Hello!

Here is a new fiction I've been working on since a few weeks. I only have the first chapter and a lot of ideas which I don't really know how to put together. I decided to post the first chapter in order to see if I'm going on a good road with this story and to see the reactions you guys will have. :) Pansy will be the main character, tough Hermione will be featured quite strongly too.

First, I'd like to say that Scarlett Byrnes is definitely the person I see when I talk about Pansy (though Pansy doesn't think she's as beautiful as Scarlett Byrnes- low self-confidence hum hum).

Second, I guess it's an AU since I gave Pansy a sister, and I made up a university. Also, the characters may be a little OOC even though I'm trying hard not to make them.

Third, I created a poll to help me chose with who Pansy will end up with. Even though I'm strongly leaning towards a muggle OC I'd really like to know what you guys think. :) I really appreciated all the reviews for Walking in circle, thank you all so much :) I hope you enjoy this chapter :) and I'm sorry for all the spoilers in this very long author note :P

Chapter 1 : New Beginning

"So here's to new beginnings

And here's to breaking free

Let's chase a new horizon,

Chase who we're meant to be"

New Beginnings- Luminate

I always needed to have an obsession. When I was in my first year at Hogwarts it was to have good grades, in my second year it was to put Severus Snape in my pocket, in my third year I wanted nothing more than for Draco Malfoy to love me. And this last need or obsession was my downfall. The more he rejected me, the more I wanted him. Our relationship, if I could call it this way, was unhealthy. To him I was nothing but a whore who shared his bed while to me he was everything. Now in my eight year I could do nothing but take every psychological blow he gave me. I quickly wiped the tears which suddenly sprang free from behind my close eyelids.

Everything had changed when I saw him, not an hour ago, coming into the Great Hall his arms draped around the Weasley girl, and kissing her. It hurt me to see that he looked much happier than I ever saw him before.

Obviously, Ronald Weasley stood up straight away from his seat at the Gryffondor table and started screaming and admonishing his sister. I wouldn't know how it ended though as I had left the room right away, the look of pure love and happiness he sported burned into my eyelids.

What did Weasley have more than me? Was she more beautiful? More clever? Wittier? Maybe it's her kindness… I huffed, and with a groan I stood up and made my way to the floor length mirror in the corner of the room.

I knew that I wasn't the most beautiful girl of the school but looking at my reflection now just made me see myself in a whole new light…. I was far uglier than what I thought. I was small and had a bit of extra pounds. My wavy hair was unruly, dry and a dark shade of brown, it looked like I hadn't brushed them since last year. It looked like I still had baby fat on my cheeks. My eyes were big and a dull green, and my teeth uneven. It made me want to cry, and I finally allowed myself to let my tears fall freely, after many years of repressing them. Whoever said that the inside was more important than the outside never attended Hogwarts apparently, and he definitely never met Draco Malfoy.

Then again, I'm not sure why I'm so surprised and hurt. It was obvious since the beginning that Draco would never love me. But still for him I changed, trying to be the girl he wanted. From the shy, nice and hardworking little girl I became the mean, bully and love-struck fangirl.

I hate who I became, I just wish I could go back in time and change my mind, tell my younger self that if someone loves you it's for who you truly are and not for some fantasy.

I know I should have felt regretful before everything that happened today and even though I was a bit, never to this extent. He humiliated me for the last time and I guess it was the last straw. I can't take any more pain. I wouldn't be able to win him back even if I wanted anyway. Next to Ginevra Weasley I don't stand a chance.

I think what is worst in the story is that he didn't even bother breaking up with me beforehand. When he kissed her the whole student body looked at me waiting for me to throw a tantrum or say something… I guess I disappointed them. I didn't do anything. I was already up because I had finished eating. At that moment I felt numb and empty, and maybe a bit nauseous. So I just walked out of the room like nothing happened, my head held high.

Now that I really think about it, maybe I can go back to being myself, be who I was before, be me, Pansy Scarlett Parkinson. After all, if I became a bully it's only because I wanted him to love me and since he made it obvious that he despised me it was only fair that I start living my life again. I should have never changed for him anyway, the only result it all had was my heart breaking in thousand pieces, scattered around England.

Anyway, the one good thing with the Christmas holidays being in a week is the fact that I won't see his face again for two whole weeks. Everything will be better. I will be able to go back home, mend my broken heart, maybe work a bit to raise my grades even though they were acceptable, and take care properly of Gardenia, my little sister. She's five but contrary to me nobody knows of her because she is a squib. My parents didn't want to have our name degraded by that. It's finally time I show her that I don't think she's worthless, she's actually the person I love most even if I never showed her.

Stopping my train of thoughts Daphne Greengrass stormed in the eight year girl's dormitory.

"Pansy! I'm sorry!" She said in her annoying voice, faking concern. She had a small smile which showed me that she was indeed nothing but a hypocrite and a liar.

"Don't you worry Daphne, I'm okay." I guess I'm like her, I thought, laughing internally.

"Are you sure? When you ran away everyone started whispering about you and about how heartbroken you were. So I walked as fast as I could to comfort you." She said, putting a hand over her heart.

I raised an eyebrow shaking my head. Was she serious? I was here since one HOUR and surely the walk from the great hall to here didn't take that long.

"Daphne I didn't run away. I had finished eating." I replied, rolling my eyes. Well, I had taken the decision to get back to myself a few minutes ago and I was already the strong willed, witty, and sarcastic eleven year old I was before.

"Oh please we all know that you love him." She said, maliciously, sitting on her bed, while making a show of looking at her manicured nails.

"Even if I loved him it wouldn't be any of your concern now if you can please leave me alone I'd appreciate it." I said, harshly.

She huffed and went away, but not before slamming the door. I rolled my eyes again and went to sit down on my bed. What a drama queen…

Anyway, it was time for me to start planning a future.

I took a notebook out of my bag and opened it, revealing my cursive yet round writing. I didn't open that book since I was fourteen but I always carried it with me anyway. It was my diary from when I was little and it was precious to me. I flicked it until I was at the last page where I had dressed a list of the things I wished to do and accomplish in the future.

Dreams:

1. Graduate from Hogwarts

2. Go to Witchcraft University

3. Run Witch Weekly magazine

4. Create my own magazine

5. Marry the love of my life and have children

6. Own a library

7. Have 12 house elves

8. Go out with Draco Malfoy

9. Have Draco Malfoy as my first kiss

10. Marry Draco Malfoy

11. Be happy….

I looked at the last one and smiled slowly. I had written my eleventh "dream" when I was fourteen after I saw Draco kiss some girl from Slytherin. Without Draco now I was going to be happy and I couldn't wait for it to happen.

Suddenly a thought occurred to me. The deadline to apply to a university in the wizarding world was in a week. I had to proceed quickly if I wanted a chance to achieve some of my dreams.

I quickly went to search into my trunk for the pamphlet which the teachers gave us. Witchcraft University was the best magical university in the whole world and fortunately they had a journalism course. I took the applying form which was with the pamphlets and filled it. I quickly decided that I would go ask every professor for a recommendation letter tomorrow, until one would nicely agree. Once I finished my applications I decided to go to sleep, hopefully avoiding all those obnoxious Slytherin girls who would surely come and bother me.

I now had a new obsession but thankfully this one was much healthier than the last one. I was now inclined to do everything that was in my power to help my little sister have the life she deserved. Tomorrow would be a better day.

I hope you all liked it. Let me know what you think by leaving a review :P :)

And if any of you is interested in beta reading this, PM me! :D And sorry for the lack of Hermione.

Have a nice day/night!

PS: The Poll is closed!