scene before her.

Harry lay on his bed, his arms outstretched, blood pouring from the deep cuts on each wrist.

"Oh Harry," she called out softly.

She was gratified to see his head turn toward her, but his eyes looked dull and unfocused.

"G – Ginny?" he stuttered out softly. "You shouldn't be here."

Ginny ran the few feet to his bed and dropped onto her knees, shaking her head at the amount of blood she found there. Her trembling hands reached out towards him but she froze for a moment, unsure of what to do.

Suddenly someone was behind her. "Put pressure on his cuts," someone spoke into her ear.

Glancing up, she saw Mrs. Figg who had followed her.

"I'll be right back," the elderly squib said to her as she hurried out of the room.

Ginny grabbed Harry's wrists tightly, try desperately to stem the flow of blood. Though slowed the blood continued to leak out around her fingers, slowly coating them with Harry's life blood.

Harry's eyes met hers briefly. The sadness they contained broke Ginny's heart and she had to fight the tears that threatened to fall, clouding her vision for a moment.

Blinking rapidly she cleared her eyes, just in time to see Harry's flutter shut as he lost consciousness. Only the steady spurting of his blood let her know that at least for now his heart was still beating.

It seemed an eternity till she heard someone rushing up the stairs and entering the room.

Madam Pomfrey was at her side in a moment. "Keep the pressure on," the matron said quietly as she pulled her wand.

By now Ginny's hands were trembling, not with the effort but because she was close to shock at what was happening.

The matron quickly closed the deep cuts on Harry's wrists and pulled several vials of a deep red potion from her pocket.

Ginny stared vacantly at her blood covered hands that still trembled violently. The tears she had been fighting suddenly poured forth and she started sobbing uncontrollably.

She felt warm, tender arms encircle her, pulling her in tight. "You saved his life, Ginny," Madam Pomfrey whispered into her ear.

"It's all my fault," Ginny managed to sob out. Pouring forth the story of the Howler she had sent.

The matron gently rocked her, "He was at this point without the Howler," she gently explained.

Ginny turned her attention to the still unconscious Harry. He looked so pale and fragile laying there in the bed stained by his own blood, the bruise on his face standing out plainly from his white, pale skin.

"What's going to happen now?" she managed to get out, looking beseechingly at the matron.

With a sad look, Madam Pomfrey said, "Well we certainly can't leave him here. I'll have to speak to Albus but rest assured that he won't be left alone like he has been in the past."

Ginny was vaguely aware of someone helping her to her feet. She had to close her eyes for a moment as her head spun and she thought she might pass out.

The next thing she was aware of was being led back inside of the Burrow. She felt so out of place and found it impossible to focus on anything.

"Ginny!" she heard her mother shriek. "Where have you been?"

Ginny tried her hardest to focus on her mother but she was shaking so hard she found it impossible. She felt someone lead her over to the table and gently set her in a chair.

As she sat she instinctively put her hands on the table and she almost lost it again when she saw they were still covered in Harry's blood.

In the background she heard a sharp intake of breath as her mother got sight of her hands. Ginny closed her eyes and started taking deep breaths, trying desperately to calm her racing emotions. Hearing at the edge of her understanding someone explaining to the elder Weasleys what had taken place.

Ginny was barely aware as someone scooped her up and began to carry her up stairs. It was only by his smell that Ginny was aware that it was her father as she couldn't take her eyes off of her blood soaked hands.

They were shortly joined by Molly who took Ginny into the bathroom and gently began to cleanse her of all the blood that covered her hands.

Ginny just stared at her hands and began to breath in short gasping breaths. Her eyes began to swell with tears and she let out a soft keening wail. The guilt she felt overwhelming her.

She wasn't even aware as Molly picked her up and took her to her room, gently laying her down on her bed.

Ginny curled up into a small ball and continued to cry. Her mind flitting from her guilt to seeing Harry bleeding before her and the sight of her blood covered hands.

"Here, drink this," someone said, gently pulling her to a half sitting position. Unconsciously she let them place a goblet to her lips and she mechanically drank what was offered. Her last cognitive thought was of Harry and how he had looked laying there on his bed, his blood pooling around him.

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Harry drifted back to consciousness but he kept his eyes closed for the time being. Soft subtle sounds made their way to him and he somehow knew he was at the Burrow.

With a great sense of sadness he knew he had failed in his attempt to join those he had lost.

Unbidden a flash of a memory flitted through his mind, a quick glimpse of Ginny standing in the doorway to his room at the Dursley's. The feeling of despair he was feeling deepened as he became aware that Ginny had seen him.

Harry squeezed his eyes tight, fighting the tears that threatened to emerge as the feelings of guilt intensified and he felt as if his heart was being crushed.

"Mr. Potter. Mr. Potter! Harry," he heard dimly.

He slowly opened his eyes and took in the form of Madam Pomfrey standing over him. She had a look of great concern on her face.

When she saw that he was looking at her, her demeanour changed to a harsher one. "If I release you from the binding will you give me your word you will not attempt to harm yourself again?" she asked.

Harry just stared at her for several moments before giving her a short curt nod. He hadn't even been aware that his arms were stuck to the bed.

After staring into his eyes for a second, the matron pulled her wand and cast the counter for the restraining spell.

"It's time for your potions," she said succinctly, drawing several vials from her pocket.

Harry recognized the deep red one as a blood replenishing potion but he didn't recognizance the other two, not that it really mattered to him.

He tried to sit up but found he was unable to, feeling exceedingly weak. The matron gently assisted him and in no time he had swallowed his potions. He gratefully laid back down, feeling spent from just that minor attempt to move.

In what Harry considered an uncharacteristic move, she gently ran her fingers through his hair, causing his throat to constrict and increase the pressure on his heart.

Closing his eyes, he wanted nothing more than to withdraw completely into himself though the gentle touch made it hard to do so.

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Ginny awoke with a start and looked around her room frantically. The events of the previous day flooding into her mind. The image of Harry laying on his bed, his blood spurting from his wrists was foremost in her mind.

Not even after her disastrous first year had she felt so lost and depressed. She fought against the tears that filled her eyes and she gave a small sob, wishing desperately that it had all been a nightmare, but knowing that it wasn't.

She threw off the duvet and saw she was still dressed in her clothes from the day before. Rising and not bothering to change she made her way down to the kitchen.

She paused before entering, not knowing what to expect. She took a deep breath and slowly made her way into the room. Suddenly all the sounds of the people eating stopped as everyone looked up at her.

"How are you feeling?" her Mum asked her softly.

Ginny just gave a small shrug, unable to articulate the emotions that filled her.

"How about something to eat?" her mother asked kindly.

Ginny just nodded and moved over and sat down in her normal spot. It was then she noticed everyone staring at her.

At first she felt her anger rising but when she looked down at herself she noticed that her clothing was stained by Harry's blood.

She took a deep ragged breath, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. "I'll be right back," she said in a whisper.

She was keenly aware of everyone's eyes following her as she left the room. Slowly she made her way back up and into her room. Shutting the door, she leaned on it for several moments as the feelings of despair washed over her again.

Sighing deeply, she took off her blood-stained clothing, which she carefully folded and hid in her closet, not even sure why she was doing so.

Once changed she went first to the loo and vigorously scrubbed her hands, trying to get them clean even though there was no sign of any dirt or blood present. She scrubbed until her hands hurt but it didn't change how she felt. To her they were still imbued with Harry's blood.

Fighting back the bile she felt rising in her throat, she gave up and made her way back down to the kitchen.

As soon as she sat back down her mother placed a plate full of food in front of her. Ginny stared at the food before her and she felt the bile rising in her throat once more. She fought the urge to vomit, taking short shallow breaths.

"Please try to eat something," her mother urged.

Ginny's eyes flitted to her mother and then back to her plate. Knowing it was a mistake but trying to satisfy her mother, she tentatively took a small bite of her eggs.

As soon as it hit her stomach, Ginny knew it was a losing battle. She suddenly jumped up and ran for the loo. Luckily she made it just in time, and her rebellious stomach poured forth what little she'd eaten along with the dank bile.

She slowly got up and rinsed her mouth out. Looking at herself in the mirror she noted how wan she looked along with a thin sheen of sweat that coated her face.

She wasn't surprised as her mother was waiting for her outside the loo's door.

"Are you all right?" her mother asked with deep concern.

Fighting her tears and with a wistful face she just shrugged at her mum. "I think I'm going to lay down for a while," she said softly.

Molly gave her a hug and left her standing there as she turned her attention to Madam Pomfrey as she came out of Bill's old room.

Ginny hung back wanting to hear what was said.

"How's he doing?" her mother asked.

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "He's doing was well as can be expected physically, but it's his mental state that I'm worried about."

Ginny watched as a worried look took over her mother's face. She waited as her mum and the matron slowly made their way down the stairs, their conversation fading as they descended.

Ginny crept to the door of Harry's room and with great trepidation she slowly opened it. Tears sprung to her eyes as she took in the sight before her. Harry was curled up in a tight ball, laying on his side facing the wall.

Ginny slowly made her way over to the bed and sat down on the edge. If Harry noticed she was there, he gave no sign.

Ginny tentatively reached out and gently ran her fingers through his unruly hair, hoping to give some semblance of comfort.

When she first touched him, he gave a jerk but made no other movement or action to acknowledge her.

As Ginny continued to stroke her fingers through his hair she felt him relax slightly and his breathing eased some.

Ginny fought her tears and she couldn't help but deride herself for her weakness. If anyone would have told her just a couple of days ago that she'd be almost constantly crying she would have hexed them but now she couldn't seem to stop or control them.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered. "Just when I'm getting to really know you and count you as one of my closest friends."

Harry gave no indication that he had heard her, though Ginny knew he had. "Please don't make me go through that again," she pleaded softly.

She though he might have given a jerk at her words, or she might have imagined it. She leaned in and kissed him on the side of his head and she was sure she noticed him breathing raggedly.

Standing, she headed for the door, figuring on leaving him in peace. Just as she opened the door and before she could exit, she heard a soft "I'm so sorry, Ginny."

She paused for a moment, looking back at him, but he remained curled facing the wall. She ignored his apology and with a sad smile she softly said "I'm here for you Harry. I'll come back if you want me to."

When he didn't respond, she quietly left the room, shutting the door carefully behind her.

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Later that afternoon Hermione arrived and she was nothing short of a mess. Of course she and Ron had immediately gotten into a row over what had happened and who should have done what. All in all it gave Ginny a severe headache.

As the days slipped by the tension in the Burrow rose exponentially. Ron and Hermione bickered constantly. Mrs. Weasley was so sad and Ginny had noticed that she rarely smiled anymore.

Ginny also continued to struggle with her own demons. She had taken to wearing clothing with really long sleeves which she used to keep her hands totally covered. They were now painfully raw as she continued to scrub and wash them as she tried to cleanse them of blood that wasn't there anymore.

Harry had yet to venture from his room and Ginny had discovered that he spent most of his time sleeping, sometimes up to eighteen to twenty hours per day. She had avoided returning to his room, unsure what to do as she had left that option up to him and so far he hadn't requested her company.

Ginny had also noticed the parade of food trays that made their way into and out of Harry's room. Most returning to the kitchen bearing the same contents that they had left with. She had overheard her mum's comment to her father that if it wasn't for the nutritional potions that Madam Pomfrey was giving him that he'd be nearly starved to death at this point.

All in all it lead to many a time with Ginny huddled alone in her room staring at her hands and crying quietly for Harry.

A full week had passed when things came to a head. Madam Pomfrey had been showing up each day to check on Harry, bring his potions and making sure he was taking them.

Ron and Hermione had waited for her to come out of Harry's room, wanting to gain access and speak to their friend. Up to that point she had limited who had access, saying Harry needed time to recover before he was subject to any questioning about what had happened.

After stoically listening to the duo she had said that it would be up to Harry if he wished visitors. She left everyone standing in the hall as she returned to Harry's room to check with him.

After shutting the door, she looked carefully at Harry. He remained almost in the identical position that he had assumed the day he had arrived. He was laying in bed, curled up, facing the wall.

"Harry," she said softly. "Your friends would like to see you. Do you wish for them to come in and visit with you?"

For a moment she thought he wasn't going to answer, so long did he lay there quietly. Just when she was about to give up and she was turning towards the door, he softly said "No."

Though saddened by his response she had expected it. She grasped the nob and was opening the door when he suddenly spoke again.

"Wait,"

Madam Pomfrey turned back towards him. She could see he still hadn't moved but there was a subtle difference about him.

"Ginny," he whispered. "I'd like to see Ginny, if she'll see me."

"All right, I'll send her in," she replied.

Madam Pomfrey exited Harry's room and looked over the people assembled there. Ron and Hermione were looking at her expectantly, the Twins were just hanging around to see what they could find out and Ginny hung at the back, hoping and wishing that Harry would choose her but not really expecting him to do so, figuring he would pick his two closest friends instead.

She was shocked when Madam Pomfrey motioned to her and called her forward. "Harry would like to see you Miss Weasley," the matron said softly.

Ron shot daggers at her, his face scowling deeply. "What does he want to see her for?" he asked hotly.

Ginny heard in the background Hermione say something to her brother but she wasn't paying any attention to what was being said. Her focus was fixed on the matron who was looking directly at her, a small smile on her face.

Ginny gave her what she hoped was an encouraging smile but in reality it was rather a wan one. Madam Pomfrey opened the door and ushered Ginny inside, closing the door behind her.

Ginny paused for a moment right inside the door. The light was very dim and it took that time for her eyes to adjust. She noticed Harry, still curled up facing the wall but he was trembling and breathing raggedly.

She slowly made her way over to the bed and as she arrived Harry slowly rolled over and looked at her.

Their eyes locked and Ginny's heart was nearly broken by the pain and torment she saw looking back at her. So much so that she had to take several deep breaths in an effort to calm herself.

Neither spoke but slowly Harry reached out his hand towards her. Ginny watched it as it was extended, her eyes fixating on the vivid scar that ran across his wrist.

Ginny responded by reaching out and taking Harry's hand, he looked intently at her hand, frowning as he noticed its raw state. Sighing deeply, he shut his eyes as she took his hand in hers.

With a gentle tug Harry pulled Ginny towards him. "Could you just hold me?" he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.

Ginny gave him a small wan smile and nodded her head. She climbed in bed with him and gently wrapped her arms around him, pulling his body tight into hers spoon fashion.

Harry wrapped his arms around hers and tightened his grip, forcing his body back into hers as far as it could go. Laying his head under hers he sighed deeply and began to shake slightly. It wasn't until hot droplets fell down on her hands and arms did she realize he was crying. Fighting her own tears she leaned forward and kissed the top of his head while tightening her grip and hugging him fervently, willing all the love she felt for him into his body and mind.

Slowly Harry's tears tapered off and his shaking ceased. Ginny felt him relax back into her and she heard his breathing even out as he fell asleep in her loving arms.

Ginny felt emotionally and physically drained and before she knew it she drifted off to sleep too.

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Ginny awoke slowly and became aware of the soft droning of voices nearby. As she became more awake, she took in everything around her.

First and foremost was the warmth of the body snuggled close into hers and the memory of getting into bed with Harry and holding him flooded into her. She could feel the gentle rise and fall of his breathing and she could tell he was still asleep.

Ginny couldn't help but smile but then the voices nearby intruded making her roll her eyes as she listened to her mother question Madam Pomfrey about the propriety of Ginny being in bed with Harry.

Laying still and pretending to be asleep, she listened with satisfaction as the matron put her mother in her place, explaining how important it was to Harry's mental well-being for him to receive as much support as possible, which included touch and love without reservation, which Ginny was able to supply.

If it weren't for the gravity of the situation, Ginny thought she might have laughed at the predicament her mother found herself in but the reality of the situation was right before her and she felt her heart tighten in response to her thoughts about Harry and his circumstances.

Ginny had to close her eyes and concentrate hard on slowing her rapidly beating heart and reign in her emotions. She vowed she'd be strong for Harry and help him even if she had to stand up to her mother to do so. Though Madam Pomfrey had told her she wasn't responsible for causing Harry to harm himself, Ginny couldn't help but feel that she was at least partially to blame.

As Ginny turned her attention back to Harry she was dimly aware of her mother and Madam Pomfrey leaving and heading down the stairs. She took one last look at Harry's sleeping form and snuggled into him, laying her head back down and soon drifted off to sleep.

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A/N: Something new and a bit darker than my usual.

Reviews are most appreciated.