This is a continuation to my story To the Moon and Back. It's been a long time since I posted that story, but I finally got my shit together to be able to write the rest that I wanted to. You probably have to read the first part to understand this. I'm sorry it took so long, I hope you enjoy.

A light knock at his front door pulled Hotch out of his misery causing him to reluctantly get up and open the door. He couldn't say he was surprised to see who was on the other side, but he could say that he wasn't sure how this encounter would go.

"Hey," Emily whispered lightly as she took a quick glance at his appearance. He looked extremely tired, hair was a mess, and he had taken off his dress shirt and tie from earlier that day.

Hotch didn't reply with more than a nod as he retreated back into his too quiet apartment, knowing that she would follow him. That's what she did. He plopped down on his couch and ran a hand through his hair. Emily quickly removed her coat and sat on the opposite end.

"I meant to thank you earlier," Hotch finally spoke up.

Emily's head tilted to the side in confusion. "Thank me? For what?"

"Coming. I think you're the reason Jack fought so hard at the end. He was holding out because he knew you'd come and he wanted to see you again."

Emily's eyes filled with tears as she listened to several words crack as they left his mouth. "Of course," she said, "I wish there was something I could do."

Silence filled the room as the duo knew there wasn't much else to say that wasn't sad. For the first time since she walked in, Emily noticed Hotch was sitting in the dark.

"Do you need anything?" Emily reluctantly asked, knowing the answer already.

Hotch's eyes latched onto hers. "Can you bring my son back to me?" He asked as a single tear escaped his eye.

Emily bit her lip. "That's the one thing I can't do, and I'm so sorry-"

"Stop," Hotch whispered. "I'm so tired of people telling me they're sorry. It doesn't make me feel any better. It actually makes it worse, so please stop."

All Emily could do was nod her head. More silence followed that and Emily couldn't help but get anxious. The longer they sat there in silence the chance of him lashing out or crying in front of her became larger. After five minutes, Emily's fear came true.

She watched as Hotch's face went from completely devastated to hard with anger in mere seconds. Even though she knew it was coming, the first outburst startled her.

"Why are you really here?" Hotch barked at the innocent woman. "You ran away and left everyone here in your wake and you didn't even come back when you found out what happened to Jack, so why be here now?"

Emily's mouth dropped open. "Everyone told me not to come when I found out. Even you. You said it was early and it looked good and I shouldn't worry. I wanted to come," she cried out, "you stopped me!"

"So why are you here now?" He asked again as he stood from his seat.

"I came because I love Jack, I wanted to see him in person and not just on a computer screen."

"And when do you plan on running away again? Tomorrow?"

"I didn't run away," Emily said as she stood up. She watched as Hotch began to pace back and forth. "I told you why I needed to leave. I'm here now though. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"NO!" Hotch yelled. "If you didn't run in the first place you could have been here with Jack. Do you have any idea how much he loved you? When you first left I had to console him every night just to get him to fall asleep. It was so hard without having you in a place where he could see you if he wanted to. All you did was make him love you then you went away, leaving him to deal with everything while you were off starting a new life," Hotch bellowed causing Emily to flinch at his harsh tone.

Emily couldn't keep the tears from coming now. She never wanted to hurt Jack. She had cared about him so much. She didn't remember when they became so close, but she did know that she had missed him terribly while in London. There were days where they talked for hours and Jack seemed happy, but clearly she was wrong. The fact that there was no way for Emily to apologize and beg for forgiveness made her cry more. As Emily began to open her mouth to defend herself somehow, Hotch cut her off in a much softer tone.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled or said that." Hotch walked back to the couch and plopped down, defeated as he covered his face with his hand. "I'm just so angry and I'm taking it out on you and that's not right. You haven't done anything wrong. Emily, I'm sorry," he whispered. "What am I supposed to do without him? First Haley, now Jack. Am I cursed? Do the people I love just get taken away from me? Jack was the only reason I made it through after Haley. What am I supposed to do now?" Hotch looked up at the brunette still standing and confessed to her what he hasn't confessed to anyone yet, "I miss him so much," Hotch choked out and started to cry.

Emily rushed over to the broken man who she cared about so much more than she should, and wrapped her arms around him. "It'll be okay Hotch," she whispered as she rubbed his back. "I know it feels like nothing will ever be the same and that you'll never smile again but I swear you will. You will get through this." Emily pulled him closer and he wrapped his arms tighter around her while hiding his face in the crook of her neck. "I will help you get through this. However you need me to help, I'll do it. I'll be here until you tell me to leave. You aren't alone in this Hotch." Emily ran soothing circles on his back while her other hand lovingly played with the hair at the back of the his neck. "I wish I knew what to do to make you feel better. To make you forget for a while."

They sat in that position for ten minutes with Emily whispering to him about how he's not alone and that it'll be okay. Eventually Hotch calmed down a bit and they began to pull apart. He stopped her before she could lean all the way back.

For the first time in all the years Emily has known him, she finally felt like Hotch was letting her in, or at least letting her see a side of him that he didn't show others. Before she could register what was happening or even that he moved, his lips crashed onto hers.

It took a second before she pulled away. "What are you doing?" she asked in bewilderment.

Hotch ran his fingers through her long silky hair and cupped her face. "I know it won't fix how I'm feeling in the long run, but I want you to help me forget for a little while. I want you to help me see that there's still beauty in the world. I want you." When he saw the hesitation on her face, Hotch knew he was going insane. He just asked one of his good friends to make him forget about his troubles and she was going to run away again. But he needed this. He needed her. It's always been her. As his eyes watered at the thought of losing her too because of his stupid remarks, he said the only thing he could think of. "Please?"

Emily's heart broke more as she listened to the strongest man she knows beg her to do this for him. He has always been there for her, how could she tell him no? The worries about whether or not this would ruin their friendship ran from her mind as she leaned forward and placed her lips gently against his, giving him his answer.

Hotch sighed in relief as he felt her lips on his and pulled her closer, knowing she was the one he needed. He never knew that something in such a horrible time could feel so right. He quickly pulled her onto his lap and ran his hands up her back. There were so many times he has thought about doing this with her, but he never thought he actually would. Emily's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling her even closer as their tongues tangled together in a sensual dance. This wasn't about dominance or about how much they truly wanted each other. It was about how they could leave all their sorrow behind for an hour or so and just feel skin on skin and forget the world for a while.

Emily leaned back and took a second to really look at Hotch while he wasted no time in reaching up and cupping her breasts. They felt better than he could have ever imagined. Emily rotated her hips against his and they both let out a gasp at the sensation.

She got up off his lap and grabbed his hand and quickly pulled him towards his bedroom, while stripping off their clothes along the way. By time they reached his room, Hotch was stepping out of his pants. Emily pushed him down gently on the edge of the bed then stepped out of her skirt. She wasted no time before falling to her knees in between his legs.

Even though she was sad about Jack, she knew this was all for Hotch. Not her, so she quickly discarded his boxers then put her mouth to work, causing Hotch to fall back on the bed as his mind went blank just letting her work wonders on him. As he leaned up and watched as her head went up and down, he never knew something could feel so good.

One thing was for certain, he had to stop her before this ended before it began. It had been far too long for him to last long with how amazing her mouth felt.

Hotch grasped her hair and pulled gently letting her know he wanted her. Emily's eyes met his and she released him from her mouth and climbed up to straddle him. Her mouth descended on his and she realized this was going to be a hard habit to quit. Emily quickly lined them up and slowly lowered herself on top of him, causing both members to moan out loud.

Hotch gripped her hips tightly and let her pick the speed which was slow, yet steady. They locked eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that night and Hotch couldn't look away. Her face was flushed and as her tongue darted out to lick her lip, Hotch picked up the pace a little bit more.

There were so many things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her how amazing she is. How very beautiful. He wanted to share how he really felt about her and yet even in the most intimate position they could be in, he couldn't utter the words. He knew she was only doing this because he begged her. Telling her how he really felt would just make things more awkward.