Levi had his forehead pressed to the foggy window, letting the glass channel the cool early-winter frost to his feverish complexion. He had caught the flu… It was as if his immune system had held out right up until they secured Christa's throne and he had laid down that night before puking out what little food he had had that day...he also suspected he must have thrown up the lining of his stomach since he didn't remember swallowing anything besides a quarter of his bread for lunch in the two days preceding that. Hanji had scolded him, telling him it was because of his lack of eating that he had gotten sick, that he shouldn't have stressed himself out about this last mission. He had simply taken her berating disappointment because frankly he didn't want to tell her why he hadn't eaten…

He remembered the look on the cadets' faces as their meager rations ran out before their eyes. They were fucking 16 and 17 year olds who were growing, and yet they often sacrificed their bread to feed Christa who needed to be strong for the throne, or Mikasa and Eren who needed the strength to fight for them all, or worse, force feeding a sobbing and regretful Armin so he could think up some plan for them all. Levi had been walking to his office, grumbling to himself about the fact he was given more food than the normal soldier because he was 'humanity's strongest' when he saw the first instance of this self sacrificing behavior… how when those who had been given food finally gave in, the others would stare off vacantly clutching their stomachs or trying to distract themselves in other ways from the hunger. He remembered Connie still trying to force Sasha to eat his meal, as her metabolism demanded more than the average person, her pale visage and involuntary shaking scaring him.
He had flown in angrily and threw his entire meal plan for the day on the table, telling them he found extra food, and if they told anyone goddamn else he found extra food, he would all kick their goddamn teeth in, and you know what, all of them had to eat some of the food, and that was an order. He didn't need future soldiers as short and malnutritioned as he was, was that clear?
A resounding "YESSIR" was heard.

He shouldered the hunger they would have, falling back into the familiar feeling as he would the embrace of an unwelcome, but loving parent. Hunger was what raised him, shaped him. He might as well revert to it in his old age… old age. Ugh. He was in his thirties and saying that…

He shook against the window as the bile rose up again and bent his shoulders while clutching the small bin he'd been vomiting into.

"G-Goddamn…" He spit out the remaining bile in his mouth, "Disgusting…"

A knock on the door alerted him to Erwin's presence and he groaned in fear. Hanji had found out about his condition this morning when she went to collect him for a meeting about what the game plan was now, but had let him stay curled up in the cushy castle room provided for him to rest. She had, as his doctor, ordered him to stay in his 'cute little pjs' and she would send up someone to care for him as soon as possible. As soon as possible was apparently after three agonizing hours in which he had untangled himself from the bed, moved to the window to cool off, and had subsequently been unable to move from there, so he was simultaneously overheating and cold as all hell… He shivered and found himself too pissed off about it all to call for Erwin to come in. He hoped Erwin wasn't his makeshift nurse for the day or else he would be subject to the knowledge that the Commander would have to see how disgusting he was.

The door opened and Erwin scanned the room, and upon finding the small man curled up tightly on the windowsill he slammed the door behind him and advanced quickly. Levi was going to admit, fevers made him a little delirious, so Erwin may or may not be using his "Charge" face, as the cadets called it, but… Levi was definitely seeing Erwin's "Charge" face as he moved toward him. It made him vomit again.

Erwin sighed and, no, in reality he was not using his "Charge" face, he was too concerned for his little Colonel to strain his features in such a way. He drew up a chair that sat below the sill, but even sitting at a lower elevation his height towered over the sulking Levi's. In a sort of consolation, he gently rubbed Levi's hunched back. "Hanji said you were sick… but I wasn't expecting this." He really hadn't been. He'd seen Levi sick before, sneezing adorably into a handkerchief, coughing so hard his little body seemed to seize, or even getting a bit dazed and pink around the edges with fever, but never this indisposed…

The man was dwarfed by his pajamas which were once tailored to fit him, but now hung loose over his skeletal features, his face was pale and drawn except for cheeks reddened by fever, his eyes glazed slightly… "Don't patronize me, old man…" And worse his breathing was quick as if simply speaking exhausted him. Erwin softened his expression, so this was Humanity's Strongest's weakness: the common stomach flu. He shook his head and picked up Levi easily, even with one arm, simply tilting his body to hold him better. The smaller man kicked and struggled harshly for one second before gasping for air and going limp in Erwin's arm.

"Hush, Levi, don't strain yourself."

"Don't strain...ugh…" Levi paused to sniff and wipe his nose, "Yourself. Or… Some sassy...some sassy shit or something…" He let his head roll over to rest on Erwin's heart. "Nice heartbeat…" He mumbled, his eyes glazing over again and drooping sleepily. Erwin paused in his footsteps and looked down in shock at his subordinate, almost certain his heartbeat had fluttered in pride at the complement. He closed his eyes and told himself to stop thinking such things of Levi, told himself he had to stop this before it became a habit, all the while knowing it had already been a habit since the day he had first laid eyes on the man.

As he laid Levi in his bed he reviewed in shame and secret joy all the moments where his heart acted of its own accord under the care of Levi's rough-hewn language and demeanor. Every morning tea they sipped in silence together, every side-by-side walk, every shared glance, and certainly every time he saw that man fight titans… He shook his head and smiled, brushing the hair off Levi's brow, knowing he could just brush the act off as another part of Levi's hallucinogenic fevers if he ever woke to find Erwin doting on him. He let himself grin as he remembered the first day he met Levi, watching him move so fluidly through the air and being entirely certain his speed was 50% his skill and 50% his aerodynamic form… He had to bite his lip to keep from chuckling as he remembered describing to Mike that he liked to think of Eren, Mikasa, and Levi as Humanity's secret weapons. They came in three varieties, respectively: Jumbo, regular, and pocket sized.

He rose and removed the bin Levi was clutching still and cleaned it quickly, returning before he decided to vomit again. He began to busy himself making Levi a cool compress, tucking him in, getting him water whenever he dazedly tried to get it...One time the poor man went so far as to motion his hands as if using 3D maneuver gear as he attempted to rise off the bed, only to fall when he had adjusted his balance to accommodate the jerk from the gear that would never come. Erwin had let it happen because it was too hilarious, his laughter drawing the attention of Connie and Sasha passing by outside. They hurried in, not quite certain what the commander was doing, having never heard him laugh so hard.

Erwin simply explained the situation, telling them it would be fine as he ushered them from the room, "Levi just has the stomach flu, Hanji just said he was too nervous to eat and that he would be alright soon enough. You have no need to worry."

"Too nervous to eat?" Sasha turned to look at Connie, and Erwin took note of the silent discussion that the two shared in that one look.

"Is something the matter?"

Just as Sasha opened her mouth to answer Connie elbowed her, trying quickly to cover his action by taking her hand and shouting, "It's just strange to Sasha that he wouldn't eat, I mean, food is like, Sasha's life. So...uh...speaking of which we should get food, right Sasha? Haha, don't want to be malnutritioned, right?"

Sasha seemed confused for a second before jolting and nodding vigorously, having obviously just remembered something important, "Yes, don't want to be malnutritioned. And short. Like Corporel Levi, he wouldn't wan-" Another elbow to the sternum and Connie was bodily dragging her from the room.

"Well, better go get un-malnutritioned. Bye, Commander!"

Erwin just stood staring after them a few seconds with a puzzled look playing across his features, wondering not for the first time what the hell Shadis had done to the 104th batch of soldiers to make them, pardon his French, so fucking weird.

He did as he always did with any 104th experience, as he referred to them, and took it in stride, certain that an answer would eventually turn up in the mess hall. He returned to Levi, whom he'd left curled up on the floor from his fall, and sighed. He placed the unconscious Levi back in his bed and sat vigil over the man he loved dearly, but was too scared to admit it to. He took this once in a lifetime opportunity to take Levi's small hand in his and hold it carefully, memorizing its features for when they walked together so that in the long silences between exchanged words he could stuff his hand in his pocket and pretend that Levi had let him hold his hand as they strode together.

His heart ached at that and he felt loneliness devour him in the face of the one person who could fulfill his whole life… If only he would let him hold his hand…

Erwin didn't know where the hours went, only that they did, and soon the days had flown by. As they progressed Levi's fever slipped away and so did the opportunities for Erwin to touch his hair affectionately or hold his hand or carry him around. He felt his heart constricting the more aware Levi became, and yet he was happiest knowing that he was alright. He was thinking over these things he would miss as he observed Levi's resting features, their hands dangerously close to each other on the bed, when Levi's words sent a shock through him, "What are you smiling so fondly at?"

Erwin stilled and felt his throat constrict, trying to act as if nothing were any different, "Just glad that the worst is behind us."

"Hmpf. You say that but when I go to the bathroom-"
"Levi, don't be crass."

"That's like asking you not to work."

"I haven't been working." He smiled smugly. He hadn't, Christa had been handling things splendidly with Pixis, both insisting he just relax and let them take care of things for a week, at the very least.

"Yeah, but you've been taking care of me."

"I don't call that work."

"I'm disgusting and gross, it's not exactly a vacation."

"It's been entertaining."

"...What do you mean?" Levi had only five expressions that Erwin had ever seen: one that was uncaring, one that was exceptionally uncaring, one that was devastated, one that was disgusted, and, currently, one that was pissed off.

"Oh, nothing. Just that your hallucinogenic state is nothing short of adorable." Erwin berated himself for using the adjective adorable.

Levi closed his eyes, preparing himself, "What did I do?"

"Well, a couple times you tried using 3D gear to move… you threatened a bit of dirt I dragged in from outside one day… You drew a diagram of a person in a titan neck in the frost on the window and tried to teach invisible people about how to kill titans… When Hanji came in to visit and tell you some of her new theories about titans, you said you theorized that if she ever had a baby it would come out like a miniature titan, to which she got excited and ran off… You told Eren that his eyes were like the sky and that he should shut them because it was making you dizzy to think about the sky being in someone's skull… You told Mikasa she should stop chasing after Eren because he is obviously asexual, to which Eren asked what asexual meant but you deflected it by saying he was a plant… You told Jean he was obviously gay for 'that guy Marco Bott, but the way you guys act he's like some fucking freckled Jesus or some shit,' so Jean is sulking at the moment… You told Connie and Sasha they shouldn't have children because they would either eat the children in their hunger or the children would devour them in their sleep… You told Christa she was the best person ever and admitted it was because she was the only one shorter than you… You also let Ymir know that she could marry Christa only if she let you give Christa away on her wedding day…On a less happy note you held an extended conversation with the ghosts of Squad Levi and 'freckled Jesus' on how to clean their wings…" Erwin paused at this, "Levi, the 104th said they never told you Marco was freckled…"

"Tch, probably heard someone mention it… Don't give me that look." Levi didn't want to say it but he had been pretty sure of some things during the past two days: that there were moments that felt like dreaming, and others that were real. He remembered trying to use 3D gear, and the ghosts of the straps and triggers felt like a dream, he remembered trying to give lessons on how to cut people out of titans and that felt like a dream… But he remembered clearer talking with Hanji and the cadets and the way that Erwin cared for him…it was all cast in a sharper light. The very same light he saw in his be-winged squad and that strange freckled boy who's smile unnerved him with it's trust and joy. But who knew...diseases messed with your senses. It was probably some psychology shit about his subconscious wanting his friends to be by him or something… Who knew, he didn't… But he was definitely going to ask Jean if it was true he had a tattoo with Marco's name on his ass. Because if he did, he was going to be less surprised he had experienced freckled Jesus and more surprised that Jean would do something so tacky to remember the one he loved. He'd have to beat him over the head for that later on...

Erwin gave him a small smile, one that he knew was one of disbelief and some other emotion he might never put his finger on… "Alright… also, I should probably let you know…" Erwin chuckled and shook his head, covering his mouth before he could continue.

Levi tried to be mad, but really he felt so at ease with Erwin as the light slanted in over the two of them, comfortably reclining in their rare moment of rest, that he barely managed a scowl "What?"

"The cadets may have accidentally told everyone that you gave up your meals for them. The words 'we' 'love' and 'Levi' may have been spoken in the same sentence on multiple occasions, and humanity might have elevated you to an even higher status of saint and martyr."

"Those fucking brats… going to beat them senseless," Levi hid his eyes and shuddered. He hated the attention he got from humanity, couldn't he just do what he did in peace?

"They do love you, you know. You're like a father to them."

Levi rolled his eyes, "No more than you are."

"Well, I believe our parental roles are different, actually…" Erwin chuckled to himself again.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just… Well. I could be a father, but with all your scolding and feeding and cleaning and matchmaking I do believe you'd be considered the mother."

Levi turned to Erwin with dangerous severity, "Don't ever tell anyone that."

Erwin's mouth twitched as he tried to suppress his smile, "I wasn't the one who thought of it."

Levi sneered, "Hanji?"

"Who else?"

"God help me…" Levi sighed, looking out the window. He felt warmth travel through his arm and relaxed once more, the dull headache ebbing from the gentle feeling.

"Levi…" Erwin was staring at him weird, but he felt better than he had in days and decided not to aggravate his headache by getting aggravated over something else.

"Hm?"

"...Nothing."

As he drifted into sleep he tightened his hand around whatever was giving him warmth and began to realize in a haze that it was Erwin's hand. He yawned, "Don't let go while I'm sleeping or I'll kick your ass."

The last thing he remembered was some sort of relieved laugh and Erwin tightening his grip shakily.

Did that perverse old man really think Levi hadn't noticed the way he caressed and looked at him? Had he really thought that if Levi didn't want to be treated that way he would just lie there and take it, even sick? Imbecile.

He loved the bastard, but he just didn't know how to say it yet.

After so many years of coming up with futile idea after futile idea in an effort to express his love, he was sure he wasn't going to spontaneously think up a way to tell Erwin in his disheveled state, so he had been pressing valiantly towards wellness so that he could forge ahead in his mission to let Erwin know the depth of his feelings.

Little did he realize that taking Erwin's hand on his own had been enough.