Kazuko

Chapter Three:

The Song

"At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets."

-Steve Maraboli

Kenta struggled to bite back yet another groan as Makoto continued to stubbornly pull the door handle and yell for him to stop the car and open the door. She was perfectly capable of returning home on her own and didn't need "some prettyboy" to drive her home. He kept his eyes fixed on the road as he continued to ignore her orders. Already his head pulsed in slight pain, no doubt blowing into a full grown headache by the end of the night. Briefly, he contemplated listening to her, but an image of a glaring Minako complete with hands on her hips was quick to appear and dispel any continuing thoughts. It didn't, however, rid him of Makoto's rising screeches.

"Look! I'm asking nicely," he stated as he rubbed his forehead where the mounting pain was concentrated.

Makoto stopped yelling and abandoned jiggling the door handle in favor of turning towards him, mouth open, ready to direct another "prettyboy" insult to his face.

Kenta was quick to continue voicing his thoughts. "Can you please, please be quiet." he begged coming to a stop at a red light.

"Look," she began, ignoring his request and turning her body back towards the child-locked door, not even realizing she was using the same words as him, "this is perfect. We're stopped. I can walk home from here."

He dropped his head onto the steering wheel with a 'thunk', just slightly pressing down on the horn enough for it to blare onto the busy street. Not even a second had gone by before, simultaneously, horns went off from surrounding cars. The person driving in front of him stuck their head out the window and yelled back at him, "It's a red light! What exactly do you want me to do?" With that their head disappeared back into the car and Kenta felt his headache worsen.

Just great, he thought. More misunderstandings. Now everyone thinks I'm an ass.

This was not how he thought his day would turn out. He'd spent the majority of the previous day thinking about Makoto. Unsure of what he had done to have her flee his store in haste, he kept replaying the scene in his head. He wouldn't figure out what went wrong no matter how much he replaced the scene. All he knew, what he was certain of, was there was some connection between them. Never shy about his feelings, Kenta would admit that he felt connections all the time. The saucy smile of a woman. A playful wink directed towards him. The way eyes shined as passions were shared. He didn't want to be cliché and say this was different as so many were apt to say (and all the times he did say that). But it was and he couldn't deny it. It wasn't like he hadn't been rejected before, but this was the one of the few times he couldn't let it go. However, with his present situation he wished he could let it go. All he had to do was get out of the car and let Makoto be on her way. The likelihood of them meeting again was unknown. Minako was taking an indefinite leave of absence. If it weren't for his connection to her he wouldn't have even seen Makoto again today.

When he saw Makoto at Minako's residence he was surprised at how warm he felt inside. Once rejected, he tended to file the moment away lest he wallow in his feelings (something he tended to do in his teenage years, but attempted to avoid as he got older). He hadn't felt so giddy, like a teen experiencing the first feelings of attraction, in some time. He didn't think those feelings could so easily be dashed by inaccurate accusations. And while he was stunned to hear why Makoto had fled his store, he let his never-failing heart-on sleeve personality take over his actions and annoyance guide his reaction. There were better ways he could have handled the situation, but it was too late now and there was no reason to think about what he could have done because the fact of the matter at hand was that he did react and now he needed to wisely handle the new situation.

This time a series of car horns blared from behind me. The traffic light had turned green some moments ago. Face flaring in embarrassment, he pushed on the accelerator and the car jolted from the spot. Beside him Makoto raged on.

"Why didn't you let me out? We were stopped," she burst.

He glanced over at her face. Cheeks red, eyes bright with emotion, lips pressed together and an ever-present a scowl gracing her features.

Beautiful, he thought. And there it was. The cliché connection that wouldn't leave him and why he couldn't follow Makoto's orders. It was exhilarating. The swirl of emotions he felt pushing out of his body. All he wanted to do was push back the tendrils of hair that escaped her ponytail. Sing a song of love of the connection he felt with her. How much he'd thought of her since their first meeting the previous day. How even though he wanted to listen to her, he couldn't just let her go. He didn't want to lose this chance. As the song filtered through his brain they arrived in front of Makoto's complex. He rushed out of the car and opened the door allowing Makoto to exit. Only she stayed rooted to her seat, staring at him with a dubious expression. A second went by. Then a minute. No words passed and Kenta began to feel confusion flood his body once again. The whole ride she wanted to get out and now that she could she didn't move an inch.

"Um, we're here."

Still, Makoto stayed seated. Kenta let the arm he kept on the passenger door drop to his side. He finally got the quiet he previously desired, but it was an uncomfortable quiet as they stared at one another. Kenta wished Makoto would yell like she did before. At least then he would know what she was thinking. Another moment. Nothing. Then, just as he was about to ask what was wrong to end the solitude, she got up and left without a glance backward.

What the hell did I do now?

As the last rays of daylight faded, Makoto found herself gazing out her window, an untouched cup of tea in her hands, and Kenta's image in her mind. His lips moving, eyes straight on the road, and nary a glance in her direction. It surprised her. It was unexpected. And Makoto could not make sense of it. She replayed her interaction with Kenta from the first time she saw him in his store, the unexpected encounter as Minako's home, and the frustrating car ride ending in wonder. When did her life turn into a movie? Whose life is ever like this? Her home phone rang throughout the apartment, startling her out of her thoughts. As her cup of tea dropped into her lap, she let out a yelp as she waited for the burn.

Makoto shook her head. How long have I been sitting here? She thought as shestared at the toppled cup of cold tea in her lap. In the background the phone continued to ring before the answering machine picked up.

"Mako-chan, I know you're there and you better pick up the phone now or I'm coming there! Unless of course you're still on your date—"

Usagi's voice filled the quiet. It was enough to snap her out of her thoughts. What date?

And with that, she picked up the phone. "Gomen, Usagi-chan. I was a bit lost in my thoughts."

A giggle broke though the phone. "Lost in thought about a handsome prince, sweeping you off your feet? Oh, Mako-chan, I'm so happy for you."

A movie. Her life was definitely a movie now. No doubt Minako must have informed all of their friends of Kenta. But sweeping her off her feet? She wasn't so sure of that.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," she replied. Again Kenta's image infiltrated her mind. Her cheeks heated and she tried to pay attention to Usagi's words.

"Mako-chan," Usagi admonished, "You can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone how your date went. Promise. Promise. Promise."

I doubt that.

"I didn't have a date." Before Makoto didn't want a date with Kenta, but now she wasn't so sure. Maybe she had misjudged him. Maybe her guard was up because of her stupid ex-boyfriend and his stupid video games and his stupid lack of love for her. It was the first time she felt hesitant about her feelings. She didn't want to jump head-first. She needed to be logical. Kenta was trying to buy her. There was no other reasonable explanation. He couldn't actually have wanted to go out with her. Right? There had to have been an ulterior motive. Just like her ex-boyfriend. But the car ride home filled her mind again. Or maybe she was just going crazy. Being paranoid.

"Oh. But Mi-chan said—"

Makoto interrupted, "I'm confused."

And so Makoto told her story. The meeting with Kenta. The exhilaration she felt after seeing him for the first time. That it was different. Because whereas she had fallen in love with boys' looks back when Usagi and Makoto were in school, this was the first time that she felt frozen and on fire when their hands touched. How she so wanted to agree and say yes when he asked her out on a date. But wouldn't that mean she was just repeated her endless string of useless, one-sided relationships? That she was right about Kenta wanting to buy her time? Didn't it all make sense?

Through it all, Usagi listened. There was no response to her questions. Makoto let out her anxiety. The anxiety and fears she didn't know she was feeling escaped her mouth through every word. Secretly, her heart had done a somersault when she saw Kenta again. That she had to remind herself that he would only take advantage of her like so many others before. It all made sense. Minako was looking too much into things. It was irrational of her to stuff her into a car with someone who was just like her other boyfriends. She deserved better.

"Maybe he is better, Mako." Usagi spoke gently. Always the mother to her friends when needed, she spoke with care. Motherhood had enhanced her skills. "You're trying so hard not to repeat the past that you're letting your present pass you by. Yes, you deserve better. We want you to be happy. But pushing people aside to keep from breaking doesn't make you safe. It doesn't make you happy. It makes you stuck. None of us want you stuck."

If it had been anyone else, Makoto would have replied to stop incorrectly analyzing her. But Usagi was an excellent judge of character. She knew her friends more than they knew themselves. If she hadn't become a writer, she would have made an excellent psychologist. Her instincts were exceptional.

"Something happened on that car ride to make you rethink the situation. Do you want to talk about it? Feelings are complicated. But, we can try to make sense of what you're feeling. Would you like to try?"

Makoto vehemently nodded, eyes filling with tears as she returned to her seat by the window. She needed to understand it all. "Hai," she uttered as she brought her knees to her chest and pressed the phone against her ear. Usagi replied that she could start talking when she was ready. Makoto wondered what made her rethink Kenta's motive? A tentative smile fell to her lips.

"He sang to me."

Rain was her element. There wasn't a person in the world who loved rain like she did. To curl up beneath a blanket during a thunderstorm, it was her one of her loves. Only today it was unacceptable. It was supposed to be sunny, nary a cloud in sight according to the weather prediction. She'd dressed in her finest casual dress. Left her hair down, which she rarely did. And did not bring an umbrella when she left her apartment determined to make amends with Kenta. On the bus ride to her destination the sky darkened as an unaware Makoto thought about the different ways she could reconcile with Kenta. Lost in her thoughts, she missed her stop. It wasn't until three stops later that she realized her error and got off. Taking the bus back would mean waiting and she was unsure how long it would take. Ten minutes into her walk, it began.

Raining like cats and dogs was an understatement. Makoto questioned what that even meant before shaking her head. The sky was dark. No rays of light peaking between clouds to signal the end of the downpour as she ran for an available cover spot. Luck was not on her side. Every shelter she could find was crowded with people, who, like her, didn't carry an umbrella and were caught off-guard by the storm.

It wasn't supposed to rain. Just as the thought entered her mind, the bus she had opted not to wait for passed her on the road. She should have waited.

Great.

Sen no Kotoba wasn't too far. Though the onslaught of rain was deterring, Makoto continued running. She wouldn't stop for respite from the rain—already thoroughly drenched. There was no way to make herself more presentable without returning home and she did not want to return home when she was so close to making amends. For a moment her anxiety creeped up her spine as she ran. Perhaps Kenta wanted nothing to do with her. She hadn't considered the possibility until now. The harder she ran the more anxiety pressed upon her chest as she was one step closer. One step closer to rejection. And while it was only a day since their unexpected car ride, it was still time passed. No, returning home was not an option. Maybe Kenta would reject her, but she didn't want to wonder if she had only reconciled with him sooner that the situation could be different.

And then she was there in front of Sen no Kotoba. She took in a long breath as the rain continued to pelt her. Inside Kenta sat behind the counter and the sight of him brought a flush to her cheeks.

Okay. Here we go, she thought and entered.

Without a glance up, Kenta said, "Gomen. I know it's raining but I can't allow you to take cover here. This is a business and it needs to remain as such." It was a robotic response. No doubt he had uttered those words countlessly. In response, outside thunder roared.

"Well, I'm hoping you'll make an exception. Cover from the rain in exchange for a date."

Kenta's head snapped up, confusion marring his face and while his mouth had opened no words were uttered.

Still pretty.

Now that she was here Makoto was all too aware of her dress clinging to her body and pieces of hair matted to her face. She must look horrendous. Definitely not pretty like him. A puddle was forming beneath her feet and the silence between them dragged on.

Kami, maybe this was a mistake. She reminded herself that she did not just run through the storm just to turn back and so she steeled her shoulders and strode up to the counter, eyes never leaving Kenta's gaze.

"Gomen nasai, Akiyama-san. I let my emotions get the best of me and reacted to you harshly. Both times. I won't offer any excuses. And…" she trailed off.

His gaze was doing weird flips in her stomach. Her face felt hot and she hoped he would think her reddened face was a result of being out in the storm. Her heart hammered beneath her chest and she could hear her heartbeats ringing in her ears. The sound of the rain hitting the glass faded and all that was left, the only sense she could use, was the sight of Kenta's eyes on her. Focused. Listening. It was too much. The storm had entered her body. She couldn't think of what to say now despite the different scenarios she had run through her head on the bus. She swallowed.

"Why are you here?"

Her heart sank and her shoulders dropped. It was too late.

"Wait, no. That came out wrong." Kenta let out a sigh, dragged his hand down his face as Makoto held her breath for him to continue. "You wanted nothing to do with me yesterday and now you're here and looking so beautiful—"

Makoto didn't think she looked beautiful, but when he said it she believed him.

"—and I want to believe you're actually here, that I'm not imagining you here like I've been doing all day." Here he paused, choosing his words carefully. "But I don't understand why. What changed from yesterday?" He rushed out the words ever the emotional guy. Heart on his sleeve.

Makoto bit her lip. She wasn't expecting this response. She wasn't expecting any kind of response. She hadn't prepared to explain why she was there. Just that she was sorry and wished she had said yes. She was damaged and on guard and she took everything he said the wrong way. She wasn't ready to explain why she took his words the wrong way. The scar was still healing. It was too early to reopen the wound. Kenta waited and Makoto searched through her mind for an answer, worrying how long his patience would hold. Then the answer was clear. Bright and shining just like when she spoke to Usagi.

"Because you sang to me. It was stuck in my head and I kept wondering how a guy like you—I mean a guy that I thought you were like could sing the words you sang to me and it made me rethink what I thought." Makoto waited for a response, but Kenta stared back at her.

He blinked once. Twice. Eyebrows crinkled together. "Okay. I still don't understand. When did I sing to you?"

She was stunned. Maybe he was the guy she thought he was. Disappointment gripped her and she felt her eyes water.

"I know I was awful. And you have every right to be mad at me," she said. Her voice wavered and she continued, "But please don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I can leave. You don't have to accept my apology."

Just as she as she turn and began to head towards the exit Kenta exclaimed, "But I don't know what you're talking about!"

He walked around the counter to where Makoto stood half-turned to the exit of the store before he continued, "Please. Can we just talk? I'm confused. Really confused." He pleaded, "Don't go."

He sounded sincere, so Makoto nodded in response and Kenta lead her down a hallway and to another room where a couch was tucked away in the corner. On the other side there was a small kitchenette. Kenta sat on the couch, but Makoto hesitated. She was still soaked.

"Don't worry about the water. It's fine. I just want to sort this all out."

She nodded in response and sat some distance away. He apologized for not having a towel for her to dry off with. She shook her head in response and uttered it was okay.

"Okay. So we've met twice. First here," her gestured haphazardly, "and at Aino-san's home. Then I drove you home, which you were angry about. Am I somehow forgetting another time we met? A time where I sang to you?"

Is he serious?

She watched Kenta. He certainly seemed serious. She didn't dream up him singing, but he had no idea what she was talking about. One of them had lost their mind and she most assuredly did not. She didn't think she did anyway. She shook her head in response to Kenta's question. "We only met those two times. You did sing to me though."

Her answer only further confused him and he gasped out, "When?"

"In the car…" She trailed off thinking it would all make sense now. But he only repeated the words back to her. Maybe she did dream it? She tried to recall if she had fallen asleep once she got home before her talk with Usagi. She hadn't. No, he had definitely sang to her. Beside her Kenta kept repeating the words she told him, eyes distant as he replayed the drive to Makoto's home. Once. Twice. Three times. How long was he going to keep saying that?

"In the car. In—the—car." His eyes suddenly widened, "In the car!"

His face reddened the brightest of reds she had ever seen.

"That was out loud?" He waited for a response and receiving none he got up and started pacing before her. "I mean I sang a song in my head. But now you're telling me that it wasn't in my head. Out loud. Out. Loud." He turned to her again, face flushed and with eyes seemingly bursting from his sockets. "Out loud!

She couldn't control herself. The laughter bubbled out of her as he stared at her incredulously, but it only made her laugh harder. The clutch at your sides kind of laughter. Laughter that only comes in the most ridiculous of circumstances. It was unbelievable. What had changed her mind about him and rethink their initial encounter was a song that he thought he sung in his head. She wasn't supposed to hear it, but she did and it resulted in the best laughter she had in awhile.

"I guess it is pretty funny," he muttered to himself.

Makoto shook her head all the while laughing while he returned to sitting next to her. She could feel happy tears at the corner of her eyes. He looked plenty embarrassed, but he laughed with her anyway. When their laughter subsided all that was left were the smiles they had for one another and a new start.

Author's Note:

Sorry everyone. I know I said I was really excited about this story and I was going to stick to it. To be honest I have MDD and it's hard to just sit and write. The years that have gone by since my last update have been a roller coaster ride. I won't promise when the next update will be, but I do hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I was worried my writing style would be different from the first two chapters and I reread both several times and referred back to them while I was writing this chapter. I'm hoping the writing style is similar and the chapters don't seem disconnected from one another. I wanted to make this chapter longer for all of you who have patiently waited for an update, but after several attempts to write another scene to continue off of I realized the chapter was at a perfect point to conclude.

Fingers crossed I'm able to write more soon. Reviews are appreciated. They really do motivate me. Here and there I would get an alert that my story was reviewed and it reminded me to continue this story and not give up. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

-ff9moonie