The Facebook Incident

Ketti: So, I wrote this when dad abducted me to his office after breakfast. I'm home now to edit it, for those who saw it before this updated note. *fixes any typos*
This isn't the Facebook Incident mentioned in Teggie's PowerPoint, but probably lead up to it!

Seras Victoria was bored, cursing her insomnia as the sun shone cheerfully outside. If only she could go out there and play in the grass…

Blowing her bangs out of her face with a put-upon sigh, the little blonde decided to pull out her new laptop that Sir Integra had given her for her birthday. She was twenty-five now, but still looked not a day over nineteen, since that was the age she died. "Bloody vampires," the girl grumbled, then grinned wryly.

She'd joined Facebook after some of the soldiers asked If she had one, and after the gift of the laptop, she really had no excuse not to. She honestly admitted she used it for the games.

Looking around furtively for any spying eyes, taking extra precautions to look for a splash of red where it didn't belong, she grinned and loaded her newest addiction; FarmVille2. The horses were so cute! Grinning madly, she sent her little blonde farmer off to feed her animals, giggling as the horses bunched up to give her the horeshoes and fertilizer she needed for her crops. Ooh… New quest! Score.

Clicking happily, she frowned at the required post clicking. "Damnit, it's just past sunrise, no one's awake right now."

Huffing, she finished the other two requirements, then stared at her 'Collect 3 Flags' section. 0/3 collected.

This was going to take forever!

And Sir would strangle her for wasting money on such a silly game.

Pouting, she opened her contacts to check if anyone was awake. Blast!

Banging her head onto her desk, she groaned and decided to quit for now. Maybe she'd go play Puzzle Charms?

So she did, and cursed the rabbits the whole time. "Damnit, I'm out of lives!"

Huffing and pacing her room like a caged beast, she glanced furtively up at the ceiling.

Sir Integra had a Facebook… She'd given in to Seras' whining and played the games to send the little vampire lives to shut her up.

Maybe Sir was awake?

Walter never went near the silly games, despite the Draculina's begging, and her Master flat out refused under punishment of 'more training' – which meant he'd throw her off the roof, or trip her down the stairs to 'test her reaction time' so he could laugh at her when she landed on her face – and she knew the Wild Geese were all sleeping in after their night of drinking in the barracks.

Sir Hellsing It was!

Determined to finish at least one more level before giving in the need for sleep, Seras Victoria walked up to her wall and took a deep unnecessary breath before stepping forward into the stone.

She wasn't as good at this sort of thing as her Master, but she could manage well enough to travel through the manor walls.

Emerging triumphantly in the Hellsing Heiress' bedroom, Seras' shoulders slumped to find her still in bed.

Biting her lip, she tip toed up and nudged the elder blonde's shoulder gently. "Sir Integr-AHH!"

Integra, reacting on instinct to the vampire threat she sensed in her room, had reached under her pillow and shot the Draculina in the shoulder. Flying back into the wall, she yowled like a scalded cat and clutched at the smoking wound, blue eyes wild with pain.

Walter appeared not a moment later, wires flashing between his fingers, only to stop dead at the sight of the fledgling rolling on the floor in agony. Integra sat up straight on the bed and stared in horror at the writhing Draculina. "Seras!"

Alucard, perhaps feeling some insomnia himself, melted up out of the floor seconds later and took quick stock of the situation. His Police Girl must have startled his Master, and Sir Integra had a habit of sleeping with her gun loaded with blessed silver. She had actually taken up the habit a few years after waking him from his forced slumber. He smirked inwardly at the thought of his teenage Master and how he loved to sneak up on her at night to torment her about her wet dreams. Ahh… memories.

But this was no time for introspection, his fledgling needed help.

"Seras," Sir Integra repeated, sounding concerned, "Didn't I tell you not to sneak up on me?!"

He knew she was only acting angry out of concern, so ignored her, and knelt by the blonde's side to pin her to the floor with one hand, snarling warningly at her when she lashed out at him. She stilled with a whimper, red glazing her once blue eyes, pupils dilated with confusion and pain.

Reaching for her shoulder, he pushed the bloody shirt aside, and inspected the oozing crater. Spotting the glint of silver he was looking for, his fingers stabbed down and in one swift jerk, plucked the bullet from the meat of her shoulder. Her back arched so far he was mildly surprised it didn't snap, and she screamed like a banshee.

"Police Girl," he rumbled when she slumped back, face pale and expression pinched, "what on earth made you think it was a good idea to wake my Master?"

The exhausted Draculina whimpered, looking away from her Master, "I just wanted her to send me an extra life on Puzzle Charms…"

He snorted then barked a mocking laugh as he scooped the little thing up in his arms, "You idiot. I told you not to play those ridiculous games."

"Seras," Integra spoke before her vampires quit the room, "never do that again!" Her tone was firm, scolding, and Seras wilted further. "But I'll log in later and send you the bloody lives," she conceded, and Seras perked up at once, "thank you, Sir!"

"Now get out of here and go to bed!" She snapped, banishing the two, "I still have another two hours before that Round Table meeting, and I mean to get some more rest."

Alucard bowed, a bit mockingly, and melted into the floor.

The first stop was the kitchen to feed his idiotic fledgling some blood, then he tossed her into her coffin, took away her laptop, and sat on the lid until she stopped shouting at him and went to sleep.

The Facebook Incident was never mentioned again. The End.