Chapter 1 - Starting Today You Are a Host!

'Damn!' I thought walking along the corridors of my school Ouran Academy. I have just spent the past half an hour looking for a quiet place to do my homework in peace, but to no avail. This place has 4 fuckin' library's, so you'd think one would be quiet for gods sake.

Given this amount of evidence I assume that rich kids only come to school for a good time. I stopped walking when I reached a door at the end of the hallway that I was walking along and looked up at the sign above it. The sign read 'Music room #3' and I thought about it for a moment. 'An abandoned music room, huh? Guess I can only get away from everyone in here.'

I reached down for the handle but hesitated a moment before pulling down on it and slowly opening it. A second later I was blinded as a group of red rose petals drifted through to meet me from the other side of the door.

"Welcome!"

For the record I didn't even know it at the time, when I opened the door I found the Host Club.

It took me a few seconds to fully comprehend what was going on. After regaining my sight so to speak I blinked twice and saw six beautifully handsome boys standing before me.

"Welcome!" They chorused in unison leaving me to stand staring at them. My instant first thoughts were 1, WTF! and something along the lines of I'm screwed but I digress as I doubt these thoughts would help my current situation and 2, this is a fuckin' HOST CLUB!

Instantly I started feeling behind me trying to find the door handle so I could escape back to normality (Well the world on the other side of the door anyway.)

"Wow. It's a commoner." Two voices said together but of course I didn't pay attention, I was too busy trying to find the door handle behind me. (Although with my back to the door that was proving to be harder than it seemed. I was only vaguely aware of another person talking as well "Hikaru, Karou. I believe this person is in the same class as you, isn't he?"

The two voices from before spoke in unison again. "Yeh but he's shy."

He! That caught my attention. I stopped fumbling with the handle and quickly turned to face the door, I tried the handle yet again but for some reason it refused to open.

Shit!

"He seems rather sociably inept so we don't know much about him"

'He, Him?.' God, how stupid are these people. Can these idiots not see I'm a girl. I mean...

...Oh wait. On second thought, it's probably my fault that they don't recognise me as a girl. Given the fact that I always bind my chest with bandages and I'm wearing baggy clothes. But even so. If you actually look at me, you should be able to tell I'm a girl.'

I thought for a moment. 'Oh fuck it!, I just want to get the Hell out of here.'

I fumbled with the handle again, which still wouldn't budge.

One of the voices from earlier resumed talking, obviously responding to the 2 previous voices.

"Oh, that wasn't very polite." His tone then changed and was now directed at me "Welcome to the Ouran host club, Mr. honor student."

"What?" A third/forth curious voice announced "You must be Hisoka Matsumei, You're the exceptional honor student we've heard about."

'They know about me?' I stopped fumbling with the handle and turned to face them.

"Just how exactly do you know my name?"

A black haired boy with glasses answered my question." Why, you're infamous."

'I am?'

'How?'

"It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our academy."

'Oh, thats how!"

You must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as an honor student, Mr. Matsumei."

'For Gods sake I'm a ...Oh nevermind.' I thought, thinking what next to say to that statement, but then I noticed something.

'Wasn't there a blonde guy sitting in that chair?...Oh nevermind, back to responding.'

"Well I...uh...thank you...I guess." I told him in a confused sort of way.

"You're welcome!"

A hand was suddenly placed on my shoulder causing me to flich, and soon enough the rest of an arm soon followed it until a whole arm was resting on me.

I looked up to see the blond guy that had been sitting in the chair a moment ago now leaning on me.
"You are a hero to other poor people, Matsumei. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy.

'Oh come on!' I thought and started side-stepping away, unfotunatly for me however, he just followed me.

"It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others."

"Dear God!" I murmered, trying not to lose it, I continued side-stepping my way to the door "I think you're taking this poor thing abit too far."

The boy followed me back to the door, either not hearing what I had said or ignoring it completly and continued rambling.

"Spurned, neglected. But that doesn't matter now. Long live the poor!"

He put his arms around me, casuing me to tense up slightly, and I noticed that on closer inspection his eyes were violet, which is actually quite pretty.

He closed them and did some strange dramatic thing with his arms, "We welcome you, poor man, to our world of beauty!

I turned around and began to walk towards the door, offically done with this madness.

"Screw this!" I muttered "I'm outta here."

I was almost at the door when I was pulled back suddenly and heard and exited voice call out.

"Hey. Come back here Hiso-chan! You must be like a superhero or something. Thats so cool."

A short but rediciously cute boy with blond har and light brown eyes had pulled me back and was smiling at me. "Thats so cool!" He hold me but I was more focused on not punching this boy for grabbing me.

"I'm no hero, I'm a Honor student." I told him to try and distract myself.

Realilisation!

"And who the Hell are ya callin' Hiso-chan?" I yelled at him angrily. There were only a select few that could get away with calling me 'Hiso-chan.'

The boy began crying and ran away towards an incredibly tall boy with spiky black hair who was holding a bunny out to him, I instantly felt pretty bad.

The taller blonde appeared suddenly with his hand to his forehead wearing a confused?disappointed expression. "I never would have imagined..." He drawled "...that the famous scholar would be so openly gay!"

'Openly what?' I asked myself fighting the urge not to facepalm.

"So tell me what knid of guys your into." The tall blonde continued brightly,

"The strong silent type?"

He gestured to the tall boy with black spikey hair, grey eyes and an emotionless face.

"The boy lolita?"

I saw the short boy that had grabbed me earlier stop crying and glanced up at me with tears in his eyes. He looked so damn cute. He was now holding a pink bunny with him.

"How about the mishievious type?"

The two identical twins from my class with redish orange hair, golden eyes and wearing devilish grins turned round and faced me with their right arms interlocked and their backs facing one another.

"Or the cool type?"

My gaze focused on the boy with black hair and glasses, to me it seemed like his eyes were calculating everything around him. Even though that was my first thought about him, so far I would have to go with him.

'What can I say. i have a thing for guys with black hair!'

"I..uh..." I faltered, then logic caught up with me. 'Wait! I can't say that. I refuse to say any of them, (No matter how good looking they are).

"It's not like that." I told the violet eyed blond, "I was looking for a quite place to study. Thats all."

I began walking away from himbut he moved forward and placed his fingers underneeth my chin. I fought the natural urge to tense up at the contact.

"Or maybe..." He said, bringing my face close to his "Your into a guy like me. What do you say?"

In my opinion he said that last part abit seductively but what really threw me was he used one of his fingers to stroke me twice under my chin. I fear physical contact so at that point I couldn't take it any more I jumped backwards trying to get away from him when I hit something.

I turned and saw a fancy blue vase begin to fall back. I reached out to grab it, my fingers lightly touching it before it smashed into hundreds of different pieces. At that moment I knew, when that vase smashed so did my chance and hope of ever getting out of this place alive.

"Huh...uh...uh..." I stammered quietly hearing two people, I guessed the twins come up behind me.

"Awww." They said together.

"We were going to future that Renaissance vase in an upcoming school auction." One of them said. The other one spoke directly after "Oh now you've done it commoner the bidding on that vase was supposed to start at 8 million yen."

WTF! Now I'm screwed

"Damn it!" I exclaimed "8 million yen!" I foolishly now tried to simplify that. "How many thousands is that." How many thousands are in a million anyway, I think remembering that will help.

I turned to face the twins defeated "I guess that I'm gonna somehow have to pay you all back."

"With what money?" They said in unison looking at each other raising their arms in question "You can't even pay for a school uniform."

OK, Screw previous comment NOW I'm no longer screwed. I'm defeated.

"What's with that grubby old outfit your wearing anyway?" One asked. "And whats with all the black?" The other questioned

Hey! I thought. I like black and it doesn't look that bad. I was wearing black baggy jeans and a long sleeved baggy black shirt with a grey unfastened waistcoat hanging off my shoulders.

I heard someone pick up a piece of the vase and the voice whom I remembered belonged to the boy with the glasses said "Well, Tamaki what do you think we should do?"

He was obviously talking to the eccentric blonde because the boy Tamaki sat down in the chair he had previously occupied and with a sudden change in attitude said to me "There's a famous saying you may of heard of Matsumei." He closed his eyes and pointed at me "When in Rome do as the romans do." He pointed at me again "since you have no money you can pay with you body." Again he pointed at me That means starting today..." Tamaki opened his violet eyes "...Your the host clubs dog."

I froze.

There's no way. I can't do this, I can't be a host clubs dog. This is unjust. This is unfair. This is...

My Punishment.

After a few moments the host club surrounded themselves around me as i stood frozen. The twins leaning in to get a closer look at me, Tamaki waving his hand in front of my face and the cute short boy leaned in too and poked me twice in the side whilst saying "Poke, Poke!"

At that point I couldn't take it anymore, anything anymore and collapsed. I woke up a while later to find out unfortunately that everything had not been a dream.

Damn them all to hell. I hate this. The host club I was forced into servitude for had woken me up after I collapsed and much to my disappointment I hadn't dreamed up meeting the host club, and I hadn't dreamed up breaking that vase and that I was now the host clubs dog/errand boy. Uh Fuck!

After listening to Tamaki go on about the host club for a few minutes I was then sent out to buy coffee and some other small things from the store, but i made such I walked back to the host club as slowly as humanly possible.

When I got back I walked into the club room to find the host club open for business and I was extremely glad they were no longer paying attention to me.

"Speak of the devil." I heard Tamaki say as I walked into a main part of the club room carrying a brown paper bag. Were they talking about me, I wondered.

"Thanks for doing the shopping, little piglet." Tamaki said to me smiling "Did you get everything on our list."

Oh Fuck they are! I thought Wait what did he just call me?

Piglet?

He made me bring the shopping over to him and he started looking at everything I bought. Everything seemed to be in order so I turned to leave instantly stopping when i heard him speak again.

"Hey!" He exclaimed "Wait a minute. What is this?"

I looked at what he was talking about and my instant thought was 'fuckin' hell is this guy a freakin' moron.' I knew of course I would regret saying that so I decided to be polite...ish.

"All that it looks like." I told him plainly "It's coffee."

"I've never seen this brand before." Tamaki announced "Is this the kind that's already ground?"

"What do you mean?" I voiced "It's instant coffee."

The girls that were facing Tamaki and I on the other side of the coffee table turned their heads to the side in confusion and said "It's instant?"

"Woah!" Tamaki exclaimed leaning forward to look even more intently at the coffee. "I've heard of this before. Its commoners coffee!"

'Really. Thats what they call instant coffee." I thought "Anyway, it's just coffee. Why is everyone acting like its such a big deal?'

"You just add hot water." Tamaki continued and very soon a crowd began forming behind Tamaki and myself.

"I didn't know there was such a thing." Another one of the girls admitted.

"So its true then..." the girl sitting next to her continued "poor people don't even have enough free time to grind their own coffee beans."

All the girls behind the seat other side of the table nodded in agreement, all the while i just got more and more adjitated.

"Commoners are pretty smart." The glasses guy said appearing suddenly behind me along with the twins and more girls. The twins of course spoke next one at a time, while I had no idea which one was which but then I caught on with what they were saying "100 grams for 300 yen?"
"That's a lot less than we normally pay."

"Excuse me, I'll get somethin' else" I murmured getting the feeling that they were being rude for the simple reason of they were rich and i always think the worst of people. "Sorry for getting you'll top notch coffee."

"No I'll keep it." Tamaki interrupted putting his arm in the air like he was trying to stop me going anywhere. Glasses guy leaned backwards just in time to avoid Tamaki standing up suddenly with the coffee raised in the air like it was something special. "I'm going to give it a try. I will drink this coffee!" At those words almost everyone around began clapping while Tamaki acted like he had just won a competition or something before wondering off telling me to come and make some of the blasted coffee.

Damn all these stuck up fuckin' rich Basterd's.

"Oh Tamaki." I girl with long red hair mused gently setting down a tea cup "Now you're taking the joke too far. Your palate won't be able to stomach that crap. You don't have to drink it just because he bought it."
She looked at me smiling "I'm sorry. I was talking to myself."

Like hell you were. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Tamaki calling me over.

"Hisoka!"

"Hold your bloomin' horses I'm comin'." I muttered darkly.

Within minutes I had made 4 cups of instant coffee placed it on a try and was holding it out to the girls surrounding the 'demonstration' table.

"Here you all go." I told them and hesitantly 4 girls took the cups. I couldn't tell whether they were hesitant because of me or if they were scared to go near the coffee. Hopefully it was both.

"Let the tasting begin." Tamaki announced eagerly and the girls looked sacredly into their cups. "I'm a little scared to drink this stuff." One of them voiced and I almost smirked, the girl was scared of coffee.
"I'm afraid if I drink this, my father will yell at me." Another admitted.

'How fuckin' stupid!

And que Tamaki acting like an idiot about now.'

"What if I let you drink it from my mouth?" He suggested to the girl holding her face so close to his I thought they might kiss.

"Oh well then, I would drink it." The girl replied in an almost dreamlike voice and all the girl around minus me started squealing like there was no tomorrow.

'Oh god kill me now!'

'What the hell is up with them?. And why are the guests so exited over something that sick. '

I thought as I passed the two red haired twins (who names I had learn't to be Hikaru and Karou) which were currently holding each other so close to one another I thought they would kiss (I seemed to be thinking that about alot of people today). I sighed placed the tray down and moved some hair out of the way which had fallen in my face whilst checking that my eye patch hadn't moved.

'Yes I wear and eye patch!' (AN: All will be revealed in good time my readers)

I gazed at the blonde loli boy that had called me 'Hiso-chan' earlier (I now knew as Hunni) as he rubbed his eyes whilst speaking in a sleepy state with the emotionless black haired guy (more commonly known as Mori. I very rarely use honorifics and wasn't willing to start now.)sitting opposite him and their guests.

As cute as Hunni is he can't be as old as everyone says he is.

"Is he really a 3rd year. He's too much like my kid sister to be." I murmured quietly to myself unaware that someone was listening to me.

Until they announced themselves of course.

"Honey Senpai may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy." I turned to see glasses guy beside me (I can't remember his name :( I feel pretty bad considering how good looking he is.)
"And then Mori Senpai's allure is his strong and silent disposition." He filled me in, I smiled and quickly responded.

"It works really well with such a strong contrast between the two." It did so I felt the need to admit it.

"I'm glad you think so." He mused, but before I could respond I I was assaulted from the side and next thing I knew Hunni was spinning me around by my arm calling out 'Hiso-chan'. By the time he stopped moving I had frozen because that pretty much happens every time i'm touched or anything through any form of physical contact.

"Hey Hiso-chan, do you wanna go have some cake with me?" he asked excitedly then waited for an answer. I didn't give one. I couldn't give one.

I think I should make something perfectly clear whenever someone touches me suddenly or touches me in general I freeze, tense up whatever the hell you wanna say. Or I get into a fighting stance and kick the ass of who-ever touched me. That doesn't happen too often though. It is all to do with some things that happened to me several years ago and I am not going to explain right now what they are, same with why I wear and eye patch and can't see from my left side. (AN: All in good time readers) So if your wondering why none of the hosts are dead yet I tried very hard earlier not to attack them when they approached me suddenly, and what do you know, they are all still alive.

Crap kind of getting off track here...and back to topic. I had to wait for my brain to register that Hunni wouldn't harm me before I could move. Or even respond. Sometimes I stopped breathing for a second or so.

Do you wanna go have some cake with me?

Oh!

I looked down at him still unable to respond, even when he looked up at me in slight worry.

"Hiso-chan are you ok. Did I hurt you?" He asked and I could hear slight sadness and concern in his voice.

"Yes Hisoka, are you okay?" Glasses guy asked and I could hear slight worry in his voice aswell (No matter how much he tried to hide it.)

Eventually I was able to move again. It was a relief to me and I think to the others as well. I might have spooked them slightly. I kneeled down until I was at Hunni's height and looking at him in the eyes. A smile spread across his face when he saw I was moving properly again.

"Hunni." I told him quietly and he listened intently to what I was saying, which I thought to be quite cute. "I am sorry for what just happened it is not your fault I froze. But can I ask you something?" He nodded when I told him this and I continued "Can you please not grab me like that again, Over the years it has become a physiological response for me to tense up when i am touched and I don't respond for a few moments when I'm touched suddenly or grabbed. Do you understand?" I asked and he replied quietly seeming sad.(I believe I have a small weakness for this boy.)

"So did I hurt you when I jumped on you?"

"Oh no..." I said to him softly, "...You didn't hurt me at all. I just don't take too kindly to being touched." Instantly he seemed to brighten up. "Can you please not jump me again at least not without warning?"

Hunni nodded in understanding and I tried to at least sound a bit more cheerful "And in answer to your first question I would love to have some cake with you." Hunni's smile stretched from ear to ear in response to my answer.

"Yay!" He cheered and pulled his pink bunny out from behind him. "How about until I get it you hold Usa-Chan?" He held the bunny up to my face and I almost felt myself melt at how cute he and his bunny were. "Sure I will." I replied to him "I love him already. he's cute." If possible Hunni's smile got even larger "Meaning he suits you perfectly!" I told him this with a smile, He started laughing and ran off but not before calling back to me.

"Take good care of him, okay?"

Hunni got back to his guests and started rolling around in one girls lap. I got the feeling he had forgotten about getting cake (unfortunately, I love cake), but those thoughts were pushed aside when glasses boy started speaking again.

"You'll notice..." He informed me "...that our club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests."

"Just so you know." He said when I glanced at Tamaki smiling at a laughing guest "Tamaki is No.1 around here. He is the king. His request rate is 70%."

"Your fuckin' screwin' wi' me right."

"I wouldn't recommend using that language around here, Hisoka. Many of our guests might not like it. I know that Tamaki over reacts when he hears any kind of swearing or cursing. Or slang as you tend to speak in, so just to be on the safe side maybe you should think before you speak." He said to me in a scolding sort of way.

"I did think before I spoke." I muttered "Believe me I can say much worse if I want. I've had plenty of practice. Besides I can't change the way I've spoken for near on 16 years now can I?"

"That may be so, but in order for you to pay off your 8 million yen debt with us, you will act as the Ouran host club's dog until you graduate so you may want to try and stop."

Glasses boy paused for a moment and faced me smiling "I'm sorry, I meant our errand boy." I could hear the amusement in his voice but of course he didn't stop there. "You can try to run away if you want to, Hisoka, but just so you know, my family employs a private police force of 100 officers."

'Oh I get the feeling he's goin' love tryin' ta intimidate me while i'm 'ere.'

"By the way..." He asked me in an amused voice, pushing his glasses up his nose. "...do you have a passport?"

I thought about this quickly. I did but I hadn't used it in years so the thing was probably in one of my many folders of stuff in my room.

"Somewhe..." I started to say but froze when someone blew on the back of my neck. I guessed it was Tamaki and was proven right when I heard him speak.

"You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerd."

"Tamaki, I wouldn't do that again if you don't want a punch in the face." Glasses said to the blonde behind me who made a confused sort of noise. "Why ever not Kyoya?" He asked sounding both curious and confused.

'Kyoya!' I thought, suddenly remembering the guys name. I still couldn't move, so I wasn't doin' very well here.

Kyoya sighed and opened a black notebook that he had with him muttering the words "Never mind."

"You know.." Tamaki said to me in an observing tone of voice "...You need a makeover, or no girl's going to look twice at you."

I almost deadpanned.

"Why the hell would I want girls ta look at me anyway. Its not like it's important. Especially not ta me."

'It wasn't important to me at all. I don't care about appearances and stuff at all, even as a girl. There's no hope in hell that I would try to get girls to look at me.' But I guess these guys haven't figured that out yet.

"What!" he replied in an unnessarly dramatic tone "Are you kidding me? That's the most important thing. You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the ladies like me." Some how he pulled a rose out of no-where.

"I don't see how it is important at all. I don't see the point in caring about appearances and labels anyway, I don't really gain anything from it so it doesn't interest me too much. I mean as long as someones a person is good on the inside that all that should matter, So I do but I don't understand why you even have a host club like this." I told him and he seemed surprised by my response but got over it soon enough and began to drawl on about something. I didn't really pay attention after complimenting himself I went to trying to think up a word to describe this guy perfectly, so I was only half paying attention to what he was saying.

"Oh I remember it now!" I exclaimed, but rather peeved that it took me so long to remember one bloody word.

"Oh, did I strike a chord with you?" He asked from the side of me.

"Obnoxious!" I stated and with a second Tamaki had for some reason decided to curl in what I Cresson now the corner of despair (AN: I may start referring to it as 'Tamaki's pity corner' or 'Mushroom corner' later in the story.)

I heard laughing and froze yet again when I felt two hands on my head. I'm going to assume they belong to the twins.

"You're a hero, all right." One of them told me and they laughed again.

'What a fuckin' blasted idiot.'

"I'm sorry Tamaki." I managed to get out to him, seeing as I could hardly speak right now, not sorry in the slightest. "But your lesson did strike a small chord with me." I lied trying to get on his good side.

"Really? It did?" He said happily standing up. "Let me teach you more, my friend." Tamaki extended his hand to me as if I was supposed to take it and petals flew around him.

'Is this guy bipolar, He sure as hell got over that quickly'. I thought but thankfully no-one seemed to be able to read my mind.

"Boss." One of the twins said only to be corrected by Tamaki telling them to call him 'King'. "You can teach him all the basics of hosting."

The other one move their hand off my head and moved infront of me, but I didn't really pay attention to what they were saying but I did get one part.

"...You know he's not exactly host club material, but maybe if we moved his hair out of his eyes, it'd help."

Hikaru the twin grabbed my fringe and pushed it out of my eyes, his eyes widening at either at the weirdness of my silver eye or out of curiosity and shock about my black eye patch that covered my left eye. I'm kind of guessing both. Kaoru did the same when he saw my face properly.

'Damn them, I keep Freezing!'

Tamaki arrived and pushed both twins out the way, After a moment he became strangely serious.

"Hikaru, Kaoru." He commanded and the twins lifted me up and began to drag me out of the room. While I fought against them the whole time, before being fully taken out the room and yet proud that before we had even moved too far I had managed to kick one twin in the stomach during this kidnapping and punch the other in the face.

"Here." the twins said holding a spare of the Ouran school uniform to me. "Change into this Uniform."

"What the hell, Why?" I asked but they just responded but telling me not to ask questions and trying to get me to change.

"Kay." I sighed "But only if ya'll get out first."

Their response was them jumping towards me chanting "Change! Change! Change!." Having Enough of this, and before they managed to touch me I kicked them out of the changing room and they went flying.

"Sorry!" I called out to them "You did ask for it!" I told them laughing "Listen to me next time." Still laughing I turned to the uniform and groaned. 'Do I have to?'

"Well." I said to myself "If they want me to dress like a boy the I guess that these bandages will have ta be wrapped even tighter around my body.

"Uh Guys." I said softly not willing to move or dawn the curtain. I had already had one hell of a day and some how I knew that if I moved this curtain than it would get even stranger. I gripped the edge of the curtain harder not willing to move until at least I had to. My moved my long fringe partly infront of my eyepatch again, It had been pushed back when the stylist had been called (for reasons I had yet to discover) and assaulted my hair. they even tried to cut it (My hair reaches my waist when it isn't hidden . Because of that the hair stylist nearly went home with a black eye.

I smirked at the thought.

"Aren't you done changing yet, Hisoka?" Tamaki asked me and I sighed knowing I couldn't hide in here any longer .

"Yeh." I told him peaking shyly out from behind the curtain "And are you sure I can keep this uniform?" I stepped out from behind the curtain slowly and waited for their reactions.

Kyoya POV

I have to admit even I was highly impressed by Hisoka's change. The messy, scruffy girl from earlier was replaced by a real beauty now.

Her baggy black clothes from earlier had been replaced by the neat quality Ouran uniform and her hair which had been pushed down her collar before was flowing around her lithe but slender frame. Hisoka had one eye covered in a black eye patch the color it was to which I assume is to blend in with her hair, but the other you could see clearly. Exposed and shining silver.

Her coloring was strange but strangely hypnotizing and beautiful. She reminded me of the moon in a way. Un-naturally pale skin and one visible silver eye framed by mid-night black. She really was a sight and I wondered just how much longer it would take everyone else to figure out she was a girl. It was clear to me that she had wrapped her chest with something tightly and rather well to hide her figure but if you had a keen eye like me or just looked very closely than you could see what I think must be a highly curvy feminine body.

It would be interesting to see if she could pass as a boy, although she would have to cut her hair or wear a wig for it to work but even so.

I mean she looks so feminine at this moment that I'm surprised no-one seems to have noticed this. Are they blind? I mean what guy in his right mind has hair that long.

After waiting for I moment or so I casually slipped in a comment that may or may not change Hisoka's life now.

"Who knows..." I mused "...maybe he'll draw in some customers."

That should do it. Now to see how this all plays out.

Hisoka POV

"You know.." I heard Tamaki respond to Kyoya's comment (Damn him, He planned that didn't he?) "..that's just what I was thinking."

'Bullshit!'

"Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. Starting today, you are an official member of the host club."

'Oh no!'

"I will personally train you to be a first-rate host."

'Like fuck I'll let you!'

"If you can get 100 customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your 8 million yen debt." Tamaki told me and I had to admit as much as I may not like it, I liked this idea more than being the host clubs dog until I graduated.

"A host?" I asked and everyone nodded "Okay then, lets do this!"

'What the fuck was I thinking? I have no idea how i'm supposed to answer these sorts of questions to rich kids.'

"So, tell me, Hisoka.
Do you have any hobbies?
What do you like to do?" A girl asked and I blanked until suddenly in unison all the girls asked me. "So why did you join the host club, Hisoka?"

"Relax, relax. All I have to do is get 100 customers to request me and they'll forget about my 8 million yen debt. Just smile drop a compliment here and there and keep them entertained. I guess I know what to do now.

"So your telling me my smile reminds you of your little sister when she's dreaming?." One girl asked quietly and I nodded.

"Yeh. I can almost see your worries floating away in a river of happiness when you smile." I gave them a shy smile as I said this (Talk about cheesy lines...But at least they buy it.)"It's like your smile sets sail a ship, to sail along the clouds completely overcasting all the darkness that tries to grab it and sink it into the abyss below." I smiled even more as I continued trying to make up for that slightly dark bit, but thankfully they didn't seem to notice. "That's the kind of feeling I get when I see her smile, and I feel it now when I see you smile aswell." All the girls faces brightened so I just decided to finish and see how it went "It makes me want to escape to my dream world in the clouds with you ladies and never return."

I know that my face showed a dreamy expression right know but who gives a damn?

I looked at the girls each in turn before fighting the urge to cover my ears. As the squealed at how much they love me when I dream. Well I am a dreamer, and I have quite an imagination.

"So... uh...is it okay if tomorrow..." One girl started and another finished "...we request to sit with you again?"

I nodded and laced my fingers together, something I occasionally did when I was waiting for a result or something "You have no idea how much that would mean to me..." I whispered softly to them "...and as a thanks for your requests I will personally make sure to visit each of you in your dreams tonight, just as I know you all will visit mine." At this they all laughed and in truth I actually found myself enjoying hosting, the girls saying that they loved the fact that I was a dreamer. I was enjoying myself until...

"Hisoka, come here for a minute."

I almost groaned. What the hell does Tamaki want now.

I stood up and excused myself from the ladies but not before adjusting my wig (Did I mention I was wearing a black wig. It was sort of like the twins hair...OK not really, but abit longer and more tousled. Of course with a long side fringe to cover eyepatch. I wouldn't allow anything else.) and walking over to were Tamaki was hosting some girls.

"Hey, Whats up now?" I asked him trying to sound polite. Only trying because I was still in a good mood from hosting MY guests.

"I'd like you to meet someone." he told me smoothly gesturing to the girl sitting to his left, "This is my regular guest..." He informed me "...princess Ayanokoji."

I looked at her and my bad mood almost disappeared (keyword being 'Almost')

'It's that stuck up bitch from earlier.'

I relised I had paused so just reverted to a trick I learn't from a friend and her crazy dad, the tick being 'Just smile and continue.' So thats what I did closing my eyes for greater effect. Apparently Tamaki loved it, so much he stood up grabbed me and started spinning me in a circle. Me of course freezing up at the sudden contact.

"That was so good!" he cried happily "That air of bashfulness was very good!, Super good, amazingly good!"

"Oh, Tamaki." Ayanokoji said trying to interrupt him but as usual he wasn't paying any attention.

"Oh you're so cute!" He told me still spinning me. I saw Hunni whisper something to Mori and the next thing I knew I was being lifted out of Tamaki's arms. I looked to find Mori as my dark haired savior who within a moment placed me on the ground. It was obvious that Hunni had told him about how I react to physical contact. I looked to Hunni smiled and winked at him, he did the same back but with a laugh.

I looked up to Mori and saw he was looking at me slightly differently than before. Then it hit me. When he lifted me he must have noticed I'm a girl, he would have felt it.

"Thank you Mori." I said to him brightly "I don't think I would have lasted much longer." I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment but felt much better when I actually heard a reply.

"No problem." I smiled at him and he began to walk back over to his guests leaving me to fend off Tamaki myself.

"What do you mean you don't think you would have lasted much longer?" He questioned me but didn't give me time to answer "Oh, Come on little one." He continued "Let daddy give you a big hug."

I laughed trying to ignore the 'daddy' part and ran away from him but not before noticing the dark look on Ayanokoji's face directed right at me. I may not know much about her but I knew deep in my heart, something was going to happen because of her that would affect me badly very soon.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!, Where the hell's my bag?"

I looked out the window and sighed at the sight that awaited me. 'Your screwin' wi' me right?, I guess someone has it out for me already.'

My black messenger bag was lying in the pond open with the whole contents littered around it, like guts spilling out of an animal in a dissection experiment.

I sighed again. I was doing this alot and began running after a few moments passing the Ayanokoji bitch (I am calling her the bitch from now on) who spoke to me as I passed making me stop suddenly a few feet away from her.

"Oh, it's you again." She mused "I bet you love having Tamaki making you over and fawning over you."

"No. I really don't!" I told her but she continued as if she hadn't heard me

"It's useless, though. You're always going to be a second class citizen." She walked off after that and I fought off another sigh.

How stupid. A girl with anything she could ask for getting jealous over me. A commoner as they call me because the guy she has a crush on is giving someone (me at this moment in time) more attention than her for once. Like I said 'how stupid'.

I walked off not caring about anything but getting to my bag and saving the sketchbook and jotters that I kept close to my heart that had been in there.

'That Bitch. She's the one that threw my things in the pond. There's no doubt.' I told myself whilst wading through the pond water that was only up to my ankles. So far I had managed to salvage everything that had fallen and save what was damaged.'

'I thank every god I can think of that my sketchbook just missed the water and was lying at the edge of the pond virtually undamaged. My notepad on the other hand, lets just say I'm glad I wrote everything in waterproof pencil so the pages will dry and the content will stay as it should. All in all everything could have ended much worse...'

"Hisoka Matsumei!, You've sure have some nerve, to skip out on the club like that."

'Crap!'

I turned, well jumped around and quickly got into my fighting stance, ready to attack but lowered it when I saw Kyoya standing by the edge of the pond.

"I'm sorry." I told him sarcastically "I had some business to take care of." I gestured to my soaked things lying at the edge of the pond, which he happend to be standing next to. He stole a quick glance at them and faced me again.

"So what happened then?" He asked coolly gazing at me, clearly ignoring my sarcasm and rude comments. It made me feel kind of bad, I had been having a good time earlier until Tamaki called me away from my guests. I sighed yet again and gazed down into the water keeping my eyes open for what I was searching for.

"My bag was thrown in the pond as you can clearly see." I stated and he smirked.

"I can see that."

This was the point that because of those words I had an idea based off one of my favourite movies (If you can guess which one than give yourself a cookie). I felt he had been asking for it.

'Lets see if Kyoya's willing to play my game.'

"I know." I stated and couldn't stop the smirk that spread across my face as I looked at him. I was about to try and unload V's introductucary speech from the movie V for vendetta upon Kyoya. Provided he didn't stop me first. "I'm not questioning your powers of observation..." 'Damn' I'd have to change something here to make it make sense. "...I'm simply remarking upon you asking something that is painfully obvious."

'God that sounded better in my mind.'

"And why are you doing so?" He asked, sounding curious about my change in my way of speaking. (AN: Please don't judge me too much, trying to word this to fit what I want and the setting is hard. I will make it obvious what parts were changed.)

"Because on this most auspicious of afternoons permit me then in lure of the more commonplace soubriquet to suggest..."

"What are you doing?" Kyoya asked me and I began to laugh.

"You just ruined it." I told him brushing a strand of hair out from infront of my right eye. "I was about to unload V's introductucary speech upon you, with changes of course but you interrupted so there's no point now."

"V's introductory speech?" He quizzed looking at me and I facepalmed leaving my forehead rather painful.

"From V for vendetta." I told him and he shrugged.

"Never heard of it."

I froze for a moment but for once it wasn't from contact. 'Never once heard of one of the best movies in existence. God in a way rich kids had it worse than we did.'

"Not once at all?"

He shook his head and I sighed. "You should watch it, it's one of the best movies I've ever se..."

I stopped when I saw a silver glint in the water and relised something. My locket. I didn't remember picking it out.

"Why did you stop Hisoka?" Kyoya asked me but his words fell on deaf ears as I instantly began to scramble for the necklace.

"What are you looking for?" He asked me and reclaiming what had gone missing I stood properly up suddenly.

"My locket!" I announced with what I guessed to be a rather sadistic grin etched onto my face. "I almost lost it. It's one of the only things I have left from my dad before he was killed."

My grin faded when I realized what I had said. "Please forget you heard that." I cried out desperately to Kyoya who was looking at me in a sad sort of way, almost like he was pitying me. I refused to be pitied.

"I can't forget I heard that." He said back and I could hear something in his voice but I couldn't quite place what it was. I tensed questioning what he would say next. "However." He continued and I listened more intently "I can make sure that I don't tell anyone else that piece of information." I let my body relax in relief "...As long as you head back to the club now, I won't tell anyone."

'He really is the devil isn't he? But for some reason I find that rather sexy...Wait...What the hell am I thinking?'

I walked to the edge of the pond and stepped out and placed my sodden things minus my sketchbook into my bag before pulling my trousers all the way down to my ankles again. and putting my shoes on. I picked my bag up and smiled at Kyoya.

"So you were sent to get me?" I asked as we walked back to the club room.

"Yes." He replied simply but then carried on from there "You have customers that have requested you so if you want to pay back your debt than you'll have to work hard."

I nodded at this but it seemed that Kyoya still hadn't finished yet "Your doing better than we thought you would for such a new host. You even have a host type that we decided on earlier." That caught my interest.

"Really. What is it?" I asked actually genuinely interested, adjusting the strap from my soaked bag which was currently resting on my shoulder.

He smirked before telling me what it is "Your host type was quite clearly the dreamer type."

"The dreamer type." I repeated and he nodded and I gave a small smile.

I liked it.

"Oh really!" The Bitch (Yeah guess who I'm talkin' ta.) laughed facing me "That must have been terrible. I can't imagine what I'd do if my bag fell into the pond."

'Probably go running to your parents crying until you got another better one.' I thought to myself, rather pissed that The Bitch had requested to speak with me despite how fuckin' obvious it was that she hated me.

"And you actually searched through that dirty old pond for everything. How astonishing." She grinning as she spoke next "I really don't get what Tamaki sees in you. You do realize he's a blue blood, not a commoner, right?
The only reason he's paying attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman." She rested her chin on her hands which were laced together before continuing "Don't start thinking he cares about you just because he's doting on you."

"I understand now." I told her sadly "Miss superiority complex doesn't like the fact that the boy she likes is showing any attention to a commoner like me, and that attention is being taken away from you."

"What do you mean 'superiority complex'?" She snarled at me with a change in attitude but quietly enough so that no-one else could hear her.

"A complex that I believe you may have developed through feeling inferior to someone and developing the latter complex to hide your own inferiority from yourself resulting in arrogance, acting like a snob or prick...in your case both." The look on her face at this moment was priceless. God I really wish i had a camera 'bout now. The Bitch looked ready to kill me. ;) might as well not stop now.

"You always put down others, judge others by appearance. Even yourself so you strive to look perfect and over all acting like a bitch."

Now she looked shocked. Probably shocked that I had the nerve ta talk ta her like I just had. I laughed in my mind. 'There's alot more where that came from Bitch. I didn't even use any bad language despite I how much I may have wanted to. Well might as well put the cherry on top of the cake.

I pulled out a small mirror from my bag which had mostly dried out and held it up to her face, she flinched and I sniggered (I really was showing some of my evil side today.)

"What are you doing now?" She asked me sounding nervous. I sighed and spoke in a matter of fact tone, with an almost undetectable hint of amusement.

"You like to judge people based on appearances right?" I asked her and grinned my sadistic grin when she didn't respond. Ayanokoji seemed rather scared of the grin. I didn't blame her, most people were. I played with a strand of the wig and looked at her before continuing "Well then answer me then. What do you see when you look in the mirror."

She gazed in the mirror slightly but didn't say anything and I laughed quietly. "Because all I see is a conceited bitch consumed with jealously because a commoner like me is takin' the boy she likes attention away from her. It is pathetic. So tell me if thats what I see...than what do you?"

I gazed at her and within a moment she grabbed my wrist causing me to freeze and pulled me into the table knocking it out the way and ontop of her.

"Ayahhh!

No, Hisoka, leave me alone!" She cried causing everyone in the rooms attention on to me and her. She just continued to yell out and as usual I couldn't move at the moment Nevermind speak to defend myself. While The Bitch's cries just got worse.
"Somebody, help! He just attacked me! Someone, do something! Teach this commoner a lesson!" I still couldn't move and I doubted that was going to change anytime soon. Not even when the twins dumped water all over myself and Ayanokoji.
"Why did you do that?" She demanded at the twins who were standing over us, not bothering to move after soaking us. Jugs still held in the air above us. Tamaki walked over to us and helped The Bitch us while I was left on the floor finally able to move again.
"Do something, Tamaki." She begged to Tamaki playing the helpless victim/bitch role while Tamaki moved a strand of her wet hair out of her face "Hisoka just assaulted me."

"I'm disappointed in you." He told her and Tamaki actually sounded disappointed "You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?"

"You don't know that." The Bitch denied instantly, making herself sound even more guilty. "Do you have any proof that I did?"

"You know, you're a beautiful girl." Tamaki told her raising her chin up with his hand. "But you aren't classy enough to be our guest, dear. If there's one thing I know, Hisoka is not that kind of a man."

I wasn't even going to get annoyed at Tamaki for calling me a guy this time considering what he was doing for me. I saw Kyoya watching the whole thing intently. I have a feeling he has something to do with this, I have to remember to ask him about this later. But back to watching the scene infront of me.

"But why, Tamaki?" She demanded starting to cry. It was all really pathetic. "You idiot!" She cried and ran out of the room, crying like a bitch the whole way.

"Hmm, now how am I going to punish you?" Tamaki quizzed looking at me.

'Punish Me!'

"Because it is your fault after all." Okay it kind of is. I was goading her. By only because she deserved it. After a few moments thinking Tamaki pointed at me exclaiming "Your quota is now one thousand!"

"One thousand?, What the hell" I muttered in disbelief.

"Come on." Tamaki said holding his hand out to help me up "I've got high expectations for you, my little rookie." He told me as I stood up winking at me as I did so.

"This is the only spare uniform we have." A red bag was held out to me, I turned to see Kyoya holding it out for me to take it. "Sorry," He said smirking at me "...but it's better than a wet one, right?"

'What the hell does he mean by...oh...the girls uniform. That Jackass.'

"Thanks Kyoya." I told him in a sarcastic voice, though I think he'd be the only one able to detect it "I'll go change. But in truth I'd rather wear the wet one." I muttered that last bit making sure he was the only one that would be able to hear it. I could swear I heard him chuckle quietly as I walked past him to the changing rooms.

I groaned as I peeled the wet fabric off my skin and dropped my shirt uncaringly onto the floor, then slowly unwrapped the bandages that were wrapped around my torso, finally letting my large breasts bounce free of their painful prison. Leaving me standing in my trousers and bra.

"God that feels so much better!"

Of course with my luck, by muttering that I didn't hear Tamaki enter with towels for me. I felt a presence behind me and what do you know he was standing there staring at me, or more obviously my breasts.

I felt heat rush to my face and chucked the nearest thing in reach at him which happened to be one of my shoes, hitting him in the Centre of his face, making him stumble backwards and out of the changing room.

I felt bad for it but at least 1, it got him out of the changing room and 2, he now knew I was a girl.

'Well this is about to get awkward.'

"So Hisoka...Your a girl." Tamaki stated, still in disbelief. The red show mark on his face still slightly visible. He was still highly embarrassed from walking in on me earlier. Upon his discovery he had called all the hosts together to announce what he had discovered, not knowing that everyone else already knew. (sucks to be him. :( Thats for sure.)

"Yeh." I shrugged causing him to flinch at my uncaring and blunt response "Biologically speaking, at least."

I stepped out of the changing room looking completely different now. My curves no longer hidden and could be seen clearly through this monstrosity of a uniform, The area around the bust was too tight but what could I do. (My breasts let me make this clear are larger than any girls I've ever met, for some unknown reason...but even so it meant that I got alot of unwanted stares from guys.) But moving on...

The wig now gone left my hair to cascade around my shoulders like a midnight waterfall, reaching my waist. Eye patch covering the most part of the left side of my face I didn't care what my hair did so my side fringe covered most of the eyepatch, hiding it mostly while I brushed some more hair from infront of my right eye. I gripped the curtain again while Tamaki did some sort of thing over-reacting at me dressed like a girl. I still gripped the curtain despite that they could see me as spoke to them.

"Yah know, I never really cared whether you guys recognized me as a boy or a girl." I told them playing with the horrible pink ribbon tied round me neck. "...Okay maybe a few times but that never really mattered to me at all. After all in my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what sex they are."

I glanced at each host in turn after I said this but my gaze lasted longer than anyone else when it hit Kyoya. He seemed to be saying something along the lines of 'this being an interesting development'. The prick (I believe he had this whole thing planned out, from the moment I walked through the club room doors. Damn him.)

"Oh Yeah." The twins agreed grinning at one another.

"Uh..." I said speaking to Tamaki, trying to stop him from clawing his face off from shock "You know. I have to say I thought you were pretty cool earlier."

Tamaki turned red when I said this and began backing away from me, which I thought was pretty annoying.

"You know..." I murmured turning away from them in thought. I then heard them all move to stand behind me. "Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad. I wonder how I can pull it off?"

I thought for a moment. "I've got it." I announced "Calling ya'll dude and bro might work if I try hard enough."

I didn't even bother waiting for a reaction I just laughed, at my own stupid idea.