Still Monday

I spun around at that voice, and spotted Taelor walking towards me. I swallowed nervously. I might have planned this conversation out in my head, but that didn't mean it would go as planned. Life rarely did. The occasion when I planned to tell Anna of my powers before my twenty-first birthday came to mind. I'd promised myself that I would tell her the whole truth after the party, which I had, in the end, after causing an eternal winter in the middle of summer.

Why an 'eternal winter'? I wondered, smiling nervously at Taelor. It barely lasted a day.

He stopped in front of me and I dragged my mind back from pondering Anna's sense of drama. My mind only ever wandered when I was nervous.

Taelor met my eyes and raised his eyebrow. He didn't need to type it into his phone for me to understand that he was asking me why I had wanted to talk to him. I clasped my hands in front of me as I spoke.

"I wanted to apologise for the way I reacted," I said. "I should have known better, having powers myself."

I shouldn't have surprised you so. I know how much you value your privacy. I stiffened at the sound of his voice in my mind. Oh, sorry. I shouldn't have done that, he apologised, pulling out his phone.

"It's fine," I muttered.

"No it's not. Don't try to lie to a mind-reader," he said, smiling at me. I tried to return his smile.

"You know how much I value my privacy?" I asked. "How did you know that?" He must have caught the edge of ice in my voice because he frowned, startled.

"It's hard to miss. Even if I couldn't read your mind, it would be pretty obvious." His frown deepened slightly. "That's what has you so upset, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes. Like you said, I value my privacy." I inwardly winced at the frosty tone of voice I was using. He nodded.

"Do you want me to explain?" He shivered. "Inside, perhaps? It's cold out here." I winced. Here I was thinking I had my powers under control.

Taelor guided me into the café and pulled out a chair for me. "Coffee?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yes, please." I fiddled with my gloves while he made it, watching as Anna shoved Kristoff out of the room in that unsubtle way of hers, following after him and giving us some privacy. Except I had no privacy here, did I? Not with Taelor's talents.

I took a deep breath, reminding myself why I was here. I would apologise, listen to his explanation, and leave. Whether or not I returned depended on how well he explained himself.

He sat down in front of me and handed me my coffee, smiling. He had a cup for himself. "Hot chocolate," he explained. I nodded and took a sip of my coffee.

I looked down at it in shock, and then up at Taelor. It was exactly how I liked it, as though I had made it myself. He grinned, neither confirming nor denying my suspicions. "Okay," I said. "Explain your powers then." He nodded, becoming much more serious.

"I have no control over reading minds or not. I can control how much I read, but it is inevitable that I will read at least the emotions of others. You see, Elsa, a person's mind is in layers. The outer layer is just emotions, and that is all I can read most of the time, although 'read' isn't really the correct word." He snorted. "There is really no correct word for what I do. I'll just have to explain it as best as I can." He frowned and began typing again, much more slowly.

"Emotions are perhaps the easiest to explain. Have you read about empaths?" I nodded. "My talents are very similar there. For some reason, authors always get empaths right when they talk about them, and just portray mind-readers wrong. I feel the emotions of others as though they are my own, but they are separate in a way that I cannot explain. I don't fear spiders because my brother does and I don't fall for his girlfriend because he loves her. I feel the love, or the fear, or whatever it is, as separate to my own emotions, but I still feel them." He smiled nervously. "With me so far?"

"I think so. Minds are in layers and emotions are the outer layer and you feel them as though they were your own, but separate." He nodded, taking a gulp of his hot chocolate.

"The next layer is thoughts, but not very private thoughts. Just thoughts that you might say next or thoughts that your surroundings have inspired. I sometimes pick up on these if I'm not careful, and I mostly just let myself hear them, because this layer doesn't usually hold the most private stuff; stuff that you would tell me if I walked up and asked you about it."

"You said you 'hear' them, but before you said you 'read' minds." He sighed and nodded.

"There is no real way to explain it, as I said earlier. I 'hear' thoughts as though people have spoken them." I winced. In a crowd... A crowd can be deafening, yes. I jumped and glared at him. He held up his hands in surrender. "Sorry, sorry. I won't do it again, I promise." He paused, and sighed again.

"The next layer of thoughts is confusing. It can be anything from reminders of what you have to do later that day, or vague worries. It's never very clear, just half-formed thoughts and feelings, which makes it hard to get any sense out of these thoughts at all. In my opinion, our minds evolved this way deliberately, so that this vague, unformed layer could act as a buffer, protecting us from our other worries." He gave me a nervous smile. "This is where it gets complicated."

"The first two layers of our thoughts is like our conscious mind. Anything that we are thinking about is there. The next layer is far more difficult to explain. This layer holds our fears, our deep abiding worries that follow us on a day-to-day basis, but that we're not always thinking about. Like if a family member had cancer; you wouldn't think about it all the time, but you would still know it. The third layer is where that worry would reside. This is the most private layer, the layer that holds all of your secrets and fears, and I try very hard to avoid this layer of thoughts."

"Try?" I asked. He grimaced, sighing and running a hand through his hair.

"If a person is thinking of any deep worry or fear then I may pick up on it before I have time to realise it. Also, in some people, the layers aren't very well defined and their mind is just one huge ball of thoughts and feelings rammed in together. Olaf is a bit like that."

"Olaf?" I asked, panicking. He held his hands out.

"It doesn't mean that anything is wrong with him. It's just a measure of...well, that's difficult to explain too. He is always happy. Nothing seems to bother him for long. This is because any deep, abiding worries that he has don't have a third layer of his mind to retreat to, so it just instantly vanishes. It's actually a good thing." I looked at him suspiciously.

"You're sure?" I asked. He nodded.

"The people like that, without fail, are the happiest people I have ever met." I nodded, relieved.

"Is there anything else to thoughts?" I asked. "Any other layers to the mind?" He nodded.

"There is one other layer, but I know next to nothing about it. The fourth layer is the layer that is 'you'. The part that defines who you are. For you and me, that is where our power is; that deepest part of us. This fourth layer is beyond conscious thought, which is why our powers are governed by emotion and are very difficult to get control of without controlling how you feel." It was strange, hearing someone else mention powers and the difficulties they had controlling them, which just made me feel even more ashamed of how I had acted.

"This layer also holds our memories and our personality. That is why I don't look that far into someone's mind – not only will I have to go through very private parts of the mind, but I will also know each of that person's memories, and..." He shrugged. "It's just not right to do that."

I nodded, finishing my coffee and staring absently at the table. It was so much to take in, and I was feeling increasingly guilty for reacting to Taelor's gifts in the way that I had. I of all people should have understood him, but on top of my argument with Anna, my mistaken assumption that he had invaded my privacy had been the last straw. I just hadn't been able to take it. The same thing had happened at my birthday; the pressure of staying in control whilst surrounded by so many people had been wearing away at me, and when Anna came to me, saying she wanted to get married, to someone that she had just met... it had just been too much.

Elsa's guilt was aggravating my own conscience, reminding me of my own mistakes. I took a deep breath and tapped the table to get Elsa's attention. She looked up from the coffee mug she had been studying, her ice-blue eyes swimming with guilt. I was reminded of how I had felt when I had found her in the park – furious that no one else was helping her, that no one could she how hurt she was. I remembered the promise that I had made to myself. Never again.

"I also want to apologise," I said. "As I've said, I know how much you value your privacy, and I should have been more careful and descried my talents better. I of all people should have known how you would have reacted. I'm sorry. I should have thought before just blurting out the fact that I could read minds. You were upset anyway; I of all people should have been more careful." Elsa smiled gently, but none of her guilt lessened.

"It wasn't your fault, Taelor," she said, sighing. "I acted completely unacceptably and I should have known better. I mean, I've spent my whole life fearing that someone would react to my powers in the way that I reacted towards yours."

"Shall we stop playing the blame game and just accept that we're both at fault? We both made a mistake, and we both should have known better, and at least neither of us will ever do it again."

She smiled sadly, shaking her head. "If we're ever in a position to do it again." I smiled.

"You never know; we might discover someone who's telekinetic next, or who can shape shift." I grinned.

"That would be a discovery," she agreed, laughing. I laughed too, glad that I'd been able to get rid of some of her guilt.

She sighed and looked at her watch. "I'd better be going," she said regretfully. "I've got to get Olaf and Anna home." I nodded, standing as well and taking her coffee cup. She paused at the door. "Will you be here tomorrow?" she asked nervously. I nodded, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, why?" She shrugged.

"Olaf's been insisting that he can't do his maths homework without your help," she replied, but in her mind I could see the truth – she'd enjoyed talking.

"I'd be glad to help," I replied, smiling. She smiled back and left, the door shutting quietly behind her.

I grinned and walked out to Jon's car, whistling as I did so. That went well.

I think this is probably the longest chapter that I've written (yet). I know it's all a bit technical, but I thought that would be the best way for Taelor to explain his powers in a way that would help Elsa accept them. Let me know what you think?