Thorin survives the battle of five armies, but remains in a coma.
As Bilbo sits by his side in his room, the hobbit gets the idea to write a book about their adventures.
Searching for paper, ink and a feather to write with, he finds a red covered book. Looking into it, he sees it is Thorin's journal of their quest to Erebor.
Knowing that it isn't the right thing to do, but promising to read his own journal to the dwarf, Bilbo starts reading Thorin's journal.
Getting further into the journal, he discovers feelings of the dwarf towards him. Feelings he never believed to be possible.

Disclaimer: All work belongs to Tolkien.
Bagginshield. So if you don't ship, or don't like the ship. Don't read.
Spoileralert: May contain parts of the book/ Movie.

Enjoy reading.

Bilbo felt no pain, neither did he feel grieve or sorrow or any other emotion as he was sitting at the side of Thorin's bed.

He felt numb, like there was nothing left inside of him, like his heart had stopped feeling from the moment that damned orc had driven it's sword into Thorin's abdomen.

He remembered screaming as he saw the sword go in, he remembered how he had killed the orc in the few seconds of blind rage that had washed over him.

He remembered Thorin's dark blue eyes going wide out of shock as the dwarf seemed to realize what had happened, his hands grasping at the gaping wound, from which blood was pouring out way too quickly.

He remembered him collapsing onto the ground, his face already having an alarming greyish color, his lips turning blue and his gaze growing distant.

He remembered how the world had seemed to stop as he had fallen down onto his knees next to the deadly wounded king, how the noise of the ongoing battle hadn't reached his ears and the movements of the other warriors hadn't caught his eye.

He remembered closing his heart to everything on that moment, knowing that if he allowed himself to feel while bending over a dying Thorin, his hands fluttering over the bleeding wound helplessly, it would destroy him.

He remembered screaming for help, but by the time help had come, Thorin's eyelids had been closed and his respiration had gone weak.

He remembered thinking they were too late, thinking that Thorin would die and still not feeling anything at all as they carried their king away, bringing him into safety.

He hadn't been able to feel anything for weeks now, he didn't know how to let everything back in.

It was like he had turned off his emotions without having an idea about how to turn them back on and he honestly didn't know if he had to consider it a bad thing.

Simply because he didn't know if he could handle it when all the feelings he had been supposed to feel for weeks, would wash over him all at once.

So he just sat there, on the edge of Thorin's bed, were he had been sitting every day since the battle of five armies, watching the steadily rising and falling of his chest, waiting for him to finally wake up.

He had killed time by telling him stories of their quest to Erebor or by telling him things about the others of the company. He had told him how they were restoring Erebor to its former glory, he had told him about how they were doing the same with Dale and Lake town.

He had told him about every single thing that he could think off, even though it wasn't important or relevant, hoping Thorin could hear everything and would wake up.

Bilbo had been close to giving up hope when a new idea occurred on his mind, he wanted to write down their adventure and while writing it, he would tell every word to Thorin.

He had kept a journal, wherein he had written down almost everything that had happened on their way to the lonely mountains and he could use it as a leading wire to write the story.

He jumped off the bed to search for a feather, some ink and paper to write on, assuming he should be able to find it in Thorin's room.

As he was searching through the stuff on Thorin's shelves, filled with books and decorative things, he spotted a red covered book, a red covered book that he had seen before.

Taking it from the shelf, he remembered seeing Thorin with it a couple of times while they were on their way to Erebor.

The occasions he had seen him with it had been rare and the dwarf always had been discretely removed from the others while writing in it, but Bilbo had noticed it anyway.

Nevertheless he never had felt the urge to ask Thorin what he was writing down.

With the book in his hand, Bilbo walked back to the bed and sat down on it again.

Giving a short glance to the still unconscious dwarf before he opened it.

Journal of the quest to Erebor.

Reading these first few words, Bilbo quickly closed the journal again, his heart racing in his chest out of excitement, glancing over to the still unconscious dwarf one more time before his eyes got pulled back to the journal which he still was holding.

He couldn't possibly read it, that would be a serious violation of Thorin's privacy and if he ever found out, the dwarf would probably strangle him.

On the other hand, reading the story of their quest to Erebor out of another point of view, really would help him with writing his book.

Another good reason to read it was the fact that he was feeling something, he felt excited and even though it wasn't much and it still wasn't the way he was supposed to feel, but at least he felt something.

He opened the journal again, staring at the first six words Thorin had written down.

" I'm going to read your journal and in return I will read mine to you out loud.' Bilbo softly said, looking at the dwarf. " If you don't want me to read it, you better wake up right now."

He stared at Thorin for a few minutes, hoping his warning would have the desired effect and he would wake up.

When he hadn't moved or opened his eyes a few minutes later, Bilbo browsed to the next page and started reading.

I met Gandalf today, one of the greatest and wisest wizards that walk the earth.

We met in the prancing pony in Bree, pure by chance as far that I know.

I just wanted to start my diner as I noticed a man in the corner watching me, I looked around and saw another man in the opposite direction doing the same.

Both of them started to walk towards me, my hand was already on my sword, ready to defend myself if necessary.

That's when Gandalf sat down before me, the two men stopped dead in their track and went back to their seat.

To be honest, the wizard couldn't have chosen a better time to intervene and I was glad he had done so, since I didn't want to start a fight in a tavern full of innocent people.

He introduced himself to me as Gandalf the Grey, I told him I knew who he was.

Then he asked me what brought me to Bree, I answered him that I had heard word about my father being seen around Dunland and I was looking for him, but I found no sign of him.

This brought Gandalf to start talking about the Lonely mountains, which was taken from us by the dragon Smaug. He told me he had urged my father to march upon Erebor and take back the Lonely mountain the last time he saw him and now he wanted to say the same to me.

When I said that our meeting wasn't by chance, he confirmed it wasn't.

He told me the Lonely mountain troubled him, he was afraid sooner or later some dark minds would turn towards Erebor.

He also told me that he ran into some unsavory characters on his way here, from which one was carrying a message.

He showed it to me, then told me it was black speech and when I looked at him with unease he told me it was a promise of payment.

I asked him for what, he answered that it was for my head, someone wanted me dead.

Gandalf urged me to unite the army of dwarfs, he said I should summon a meeting between the seven dwarf families and demand they stand by their oath.

I told him they swore the oath to the one who wields the King's jewel, the Arkenstone. Which is the only thing what will unite them and unfortunately for us, the Arkenstone was stolen by Smaug.

He said he would help me, I asked him how he would do that, since the King's jewel was buried underneath the feet of a fire breathing dragon.

He told me we would need a burglar and he said he knew just the perfect person to do the job.

He didn't give me much more information though, he didn't want to tell me who he was going to ask to be our burglar.

Nevertheless, by the time we had finished our dinner, we agreed on marching upon Erebor.

Now we only had to find volunteers to come with us and until this very moment, it's a task I can't easily complete.

" Gandalf had been planning this all along." Bilbo said, more to himself then to Thorin. " He already knew he was going to pull me into this adventure. I was chanceless from the moment he started to talk about taking a burglar."

He glanced over at the king, who was still deep asleep. " Well, I promised to read my journal to you, although I doubt you can hear it. But I'll give it a try anyway. Let me tell you how I met Gandalf the Grey."

A very peculiar thing happened to me today.

This morning, when I was smoking my pipe and enjoying the nice weather on the bench in my garden, a strange figure , wearing a grey cape and a grey, pointed hat walked by.

" Good morning" I said, on which he stopped and looked at me from under his long bushy eyebrows.

He asked me what I meant with that sentence, if I wished him a good morning, or if I meant that it was a good morning whether he liked it or not, or that I felt good that morning, or that it was a morning to feel good on.

He got me confused , pointing out to me in how many ways a simple good morning could be understood.

I eventually told him I meant all of them at once.

He kept staring at me, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable so I decided to ask him if I could help him with something, that's when he told me he was searching for someone to share in an adventure.

It startled me, how could this weird old man think he would find someone who would like to go on an adventure in the Shire?

Hobbits don't like adventures, they think about them as nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things, which make you late for dinner.

I told him this, then I got up to collect my mail from the mailbox and started back for the door.

Then he said something what made me turn around again in surprise.

I quote: " To think I that I should have lived to be good- morninged by Belladonna Took's son , as if I was selling buttons at the door!"

" Beg your pardon?' I asked, still startled by the mentioning of my mother's name by this peculiar fellow.

He told me that I had changed, and not entirely for the better, on which I asked him if I knew him, since I still had no idea about who he was.

He said that I knew his name, although I didn't remember it, then introduced himself as Gandalf.

Hearing that name I suddenly knew who he was, it was Gandalf the wandering wizard, who made such excellent fireworks. I remember old Took having them at Midsummer's Eve.

I told him about the fireworks, I also told him I didn't know he was still in business, on which he asked me where else he should be.

I had no answer to that, but he didn't seem to mind, he said he was pleased that I remembered something about him, even if it was only his fireworks.

Then he nodded, more to himself then to me and said: " Well, that's decided. It'll be very good for you, and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others."

I almost got hysterical at that point, I asked him who he was going to inform, then said no.

I didn't want to go on an adventure, and he wasn't going to drag me into it, over my cold dead body.

Quickly I walked to the door, then I turned again to tell him we didn't want any adventures here.

I told him he should try over the hill or across the water, then I wished him a good morning once more and went inside, locking the door behind me.

That wizard really got on my nerves, and I wanted to go make myself a second breakfast when I heard some noise, so I went to look through the window, only to see Gandalf staring back at me.

I quickly looked away and tried again a few minutes later, and I was just in time to see him walk away.

I was relieved, for a moment I believed that bloody wizard was going to wait at my door until I came out again.

Glad that he was gone, I went to make my second breakfast and by the time I was done eating it, Gandalf was carefully tucked away in the back of my mind.

Bilbo swallowed when he was done reading the first page of his journal, unaware that his eyes slid back to Thorin, who still lay peacefully in his sleep.

There was no sign that he had heard anything from what Bilbo just had told, no movement that could indicate that Thorin would wake up soon.

" This is the easy part, you know? The part about Gandalf and meeting the company, meeting you." Bilbo softly said. " It will get harder to read this out loud when I come to the part where I actually start to care."

He stared at his black covered journal for a while, then he putted it on top of Thorin's red covered one.

" I should go see how the others are doing." He mumbled before he jumped of off the bed again. " I'll be back soon."

He quickly kissed the dwarf's forehead, then left the room and made his way through the halls of Erebor to see what the others were doing.

Thank you for reading.
I hope you liked it this far.
Don't forget to leave a review. ;)

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