a/n: hey. People wanted more, so here's more. -fs

Tony flopped down next to Peter at the dining room table.

"Hey, kid."
"Hey."

He poured himself a drink, sipped, and pulled a face.

"Isn't it a little late for you to be awake?"
"Or a little early. Pepper will kill me, but sleep doesn't really work for me anymore. Something called PTSD. I go to sleep in the arms of a beautiful lady, then wake up in a sweaty mess an hour later with visions of falling through space and being blown backwards as my windows are bombed. Or of… Well. Never mind. I could say the same to you."

Peter shrugged.

"Don't really sleep either. For a similar reason. Every time I shut my eyes I see Gwen's father bleeding out and making me promise to leave her alone. Or her hitting the floor. Or her blank expression with that little bit of blood. I, uh. I dunno."

Tony shuddered.

"You know, Pepper fell from a crane."
"Huh?"
"Yeah. 200ft at least. Into a wall of fire."

He sighed.

"It's not gonna help unless I tell you the whole story. Remember the Mandarin?"
"Who couldn't, huh?"
"Yeah. Well, the lady who created Extremis had a fling with me at the millennium. Nothing special, obviously, lots of women have had flings with me. But we met a guy in the lift. He wanted to speak to me about some stuff, I wanted to get laid. I was a jerk. Cap says I still am, but I'm nowhere near as bad. I left him waiting on the roof. Years later when I met him again he said he debated stepping off. Part of me wishes he had."

Tony took another drink.

"Either way, I was rude to him. I let him down and I let her down by vanishing the next morning without finishing the equation to stabilise her virus. And when you let people down, they have a habit of finding each other. People with similar grudges get attracted and they come together to hurt the one person who hurt them."
"I know that feeling."
"Yeah. I know you do. But you don't have my unfailing luck. They tried to kill me in the Mandarin's name. Pepper nearly died in that explosion, and that's something I can't forgive myself for. I got away, she, stupidly, went with Hansen. She trusts people when she shouldn't. Killian and her took Pepper and injected her with an unstable virus that could cause her to explode to force me to stabilise it. So they could weaponise it. And I already have too much weapon guilt on my hands, you gotta understand that Peter. I needed to save Pepper. And she fell. I promise I'd catch her, but she fell."

Tony looked stricken, as though he was about to be sick.

"But I was lucky. Never ending luck. Extremis saved her, and she saved me. Again. After everything I put her through, she always saves me. I can't ever put her in danger again. But that doesn't mean she won't put herself in danger trying to help me."

Peter nodded, sadly.

"I got a happy ending, Peter. But I could be like you. I beat myself up on a regular basis. So if you ever need someone to talk to, remember where I am. I know."
"Does it get easier?"
"Not sure. I'm still guilty, but she talks me out of it. You haven't got that chance. But Peter, you weren't like me. You weren't rude or arrogant. You were trying to help. Everything that happens to Pepper is solely on me. I don't think Gwen's on you. It's on people so damaged that they don't function right anymore. You helped people, whereas I spent years damaging people. I didn't realise until I was too old to go back and mend everything I'd done. You've been born with a gift that I never was. You're gonna feel guilty, don't get me wrong. And sad. And angry, and hateful. But you can't let that get in the way. I'm sure Gwen wouldn't want that."
"She wouldn't. She was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Tony pretended to be upset.

"I give you a room in my house and invite you into my supergroup and I'm still not the best thing?"

Peter laughed.

"Hey, Tony?"
"Yeah."
"If you're not gonna sleep, do you wanna play a videogame with me?"

Tony paused for a second.

"Yeah. Okay. Hey, there's one on the internet based on us."
"There is?"
"Yup. How about we download it and play as ourselves. Troll the hell out of the nerds sitting trying to be us!"

Peter smiled, broadly.

"Okay, that sounds like a hell of a lot of fun."
"Alright. Find some laptops and I'll make some snacks."