LMFAO OK I last posted to this story more than 2 years ago. ~Oofa Doofa~

My last years of undergrad were ROUGH, and they really stifled my creative energies. Instead of apologizing profusely, I want to thank every reader that gave this unfinished story a chance. Messages I received kept pulling me back, kept making me try to write even when I felt unsatisfied with literally everything I managed to get onto the page. Thank you so, so much for all of your support - I truly appreciate it.

I can't promise consistent updates, but I can promise that I will finish this story. Despite all appearances to the contrary, I haven't given up on it. I also intend to do a large-scale revamp sometime soon-ish. There are numerous inconsistencies and just things I don't like spread throughout this story, owing to the fact that I started it when I was still in High School, and now have University degrees. I have improved as a writer in that time, and enough time passed between updates that I sometimes forgot details of my own story. Any major, story element-related (non-grammar-related) changes made will be noted in the notes of the chapter posted after the revamp is complete.

Note specific to FFN: The changes mentioned will only be noted in the pre-chapter notes on here. The actual changes to the published version will only be live in the AO3 version of this story. I deeply apologize to my readers here about this, but anyone who has posted work on this website knows that its editing options are, well, not great. I would literally have to create new documents and reupload entire chapters, which is just, way too much. There's only 1 planned edit that's large enough that I might actually go through all that on here. I apologize!

So without further ado, I present Chapter 59!

Warnings: references to/discussion of mental health issues, hospitalization, and medical stuff

Allen POV

Living with Neah was an experience. Everything about him was eccentric, including his work schedule, of course. It meant I got a lot of time to myself, which helped with the adjustment. As much as I hated Cross and every single memory of him, "living" with him had accustomed me to being alone. And while I hated to admit it, even to myself, I knew that it would have been difficult to suddenly have people around constantly, even if they did actually care about my well-being.

Fortunately, Neah seemed to understand that I needed my space. He kept the fridge and pantry well-stocked, and pretty much just let me go about my business. He even made sure I didn't have to go back to the hospital for extra care. He checked on my injuries every 2-3 days, and informed me that I would need to go back to have my stitches removed, but that wouldn't be for a while. Owing to the severity of my injuries, 3-4 weeks of healing time could be expected, according to him, before the stitches could be removed.

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait alone for all of that time. Kanda was released after 2 days of supervision (during which he became increasingly frustrated with the nurses), so we ended up spending most of our time together. Sometimes he would come over to Neah's, other times he would pick me up and we would chill at his place. We had yet to return to Cross's place.

Though I suppose it's mine now, I mused. Neah let me know that Cross had apparently fled the country, and that Neah himself would make sure he never came back. That tallies up enough with my knowledge of the man for me to be able to believe that it's probably true. He wouldn't want to encounter the Black Order's wrath, or that of the Noah Clan, for that matter. If he's facing both, he's definitely running.

And Cross being gone meant the house was mine. On the one hand, I liked the thought – that gorgeous grand piano in that lovely living room with the large bay windows. On the other hand, the house held a lot of bad memories. Neah assured me that it was fine to take my time deciding what to do with the house – it was paid off, after all. In the meantime, though, I spent my time in other places, either alone or in the company of people I loved.

Well, I say "loved" as far as I understand the word. I care deeply for both Neah and Kanda, despite the fact that I haven't known either of them for very long. But they had both been there for me when I was at my lowest, and after all the time I've spent gambling, the one truly useful thing I've gained is the ability to tell when people are being honest. Neah and Kanda care for me, and I know their feelings are genuine, regardless of how much or how little they say.

With Kanda, the "how little" tended to be the operative part of the equation. I hadn't realized how much of a workaholic he was until I spent 4 straight days with the man. For the first third of Winter Break, we did nothing but read, study, and write that stupid AP English book report. Apparently, Kanda is the type who prefers to do their work at the start of a break, in order to ensure that the remainder is relaxing. Somehow, despite knowing full well how smart he was, I hadn't really expected that, though I didn't mind too much. What's a couple days of hard work if it means I get a week of nothing but messing around with my boyfriend afterwards?

Boyfriend. The word was still a little strange, but sent a tingle up my spine and set off butterflies in my belly every time I thought about it. Kanda is my boyfriend. Caring and abrasive, smart and sarcastic, artistic with a body that seemed to have been crafted by the gods themselves. He was perfect, and I loved every minute of being with him.

The first interruption to our world of "Kanda and Me, and occasionally Neah" came on December 20th, when I got a call. After a quick glance at the caller ID, I picked up with a grin.

"Hey, Road! How are you? What's up?"

"Allen! It's great to hear your voice! I know it's only been a few days since school let out, but it feels like forever! Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to come over the day after tomorrow? It's the Winter Solstice, and so we're having a little get-together. Usually Neah throws it, but he asked me to organize it this year! So, waddaya say?"

"That sounds awesome! Gimme a moment to check with Kanda-" I started, but got cut off by a high-pitched squeal from the other end of the line. "Uuuhhh… Road, you ok?"

"I'm fine!" She responded, sounding mildly strangled, "You said you needed to check with Kanda?"

"Ah, yes?"

"Allen, how much of break have you spent together?"

"Ummm… All of it?"

"You've spent all of break with him?"

"Oh. Well, ummm… yes. Did you not know?"

"NO!" Came the response, sounding vaguely like what the internet might call a "pterodactyl screech."

"Well, you know now?"

"Allen! Is that how you let one of your best friends know about a development like this?!"

"Oh, ummm… Sorry," I whispered sheepishly, blushing a deep shade of red by now. "We can… discuss this later, ok? Let me just… go check with him…"

I could hear the grin in her voice as she assented, and I called down the hall, covering the receiver. "Kanda! Do you want to go to Road's Yule celebration the day after tomorrow?" I waited and listened for a minute but got no answer, so I headed towards his art room. Sometimes Kanda would retreat to paint, music playing in his ears to block out the world, and wouldn't emerge for hours. I peeked my head around the door frame. "Kanda?"

He was there, sitting with his back pin-straight as he stared intently at the easel. The brush in his hand moved swiftly but carefully, filling in the dark blue of a navy sky sprinkled with stars, reflected into the ripples of recently-disturbed pond covered in pale pink water lilies. He didn't notice me.

Quietly I retreated until I was back in the kitchen, and lifted my phone back to my ear. "Sorry, Road, he's a little busy right now. But I'll make sure he agrees."

"Great! Then it'll be Tykki and Lavi, you and Kanda, the twins, Lenalee, and myself! It'll be a real party! Tykki promised to bring some mead."

"Do you want me to make anything?"

"Nah, it's cool. I'm mostly following old family recipes. Traditionally, Yule is celebrated with family and friends, and cooking is done together in a large group. So if you'd like to come early and help out, I'd appreciate it, but please don't feel like you have to."

"No, I'd love to! I've grown up more spiritual than religious, but my adoptive father used to celebrate the Pagan Holy Days. I'd love to take part in that again."

"Awesome! I'll probably start cooking around 11 or 12, and we'll have a Yule dinner around 5 or 6, so if you want to come over a little before noon, that would be great. I'll see you two then!"

"Yup! See you soon!"

Kanda was surprisingly amenable to the idea of meeting Road and the others, as I discovered when he came out of his trance to join me in the living room. Somehow, I had figured that considering his rejection of social events, he would resist. When I asked about it, he just shrugged, and said:

"We have Yule together every year. I loosely identify as Shinto, but the Noah family have a couple branches that have ended up rather ironically Pagan. Most of them are Christians, and somewhat overzealously so, but they seem to get along with the Pagan parts of the family without conflict, oddly enough."

"Road called it Yule – so is their paganism Celtic in origin?" I asked, seating myself on the living room couch.

"More Germanic, I think, though there's definitely a bunch of Celtic practices mixed in. You should ask Road – she loves talking about it," Kanda answered, joining me.

"Hmmm… I think I might, though I don't want to seem overbearing."

"Don't worry about it," Kanda huffed, "Road has a lot of tact, but she's brutally honest – she'll tell you if you say something offensive."

"True, but I'd rather avoid saying anything offensive altogether, given that it's a holiday."

"Then just sit back and enjoy it, baka Moyashi. Learn while you're there," Kanda sighed, exasperated, "Besides, I'm not sure you're even capable of being insulting."

I smiled, noticing that he had deliberately avoided looking at me as he said that. Some things never change.

"Hmmm… On a different but not unrelated note, what should we tell them all? I kinda… spilled the beans to Road about us staying together over break. So what do we say about our relationship?"

Kanda groaned, "Well, she's not gonna let either of us get away with not talking to her about it, but she won't bring it up in front of the others unless we do. So really, I'd say it's up to you."

"Me? Not us?"

"I mean, I already came out at the Halloween Party, remember? Really, I don't care what people think or know about our relationship. No one's opinions on it matter, other than our own."

"Oh." That's a very Kanda thing to say.

"Seriously, don't sweat it. I'll go with whatever you decide." Kanda glanced back at me. "But there's no need to worry about how they'll react – Road's stupidly protective of you, and I'm pretty sure every single person at that party is queer, in some form or fashion."

I couldn't help the grin, "Yeah, now that you mention it – I can't recall the last time I saw a straight."

Kanda barked a laugh. "Don't see any problems with that!"

"Hmm…" I pushed myself up and over into Kanda's lap. "You're right – no problem at all," I murmured, leaning in to kiss him. I could feel his answering grin against my lips. We spent the rest of the afternoon like that, kissing languidly on the couch, acclimating ourselves to each other's touch.

Thank you again to everyone who has stuck with me! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! :)