AN: I wrote this last night in a fit of spontaneity, then woke up this morning, realized it was awful, and did some serious editing.
Credit goes to Jahfreen, because she said something that sparked this idea, and what a fantastic idea it was.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Onwards and enjoy!
~halestorm
i. Lust
Luke is the kind of guy Mrs. Jackson has always warned Percy about. He's sin and sharp edges and if Percy isn't careful, he'll cut himself on the jagged, bitter edges of Luke's perspective.
Percy doesn't really care. Lips are too swollen and skin is too rosy and body's are flushed up against one another's and it's lust. Pure, animalistic, lust.
Percy's drowning in it, and he couldn't care less.
Luke blows smoke into Percy's face and laughs when Percy asks if they'll every be anything more than lousy mornings-after and bruised hips.
"Never," Luke scoffs, and pulls Percy in for a bruising kiss.
And Percy realizes that when you're sleeping with the enemy, you don't get to care.
Percy kisses back, hard, and pretends he doesn't mind.
ii. Pine
Percy pines after her for weeks.
"She'll always be my biggest 'what if'," Percy tells Annabeth once, right before she socks him on the arm, reminds him that he's an idiot, and storms off.
Percy doesn't get it until later, but the memory of moonlace and one soft, sweet kiss clings to Percy for years, and he remembers the swell of Calypso's curves and the way her hair fell over her shoulder and the way she so readily gave him her heart, even though she knew he had to leave.
He remembers promising to come back for her, but then he catches sight of blond curls and a strong, athletic body, and Calypso can wait, because Percy has a whole life ahead of him with Annabeth, and someone will find Calypso, eventually.
iii. Desire
It's the way she looks when Percy finally has her pinned against the wall, demanding to know why she hates him.
"I don't hate you, hero," she spits out, and Percy is more frustrated than ever because a), he still doesn't know who he is, and b), he's a little turned on by Reyna's sweaty body and mussed hair and the way her body rubs up against him through their clothes as she tries to squirm away from him.
"You don't like me," Percy amends after a moment of distraction. Reyna scoffs.
"I don't," she agrees. "Now, get off of me before I let Octavian do as he pleases with you."
She pushes Percy off and stalks away, her hips swaying slightly, and Percy's body pulses with a desire that doesn't understand his attraction to girls who act superior to him.
iv. Need
Annabeth doesn't know what she does to him.
Maybe she did, a couple of years ago, but now, she's completely ignorant of the effect she has on him.
It's not Annabeth's fault. Percy blames Tartarus for Annabeth's damaged self-esteem, but no matter how many gestures Percy makes or how many times he tells her she's beautiful, Annabeth just doesn't understand it anymore.
She tries to take her own life and Percy's life crumbles down and he begs, pleads, cries out to every god he knows of, Greek or Roman or Egyptian or Christian or what have you.
"I need her," he sobs into her limp, pale hand, but she doesn't stir from the coma.
She's gone in the morning, anyways, and Percy finds out that the more you need someone, the more it hurts when they leave you.
v. Crave
Percy begins to crave it.
The way he bites his lip when he's thinking, the way his fingers tap out nervous beats every time he's around Percy, the way he pretends he doesn't stare even when Percy catches him in the act.
Percy teases Nico about it for longer than he should. "I'm your boyfriend," he says. "You don't have to be nervous around me, and if you're checking me out, don't pretend that you aren't."
Nico always blushes at that, too, and Percy begins to crave Nico's blush as well.
He craves the way Nico writhes beneath him during foreplay, and the way Nico turns the tables around when he's ready and not a second sooner and absolutely ravishes Percy. He craves the way Nico bites down too hard during his climax and leaves hickeys peppering Percy's chest and hips.
Mostly he craves Nico, in the purest form he can have him in, and sometimes he regrets that he can't give Nico his all, too.
vi. Urges
The thing Percy appreciates about Jason, besides his good looks and the fact that he doesn't take shit from anyone, is that he doesn't question Percy.
When Percy shows up on his doorstep with the words "I fucked up" rolling off his tongue, Jason rolls his eyes, pulls the door open wider, and tosses Percy a blanket and an offhand comment about Percy sleeping on his couch as he makes his way back to his and Piper's shared bedroom.
It takes two hours for Piper to pry the story out of Percy ("Nico kicked me out because I couldn't give him what he needs"), and it takes two weeks for Percy to tell Jason, "I'll never be able to give him what he needs. I'm not good enough for him."
Jason doesn't comment on Percy's lack of self-esteem or tell him that Nico loves him, anyways. Instead, he just says, "Kinda feels like you're trying to talk yourself out of the relationship, and you're trying to make it out like you're doing it for him so you don't come across as the bad guy."
Percy can't argue, but when he finally calls things off with Nico, he notices the curve of Jason's ass and the way Piper presses her body fully against Jason, and Percy isn't sure if it's Jason he wants or if it's Piper, but when they offer to let him join them, he doesn't turn them down.
It's no point in denying your natural urges, after all.
vii. Want
It takes way too long for Percy to come to terms with the fact that he'll probably die alone. In the end, he thinks he's okay with that.
Drew tells him, once, in one of her rare moments of kindness, that if he doesn't want himself, no one else will. It takes Percy a while to grasp her meaning, and then he sets forth on Drew's idea of a journey to self love.
Drew's process involves a ridiculous amount of masturbation, a string of one night stands, and about fifty magazine articles, and finally, Mitchell decides that he can do more for Percy than Drew can.
Mitchell's process is different. His involves a lot of forcing Percy to embrace things he likes but is embarrassed about, like his obsession with Aquamarine and Taylor Swift. Mitchell talks about learning to be comfortable how to be comfortable with himself, and eventually, Percy remembers why he liked himself so much when he was with Annabeth.
She'd loved everything about him, and now, Percy loves everything about himself, too.
Percy makes it almost to thirty before he meets someone else, and five minutes after convincing her to go out with him, he gets run over by a bus.
In the Underworld, he laughs at the idea that Aphrodite couldn't stand him being with that one specific girl, and asks Charon not to say a word to Annabeth about her.
Charon rolls his eyes, and Percy prays that Annabeth never gave up on waiting on him.