Title:- Off with their heads

Pairing:- Izuo, Shinra x Celty

Rating:- M

Warning:- Language, Izaya

Disclaimer:- I don't own Durarara

Summary:- Izaya asked her once what she would do if another Dullahan came to Ikebukuro. Celty's fears come true when just that happens, a new beautiful addition appears and now everyone is in danger.

Izaya is an asshole

A/N:- This one I wrote for fun, should be quite short. Enjoy.

Then

It was unfair what the stupid humans were doing. From where she sat in front of the usual portal that was used. A creature of pure darkness struggled in a man's grip. It shouldn't be like this. The humans were cowards using what looked like a cursed blade.

Her fist clenched slamming against the golden floor. "No!" Through the portal to earth the blade seemed to gleam an eerie crimson as it came swinging down cutting off the supernatural creature's head from her neck. It was as if a link had been cut the head carried away leaving the headless woman alone.

It hurt to watch the human's take it away. It made her chest ache watching as the woman struggled to climb onto the nearest boat as a stowaway. Why did she have to go through all of that?

"You're here again. Why waste your time with an exile?" Shaking her head she glared at the boy.

"She's my sister." Her fists clenched in anger as laughter bounced across the walls.

"One of many. Return to the feast." Shaking her head she picked up the spear at her side.

"I was the closest to her. I won't let her suffer."

More laughter which she cut off a hand clenching around the boy's throat. "Calm down. I get it and I can help, for a price." Through the portal she could see the confused woman crouched behind a box.

"Name it." The boy wagged a finger.

"Not yet. When I come for you in the future, don't fight me. You'll give me what I want willingly."

It was a dangerous offer to accept, he wasn't a friend or foe, somewhere in between. But her sister was in pain. Reaching up she brushed her hair back hitting her gold helmet. "I want to be down there to watch over her." The boy only grinned wider.

"I can do that. I only need one word from you. Not only that I can make sure you aren't discovered."

"Deal. Get me down there." The boy took a step closer lifting her chin and placing a soft kiss against her lips.

"There sealed with a kiss." Backing away her wrist was grabbed a gold necklace dropped into her palm. "Never take this off. It will conceal your true form only while you wear it. You know what the punishment for a Valkyrie traitor is."

If caught she would have her head removed and would be forced to suffer the same fate as her sister, wandering around as a Dullahan, the majestic gold she wore would turn inky black. "I understand." The boy nodded stepping back so her beautiful stallion could nuzzle her side.

"Then go." Slipping the pendant over her head, she quickly hopped up onto her winged horse and galloped through the portal. Behind her the boy was grinning while he waved.

The air was different to her home, the golden armour she wore slowly faded changing into something else, as she broke the atmosphere the horse's wings seemed to shrink before vanishing completely sending them both spiralling downwards through the air without stopping.

Clinging to her companion they both crashed into a large body of water coughing and spluttering. Her new clothes were bitten her horse helping to drag her to shore. Brushing her hair out of the way, she scrambled onto the platform looking up at her new home.

At the same time the boat the Dullahan was on docked a little further down. A little boy ran on board excited. He was the first one to come across the scared supernatural being.

Moving a little closer he took a better look. At first it looked like she was dead, her head was missing. But the small twitches and the way she backed away told him she was perfectly alive. "Are you okay?" There was no answer though he had a feeling she was looking up at him.

"You're beautiful. I'm Shinra, do you need help? Maybe my dad can help." They remained still for a few moments before a slim hand reached out. With an innocent smile Shinra helped her up. "Come on, this way."

His father wasn't far, the gas mask making it easier to spot. "Um my dad doesn't like breathing in the air." The headless woman stopped trying to run. "Dad, I found someone that needs your help." The little boy blinked not used to how happy the man looked gazing further down. What was he looking at? "Dad?"

At last he got the man's attention. "Yes? Shinra. Oh! Who would this lovely specimen be?" Shinra squeezed the woman's hand in comfort, slightly surprised when a whisp of black smoke left her neck. No it wasn't smoke it was something else. "You're beautiful."

Now

Izaya could begin to feel his muscles burn, changing tactics his fingers looped into the metal fence allowing him to vault over it and land crouched like a cat on the other side. "Is that all you've got?" His answer was a growl, the very fence that had slowed his pace was ripped from the thick posts it had been connected to. "Don't push me flea." Throwing the broken barrier to one side, Shizuo grinned stalking forward now that he had the raven cornered.

Izaya backed away not flinching as a fist landed beside his head. "Looks like you caught me." Slipping his knife back in his pocket he moved forward a little lifting the faux blond's chin. "Or maybe I've caught you."

Behind him the wall crumbled, they weren't too far from his apartment and their chase had worked him up. "Damn it! Why can't we act like a normal couple for once?" His lover laughed slipping an arm through his.

"I thought that was obvious, you're a monster and I'm a god. There's no such thing as normal."

Shizuo grumbled taking a cigarette from his pocket. It was quickly snatched from his grasp. "What the hell?"

"I'm not kissing you when you reek of nicotine." Izaya ran ahead through the door of his apartment. Shaking his head he followed behind closing the door.

One thing was sure, you didn't ask how the fortissimo and resident psycho got together. The truth was that not even they knew the answer. They had first met back in high school. Hate at first sight if you had to name it. From the first time they laid eyes on each other they both sensed the differences between them.

Izaya was as Shinra aptly put, an asshole. He had no feelings for anyone else but his narcissistic self and yet he continuously declared his love for every single one of his precious humans. Yes the god complexed flea that was Izaya Orihara was an asshole.

Then there was Shizuo. The faux blond with adrenaline strength, that even back then could rip out signposts, goal posts and now vending machines. No one got close to him even though he insisted that he hated violence. It wasn't his fault that he was provoked every damn time.

Either way they were enemies and here they were performing acts that were for lovers. Sure they had their chases but after that? The pair would find themselves in the blond's apartment once again. Maybe Shizuo had been in an accident or his brain had stopped working. Maybe Izaya had one too many vending machines to the head. It didn't matter what it was because right now against their personalities they were in a semblance of a relationship.

Izaya paused as he opened the bedroom door, swiftly closing it again. The miserable creature behind the door began scratching at the wood and barking. He honestly didn't know why he risked coming here. The mangy mutt that the protozoan kept as a pet hated him.

Strong arms wrapped around him from behind a mocking chuckle in his ears that made him pout. "Haven't you got rid of that thing yet?" Why couldn't the brute get a cat or something? He didn't mind cats.

"Leave him alone. He was a present from Kasuka." That was the excuse for everything. The protozoan would only accept gifts from his beloved little brother.

"Hurry and get that thing out. I want to be inside you."

Just like usual the blond blinked, nothing showing on his face. Izaya broke free with ease watching from a safe distance as his so called lover stroked and petted the big dopey Labrador. He couldn't help but feel jealous seeing the look of affection.

"Shizu-chan! Are we doing this or not?"

Shizuo sighed reluctantly placing his puppy into the kitchen. "Fine." He didn't have a clue how they managed to get together but he did know why they were still together. It wasn't really his fault, even so he had insulted the flea.

As well as Izaya being annoying, he was the biggest slut back in high school and had slept with almost everyone at least once. Hell the flea had even tried to sleep with him. That had ended surprisingly, considering he had felt nothing. Because well you see Shizuo had a little problem.

Most would put it down to his extremely bad temper, others would say that he didn't have a heart and thanks to a certain rumour, more than a few had thought he was gay. Every single one had been given a one way trip to the hospital.

"Shizu-chan." A sigh left him as he was pushed backwards onto the bed, Izaya straddling him. Everything about the so called relationship was messed up. As pointed out by a familiar otaku, he was bigger built than the flea, his dick had slightly more girth and well there was no doubt he would fuck like a wild animal.

It didn't work that way though. In their messed up union, it was Izaya that topped, Izaya who teased and provoked, yet still getting no where. "Shizu-chan." It was a clear warning and he knew soon the little flick knife would appear. Sly fingers yanked his pants and boxers down. Crimson eyes glared at him taking him down memory lane back to high school once again.

High school

There were two places both of them had learnt not to fight. The first being Russian Sushi, as strong as he was and as sneaky as Izaya was neither one could best Simon. Without any trouble he could pick them up by the Scruffs of their necks.

The second was Shinra's apartment. Their slightly nutty friend who had a death wish and kept asking for his blood, lived with an impossible supernatural being. His best friend was a Dullahan, both of them getting on well. Well enough for Shinra to get jealous and wave a scalpel around anyway.

And it was at that very apartment Izaya made his move. Shizuo fell back into the closet the door shutting behind him. A warm breath on his neck told him he wasn't alone, the twitch of his nose told him exactly who he was alone with. "Flea! Get the fuck off me!"

Izaya was confident undoing the blond's shirt buttons one by one. "Hm? No I don't think I will." It was a shame there was no light, he would love to watch the protozoan's face as he succumbed to what every one of his precious humans had so far.

Things got a little rough when he shoved back. Too bad the way out was already blocked, with Shinra on his side. Slipping into the blond's personal space he could feel the heat between them. His hips rolled grinding his arousal against his new partner. "Flea! What the hell are you doing?"

"Afraid? You're a beast Shizu-chan, a monster no one will love. Be grateful I'm doing this." Shizuo shook his head sighing as the flea touched him. "Besides look at how- what?" Another sigh left him. Izaya had his dick in his hand. "Why aren't you hard?" The teen only stood there blade against his throat while the flea stroked him. "Not even a little aroused."

Confused coffee eyes blinked, Izaya wasn't happy. Or so he thought. Insane laughter flooded his ears. "Unpredictable as usual." Shizuo was blinded by the light as the doors were opened. The flea grabbed him by the collar smashing their lips together. "This isn't over, Shizu-chan. No one resists me, not even a protozoan like you!"

And with that Izaya stormed past Shinra and out of the apartment. Celty tilted her helmet. What was that? Shaking his head he dug a lollipop from his pocket.

"No idea."

Back to the present

Izaya cursed his poker face slipping. The protozoan was a monster, he was stupid and... Impotent. All in all the faux blond was a challenge he had accepted and once the game had started there was no going back.

The blond lay beneath him not even a little out of breath. No matter what he did there was no getting blood from a stone and that's exactly what the brute was. An iron golem. Yet he was a god. His existence went unmatched. "Flea. Just stick it in already. It's not going to work."

"Shut up, protozoan." His fingers stroked, rolled and pinched. Usually his expert touches had his precious humans writhing underneath him. The brute? Nothing not even a shiver. But if he ignored the foreplay and satisfied his own pleasure he would be admitting his loss.

Ten minutes in and Shizuo closed his eyes boredom and tiredness setting in. Well he was in a bed. "Shizu-chan." Cracking an eye open he met angry crimson.

"What?" The grip on his manhood tightened.

"Are you sleeping?" Shrugging his shoulders he dropped back down.

"I thought I might."

Instead of disappointment or disbelief, he was met with a cruel smirk that sent chills through his steel like bones. Already Shizuo knew what was coming. His eyes widened as a sharp needle pierced his skin, the plunger being pushed down. He could only watch as the liquid entered his system.

Although Izaya couldn't make him rise, the illegal doctor had created a serum that made every muscle twitch, his body writhing in overwhelming pleasure that left him helpless. "Damn it flea! Fucking do something!" He was met with a sickening grin.

"Why don't you beg me?" Yeah, Izaya Orihara was an asshole and no he wouldn't beg.