My name is Lovino Vargas.

I am depressed.

I hate everyone.

I hate everything.

Everyone around me is laughing, having fun. Why, why is it only I who is left out?

They annoy me.

They ignore me.

I'm quiet, but when asked to talk, I am quite rude. I snap at everyone, and they call me a jerk and instantly hate me.

"Fuck off." I would sneer at them.

...Is what I always say, but why is there a longing in my heart...?

This longing for a friend, someone that would love me for who I am.

That someone.

They said we have soul mates, right?

I doubt it.

Mine was probably ran over by a fucking car. No one would love someone disgusting like me.

It hurts.

I like it.

Blood, cuts, red...

Blood. Cuts. Red.

Bloodcutsred.

Bloodcutsredbloodcutsredbloodcutsredbloodcutsredbloodcutsredbloodcutsred-!

It's so beautiful as the metallic, red liquid drips to the floor, staining it red.

...

...Someone, save me from this pain...someone...anything...help me...

...Please. I can't take it anymore.

I literally...I...I've always been alone. My entire life.

I'm like an only child. I've done everything myself. When I was little, I was replaced by my younger brother, Feliciano because my grandfather favored him more.

I played with the dolls and pretended they were there with me. I did everything...All by myself. So...I was used to it.

Bring alone. Being depressed.

Crying almost everyday after school, when my brother was out with his friends, smiling and having fun, and grandpa was out at work. By the time they come home, I'd be smiling and saying I was fine. But I...I'm really not.

Everyday. I go home from school, on the weekends, it doesn't matter what day.

I was always alone.

I've been home alone since I was young. My grandpa would go out to treat Feliciano to sweet treats and told me to stay and watch the house. I'd have no one to talk to. All alone in the quiet, eerie house. I'd cry...then go on the computer and found social media networks.

That's when I began making accounts. Like YouTube, Facebook...etc. I've aways told everyone I was fine even online when I was really not.

I aways told people they can go do what they need to do when they say that they're going to sit with someone else at lunch. I told them I liked being alone. And that they were all bastards that should just leave me alone.

...But I'm not okay. I'm not fucking okay at all! Dammit...I'm afraid of being alone...

Thank you...haha. I'm crying because of you. Because of everyone and everything.

Are you happy now?

That I cry myself to sleep every night?

Everyday?

That I cut myself until I feel dizzy from the blood loss?

That you don't even know that I'm suffering by hiding it with my scowl?

...Ouch.

Another cut.

Another slit.

More blood.

No one would care if I died.

They all have Feliciano, after all.

There is not a single light inside of my darkened mind.

It hurts.

Suicidal thoughts, unhealthy thoughts...

Why can't I be like my brother, like everyone says?

I hate everyone and everything, but I wish deeply for someone to reach out to me.

I want someone to love me.

...Please, save me...If there really is a God, save me from this misery...what did I do to deserve this kind of life?

...

There is no response.

I'm...nothing.

I'm unloved.

There is no one for me.

I'm better off dead.

...

There is a bloodied knife that cuts across my throat.

The world is becoming darker and darker as the seconds pass by.

Blood.

...

...I'm...

...Worthless...