I haven't updated in 3,5 years. Everyone probably thought I was never going to update again. I must admit, I had my doubts as well, but the chapters popped up as I was going through my files and I hate not finishing things. There's probably nobody left from back then, but if you're still here: let's finish this together! If your new, awesome, you've got 34 chapters to read haha.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or its characters.

Chapter thirty-four: N.E.W.T's

"My life is over. I'm going to die," I cried dramatically, while I let my head fall on the table.

My friends practically ignored me while they read through their notes. Peter and James didn't even seem to have heard me. Lily perched one eyebrow while she flipped the page of an enormously advanced Charms book, but didn't look up. Remus sighed softly, while scribbling some things next to his old notes.

Only Sirius looked up and gave me one of his signature grins. "Don't be such a wuss Rain. In just over two weeks, you're free of NEWT's."

"Easy for you to say," I mumbled.

Sirius was one of those students who just seemed to get it all the first time. Difficult spell? No worries. At the end of the class he was doing it flawlessly. And if he didn't manage it the first day? Well, he was still miles ahead of the rest of us. Lily and James were also quite the natural witch and wizard. Remus had been studying hard all those years, so for him it was only revising everything he had learned over the years.

The only ones struggling were Peter and me. Not that I failed at every class. I was quite good at Transfiguration. I didn't really worry about getting something lower than an E. Actually, I would be surprised if it wouldn't be an O. Charms however, was a totally different thing. As much as I liked Flitwick and his classes, half of the time I just didn't get it. It all seemed logical, until I had to wave my wand. For some reason it didn't click.

And then there was Potions. Remus had done his best to teach me everything and every lesson he had pulled me along. He took the time to explain everything, gave me all the time in the world to figure things out. I mean, how hard could it be to just follow every step.
Well in my case it seemed to be the hardest thing in he world. Sometimes it was just my own fault. Reading to fast and missing something important. Or being too impatient to take the time to cut or squeeze the ingredient the proper way. I knew I had enough time during the NEWT's but I hoped I could get my act together.

"You're not going to fail sugar plum," Sirius said and I grimaced at the nickname.

"You don't know that," I replied miserably. "Can you imagine you all graduate with like 6 NEWT's and I get only 1 or 2. Then it's bye bye Auror training."

I looked back at all my notes. My own revision was going along rather well, but for some reason I had the feeling I was going to fail anyway. Call me pessimist, but things could only turn out for the better if you expected the worst. My first NEWT exam, Defense Against the Dark Arts, was only three days away. I'd probably would be able to get an E if not an O on that one as well. My Patronus hadn't failed me so far and after a few practice session with Sirius my nonverbal spells were also quite impressive when it came to stunning and disarming.

It was quite interesting why I was comfortable with those spells, while the ones at Charms made me question my intelligence. I had a feeling it had more to do with confidence than anything else. Not surprising when you were in the same year as quite a few brilliant students. As much as I loved my friends, they could be quite intimidating when it came to their academic knowledge and capacities.

And so it was that on Monday I sat down in the Great Hall for my Defense Against the Dark Arts theory exam. Sirius had given me a quick peck on the lips, before he had sat down at his own table. I breathed in and out. I could do this. I had done my revision. Lily had even questioned me this morning in the dorm. I looked down at the first question: What does the spell Impedimenta do and what is the counter curse? I grinned, thinking back to when one of Sirius' fangirls had followed us on one of our late night dates. I had had enough of the giggling and had needed some privacy. Impedimenta had been the best solution, because during the short period of immobilization, we had our chance to sneak off. If all of the questions were like this, then I'd be fine.

I glanced over at Sirius. He had a lazy smile on his face and was writing down some answers. Lily, who was sitting behind him, was writing feverishly like she didn't have enough time. She was probably right. Her answers were always so detailed, I almost felt bad for the examinator who had to check her answers. I smiled and brought my focus back to my own test.

"Well that wasn't that bad," James said as we walked back to our common room. I nodded in agreement, while Sirius threw his arm around my shoulder. He gave me a tiny squeeze and I couldn't help but smile.

"If every test is going to be like this one, then I'll actually believe I'm gonna survive this," Peter said grinning. I nodded again.

Lunch went by in a blur. We were all doing a small revision again so everything would be fresh in our minds for the practical part of our last exams. I thought of three happy memories I could use while conjuring a patronus. The first one was Christmas in our third year. All of us had decided to stay at Hogwarts and celebrate it together. It was the first time our group felt like a little family.

The second memory was of the most recent Christmas evening. The way how his finger slowly traced my jaw line. How one of his hands found my lower back and pulled me closer to him. When he told me liked me. It felt like it was years ago.

The last memory made me blush slightly. It was one of Sirius and my… more intimate moments. It wasn't the kind of happy like the other two memories. It wasn't a lifechanging experience. It hadn't changed any dynamic in our relationship or our friendship. But it had been an afternoon where it was just the two of us. We had been laughing, talking and… doing other things. Maybe I was just a horny teenager, but a happy memory was a happy memory right?

The practical exam was even better than theory. I'd really been looking forward to this one, because I knew I could do it. I pulled off each and every spell and defensive move that was asked of me, first time every time. It was exhilarating, even more so when I was able to look at the next table, where Remus was shining as well . If nothing else, it was wonderful to be told to put a Shield Charm between us. It looked like having our surnames so close together alphabetically could be a blessing as well as a curse after all.

"How did you do?" Sirius asked as I came out of the Great Hall that afternoon, glowing.

"Fantastic," I said, sitting down next to him in the room set aside for those people who had completed their exams. "It was brilliant. Didn't miss a trick. I think Remus and I both did an awesome job. How did you do?"

His brilliant grin told me everything. It would be either him or James who would get the highest mark. They were both equally brilliant.

Days went by in a blur and before I knew it, it was time for the Charms exam. I had barely slept an hour, reading all my notes over and over again. An overkill? Probably. But I would grab every free second to study. I needed Charms to get in the Auror program. In the end it was harder than I'd anticipated. My verves got the best of me and there were a few questions I couldn't answer fully. The practical exam was quite interesting as well. It started of really well. My summoning charm did what it had to do and the reduction curse destroyed the teacup. You would have thought that if I mastered something from the last years, it would be peanuts. But when we had to banish a ball to the center of a circle, something we'd learned in our fourth year it flew past the target. Well, I couldn't do everything, could I?

Herbology was rather better – I was more relaxed going into it and had little difficulty with either the theory or practical portions of the examination, aside from successfully scaring off my Screechsnap by accidentally dropping a bucketload of dragon dung onto it, which forced me to retrieve it from underneath the table where it had escaped to seek shelter.

Once I had completed my Transfiguration examination on Friday morning, I felt rather more relaxed. The first week was out of the way and I hadn't had a nervous breakdown.

"Well, one week down, one to go," Lily grinned as she flung her bag onto the grass and then sat down herself. "And you know, I haven't wanted to hex a single examiner yet."

I grinned at her while she grabbed one of her Ancient Runes books. I was glad I didn't have that exam. All there was left for me was Potions and Care of Magical Creatures and Astrology. I was more than halfway. Care of Magical Creatures and Astrology weren't really necessary for being an Auror, so getting an A for those two would be ok. Potions… I didn't really want to think about it.

But seeing it was one of my worst subjects so far, I decided to take leaf out of Lily's book and grabbed my copy of Advanced Potion-Making. I had no idea, which Potions we had to make. I could skip the Polyjuice Potion for the practical part, because we had to finish it within three hours. But then again, there might be questions about it during the theory exam.
I had the feeling the Wit-Sharpening Potion might be one of the things popping up, so I made certain to focus on that.

Before I knew it, the weekend had passed. Usually time seemed to go slow when studying, but for some reason it went by very fast this time. With shaking legs I made my way down to the dungeons. I mumbled ingredients to myself and tried to remember as much brewing instructions as I could.

We all got through the Potions exam fine, Lily probably the best of all, and were soon buckled down studying for our final exams. I had Care of Magical Creatures and Astronomy, Sirius and James Care of Magical Creatures and Divination. Peter had only Muggle Studies left. Lily and Remus were the one who had tough exams left. Both of them still had Astronomy, Ancient Runes and Arithmancy.

Astronomy went surprisingly well, considering it was at night. The short nights were taking their toll and at the last part I started to feel drowsy. Care of Magical Creatures went ok. I'd probably get an A, maybe an E. I could have done better, but as it was a short night I didn't really have my usual focus. At least I didn't get burns all over my arm form a Fire crab like poor Benjy.

When I walked back with Sirius and James realization finally hit me. I would never have to take another class at Hogwarts. No more hours of reading in the library, no more boring homework on the uses of moonstone. Of course, I still had a three year training ahead of me. Becoming an Auror wasn't something you did in a few weeks. But still, it would be different then the seven years I had sent here. I leaving a big part of my life behind.

It would be a period of changes. Hogwarts wasn't the only thing I was going to leave behind. At the beginning of September I would move in with Sirius. It was both exciting and nerve wrecking. While we already saw each other every day, it would be different once we would leave school. Out there in the real world we had to make our own food, clean our house and more of the grownup things. Were we even ready for that?

Sirius, unaware of my internal conflict, threw an arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. He laughed at a joke James made and his fingers drew circles on my upper arm. I followed them to the Great Hall for dinner, still thinking of my life after school. Was it normal to suddenly have doubts? Maybe it was nothing, just the last bit of exam stress leaving my mind.

Someone nudged my foot and I looked up. Sirius gave me a curious look. Why was my face like an open book? I tried to give him my softest smile. "I'm just tired. The last two weeks have been a hell." He nodded in agreement and squeezed my hand. For the rest of dinner he didn't let go and I decided to ignore my doubts. I was going to enjoy my last two weeks at Hogwarts.

We're almost there! I'm doubting between writing a sequel or writing a whole new story. If you're writing a review, tell me what you think! Special thanks to all the readers who made this story their favorite, are following it or those who have written a review! Extra special thanks to Tina0609, HazelVex, FallenAngeal007, thethreebirds, .2019, Whoviangirl559, Trinity16 and TWsos12345.