It was another peaceful afternoon at Whale Island. It was very hot outside, so Gon and Killua decided to stay at home. They lay on the floor in Gon's room. Killua played with the Joystation, and Gon watched him.
The game Killua played wasn't too interesting and he soon noticed, that Gon's attention wasn't directed at it but rather at the player himself. The white-haired boy saw from the corner of his eyes, that Gon is staring at him the way, which made his stomach do awkward backflips. He chose to ignore it, but after a while he couldn't focus on the game, so he put down the controller and looked at his friend with a bored expression.
"What is it?" He then asked and let out a loud sigh. Gon looked like he was going to say something weird or embarrassing.
"I was just looking at your skin" answered Gon casually, like it's the most common thing to do so.
"Huh?" It was now Killua's turn to stare at the other. "What are you talking about, you weirdo?"
"Your skin is so white compared to mine" pointed Gon out unphased by Killua's previous comment. "See?" He stretched out his arm to his friends, so the difference between their skintones became more visible.
"And? What's up with it?" Killua still couldn't understand what Gon wanted to say, or why he even bought that up: the difference between them was obvious, one could immadiatelly notice it.
"Nothing in particular" started Gon, tilting his head to the side. "I just noticed it when we arrived here. You're almost glowing in the sunlight!" He chuckled.
"Of course i'm pale!" Killua said in a lecturing tone. "If i would have been surrounded by sunlight my whole life like you, i wouldn't be so pale. But since i was locked away in that creepy dark mansion and only went out at night, i –"
He couldn't finish his explanation, his words got stuck in his throat when the other boy reached out and gently stroked his arm with his fingers.
"But it looks like you've got a little bit tanner since we're here" Gon's smile was soft as he caressed his arm.
"Strong solar rays and stuff..." Killua muttered cursing inwardly for being so dazed just because Gon touched him. Still, his chest felt hot and a light pink bluch crept on his face. Luckily Gon didn't notice, he was too absorbed in examining the white-haired boys skin.
"I like it's tone" Gon stated and looked at his friend now. "It's the complete opposite of me, but it suits you."
Killua just shrugged as if he didn't care, but in fact his throat tightened so much, that he couldn't say a word. He always says embarrassing things, he thought to himself. He just blurts out whatever's on his mind...
Silence fell upon them, Killua was about to pick up the controller, when Gon crawled closer to him and grabbed his wirst and pulled it towards himself.
"What now?" Killua shot an exasperated glare at the shorter boy, but he didn't even flinch. Instead he stared at Killua's hand with widened eyes.
"Even our hands are so different!" Gon wondered as if it would be a big deal. The white-haired boy looked at him dumbfounded because is he even real?, but before he could react, Gon lifted his hand and fit their palms together. Killua jolted slightly at the sudden contact. "Your fingers are longer than mine."
It was true. Killua's hand looked almost delicate with his long and thin fingers. Gon's fingers where shorter and thicker, as their palms touched Killua could feel calluses on his friends warm skin. That's what you get from swinging that fishing rod too much! The thought amused him, a small smile lurked in the corner of his mouth.
Gon watched his friend with a triumphant smile, this time he wasn't cut off nor being called a weirdo or an idiot, he didn't get lectured – the other boy was as much absorbed in studying their hands as he was. But more importantly, Killua didn't pull his hand away, as Gon anticipated. Their palms were still touching, Killua's skin was colder at the beginning, but by now it was almost as warm as his. It felt good.
They both stared at their hands for a while, neither of them wanted to break the contact. But Killua then cleared his throat and said quietly: "Will you let me play now?" He could handle only this much physical contact for now. Gon frowned.
"Oh, come on, that game was so boring! Let me play with your hand instead!"
Killua snorted at the selfish request at first, but shrugged after a little thinking. The game was indeed boring, and Gon's touch felt much better... he wasn't used to being touched like this, but it wasn't bad at all. The urge to pull away wasn't so strong anymore. "Do what you want" he said, and Gon's features lit up immadiatelly. What a spoiled brat...
Gon directed his attention at the pale hand in front of him, his eyes shone with excitement, because Killua actually allowed him to have his way. He took his friends hand in both of his hands, closed the long fingers then spread them again with a wide smile on his face. Killua watched him all the time, Gon looked like he has a lot of fun, as if doing this would be the most fun thing to do. The sight was silly, but Killua felt himself growing warmer, and he couldn't help but smile at his idiotic friend.
Meanwhile Gon turned Killua's hand upwards and gave him a mysterious look. "Do you want me to do some fortune telling?"
"As if you know, how to do that!" Killua snorted and tried to flick Gon's nose, but the boy avoided it easily. "That's just superstition anyway, nothing more."
"I don't think so" protested Gon smiling. "Once i've met an old lady at the harbor and she predicted my future."
"She's obviously made up everything on the spot" Killua shrugged nonchalantly.
"She's told me, that i'll have to overcome many obstacles to reach my goal, but i'll find very good friends along the way" Gon's smile grew warmer. "That's quite accurate, don't you think?"
"Whatever" Killua murmured, feeling hot again and he wanted to pull his hand away, but Gon held it firmly. The shorter boy now caressed the light lines on Killua's palm while humming.
They fell into silence again, Gon played with Killua's fingers, and the white-haired boy watched him. Every touch of Gon was so gentle and caring even though he just played around. Gon's honey-brown eyes were so pure, his smile was so warm as he was playing with Killua's hand. That very hand, which took so many lives before... now that Killua realised this, it felt almost wrong, that someone as innocent and pure as Gon touched his dirty, blood-stained hand. He wanted to pull it away, but Gon took his hand into his again.
"Your hands are so nice!" Chirped Gon.
"They're not!" Growled Killua and ripped his and from Gon's grip. The other boy looked at him slightly shocked and confused from the sudden mood change. Killua sat up ashamed and turned his face away. Gon sat up too.
"Did i say something wrong?" He then asked quietly. Killua sent a glare in his direction.
"Do you know how many people i've killed with these nice hands?" He hissed at the shorter boy. He knew it wasn't fair to take out his quilty feelings on Gon, but he couldn't stop himself. "Do you know how many hearts i've ripped out, how many throats i've tore open with these nice hands?"
Gon remained silent, watching his upset friend with earnest eyes, as if he was waiting for Killua to let off steam, what made the white-haired boy angrier. "Did you really wanted to do those things?" Gon's voice was still quiet.
"What?" Killua didn't anticipated this question.
Gon repeated it again, but Killua still looked at him confused. "You didn't want to do those things, didn't you? You just did them, because your family said so. Because you were taught to do so" Gon crawled closer to his friend so their knees touched, took his hand again, and placed it on his own cheek. Killua's eyes widened at this action. "You never wanted to do those things, this is why you ran away from home. And you don't do anything like that anymore, right? You helped with these hands Zushi too, right? You're not a bad person, Killua. No matter what, i think your hands are nice, i really like them!" He flashed that typical bright smile of his at Killua.
The white-haired boy sat there frozen. It was true, he didn't want to kill anyone, he just did it, because his family told him to do so. He never wanted to take anyones life, but failure meant punishment and endless torturing. His family let him no choice, but he ran away, he didn't want to do this anymore. And now, he sat here with Gon, with this simple minded idiot, with his friend, who never judged him for being an assassin, and who just told him, it wasn't his fault, he wasn't a bad person. Suddenly he remembered the Hunter Exam and his words to his older brother: I want to become friends with Gon. And then another voice, another words echoed in his mind: Then let's stick together! Killua still didn't know, what he wanted to do in the future, but right now, he really, really wanted these things.
As he saw Gon's sweet smile, all he could do was hiding his eyes behind his long bangs while a single teardrop rolled down his cheek.
"...Idiot..."
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