_ The Nightosphere _

A bullet in the skull hurts like a B**** for a second, then hopefully you die, minus one head ache. If you don't, like most of the characters in this story, it will be your last hangover unless you put yet another bullet , silver of course, in your head and finish what the $$hat who shot you started. At least that's what Hunson Abadeer was left with at this point. He was still powerless and immobile from Pinkie Pie's Demon Trap Sigil with Deadpool's bullet sitting comfortably in his cerebellum (Read a book!). Still stuck in the trap, in his living room, on top one of the many crimson mountains in the Nightosphere, for less than a week. Pacing back and forth, he was trying to use whatever was left of his grey matter to escape, but an acute case of "Dumb-N***A-itis" caused by bullet insertion, got the better of him.

Hunson:" The blood should have been dry by now," You could hear his shoe tapping on his floor," I just need a smidgen wiped off to break free *sigh* where's an overbearing Jewish Mother when you need to wipe some smootz ( Dirt )of this ceiling punim (face), " He paused for a second," Did I say that? I'm not even Jewish, Yiddish isn't sexy," Pondering on the subject, he sat down on his freezing cold floor indian style, crossing his arms with an intrusive look on his ….punim," Come to think of it, would the Jewish people see me as Satan? I hope not, he was a putz," Uncrossing his arms, Hunson grabs his chin to ponder further. " But wasn't he like an angel? Am I an angel? ," He shook his head to break his stupor," Bologna!," he yelled," I'm the King of Demons," which doesn't necessarily make me a demon by default. Could an Angel be a Demon disguised as Satan…..WAIT WHAT!?

Pinkie Pie:" GASP!, What if Ganesha ate Thor's peanuts off of Kali's stomach when she was LITERALLY in heat, burning Genesha's mouth, causing him to vomit on Thor, which totally C*** blocked him from Kali, and ends up crying in Tom Hiddleston's lap because his manhood was denied some booty on top of him getting hunger pains, so now he really wants his nuts back….I mean the peanuts, not his balls…although he could use a pair? I mean when you're crying in Tom Hiddleston's over some Fire Goddess striss-ange, game over dude."

Hunson turned his head towards the person who trapped him inside his own house and rendered him powerless. Pinkie Pie was brandishing Huson's nine Iron golf club, in the farthest corner that the sigil on the ceiling didn't hover over. A smile ran across Huson's face.

Hunson:" …That was deep, I mean what if Genesha ate those peanuts?," He chuckled at his own inner monologue of the events, but continued drone on." Thor would give him a beating he'd never forget, but he wouldn't …right? Because he's like…an Elephant God or something….hence the peanuts..," Now he was getting pissed," WHAT THE GLORP DID YOU TWO DO TO ME?!

Fed up with babbling like a hippy on April 20th ( Readers, if you do not get this reference , ask your parents and watch their faces go red)

Anyway, Hunson's patience finally dried out. Despite not having access to his powers, he can be vicious when properly motivated. Case in point: he was being tortured by people he tortured. He clutched his chest grabbing a fist full of his suit and ripping it off at both ends. Hunson started to shake from muscle convulsion, which led to his fingers sprouted teal green claws, fang tipped bat like wings from his upper torso, and an extra set of canine fangs protruding from his upper lip. He was nearly 100% feral. Pinkie Pie took notice when he started loping in her direction, basically running like she used to on all fours as a pony. I sigh escaped through her mask, she knew this was going to be sweet. She stood feet parallel to her shoulders and planted her right foot firmly in the floor, turning her head to the left, squared shoulders, a wiggle in her hips , fingers laced with a nine iron at the ready. Hunson was in midair getting ready to pounce on Pinkie Pie.

Hunson:" RAWWWWWRRRR…..huh," He fell short a few inches from where she stood, plummeting to the rim of where the Demon Trap ended. Flabbergasted couldn't even describe the level of embarrassment he felt, belly flopping on the floor because he forgot about the predicament she got him in.

Pinkie Pie lifted her right elbow back, raising the club towards the ceiling, and driving it between Hunson's eyes. This sent him flying backwards and into the net he set up to catch the golf balls he hit Deadpool with before. Much to the net's dismay, it ripped from the edges and entangled the half-naked King of Demons in a pile of green net fibers on his blood stained rug. Pinkie Pie walked over to Hunson, expecting a 'hole in one' joke to come to her.

Pinkie Pie:" Hey Deadpool," She shouted towards the door to Hunson's Bed chambers," You were right, the old man's off his rocker!"

The steel dungeon like doors flung open from the inside. It was Deadpool, rubbing antibacterial hand sanitizer in his hands.

Deadpool:" HAH, Welcome to the collective, bucko," He clapped his hands in celebration, but stopped to stare at his gloves." Ah man, kind of defeats the purpose to put that stuff on with gloves, actually since I got my healing factor back , I don't have to worry about this S*** any more. "

Deadpool joined Pinkie Pie over to the net entangled demon. He also brought the hand sanitizer with him, if only to shove the fact in Hunson's face that he's back in business with his healing factor.

Deadpool:" Won't be needing this anymore," Deadpool popped the cap off and emptied the whole bottle in Hunson's eyes. To avoid the pain, he gritted his fangs as the alcohol burned his eyes and dried them out like a sponge in sun at the same time. The irony that Pinkie Pie and Deadpool found out came when two of Hunson's teeth cracked and broke off. Avoiding pain caused him more pain and the inability to stop it, lesson learned.

Pinkie Pie:" Can you see clearly now B**CH?! The rain is gone now , I bet you can see all the obstacles in your huh? How about I burn these dark clouds and blind you," She grabbed her crotch and shook it," WITH THE LONG D**K?!"

Deadpool:" Pinkie Pie, don't do that, don't go the way of the sock stuffers."

Pinkie Pie:" ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIIIIIIGHT!," She said walking circles around Hunson while bobbing her head.

Deadpool:" Ah Jeez, look what you done made her. She now fittin ta cause a scene brother."

Pinkie Pie:" You goin learn today," She took a Mulligan and swung her club deep in Hunson's ribs.

Crack

Pinkie Pie:" You goin learn today,"she delivered another swing.

Crack

Hunson:" .GRGLEE HUUUHH!," The second blow hit his solar plexus, knocking the wind as well as blood infused puke out of him.

Deadpool:" *facepalm* Tell you what Pinkie, here's a lesson for you. Somewhere Johnny Nash is being raped in the ear after you butchered his masterpiece, but I'll let that slide since I'm in a good mood," he finished his sentence with a thumbs up Hunson thought was meant for him.

*This is him, this guy turned us into "Guest Stars" of this story when it clearly states in the contract I made up for this analogy , "Main Cast?"*

( Okay, Check off " Supernatural Demon cast member reject" aka "Deadman.")

Hunson:" *Cough* Okay…I can admit it when made a mistake," His breathing become difficult after Pinkie Pie broke a few of his ribs," I made a deal with our mutual Princess acquaintance. I get the souls of those Lemon saps you ganked if locked you up and kept my lips zipped. I figured, who the hell would miss you. Free souls and the chance to lock the guy up hanging out with my daughter. It was a win win."

Pinkie Pie:" I'll tell you who'd miss him," she knelt down to show Hunson that she still had the club," The girl holding your golf club in one hand , and the fate of your testicles in the other."

Deadpool:" You know what, I get it."

Hunson:" Oh good, thanks to your bullet in my skull I forgot what I just said."

Deadpool:" Lemony fresh souls and your daughters friend who just so happens to like b**ches!"

Pinkie Pie:" Umm, to all the females brave enough read this delusional authors fan fiction, I just want to say , SUP GIRLSFRIENDS! And to let you know Deadpool loves women. He's just saying b**ches because he doesn't know your names individually."

Deadpool:" Totes," Hunson's head was hoisted up by his hair balled up in Deadpool's fist. He wanted Hunson to pay attention to what he was about to say.

*Dude, make it short and sweet this time.*

( Don't use 200,000 words to tell this guy he needs to "stop being a D**K." 4 words, see how easy that was?)

*Exactly. If the readers want to read about preaching the good word of " Don't be "that" guy" and "Don't be a D**K" and people actually easting this up like Bangkok , heh loophole, jail bait P****, they'll tell you *

( Or they could just read the Bible, the Torah, the Qur'an, I Ching, the Book of Mormon, and any Bazooka Joe© worthy fortune)

Deadpool:" Really Author?….Writer….whatever? Does the threat of Copyright Infringement pucker your starfish? Never put another © in my presence, stick to emoticons or I'll punch you in the throat."

Hunson:" Excuse me," all he could do flag Pinkie Pie by darting his eyes," who is he talking to…am I gonna start talking to myself before I get old enough to enjoy being senile?"

Pinkie Pie:" No way, you must be trippin from the blood loss after my fist gave your neck a bloody hickey Mr. Deadpool's noggon is filled with smarts dipped in Awesome Sauce while you, well you're about a P**** roll away from being a vegetable."

Deadpool:" I'll even call the Campbell's Soup Company. Maybe they can fit you with a wheel chair that's decked out in with soup label decals."

Pinkie Pie:" Nice, V8© will literally be sponsoring a "Vegetable."

Deadpool:" DUDE!," He let Husons head fall to the floor so he could raise his fist at the hansome and well hung Author," I DONE ALREADY TOLD YOU TA STOP DOIN DAT! If I don't see a smiley face in the next 10 seconds, I'm F***ing your mama while Pinkie Pie watches you watching me give her my twelve spice kielbasa."

Author:" "

Deadpool:" Was that so hard?," he focused his attention back on Hunson, but out of the blue, some black calligraphy blocked his vision.

Author:" ┌∩┐( _ )┌∩┐

Deadpool:" Okay that's just rude, I'm trying to live up to my Comedy Mask booty mark, while you throw the horns at me with your driving fingers," He swats the words away, but they swarmed around his head like gnats. As the Author typed , each symbol found a different spot in front of Deadpool again.

Author:" :-þ + ω & (*^3^) + (_I*I_) , (屮ﾟДﾟ)屮 (o|o) つ⑩ *:oB

*This guy needs to score some P**** or just ＿|￣|○ *

( ❂.❂, how would P**** help?)

*٩(๏̯͡๏)۶, it wouldn't , I P***** not P*****, ヽ(`□´)ﾉ, We're back from hiatus and the Author is still messing with us, I was saying "Poa Pee" Thai Egg Roll. Wait you thought I've been dropping the P-tang-bombs this entire have we talked about that would make me think of P*****, (｀ε´) I just answered my own question.*

Pinkie Pie:" I can read it, it says ' Make sure you give my B***s some tongue while kissing my butt, F*** off Deadpool, you over paid clown."

Author:" (-'.'-) + (̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~ ~, /(◉౪◉)\ , ┣▇▇▇═─

Pinkie Pie:" Hmm, that must be Kirby," She was tapping her boot on the floor, signaling that she's deep in thought," GOT IT, I LIKE TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE, ' SMOKE MY BEEF INJECTOR'?"

Author:" 2XP = (T.N.T()-✹

Pinkie Pie:" ' PINKIE PIE IS THE BOMB, " Her arms stretched out when she dropped to her knees," THANK YOU CELESTIA, I F***ING LOVE CHARADES!"

Hunson:" TIME!," Closed space didn't stop his hand from forming a T," Can you just kill me and get it over with, I'll do you one better, give me your sword and I'll do it myself. I've known Hell Hounds with more mercy than the two…three…well let's just say two and a half to count who ever you keep yammering to in that pea brain of yours."

*A HALF?!*

( That's a complement, we never met the dude before so how would he know?)

Deadpool:" I'm not finished with you until I do my Moral Dilemma Intervention Wrap Up Speech."

Hunson:" You don't have to…everything you all said makes perfect sense," There was a hint of empathy in his voice, was the King getting emotional?

Deadpool:" Really?"

*( ・◇・)？*

((◎_◎;))

Hunson:" I was blinded by hubris. Getting souls is hard enough, so when the Princess practically handed them over, I caved in….I mean if ya think…

Deadpool:" Hold that thought ," Deadpool interrupted.

*This guy's " two co-eds short of a threesies". That "thought" comes with expiration date*

Pinkie Pie:" He's got a point."

Deadpool tossed a katana in Pinkie Pie's direction, leaving one for himself. He moved his hand like they were scissors, giving Pinkie Pie the hint that something needed to be cut. They both started cutting away the thick fibers in Husons's Golf Net. Deadpool knew his ribs were broken, and he ain't getting that far if he tried to escape, although the image of Hunson yelling "Freedom" while running out the door. The thought of him freaking out when he forgets why he left and/or why he was outside in the first place, while still entertaining, brought back memories of Deadpool's rampage through Weapon X to escape.

*Pinkie Pie, while I have you here I wanna bounce a new pastry idea off your new sweater meat*

Pinkie Pie:" HHHMM," she was the net blade down, she was grunting every time she sliced a piece of the net," Heh, wouldn't the cream get all over them?," This was knew, she was actually flirting," I guess I could ,HMMM, lick it off , but only if Deadpool is there to provide Commentary."

( You MARRY THAT WOMEN !)

*Heh nice, anyway , try to envision a double stuffed vanilla wafer chocolate cream Oreo cookie, and now picture it covered in chocolate chip cookie dough. Bake those off in a Derpy approved Muffin Tin and you got an "Eastern Peeper," Copyright that Author, HAH © I was joking ….you tool."

Pinkie Pie:" Easter Peeper, like a Marshmallow peep?"

*Eastern Peeper. When you split the whole thing in two, hold them next to each other and I swear it looks like an Asian dude eyes are peeping through the cookie. Not only is it delicious , but you can totally freak out unsuspecting customers that being ogled by Asians…Silence…..hmm, I think this might be a cry for help*

( Racist)

Saved. The flashback receded into Deadpool's encumbering unconscious. That freed some time that would have been wasted stressing out from past discretions. In no time Hunson was freed, doubled over in pain, but demon anatomy was meant to take these kind of beatings daily. That's why he's still alive. Hunson's healing abilities stem from magic, which was negated when he entered the Demon trap, so his body adapted. It takes centuries of war and torture for a demon's body to take a bullet to the head, but live to brag about it.

Deadpool:" Sucks doesn't it, I know it did for me when you did the same to me," He guided Hunson to one of his chairs. Hunson nearly fainted trying to sit on it. The pain was borderline tolerable when he was went full fetal position in the net, trying to walk with broken ribs and a bullet in your brain had it's own Pain Chart," But I digress," he stuck his hand out palm up to let Hunson know he needed to start talking again.

Hunson:" Right… ," He managed to remember his last thought, the pain helped him focus." Souls! Right….*ahem* I don't know who started, but theirs this bunk rumor about how Demon kings steal souls to build an army. You've seen The Nightosphere, the last thing we need is more demons, why did they think there was a demon shortage?," He went cross-eyed as he drifted into another stupor, but bounced back," How did you guys get in here anyway, I distinctly remember putting a hit out on you in case you escaped. "

Deadpool:" That chibi version of Hellraiser you used as a golf tee…..that was your head of security…he gave us the V.I.P. break in package, complete with transportation, keys to the room and an omelet bar. When I told him what I was planning, all he asked for was for me to deliver some paypack. I sweetened the deal by giving him a sweet review on Yelp,"

THISSSSSHHHHH

Screams bellowed across The Nightosphere. Deadpool plunged his Katana through the tip of Hunson's shoe. Two toes were severed, including the Pinkie Toe. The tip of the katana snagged the shoe's sole. Deadpool removed the shoe in time to grab his ankle o finish getting his point across. Even though it was painful, Hunson struggled trying to free his bleeding foot from Deadpool's mitts.

Deadpool:" Try real hard to remember my little warning I gave you while strapped to your table. I said you F***ed with the wrong soldier," Hunson was too weak to fight him off. Confident he wouldn't escape, Deadpool grabbed his Multi Tool from his pouch. Instead of the blade , he flipped the pliers up.

*Now's not the time to bust out your Laurence Olivier impersonation from "Marathin Man*

Deadpool:" I've got something better," The pliers clamped at the edge of Hunson's big toe. Deadpool braced himself in case this was really going down." Plead your case Hunson, because the only thing holding me back is you being Marceline's dad. So I won't kill you, but unless you start giving me some inspiration on how to deal with you," He wiggled his hand with the pliers gripping Hunson's big toenail. " I give what you gave me times a thousand. Instead I'll pull your nail out at a snail's pace and cram your foot in a box of Kosher salt. Pain like that makes terrorists turn into whistle blowers, and salt has the same effect as silver on a demon. Process the upcoming pain should you fail defend yourself."

Hunson:" I WAS JELOUS OK," He yelled trying to avoid the thought of pain," Look, I'm not father of the year material. I sold out my daughter just so my powers would get a little stronger from the souls. I was angry and it was selfish. All the time I spent trying connect with her again, meant squat after she teamed up with you, someone she just frikin met. You wouldn't understand, you're not a father."

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

On instinct Hunson put his arms up as a shield. Pain traveled from his ribs all the way to his fingertips. He went back to keeping them down, and was glad when he was able to see what Deadpool was shooting at. Deadpool was standing with both pistols at the ceiling. Blood chipped off the Demon Trap where the bullets hit. It was enough to sever the link and allowed Hunson's healing magic to start up. With a minute, the bullet in Hunson's brain popped out the entry wound it came through. That healed as well as the rest of his body.

Deadpool:" Ok you're cool. I don't know how our banter gave you a moment of clarity, but at least you got the message."

Hunson:" Well, I wouldn't have predicted this ending," Hunson used his magic to manifest himself a new suit. After he checked to make sure he wasn't still half-naked, he stuck offered a handshake to Deadpool, " So…are we cool?"

DeadPool: He hesitated on purpose," Yeah, we're cool…,"

CLICK

Deadpool:" But Marceline thinks you're a butt chicken," Like an Illusionist ploy of misdirection, their handshake distracted Hunson from Deadpool using sleight of hand to slap handcuffs on him.

Pinkie Pie:" As far as you and me," She started counting her finger, using Deadpool's katana as a pointer. Deadpool wasn't sure if she was trying to make him laugh or she forgot it was in her hand, like it was a part of her," You tried to kill me , my hands still hurt from when I fell, and most importantly, you sent my new best friend to a creepy dungeon cell and tortured my best best friend."

*Awww, she thinks saying a complement twice doubles the value*

( It doesn't?)

*Duh*

Deadpool:" Ergo, you dodged a bullet, but fell in a party cannon."

Hunson looked down to see his wrist being violated by Deadpool's handcuffs. To him this was the worst attempt at seeking retribution since he got his powers back, and has Deadpool by the hand. In the slight chance they might escape, he figured to just kill him now before Deadpool's vists become a habit. Hunson responded by increasing his grip, hoping to crush one of Deadpool's katana wielding mitts.

Deadpool:" Dude, what the grip? Captain Hook could do better, let me guess, performance anxiety. HAH if your hand went limp your pecker must be hiding like a scared turtle."

Hunson:" What the, HMMMM," He focused on tightening his grip, which made him dizzy," Ahhh ahh ahh ahh, *pant* crap not again?"

Deadpool:" Don't question greatness boo boo," While he had Hunson still attached to his hand, Deadpool raised it so he could see the cuffs," Demon Trap sigil carved right in the cuff. Got it from a dude named Choose Goose , and he takes jokes as payment. I recited Eddie Murphy's "Raw" comedy special. The guy laughed so hard he farted, that was good enough for these and I got to hear a duck fart."

*Check off " Hearing a duck fart off the bucket list*

CLICK

Both cuffs rendered Hunson powerless. Deadpool struck Hunson in the teeth, shattering his new fangs and causing him to fall flat on his keister. Pinkie Pie took grabbed his other hand to help Deadpool drag his body in his own bedroom. They both tossed his body on his king sized bed, landing on black silk sheets that tussled under Hunson's weight. Deadpool tossed another pair of hand cuffs to Pinkie Pie. At this point Hunson had been cuffed to his bed posts at the head of the mattress.

Hunson:" Guys, I apretiate the consideration, but I like my sex like my basketball, one on one and no rimshots."

Deadpool:" One, I only know how to play HORSE so you lost me. Two, rimshot is my middle name baby."

Pinkie Pie and Deadpool made their way to Hunson's flat screen TV. Deadpool pulled out a disk from his pouch and popped it in the DVD Player. He then grabbed the master remote control and turned the TV on.

Deadpool:" First time I watched this, I spent the whole time going "Duh Dum Tsh" every time the women says something. She sets herself up for a joke without even knowing it. I was tempted to watch it again and say " That's what she said" before the "Duh Dum Tsh."

Hunson:" You're going to me make me watch a movie? I watched "Freddy Got Fingered" 36 times in a row on a bet. Whatever you got is peanuts compared to that."

Pinkie Pie:" I'm sure Mr. Ganesha the Elephant God would hate to hear that."

*And Tom Green*

(Even he hated the movie)

Deadpool:" Speaking of Elephants," He pushed play on the remote. " Folks the Author decided to make things easier on you blood shot eyes by giving the voices in this film a ( TV:" whoever is talking) rather than individually. Don't worry we'll give everyone a name so you don't get confused.

TV:" (Mr. Pig)- "Don't you think there might be cameras in here?"

(Tree Trunks)- " I hope so, tee hee."

Deadpool:" Turns out the Banana Guard are total pervs. Choose Goose told me he scored this from the Castle's Security Room. Newlyweds literally porking in their cell after they locked em up in the dungeon, perfect set up for a Shawshank Redemption porno reboot, and you get to watch it uninterrupted on replay."

Hunson:" A pig..and an elephant… knocking boots?"

Deadpool:" I know, South Park did it first in season one so it loses points for originality, but I think we've over stayed are welcome, " He took the batteries out of the remote on the off chance he gets loose," So we'll leave you to bask in beauty of post wedding fornication, later tater."

Pinkie Pie:" Later M*****bater."

Deadpool and Pinkie Pinkie Pie made their way to the door to give Hunson some private time. Pinkie Pie was the first out the door, but Deadpool stopped to get the last word in.

Deadpool:" Spoiler Alert, halfway through the film they have a threesies with an apple pie. I know, American Pie the movie did it first, but at least a chick is in this one." He mentioned before closing the doors and leaving.

SLAM

TV:" ( )- Ya like that huh, I call this position "Pigs in a Blanket."

(Tree Trunks) OH MY GLOB!

Hunson:" HEY WAIT," He tried to get up, but the handcuffs jerked his body back on the bed." COULD YOU AT LEAST PUT A BULLET IN MY HEAD AGAIN," His screams for a bullet were ignored.

_The Nightosphere: Outside Hunson's Bedrrom_

Deadpool:" Well that was fun," Deadpool dropped to his knees to draw a smile face on the floor with a piece of chalk, " I'll set up the portal, we have one more stop to make."

Pinkie Pie:" Oky doky loky ," She reached into her pocket to pull out something wrapped in parchment paper. Whatever it was, she took a piece of what was inside the paper and offered it to Deadpool while he worked on the Portal," Gum?"

Deadpool:" Thanks, my breath is starting to burn my nose hairs," After accpetin the gum he pulled up his mask and popped it in mouth," Hmm, Pinkie Pie….where did you get this gum?"

Pinkie Pie:" Ummmmmmm, The Internet." Her answer came with a smile and a slight squeak in her voice.

*Hmm, taste like fear and shame*

( and possibly urine)

_Fire Kingdom_

Red Sox won the World Series in 2004, The Eagles reunited, and being a geek in the new "hotness". One possible explanation for these axial events, hell must have frozen over. That's where the Fire Kingdom is, as far "literally" being frozen over.

Giving the Ice king the Tesseract was one of Deadpool's most successful back up plans. Possession of the Tesseract amplified his Ice Magic to god like status. As soon as he flew inside the Fire Kingdoms Perimeter, he started to emit steam . He almost looked like a ghost. Then he grabbed the Tesseract from his pocket to summon a snow storm that produced baseball sized snowflakes, a "Snow Ball" if you will. Fire Elemental's were repeatedly being pelted by the snow balls, as a result created a constant flow of steam in their atmosphere. The funny part, was that Ice King actually had a plan.

_Fire Kingdom Castle _

Flambo:" PRINCESS!," The pint sized fire Elemental maneuvered around some of the Fire People in attendance at the throne room. Inside we're numerous tables set in a strait line with people on both sides. For some reason there was a gong behind them with Cinnamon Bun ringing it every 5 minutes . He reached Flame Princess who was talking to some of her subjects.

Flame Princess:" Flambo?!," She said in a concerned inflection," I'm in the middle of speed date"

Flambo:" Sorries Princess , but we gots to amscray before the Fire Kingdom become the new steam room of Ooo. " He tugged at her dress to get her attention.

Flame Princess:" What are you going on about?"

Flambo:" Just looks outside," She proceeded to tilt her head up, and there it was, steam rising in every direction," WHAT THE BJORK?!," her head spun around to face her possibly love interest," Sorry Scorcher, but I need to address this."

Flame Princess took off her high heels she wore to her little party and ran into the castle hallways. She met up with a couple of her guards on the way. They followed her outside to protect her, and bear witness to snow clouds cascading their skies. A couple of snow Balls hit the Princess , once they started melting and the water touched her skin, she screamed.

Flame Princess:" KKYAAAA!," one of her guards picked up the snow balls and watched as they melted in his hands.

Guard #1:" Ah jeez that one's on me," Admitting fault rather than saying sorry," my bad princess."

Flame Princess:" No worries , just keep dodging …whatever they are."

The Princess and her two guards moved flawlessly to avoid getting hit by another snow ball. She managed to learn how to do this quickly and reverted to "Auto Pilot" in terms of moving her body. Flame Princess tried to see the source of this type of magic. It was either Ice King or this Deadpool guy Flambo had mentioned once. However the steam was accumulating at a rate that made it hard to see anything.

Flame Princess:" Grrrr! AH BUNK THIS!," Flames enveloped her body like a force field.

She started flying, heading anywhere she could. Her fire Force Field evaporated the oncoming snowballs before they had a chance to touch her. Then something stood out in the Distance. It was glowing an icy blue that lead her the way to the person responsible for this.

Flame Princess:" ICE KING!," She yelled trying to get his attention.

Ice King:" Ice King? I'm more of a Chill-ax King,, did you get that?...Silence …..guess wearing Deadpool's mask doesn't make me funnier."

Flame Princess:" Wait Deadpool, he told you to do all of this?," She was hovering next to the Ice King.

Ice King:" Are you kidding , I practically offered myself to him," he paused ." …ok that was funny."

Flame Princess:" What? If you knew the bunked up stuff this guy did,"

Ice King:" I KNOW RIGHT," He said assuming she was on the same page as him. He was still holding the Tesseract while he tended to his storm.

Flame Princess:" The dude is 100% grade A bad guy Ice King, even you wouldn't stoop so low to help him."

Ice King:" Say what now," his focus went to Flame Princess," Are you dissin my new homie?"

Flame Princess:" I'm flat out telling you to stop this because Deadpool is Yoga Balls crazy."

Ice King:" Well then," In an instant Ice King stopped his storm," You flat out blew it Flame Princess."

_Fire Kingdom: 4 days later (present time)_

Deadpool:" Arrree yyyouu kkikkikIDDING ME?," He stuttered from the cold.

Pinkie Pie:" Eh, the cold never bothered me."

They both arrived inside the castle via portal. Pinkie Pie expected the Fire Kingdom to be scorching hot. To her disappointment, everything was either on ice, or covered in snow. The lava pits crystalized into basalt minerals, The Fire Element people hid inside their respective homes, and every inch of the Fire Kingdom glistened with snow.

Deadpool:" Wwweeell, I heeeard ffrom a reliable source ttthhhat in order to ssttay warm in the weeinter iiisss ," He was cut off by Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie:" WINTER WRAP UP!...no wait…Oh yeah," After figuring it out, she pounced on Deadpool and grabbed his upper torso like a sloth hugging a tree branch. Deadpool kept his balance and was able to handle his new added weight. Pinkie Pie got it right, hugging. Except , They don't have an insulated tent, no lantern and they we're not naked. It didn't really matter though. Pinkie Pie's breasts were pressing against his chest. That made up for everything they didn't have.

*Is this really gonna work? Because I'm on board with Pinkie's hot biscuits keeping us warm*

( Theoretically yet, but since she can't cover the lower torso, well it would keep us alive , but we'd be susceptible to frostbite)

*Hmm, I'm cool with that. Either way something gets hard*

Deadpool walked the Castle corridors with Pinkie Pie latched on to his chest. Every step came with a crunching sound from the snow cover floors. As he walked further into the castle, he tried to find the Ice King before things get worst. He looked up to see icles that were like Marceline stalactites in her cave. A few broke off and fell in front of Deadpool , stoping him mid step. Pinkie Pie started chuckling in Deadpool's ear.

Deadpool:" What's so funny?"

Pinkie Pie:" This whole castle is Frozen, Hey Deadpool, Do you want to build a snowman," she started singing.

Deadpool:" I do not, but you're hotter than Anna," his attempt at a complement

They arrived at the throne room. Deadpool thought Ice King would end up taking over the Fire Kingdom. Sure enough, he was sitting on the throne stuffing his face with chocolate Ice Cream. However he wasn't alone. A young girl was brushing Gunther, Ice Kings pet penguin, and clipping his nails. What made Deadpool wig out was the young girl was wearing something that resembles Princess Laya slave outfit. Pinkie Pie got off, and noticed the thing Deadpool was looking at.

Ice King:" DEADPOOL, SUP HOMIE!," he looked at his ice cream bowl ," who ate all the Ice Cream?"

Deadpool:" Well, I see we've redecorated, then again I've never been here before so I don't know what it looked like before," He started to think the worst about the girl." Who's chick?"

Ice King:" This is my new penguin groomer, formly known as Flame Princess."

*Dude, she looks like a F***ing kid*

( Please tell me Ice King didn't name his junk "penguin" )

Deadpool:" I know right, hey kid, how old are you? Don't get cute and say 'This many' then flip me off."

Flame Princes:" Iiii'm fffi fii fifteen," she said while her teeth started to chatter.

Deadpool:" COME ON," He threw his hands in the air feeling a bit pissed," Don't you know 15 years will get will get you 20 years in the slammer," he snaps his finger and points his thumb to the door," Scram kid, us adults need to handle some business." She threw the brush at Ice Kings head and used Gunther like a bowling ball on the ice, thankfully he slid in a snow bank."

Flame Princess:" When I'm get my Kingdom back," she started making a promise of vengeance, but Deadpool didn't care.

Deadpool:" Yeah whatever drama queen," She started to leave when Deadpool forgot to mention something," Oh F.Y.I., the fans think you made a B**** move dumping Finn," He started imitating her voice," ' Finn you lied to me,' AHHH BOO FRIKIN WHO. SO WHAT? Welcome to the Wonderful World of Reality, for a price of admission you get a splitting headache with a nearly irresistible urge to kill, an inferiority complex and a bag of weed. Do you think Finn is the only dude in your life that lies? If you stop seeing every person that lied to you, your Facebook friend list will shrink down to your family, but that's because they're good at lying to you. Look at the positives, you were able to get your man off by beating the chocolate out of Ice King. Be thankful he found you attractive enough to get his D*** wet without stripping your clothes off or wearing a maid outfit. I was dating a chick in Boston that lied to me, she said she wanted to bring someone one else in the bedroom, ended up being a trap, she gave her P**** an upgrade and my butt was the target, but I let that slide because at the time I loved the B**** and I just took it like a man and said 'Baby, if this is was it takes to keep this relationship strong I'm gonna do my job and make this work for you boo boo'. Take a lesson from what I did, and keep an open mind before you wind up alone."

Pinkie Pie:" PREACH IT BROTHER, SHUBADANAYA , SHOULDA BOUGHT A HONDA." She chanted like she was spreading the good word of chaos.

Flame Princess took off wondering how he knew about her and Finn. Regardless, she needed to see him to help get her Kingdom back, AGAIN!

Deadpool:" Ice King, ya done good on your part, keep the mask as a door prize, but it's over. Everyone is going bonkers over the whole Princess Bubblegum incident."

Ice King:" Princess Bubblegum," that got him to rush over to him ," what happened to my sugar lumps!," He grabbed Deadpool and shook him like a British nanny with Parkinson's.

*If there're people reading this with Parkinson's disease, congrats cause it must be hard as balls to keep your head steady and look at the screen*

( *facepalm* Holy crap, everyone we apologize if this offends anybody. We only make fun of the ones we love and most comedians already put it out there, blame them)

Pinkie Pie:" HAH, She locked herself in a dungeon after I cut some of her skin off to make homemade Bubble Tape. Her hair tasted like shampoo, who shampoo's bubblgum flavored hair? So I went for a few choice spots and started, carving."

Deadpool:" Then the tranqualizer kicked in and she fainted, or it was insulin shock , but regardless she's locked in there and all she can think about is you. She that's why were hear, to tell you she wants to….how do I put it…hit the tip of your iceberg."

Ice King:" I have to save my lady lumps," He started to fly out when Deadpool stopped him.

Deadpool:" WHOAH , dude, you know Princess Bubblegum is allergic to Tesseracts. If you plan on making your move and she's all puffy, how's that gonna look?"

Ice King:" DAH, of course," Ice king gave back Deadpool the Tesseract and left to be with his Sugar lumps.

Deadpool:" See, a lying has its benefits, soooo in the spirit of this….did you really give me a piece of the Princesses skin?"

Pinkie Pie:" Of course I did, why?"

Deadpool:" Cause it was so delicious I swallowed it and I can't wait to poop that."

Pinkie Pie:" Are you avoiding the subject of shipping me back to Ponyville?

*Buuurrrnnnned*

( and in all this snow too)

Deadpool:" Crap," he said folding his arms and pouting. He took a deep breath before explaining the situation" Pinkie Pie, you saved my tattooed butt more than ones, you helped me at my worst, and have been one of the few female friendships that didn't end in a shootout. If I could I'd get that …I can't believe am acknowledging it….cutie mark done over again I'd have it read ' Property of Pinkie Pie' and surgically implant squeak toys in each butt cheek."

Pinkie Pie:" HAHH, I'd slap dat booty for days."

Deadpool:" Eeyup, but I've got some demons in my head that need to silenced so I have to keep hustling through this solo. I can't drag anyone else into my Bull****, plus I have no idea who am gonna fight next and I can't concentrate if I'm worried about you."

Pinkie Pie:" I can take care of myself, I don't need to be looked after like a child."

Death:" No one is treating you like that," Without the curiosity of a heads up, Death arrived to take Pinkie Pie back to Equestria. Not the best time though.

Pinkie Pie:" He's saying I wouldn't be able to handle myself"

Death:" My dear," she was leaving a trial of black mist as she stood in front of Pinkie Pie and caressed her cheek with her thumb," Deadpool is currently assisting my sister get her back to her former self. She's a manipulative, uncontrollable, merciless goddess, but I still love her, and if I can at least save Deadpool to help her, it's worth it. I need him at his best, and you can make him better. But I can't do this every time Deadpool becomes compromised. Even Deapool can't cheat death. Wouldn't you do anything for your sister if it involved her livelihood?"

Pinkie Pie:" I would, " she realized going back to Equestria would be helping Deadpool.

Death:" Then let him go."

*Uh oh*

Pinkie Pie didn't want to say goodbye, and what Death just said gave her an Idea on how to end this on a good note.

Pinkie Pie:" Deadpool, Let'd do it, right here, right now. Nobody else is in here, and no one can hear is outside."

Deadpool:" OH NO , I'm not falling for this one like I did in Boston. Making the same mistake turns it into a choice."

Death:" Would you mind if I joined in?"

Pinkie Pie:" Obviously!"

Deadpool:" WAIT WHAT?"

_5 minutes Later _-

Death:" The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,

Not a footprint to be seen.

A kingdom of isolation,

And it looks like I'm the queen."

Death was in the center of the throne room , standing like she was singing soprano in Spiderman the Musical. Deadpool twirled out from behind her to strike a lunge pose flexing his bicep.

Deadpool:" The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside,

Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried.

Don't let them in, don't let them see,

Be the good girl ( WHAT?) you always have to be.

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know,

Well, now they knooooooooowwwww," Perfect Pitch.

Pinkie Pie slid inbetween them on her knees and joined in. This is how she wanted it done. Disney Style musical. The castle was practically the set of Frozen in the first place.

Pinkie Pie:"' Let it go, let it go,

Can't hold it back anymore.

Let it go, let it go,

Turn away and slam the door."

Now Deadpool and Death walked towards Pinkie Pie with their arms stretched out. Watch the movie folks and you see. Else makes the best faces during this song.

Everyone:" I don't care what they're going to say,

Let the storm rage OOOOOOOOON!"

Pinkie Pie:" The cold never bothered me anyway."

_Finn and Jakes tree house._

Marceline:" Where the heck are those dweebs?" She was sprawled out on the couch in her PJ's, waiting for Finn and Jake to get back from getting snacks.

_Finn and jakes Current Location_

Finn:" CRABAPPLES, THE HIDEOUS MUTANT SQUID DEMON HAS ESCAPED AGAIN AND CREATED AN ARMY OF CYBORG ZOMBIES TO DO IT"S EVIL BIDDING!"

(Yeah, that's not happening anytime soon. 20 points if you can guess the reference)

_Back at Finn and Jakes House_

Knock Knock knock

Marceline:" It's about time, " She swung open the front door only to find Deadpool standing on her stoop.

Deadpool:" Are you in good hands with All State stand of All State State of State Stands?," He imitated the deep voiced All State commercial guy.

Marceline:" …" It might be the shock that kept her from answering, but it's most likely her rage building up.

*Maybe we should off done this by text.*

Deadpool:" Before you say anything, I had no knowledge of this. Someone who shall remain anonymous broke your dad's spell on me, I got my healing factor back," Deadpool explained as he removed his mask," See, if someone lops my head off, but it's near my neck, then I go into auto pilot and heal myself back on. I wanted to tell you but I needed Pinkie Pie to help me get a few loose ends tied, plus I wanted everyone else thinking I was dead."

Marceline:" …" Still nothing.

Deadpool:" Soo, are cool?"

Marceline grabbed him by the neck and drug him inside. He struggled to escape her vice grip, but it wasn't in time. She let him go, and moved fast enough to uppercut him while still in Mid Air. Her fist connected with his chin with enough power to send Deadpool through the ceiling and land on the kitchen table. Deadpool looked back at the hole to see Marceline fly through it. Before he could get in a fighting stance she grabbed his foot and swung him like a whip, slamming him hard enough to break the table. Time to get serious Deadpool thought. Deadpool whipped his leg to get some momentum going and spun on back to deliver a fresh kick in Marceline's face for three rotations. Then he kicked up into his fighting stance. Marceline was already throwing another punch at Deadpool, but he lifted his left elbow up to catch her fist. She back off and started cussing through the pain before she tried again. The two kept punching each bare knuckled for about 5 more minutes until Marceline side stepped into a kick, but tripped over BMO, and fell right on the floor, using Deadpool as a cushion. She landed right on top of him from being exhausted. Luckily he was in sleep.

The two just stared at each, remembering all they had been through. She was ready to kill him for not telling her he was still alive. She laughed from the irony of killing a man that just came back from the dead. At that moment , she started to see things a bit clearly. Life was too short, and immortals can't even cheat death. That meant she could die as well, so fighting over something like this seemed a bit juvenile.

Marceline caught the whiff of his masculine musk scent, fresh with clean sweat. She didn't fight what was happening to her. Curious to feel what his face felt like, she reached out to touch his scars. Deadpool was dumbfounded. Was this heading somewhere or is this another trap? He got his answer when Marceline's started molesting his rock hard chest. He didn't struggle against her. When their eyes met again, fighting was the last things on their minds. Deadpool played a gamble and grabbed a fist full of her hair from the back of her head, pulling it gently that caused Marceline open her mouth letting out a slight moan. She licked her lips in anticipation, caressing her fangs with her tongue. Deadpool pulled her head in and their lips finally met. He arched his back to get to a better position. He started rubbing his leg in between her thighs, causing her to unconsciously grind against it. Her hand guided Deadpool's underneath her grey wife beater. When Marceline felt his touch she bared her fangs as a jolt of exctasy cause her to arch her back, breaking the kiss to moan louder as she move here hips even faster against Deadpool.

*We're still here guys*

(She can't hear us, I think we might have lost him)

*Wait….what the heck are they doing now*

(I'll tell you when you're older)

*I know what they're doing , I just need to know we're on the same page.*

( I think on this planet they refer to it as "Tier 15")

BMO:" AAHHHH, THE BEAST WITH TWO BACK," Guess who woke up," MY EYES BURN! ," He started running to the front door, kicking it open to escape what he just saw," SOMEONE CLEAR MY INTERNET HISTORY, " He started yelling while running in the fields," I MUST WARN FINN AND JAKE WE MUST BURN ALL THE FURNTIURE." His cries didn't reach Marceline and Deadpool. They were preoccupied.

_The Next Day: Candy Kingdom Graveyard_-

Death had to Deadpool to meet her at the graveyard where he was buried when he was ready to move on. She sat on his former gravestone watching the sun rise. Then she spotted Deadpool walking through the gate.

Death:" So, how did she take it?"

*HAH*

( She set herself up for that one)

Deadpool:" She understood," Deadpool found another tombstone to sit on," Uh, is this cool?"

Death:" There're Dead, I'm sure they'd be happy to know they can still offer someone a seat even after death. "

Deadpool:" No argument here," He plopped his sore butt on the random gravestone," Admittedly she was harder to convince than Pinkie Pie, but she knew I had to leave."

Death:" *chuckle*,"

Deadpool:" What's so funny?"

Death:" The usual my love, blatant irony. From what my sister has told me, you've been rather busy making new friends."

Deadpool:" Not by choice, I think. They just sort of happen without a heads up." He explained as if he had something wrong.

Death:" I'm not mad Deadpool. My sister may protest, but I'm on your side. It's true you know, life is short. I've reaped so many young ones Deadpool, I get to see them at their worst. Souls looking down at their former bodies, wondering what happened. After telling them about their demise, all of them had wished they wouldn't have wasted their lives on such miniscule issues like vanity, social status, Iphone addiction. Even though you may not agree, you do matter Deadpool. So in case you need a reminder, I'd be glad to send you anywhere you've managed to make some form of friends."

Deadpool:" Seriously? Death you know just what to say to put me in the spirits."

Death:" There will be a price however, but we'll discuss that later, it'll be our little secret," She hopped off the grave stone to summon her magic to make a portal leading to Deadpool's next destination." Right now you have a job to get back to. I took the liberty of finding a particular world that may provide a challenge, but when you've caused enough trouble, my sister will explain a new method of causing chaos to amplify her influence."

Deadpool:" Sounds sexy," He stood on the tombstone, doing a couple of stretches and squats. His hands clapped together over his head as he dived right into the portal, not wasting anytime.

_?_

SPLASH

Deadpool:" D*** IT, THIRD TIME I ENDED UP GETTING WET FRESH OUT THE PORTAL"

*At least a giant didn't treat us like dog S*** again*

( Although I would like an explanation why there's no light)

Deadpool:" Yeah, are like in some health spa grotto? This water is warm," He started to feel like bugs were crawling on him," and a bit tingly," To better understand where his current whereabouts are, he grabbed a dry road flare from his pouch, he lifted his mask to strike it against his cheek , causing it to sparkle in a bright red fire.

Deadpool:" Hmm, " He scanned the are," I thought that smell was sulfur when I thought this was a mineral bath," While hovering the lit flare around him, the light shined on a couple of fresh corpses of what looked like soldiers from the uniforms and symbols on their green capes. Some were whole, and most were cut in half. Their lifeless faces were frozen in terror.

*Ok, check off being in a hot tub filled with corpses off the bucket list*

( That's not on there)

*I know , I'm just trying to distract ya'll because WERE TRAPPED IN A HOT TUB OF THE DEAD!"

Deadpool:" I don't think this is a hot tub,"

*What makes you an expert?*

Deadpool:" I enjoy the little things in life, like mineral bath, and from what I remember the water wasn't strong enough to burn the delicate fabric on my SUIT!," He dropped the flare in whatever liquid he was struggling in. It was true, it started eating away at his suit. His pouches were very durable, so he didn't have to worry about one of the explosives. Now he was in pain as it started to work on his flesh. Deadpool started to scream, hoping someone would hear him. And someone did.

?:" Did anyone hear that."

?:" Are you drinking again? Last time I checked these don't talk back, especially when they're dead."

Deadpool:" HEY, GET ME OUT OF THIS PRESSURE COOKER!"

?:" Ok that time I heard somebody, someone is still alive in there."

?." Then get them out you idiot."

It was starting to be too little too late as the acid slowly cooked Deadpool's flesh. He didn't know who was out there, but now was not the time to rely on a stranger to save you. He reached back down into his pouch to pull out his last resort. A cherry bomb the size of his fist. He quickly swam over to one of the corpses while picking up the still lit flare. The fuses were water proof, which is why they go so well lit in a toilet, but this time he lit the bomb and put it under the acid and beneath the corpse.

Deadpool:" Sorry buddy, but If I get stuck here I'll keep on burning until judgment day."

He braced himself, using the corpse as a buffer between him and the bomb. Suddenly it the bomb burst, launching the corpse with Deadpool. They both ripped through their prison, and Deadpool saw light as he was hurled in the air, naked, with bits of his suit on his pouches, and no mask. He landed on fresh dried dirt that kicked up when he impacted. Once he collected himself, he stood up a little dizzy from the whiplash. Then a firing squad showed up pointing rifles at Deadpools head. The soldiers had on the same uniform as the corpses in whatever Deadpool escaped from. One of them moved out of the way the way to let someone Deadpool assumed was in charge pass by to meet the "intruder." He was a shorter than Deadpool, wearing the same light brown jacket, boots and a butt load of buckles. His hair was black and parted down the middle as it hung down covering the top corners of his face. He looked at the now naked Deadpool covered in goo with narrow eyes that burned into his skull.

?:" You do realize you're cleaning all that up."

Deadpool:" Huh," He looked over to see where he had just come out of. It was some sort of giant, laying on its back dead with a new hole from what Deadpool assumed was his stomach that was in pieces all over the perimeter. " Dude give me a chance to heal ok," All the guards watched as his burn marks from the acid disappeared.

?:" Sir give us the orders to take him down, he's obviously a Titan that infiltrated the wall through the other larger one."

Deadpool:' Titan?," he looke down to notice he was still in his boxers. Regardless he had to make a penis joke. " It's more like a slightly curved Kielbasa , but hey if you think there's a Titan in my undies who am I to argue."

CLICK

Deadpool:" Ahh, are we jealous," his words were silence when the man who was telling him to clean up his mess hammer fisted his head, bringing him back flat on the ground and proceeded to step on the back of his neck repeatedly. He stopped when he realized it wasn't doing any good. The man knelt to confront Deadpool.

?:" You have some explaining to do after you clean the guts off my clean dirt. My associate Hange would love to pick your brain."

Deadpool:" I've heard that before, but I don't put out for strangers, who are you and where the hell am I?"

?:" Levi Ackerman, leader of the Special Operations Squad of the Survey Corp," His monotone voice suddenly got deeper. And as far as you're concerned this is hell, " He punched him in the jaw hard enough to knock him unconscious," and I'm the Devil. "