Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DIVERGENT NOR THE CONCEPT. I DO WISH I OWNED JAI COURTNEY THOUGH!

AN: Okay so this is up WAY later than I had anticipated. I ran into major problems getting any if only some pieces of the chapters off my corrupted USB key. After wallowing and then spending time rewriting I was unable to upload the new chapters to Fanfiction for almost a year. I finally just wiped out all the formatting from the document and voila, new chapter. Hope you enjoy.

READ THIS SO YOU UNDERSTAND THE SETTING OF THE STORY! IT WILL HELP YOU IN THE LONG RUN!

I did not like the whole 'Social Experiment' twist in the story so I am eliminating that and instead using the idea that this is a post War Society.

I am using the movie version of Eric because he was SOOOOOO hot.

This story takes place the year after Four and Eric initiated and the year before Tris.

Most of the characters will stay in cannon however some may shift slightly as I write deeper into their personalities and as I morph the story.

Anything written in italics signifies thinking.

Now I know that a lot of people now simply add stories to their alerts of favourites, but I am an old school fanfic user and writer and I WANT FEEDBACK! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

Enjoy!

Chapter Eleven:

Landscape Showdown

'Fuck you bitch.'

Chimera shot up from the couch as the memory of her nightmare faded. With only two days left before the Landscapes would take place Chimera found herself plagued by nightmares; nightmares she couldn't exactly remember when she woke up. She kept waking up in a cold sweat; her body trembling with her hand pressed against her abdomen over her scar, so she knew the nightmares had to do with the roof, and Carl. Due to the nightmares, she hadn't been able to sleep, leaving her emotionally and physically drained, which was not the position she wanted to be in for final evaluations.

Part of her was grateful that she never remembered the details of her nightmare when she woke up, but it left her shaken nonetheless. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but she found herself becoming more and more irritated with Clarissa's suddenly cheery attitude. It also hurt that Clarissa had failed to notice that she was clearly not okay. On top of all of that Chimera had noticed the increasingly hostile looks that Amber sent her every time they were in the same room. Her gut told her that sleeping in the dorm was now more dangerous than ever, so she continued to spend her nights sleeping in Eric's office.

Eric hadn't questioned as to why she was continuing to sleep in his office overnight, nor why she seemed to be in his office napping constantly throughout the day. He only asked her once what was going on, but hadn't pushed when she had told him it wasn't something she wanted to talk about. She was aware that he knew she was having nightmares; having startled him at his desk a few times when she shot up from sleep gasping for air, but again he didn't press her for an explanation. Chimera appreciated that Eric respected her need to figure things out for herself, but knew that his concern for her was growing.

Walking through the halls of Dauntless she reflected on this fact wondering just when they had come to understand each other so well. Understanding someone was a level of deeper feelings that Chimera just did not have the energy to dive into right now.

"I better get a big comfy ass mattress when this is all over." Chimera yawned cracking her back as she walked onto the Chasm bridge in the early morning after leaving Eric's office.

"Good to know you've stopped that silent shit." A voice called startling her. Chimera jumped and turned to face the voice. She hadn't noticed that someone had come up behind her.

"What are you doing here?" Chimera whispered looking around to make sure they were alone. Carmine chuckled thinking how cute her concern was. He smirked before walking out onto the bridge coming to a stop right beside her.

"It's my week off in the rotation. Did you really think I wouldn't be here for your landscape?" He smiled gently. Chimera grinned up at her dad, her shock at seeing him having worn off.

"I'm just not sure what to expect, you know." Chimera told him shrugging her shoulders, but her smile let on to just how touched she was that he was here for her. Carmine took a moment to really look at Chimera. He could see how rundown she looked, but refrained from commenting on it knowing how hard the sims could be on a person.

"It's not going to be easy for us because someone smart may connect the dots. You've got too many of my good looking traits." Carmine smirked leaning against the railing over the chasm. "But I promise I'm going to be around as often as I can, in whatever way I can. We'll figure this out."

"Thanks. That means a lot, but just to be clear does that mean you're just gonna start randomly popping up in places...?" Chimera asked some concern lacing her voice as she chewed on her thumb thoughtfully.

"Yes, so just keep in mind I can appear anywhere, at anytime." He told her with a pointed look.

"That's not really comforting." Chimera deadpanned.

"Don't care. Heard that you're ranked number one." Carmine stated pride shining through his voice. Chimera couldn't keep the grin off her face.

"Yup! Hey do you think they would let me come to the fence even if I rank first?" Chimera questioned hopefully.

"It's pretty unlikely Nib." Carmine replied disappointed. He would love to have her at the fence knowing the freedom it would give their relationship. "No one ranked near the top ends up at the fence."

"Well maybe if I punch one of the leaders I can get myself banished there?" Chimera grinned already knowing exactly, which leader's face she could smack in if he got on her nerves again.

"I guess that answers my question about whether, or not you handled your boy problem." Carmine muttered rubbing his hands over his face.

"HEY! I'm doing my best!" Chimera smacked him on the arm. "It's a delicate situation."

Carmine gave Chimera a hard look assessing her for a few moments before groaning in frustration.

"You're involved with him, aren't you?" Carmine groaned rolling his eyes. Chimera looked down at the water rushing under the bridge unwilling to meet her father's eyes.

"Depends on your definition of involved…" Chimera trailed off awkwardly fiddling with the end of one of her braids. Carmine pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes having no idea how he was supposed to handle this conversation. Anything he could say to her would be beaten by her pointing out he had been with, and was still involved with Sarrth. He would have to tread carefully since he didn't know exactly how deep Chimera's feelings for Eric ran.

"He doesn't have the best reputation Nib." Carmine stated keeping his tone as neutral as he looked over at her.

"I know. And I hope you can understand it's complicated; he's complicated." Chimera tried to explain lamely.

"Don't understand that and it's not making me feel better." Carmine snorted.

"Well my existence is outside the realm of understanding so this should be no different." Chimera retorted sarcastically earning a dark glare from Carmine. It would always be a sore spot with him that he would never be allowed to claim her as his daughter publicly. Deciding this conversation would go no where good he addressed a different topic.

"So, at what point are you going to tell me that you were stabbed?" Carmine demanded effectively changing the subject. Chimera's eyes grew wide as saucers completely forgetting that her dad would know about that.

"Uhhhh, never." Chimera replied awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. "Look the guy, Carl, was trying to really hurt a friend of mine, and I wasn't in the best form to be fighting. I know that some punk ass, low ranking, piece of shit should never have been able to get close enough to knife me."

"I'm not upset how it happened Chimera. I'm upset that it happened." Carmine sighed wanting to hug Chimera, but settling for touching her shoulder due to the cameras. "You're in my home now and I should be around to protect you like I promised."

"This is Dauntless. Stealing cake from the wrong person can get you stabbed." Chimera mumbled taking comfort from the physical contact.

"Nib..." Carmine said in a warning tone. Chimera tilted her head up to look at her dad. "Combining Dauntless bravery and Amity affection is a very dangerous thing."

"Well if you love something doesn't it make you braver to protect it?" Chimera challenged. Carmine shook his head and gently let go of her shoulder. She made too good of a point to try arguing.

"Just promise me that the next time you go gallivanting off to save someone you'll take a gun." Carmine asked sighing heavily.

"I promise as soon as I'm a member I'll raid the armory. Flex owes me anyways." Chimera grinned. Carmine looked down at his daughter wondering if Eric had any idea how damn lucky he was that Chimera was even giving him the time of day. Carmine left that train of thought alone so he wouldn't drive himself nuts.

Looking instead over his daughters facial features Carmine finally felt a sense of ownership in the person she was becoming. Sure it was sixteen years into her life, but he got to be there during the most pinnacle moment that would define who she could become.

"I'm going to be around for the next two weeks Nib. I'll see you soon." Carmine promised patting Chimera on the shoulder once more before turning to leave the Chasm.

"Where are you going?" Chimera asked as he walked away from her.

"To have a few words with my sister about discharging you for your final fight in Stage 1." Carmine tossed over his shoulder. Chimera grimaced. 'Poor Auntie.'

When Chimera entered the cafeteria for dinner she immediately felt the pulsing excitement radiating off everyone in the room.

"What's going on?" Chimera asked sitting down across from Flex. Lucas and Clarissa were nowhere in sight, which was just fine with Chimera. It may be her Amity side, but the fact that Clarissa still hadn't even asked Chimera if she was okay was bothering her more and more, and it's not like they didn't see each other constantly.

"There's a party tonight." He replied grinning.

"How come?" Chimera asked putting small amounts of food on her plate.

"They're announcing the new leader tonight." He smirked obviously excited. "So right after dinner get your ass down to the Pit. It's open bar and that doesn't happen very often here."

"Final Evaluations are in two days Flex. Not a good idea for me to be partying." Chimera shrugged pushing the food around on her plate. Flex watched her for a moment.

"Hey everything alright moody?" Flex asked truly concerned. Normally Chimera would be tearing into her food by now.

"Just got a lot on my mind." Chimera shrugged placing her fork down on the table.

"He still causing issues?" Flex whispered seriously. Chimera let a small smile crawl over her lips.

"No Flex. Things are fine there." Chimera assured. Flex knew there was something more going on, but it wasn't his place to pry so close to Landscapes.

"Then a party is exactly what you need to get your mind off things." Flex declared with a tone of finality. Chimera shook her head even though she knew there was no argument on this. "Moody..." He warned teasingly.

"Okay." She caved. Any distraction was a good distraction at this point anyways.

"Yes! Very awesome. Plus, it's a big moment for him and he'd break my arm for saying this, but I'm pretty sure he would be hugely bummed if you didn't show." Flex told her quietly.

"Well how can I say no now?" Chimera teased.

"You can't, so let's go." Flex cheered pulling Chimera from the table and towards the Pit. "I wanna make sure we get a spot close to the bar!"

Chimera smiled and laughed as she let herself be pulled along by Flex. The Pit was already half full by the time they got there, so they were unable to get a spot close to the bar as Flex had originally wanted. About 10 minutes later the Pit was flooded with people excitedly waiting for the party to start. A hush felt over the crowd as gradually everyone noticed Max standing on an upper level ledge over looking the Pit.

"Members and future members of Dauntless! Tonight we welcome a new member to our Leadership Council!" Max announced his voice carrying out over the entire Pit.

Chimera watched as everyone in the Pit cheered. She was pretty sure it was because they were drinking free al, and not because they were happy that Eric was officially being named leader.

"Therefore to the Dauntless Leadership Council we are proud to admit ERIC CONRAD!" Max shouted as the Pit was once again engulfed in cheers. Eric shook Max's hand before taking the offered bottle of beer from Hector. Turning to the crowd Eric grinned arrogantly. Max held up his hand for silence and the Pit fell quiet once again. Max turned to face Eric.

"Will you, Eric Conrad, vow to always act in accordance with Dauntless law, to uphold the characteristics and values of the Dauntless Manifesto, and to protect the lives of your fellow faction members and greater citizens even at the cost of your own life?" Max asked of Eric.

Flex had told her that it was tradition that all those taking a Leadership position take the same vow in front of all the Faction members. Chimera thought over the last line of the vow carefully. She hoped that every member understood that Eric had already proven that part when he saved her life. She watched Eric closely as he turned to look at the crowd.

Eric looked over the Pit relishing in the knowledge he would now have a certain amount of power over the people below him. Even in a room teeming with people he managed to pick out Chimera from the crowd. He was surprised at the apprehension he felt as he locked his gaze with her. When a huge smile spread across her face he felt warmth spread through his chest as he realized how relieved her was that she was excited, and maybe even proud, of him. Hector almost in audibly cleared his throat bringing Eric back to the present.

"Even in death I will. DAUNTLESS TILL DEATH!" Eric shouted before downing his beer. Another loud cheer broke out before thumping music filled the Pit.

"So who caught your eye there Conrad?" Vivian teased. Eric stiffened. Had she seen his little moment with Chimera?

"An initiate sneaking a case of beer from behind the bar when no one was looking." He replied with a grin. 'Thank fuck I saw that before seeing Chimera.' Eric thought seeing Vivian looking over the crowd immediately for the offender.

Back on the Pit floor Chimera found herself still smiling as she watched Eric receive congratulations from the rest of the leaders before he began making his way down from the ledge towards the Pit floor. He was stopped by everyone as he passed as they offered their own congratulations. If he walked with confidence before, he now walked liked he owned the place. 'Hot and in charge.' Chimera mused.

"Might wanna turned down that smile a bit girly, you're almost beaming." Amar's voice whispered into Chimera's ear. Immediately her smile fell and she cleared her throat averting her gaze to the Pit walls.

"I'm not sure what you mean." Chimera whispered back. She felt Amar's laughter more than she heard it.

"It's your life to risk Chimera, but I would be a hypocrite to tell a soon to be Dauntless not too take risks." Amar told her quietly before walking away. Chimera rolled her eyes. She was honestly getting sick of the double standard pieces of advice people were giving her.

"He's going to be even more of an ass now." Flex laughed turning back to her after he finished talking to the member on his other side. He smiled dropping his arm across Chimera's shoulders. Chimera smiled back.

"Not more, just more open about it." Chimera teased back.

"Well let's go congratulate the jerk." Flex laughed guiding her in the direction that she assumed Eric was.

They came up to the small crowd that had gathered around Eric near the middle of the Pit. Everyone was offering their congratulations, and also filtrations from many of the female members. Flex clapped Eric on the back offering him a few words of congratulations and of course a few crude remarks. Chimera waited a little to side until Eric's eyes found her's.

"Congrats." Chimera congratulated smiling.

"Uh huh." Eric replied dismissively before turning to join the conversation going on beside him. Chimera was completely floored. He had completely brushed her off and it stung.

"Bummed my ass." She muttered to Flex before storming off. Flex opened his mouth to say something, but knew there was nothing he really could say. He was just as shocked.

Chimera walked over to where Greg, Carson and a few other initiates were hanging out together. She wasn't going to stand around Eric like some wannabe lackey. If this was how he was going treat her in public then she would definitely spare herself the humiliation and not pursue what ever was happening between them. Sure he had to be careful, but that shit was just down right unacceptable.

"So, whose got a drink for me?" Chimera smiled nudging Greg gently in the side to make room for her in their circle. Greg smiled and handed her the beer he had grabbed for her in the off chance she joined them. Chimera smiled a thank you before throwing herself into their conversation comparing the different types of meals that were served in the different Factions.

"And that was a mistake." Flex whispered to Eric. Eric looked over at Flex in question. Flex just jerked his head in the direction Eric knew Chimera had been moments ago. Not seeing her there he scanned further back into the crowd. He saw her standing around with Greg and Carson smiling and laughing at something Greg was saying. Eric's fist tightened on his beer as his eyes narrowed.

"Oh, you do not get to be pissed at her man." Flex told him as the group around them thinned out now that the bar was fully open. "She would be standing here right next to you if you hadn't treated her like shit."

"Evaluations are to close and she's in first. She's not a member yet and we're in public." Eric growled quietly as to not be overheard. "Vivian is right over there." He ground out tipping his head slightly in the direction that Vivian was standing discretely watching him as she carried on a conversation with the people around her.

"That's no reason to brush her off like that. She may be an initiate, but that doesn't mean you have to act like she's worthless. Cause after Initiation, she's the one that decides whether you're worth the effort or not. Better hope she still thinks your worth it after what you just did. Now, I'm gonna go find out how my brother got booze so quickly." Flex announced walking off in the direction of the group Chimera was hanging out with.

Eric clenched his jaw tightly as he watched Chimera out of the corner of his eye. She deserved to be ranked first without question, even if that meant causing a few hurt feelings with his behaviour before final evaluations.

Today was the day. 'This is it.' Chimera thought. Even though she was upset with Eric she had still slept in his office before returning to the dorms in the early mornings. Chimera was taking extra time and care getting ready this morning. She wore a pair of tight spandex workout leggings, a fitted red t-shirt and a black mid waist jacket. Knowing she would actually be moving around she had decided to wear the red and black runners she had bought with her points two weeks ago.

"You ever gonna lose those Amity braids?" Greg teased coming up to the sink beside her.

"Ever gonna lose the Candor vocabulary?" She shot back. Greg laughed as he splashed water on his face. Chimera smiled at him in the mirror. The smiled dropped when she caught sight of Rory walking into the bathroom. He was at the bottom of the ranking list. Considering what was most likely going to happen she had the sudden urge to say something to him.

"Saying anything is only going to make the reality of his situation hurt even more." Greg spoke softly to her as he reached for his toothbrush. Chimera looked over at him.

"There's nothing you can do that will make it any easier, so leave the last shred of hope he has intact by not bothering him." Greg told her. Chimera nodded understanding what he meant. Not that it made things any easier.

"Us or them I guess." Chimera whispered quietly shocking both herself and Greg. It was the most un-Amity thing she had ever said.

"Exactly." He whispered back as they continued getting ready in silence.

The initiates met Four, Lauren and Amar in the Pit as instructed. It was eerily empty. There was a tangible tension over the group. It was so thick Chimera felt like she as suffocating. Even though she was ranked first there was always a chance something could go horribly wrong during her landscape. Almost immediately Carl's face came to mind.

'Just leave me alone!' Chimera begged internally. Even physically shaking her head to get the image to vanish.

"Alright initiates this is it. Stage 3. Those of you that rank below the cut line will be Factionless by tomorrow morning. Final rankings will then be announced at lunch. Good luck and be brave." Four told them before walking up the stairs leading them all up to landscape room. All of the initiates followed him silently. Chimera found herself falling to the back of the group as her mind tried to block out Carl.

'You have been through this. You know what you're doing. Just remember to act like a Dauntless would.' Chimera repeated in her head. Five days ago she had been a solid rock, today she felt like she was barely holding it together.

"Now is not the time to get lost in your own head." Amar warned her as he walked up the stairs beside her.

"It's not getting lost in there I'm worried about, it's what I think I found." She replied tightly. Amar gave her a concerned look as they arrived on the glass-paneled floor of the upper level. The initiates were greeted with loud cheers as Max explained what was going to happen, the order they would be evaluated in, how they would be escorted back to their dorms once their turn was over to recoup, and then reminding the initiates to be brave.

"So you're up last?" Greg asked coming to sit beside Chimera on the bench.

"Yeah." Chimera replied feeling the nervous butterflies in her stomach. "They're going in reverse rank order."

"Ahh well I guess that makes sense. It's probably because they will have to double and triple check their calculations for the bottom and middle ranked initiates." Greg assessed rubbing his hands nervously on the top of his pants.

"FIRST INITIATE, RORY!" Amar called out startling all of the initiates.

'So it begins.' Chimera thought nervously.

Light applause and murmurs of good-luck sounded as Rory walked towards the landscape room. None of the members watching from the gallery above seemed overly interested in Rory's landscape.

"Here we go…" Greg trailed off watching Lauren inject Rory before he entered the room.

Time seemed to tick by slowly as one by one each initiate went into the fear landscape room. Each went in looking nervous, and then coming out looking exhausted and shaken. As they moved up the list the cheers got louder and the out coming initiates looked a little better then the person that came out before them, but not by much.

"GREG!" Amar shouted as Rafe, a Dauntless born, stumbled out of the landscape room looking white as a sheet. Greg stood up to loud applause.

"Good luck." Chimera told him giving his hand a squeeze. He smiled back at her returning the squeeze, before letting go as he walked off. She had really grown to like Greg over initiation

"Just us left moody." Lucas said quietly taking up the seat Greg had just vacated. He had been beside Clarissa on the other side of the room until Clarissa had been called for her turn.

"You know I never thanked you for helping me onto the train that first day." Chimera remarked fiddling with the zipper on the sleeve of her jacket.

"Well to be fair, I only did it because of how big your boobs are." Lucas smirked. Chimera shoved his shoulder with hers.

"Whatever." She smiled. "Look I'm glad we went through most of this together."

"Don't start acting like this is goodbye moody." Lucas warned. "You've put yourself through way too much to be thinking like that."

"Maybe more than I should have." Chimera whispered. Lucas gave her a questioning look before his name was called out signalling it was time for him to enter the landscape room.

Chimera was now alone on the bench; the only initiate left to go. Thinking back to her life in Amity, which seemed so long ago, she remembered how she had always been trying to find time and places to be alone. Now, however, sitting on the bench waiting to go into the landscape room she wished she still had someone to sit with. Though she was angry with Eric she really wished he could be with her, offering her the same support he did when they were in his office. 'Though he doesn't seem to want to even acknowledge me in public.' Chimera snorted.

"CHIMERA!" Amar called out startling her. Chimera took a deep breath not having even noticed that Lucas had come out. The entire crowd cheered loudly as Chimera wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans before walking slowly to the door of the landscape room. Four was waiting for her at the door to the landscape room holding her injector.

"Good luck. Be Dauntless." He told her quietly as he injected her with the serum. Chimera smiled tightly at him as they locked eyes. Everyone knew what could happen in there, but only she and Four knew just how dangerous the next few moments of her life were going to be.

"Thank you." Chimera replied with a small smile. Four quickly squeezed Chimera on the shoulder as she walked past him into the room. Four found himself asking a god he didn't believe in to help Chimera get through this without being discovered. The door shut behind Chimera with a small click.

'Here we go.' Chimera took in a deep breath. It only took a few moments until the room went completely black and for the invisible hands to start traveling all over her body.

Eric wasn't sure how to feel about watching Chimera's sims. On the one hand it was part of his job, but it also felt like a violation of her privacy. One thing for sure was that he wasn't too happy that the other leaders were also watching what was happening. They moved through her fears of being blind and touched, crushed to death, drowning and her teeth shattering, which were not that unusual. Pretty average actually. Eric thought she was doing exceptionally well, though the teeth pulling thing had not been pleasant to watch. He refocused as the sim transitioned again.

'Holy fuck.' Eric astonished feeling his blood flow south. Chimera was tied down completely naked. She looked fucking gorgeous. Her body was deliciously proportioned. Due to the distance and the angle that the leaders were positioned at in her sim he could really only see her side profile, but he could definitely see the side view of her full naked breast. His head spun with ideas, possibilities and dark desires of her tied up for him. And then he remembered something that sent his desires crashing down. This was part of her fear landscape, which meant it would either never happen, or it would take a huge amount of trust and bravery on her part to let him tie her down and do dirty things to her.

He watched as she established control over her breathing and then the landscape changed. Eric almost groaned in protest.

Looking around Eric found his curiosity peeking as he took in the scene. A large group of people, including himself and Max, were standing under one of the gates that led out to the Amity fields. Eric found himself assessing her landscape version of himself when he heard the shot go off. Quickly looking over before the scene changed he deduced from Chimera's prone body that she had shot herself. It would have been more traumatic had he been watching her and not the sim version of himself when she did it.

'I guess that was the one Four was helping her with since she reacted so quickly.' Eric concluded not really angry at Four for having obviously stepped in to help her with this sim. Having to shot one's self was probably not an easy thing to grasp and then learn to perform in a sim.

Eric refocused as the landscape shifted. His stomach dropped. 'Shit.' He thought.

They were on the roof of Dauntless and it was raining.

Chimera looked around confused. Her landscape should be over.

'No...please...no." She prayed as she realized she was on the roof of Dauntless in the pouring rain. This wasn't part of her regular sim lineup. This was something new. Something she hadn't prepared for. She felt the panic starting to build. Trying to move she realized she was pinned up against the wall beside the door unable to move; as if she was invisibly tied to it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Carl making his way over to her, multiple throwing knives in his hands.

"I fucking told you I'd carve into you bitch." Carl malicious smirked at her. Raising his hand, he threw one of the knives at her. She felt it pierce her hand and she screamed. She turned her head to the side as a knife flew at her face managing to graze her cheek.

"Stop moving." Carl snapped launching another knife that embedded itself into the front of her shoulder. Chimera felt her head start to pound as her body began to pull her out of the sim. She couldn't pull out; pulling out would mean her actual death and Carl would, in essence, end up killing her like he had vowed to do that night.

'NO!' She forced her body to stop fighting against the serum and focused on the sim. She had to get out of this the Dauntless way, or risk being discovered. Chimera began taking deep slow breaths as she felt two more knives land in abdomen. She could feel the sensation of blood seeping out of her body and onto her clothes.

'Be BRAVE!' She snapped to herself.

Suddenly whatever was binding her to the wall vanished leaving her free to move. Once she was free from the wall Chimera ran at Carl. She screamed as he spun with almost inhuman speed and slashed the knife down her thigh. She dropped down to one knee as Carl then slashed the knife up her sternum and across her collarbone, blood spattering up onto her face.

She lifted her hands to defend the next attack when Carl slammed his foot into her chest sending her flying backwards. As Carl came to stand at her feet he slammed his boot down on her ankle causing a sickening crack. Chimera bit her lip to stop from screaming out. Was avoiding death really worth living through this? She wasn't able to separate the sim from reality.

"You still don't know when to give up. You can't win. You can't stop me!" Carl snarled leering down at her.

Chimera's tear logged eyes looked up at Carl, her body bleeding and broken. She watched, gritting her teeth, tears streaming out of her eyes as Carl lifted the knife high above his body. She was going to die and not on her own terms.

"Die you stupid bitch." He snarled before plunging the knife directly into her heart.

Chimera took a huge breath of air as her fear landscape disappeared and she was once again in the graffiti painted room used for the landscapes. Her face was stained with tears and tremors spasmed though her body in waves. She curled her body into a ball hoping the world would just end as the sim replayed over and over in her head. When she didn't move after a few minutes and the murmurs from the gallery above intensified. She barely processed the sound of heavy boots jogging towards her location. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and jerked violently away from it.

"Four!" She heard Max yell from beside her. He was the one currently checking on her.

Four quickly ran into the room worried that Chimera had pulled out of the sim and given away her Divergence. Looking around he quickly spotted her curled into a ball on the floor near the back wall with Max at her side.

"Shit." Four swore rushing to Chimera's side and kneeling down next to her. There was no vomit around her thankfully, but that meant something else was wrong. "What the hell happened?" He asked Max quietly as he looked over Chimera for a sign of what had happened.

"I've watched a lot of sims in my time, but I've never seen one as violent and as disturbing as the one she just went through." Hector answered. He was standing on Four's left a few meters back looking slightly uncomfortable.

"I can't even shake it, and I was just observing." Vivian added with a small shudder looking anywhere, but at Chimera.

Four wondered just what the hell they were talking about. Chimera's sims weren't overly violent, and definitely not things he would consider to be disturbing. Unless, a new one had decided to show up for today. Four looked over to see that all of the leaders there looked visibly shaken, which was highly unusual.

Four placed a gentle hand on Chimera's back as he looked around the room for Eric. 'How the fuck could that asshole leave her like this?'

"Four get her to the med unit. Use the back stairs." Max ordered him. "Enough people have seen her like this already."

"Too many." Four muttered moving to lift Chimera.

"We'll handle the rumour mill." Max affirmed. Four nodded, quickly lifting Chimera into his arms and carrying her away from prying eyes.

As he walked he focused on listening to the rumours floating down from the gallery. Four knew that Dauntless loved rumours about sims from personal experience. It seemed these rumours about the violence and intensity of the leaders reactions to the sim were gaining her equal fame and sympathy throughout the Faction.

'At least they have no idea she's Divergent.' He thought thankfully.

Eric returned to the landscape room keeping his pace swift, but even. The minute Chimera's landscape had finished he had hastily unplugged and ran down to his office. He had desperately needed to get out of there. If he hadn't left he would have run over to her to check that none of it had been real, and in doing so, in front of the entire Faction could have led people to believe he favoured her and maybe her results were bias. He couldn't let that happen no matter how much leaving her bothered him.

"Where's Chimera?" Eric asked Max as Eric returned to the area where the leaders had been hooked up to the sims.

"I had Four take her down to the Med Unit." Max answered rubbing his hand over his face. "I've never seen something like that before Eric. It's hard to tell what the actual fear was, or how many separate ones there were." Max said shaking his head astonished.

"Agreed. Looks like even Vivian is having a hard time stomaching it." Eric pointed out immediately. Both he and Max looked over to where Tony was calmly talking to Vivian who had her arms wrapped around herself. "It's pretty impressive she actually made it out of the sim. Not many could beat a sim like that one."

"Agreed. The way Chimera got through that, she belongs here more than most." Max agreed patting Eric on the shoulder before walking over to Vivian. Eric let out a breath knowing that though Chimera's rank would definitely be affected by today, but her reputation for bravery among the leaders and members would remain intact.

After checking that there was nothing left for him to do, Eric moved as quickly as he could down to the Med Unit without drawing suspicion. It wasn't unheard of for initiates to collapse after the landscapes and no one made it through without some sort of emotional scar. Two of the other initiates, the 13th and 8th ranked, had been taken there after their landscapes as well. As the leader overseeing initiation it was part of his job to go and check on them. Not that he would actually be bothering with the other two right now.

"Where is she?" Eric demanded when he entered the Med Unit. Quinn jumped in surprise before pointing to one of the private exam rooms at the back. Eric marched into the room, picked up Chimera gently from the exam bed and walked out of the Med Unit without a word. Chimera moved slightly in his arms pulling herself as close to his body as she could.

Eric took the back route to his office knowing most of the Faction members would be at lunch, so the back halls would be mostly empty. By some grace Eric arrived at his office without being seen by another member and managed to open the door without dropping her. Instead of placing Chimera on the couch like he normally would, he sat down on the couch with her in his lap. He wasn't sure what exactly he should be doing, but even as a former Erudite he knew that the last thing she would need was to be alone. He rubbed his hand over her arm for a few moments before he felt her starting to shake.

"Chi, it's okay. It's over." Eric comforted holding her to his chest as she began to shake all over. "It's over." He repeated over and over again to her quietly as he continued to rub her back. He knew he was repeating it for her just as much as he was saying it for himself. "He can't hurt you again. It wasn't real."

"He was too strong." Chimera whispered her voice raw as tears leaked out of her eyes. "Please, don't leave me."

"I won't. It was just a sim." Eric said tightening his hold on her. "Just a sim."

He felt her cry quietly into his chest until he knew she fallen asleep from exhaustion when it stopped fully. He let out a shaky breath as he recalled every detail of her final sim. Had he not been stuck in the trance with no control he would have ended the simulation himself. Looking over to his work station he stared at the dent in his filing cabinet from where he had struck it earlier. He ran his hand over her body just to assure himself that none of the injuries had been real, letting his hand rest over her heart just so he could try to feel it beating.

Eric let out another shaky breath as the memory of his own fear and pain during her sim settled back into his mind. If he were being fully honest with himself he was hurt that he hadn't showed up in her sim to save her. That he hadn't even been there at all.

Eric walked out of his office momentarily hating that he was the Faction Leader dealing with initiation, because it meant having to leave Chimera's side for a few hours.

"What the hell happened?" Four demanded as Eric shut the door behind him.

"I don't have to tell you shit Four." Eric snapped striding past him. Four followed a few feet behind him into the next hallway.

"She's never reacted like that to a sim before and I want to know why she did today." Four pushed causing Eric to stop.

"What the hell makes you think you can challenge me when I give you an answer you don't like?" Eric snarled looking at Four over his shoulder.

"The fact that I could have your position at any moment if I wanted it." Four shot back. He would never take a leadership position, but reminding Eric that he could would keep Eric on his toes around him.

"You really think that?" Eric challenged turning halfway to look at Four. Eric knew there was some serious truth to what Four was saying and it burned him.

"It's what everyone else thinks that matters." Four threatened. "Look, Max is going to be asking about what went on in her landscapes prior to today and unless you want to look like a fool for not having all the information you best start talking."

"Don't you fucking threaten me Tobias. You weren't the one that had to sit through her new nightmare on the roof. I was the one sitting there watching as Carl used knives, the same knives she trained with, to slice into her body like she was nothing." Eric snarled his voice raging with uncontrolled breaths. "Does it make you feel better knowing I had to watch as she tortured and then fucking murdered without being able to do a damn thing?!" Eric was shouting by the end his nostrils flaring with pure anger. Four put his hands up in a gesture of surrender, even letting the fact that Eric used his first name slide. Four couldn't believe it, but he actually felt sorry for Eric.

"Not in the least Eric." Four admitted truthfully. Four's sincerity both surprised and annoyed Eric."But what you're saying you saw never showed up in her sims over the last six weeks and nothing in her data collection log suggested anything to do with the roof. I already double checked and that sim only entered the log as of today. Something happened in the last few days that triggered, or manifested itself into that sim." Four told him.

Eric thought for a moment recalling Chimera's behaviour over the last few days. Suddenly all the pieces snapped together. While Chimera had developed a new sim that slowed her time, there was someone who had done a lot better in their sim today than they should have. Someone who had a gone through their landscape with their worst sim missing.

Eric snarled viciously before storming off down the hallway.

"Eric where the hell ar—" Four shouted.

"Clarissa!" Eric snapped before turning the corner. Four paused a moment to understand what Eric meant as clearly Eric had figured something out, and that meant bad news for Clarissa.

"Shit." Four swore before running down the opposite hallway. He needed to find Flex and fast. Running down a side hallway Four didn't notice Carmine leaning against the wall just down from Eric's office. Had he not been so focused not finding Flex, Four may have taken a minute to wonder what Carmine was doing in this part of the compound at dinner.

Clarissa quietly hummed to herself as she opened the drawer that contained her personal belongings. Unlike last time she didn't feel the need to pack a bag. She was pretty sure her landscape had gone well enough to keep her here.

"You look pretty pleased with yourself." Said an icy voice.

"I'm sorry?" Clarissa squeaked looking up from sorting her clothing on her bunk to the door. She saw Eric leaning against the frame and swallowed nervously. Eric terrified her and she was alone in the dorm with him and he was blocking the only exit.

"I said you look pretty pleased with yourself." Eric repeated coldly.

"I— I don't understand." Clarissa stammered feeling a shiver run up her spine.

"I'm not so sure that you don't." Eric smiled menacingly. His whole body was vibrating with fury. "Something happened between the end of the sims and today that morphed into some very disturbing memories for Chimera's landscape." Eric replied watching as understanding and then guilt flash across Clarissa's eyes.

"What did you do to her?" Eric demanded coldly.

"I didn't do anything! I just thought…" Clarissa trailed off desperately looking around for another exit.

"I am not fucking asking you again. What did you do?" Eric thundered as he moved further into the dorm. Clarissa backed up into the wall as she tried to keep space between them. Eric stopped when stood about a meter away from her not trusting his anger right now.

"I just wanted to talk about that night on the roof with Carl. It kept showing up in my sim, slowing down my time." Clarissa admitted tears forming in her eyes. "I know she didn't want to go back onto the roof, but I pushed for it thinking we could confront it at the source."

"She fucking kept you from being Factionless and that's how you thank her?" Eric snarled as Clarissa cowered against the wall. Obviously that's why Chimera had come to his office so shaken that day. Clarissa had caused something that Chimera had completely suppressed to surface just in time for it to be picked up by the computer for her fear landscape.

"I just needed—"

"To get an advantage for your own landscape! And you did it at the cost of the only person who cared about you. The only person that put her life and position on the line to help out your sorry ass because you weren't going to make it through." Eric snarled maliciously. "Well I guess it worked since Carl didn't show up in your landscape this time around. So he moved from your sim to hers you—"

"I didn't think—" Clarissa tried to cut in through her sobs.

"You didn't think?! No wonder you had to fucking leave Erudite." Eric snarled viciously. "You shouldn't have even made it through the first round. You should be Factionle—"

"ERIC ENOUGH!" Flex shouted charging into the room, pulling Eric back by his vest forcefully. Eric shrugged him off, but Flex grabbed Eric's bicep to stop him from advancing again.

"Flex. Let go of me." Eric warned, venom lacing his voice as his bicep flexed dangerously under Flex's hand. Flex was momentarily stunned having never heard that tone from Eric before. It sent a cold chill right down his spine.

"She's—" Flex started.

"You had better not be here to defend—" Eric started.

"She should have been stronger!" Clarissa shouted at them her voice thick with tears. Eric's eyes narrowed in disgust and Flex took a step back stunned. They both couldn't believe what Clarissa had just said to them.

"Leave her alone. You need to finish up the initiate rankings." Flex ground out his own anger rising. Eric turned his eyes to Flex and for a tense moment Flex wondered if Eric was going to hit him. Eric took a deep breath and looked back at Clarissa. She wasn't worth losing his new position over. A position that actually gave him a chance at retribution on Chimera's behalf right now, even if Chimera probably wouldn't have approved of it.

"Not only did you cost Chimera her first place ranking, but now she's gotta live with the memory of being murdered by Carl for the REST of her life. You may have connived your into Dauntless, but you will NEVER be brave." Eric finished coldly. Clarissa crumpled to the ground with her face buried in her hands sobbing.

"I SAID that's enough man." Flex snapped jerking on Eric's arm, but Eric didn't budge.

"Enjoy your next few days here because you're heading to the fence without leave for a VERY long time." Eric told her darkly before pulling his arm out of Flex's grasp and walking away. Clarissa looked up from her hands after hearing Eric slam the door.

"Flex I didn't know it would do that to her. I just needed to face it so get through my landscape." Clarissa pleaded with him to understand. She was able to speak better now that Eric was out of the room.

"I get it Clary, but it was a pretty selfish thing to ask of her considering what happened. She fucking saved you more than once and you could have cost her a place in Dauntless. She didn't deserve that. You knew she wouldn't turn down helping you and you took advantage of that." Flex replied.

"I do care about her!" Clarissa shouted.

"Then why haven't you gone to check on her?" Flex asked her pointedly. Clarissa remained quiet clearly having no answer.

Flex shook his head knowing he needed to find Lucas and let him know what had gone down. Clarissa may be Lucas's girl of sorts, but to Flex, Chimera was like a little sister and what Clarissa had done was deeply messed up.

Eric took a moment to collect himself and let his anger fade before walking back into his office. He found Chimera curled up into a ball on the couch, almost fitting her whole body onto one cushion. Walking over to the couch he sat down at the far end. He rubbed his hands over his face as the shock of the last few hours settled over his body. He had just pulled off his vest when he felt Chimera shift and crawl into his lap. She laid her head against his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart for comfort as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Where'd you go?" She whispered her voice raw.

"Just had to deal with somethings. Go back to sleep." Eric soothed pulling the afghan around her. He felt her tense in his arms. 'She's worried about the nightmares.'

"You're safe. You are Dauntless." He told her gently.

Chimera felt tears prick her eyes as momentary relief flooded through her body. She'd made it. Eric reached up to touch her face, but stopped reflexively before remembering that as of the end of the landscapes initiation was over. He delicately traced one of her eyebrows with his middle finger moving down to trace the tearstains on her cheek. He gently pushed a piece of hair that had escaped her braids behind her ear wondering just when he had become so gentle.

Flex looked around the Pit hastily worry evident on his face. He spotted Four heading towards one of the hallways and jogged to intercept him.

"Four have you seen Chimera?" Flex asked worriedly. "She wasn't in the Med Unit when I went to check on her."

"One of the Leaders is looking after her." Four said pointedly. A look of understanding passed over Flex's face. Flex nodded to Four before turning to walk back through the Pit. Eric would take good care of Chimera and Flex could check on her later. Anyways, he needed to give Lucas a heads up about what Clarissa had done, and that he probably wouldn't be seeing Clarissa for a long time once the new initiates had been assigned their jobs.

'If Clarissa did this to Chimera to protect her own ass, then Lucas needs to know what type of a girl he's got himself involved with.' Flex thought. He needed to have a tough talk with Lucas about all this shit.

Chimera spent the night in Eric's office curled up on the couch with him. Four had come by Eric's office in the early morning to let Eric know that he was needed to start the process of removing the initiates that had not made it through initiation.

A few minutes after Eric had left promising to see her at lunch a knock sounded on his office door. Chimera remained absolutely silent.

"Nib it's me. Open the door."

Chimera moved quickly to the door and flung it open. Without a word Carmine strode in and enveloped Chimera in a huge bear hug. Chimera held on just as tight, new tears clawing their way into her eyes.

"Hey it's okay." Carmine soothed. "I'm gonna take you back to my apartment where you can get cleaned up and we can talk. No cameras in there." Carmine told her gently. Chimera nodded before releasing him from her arms.

"But what about on the way there?" Chimera worried.

"Everyone's busy with either the initiates leaving, the initiates staying, or getting themselves ready for the banquet tonight. Plus, you're a member now. You can do what you want. You did it Nib." Carmine said proudly.

Chimera nodded as a smile spread over her face. Carmine grinned back and led the way from Eric's office towards his living quarters on the other side of the compound. He made no comment as Chimera locked the door behind her with her key.

"It's a big sized suite since Katie and I live together. She likes it because she gets a huge place to herself most of the time. So feel free to raid her stuff for anything you need. I'll even make you breakfast." Carmine offered.

"You can cook?" Chimera asked slightly surprised.

"We have a lot of time to make up for kid." Carmine grinned opening the door to his apartment for her. Over the next few hours Chimera showered, detangled her hair, and ate breakfast. All the while having her first real, unguarded conversation with her father. She had never thought that something like this would be possible. He told all about his family that were dying to meet her, and she in turn told him about what had happened during her fear landscape.

"Look I saw your trainer's reaction to finding you Chimera. That wasn't something he'd seen before." Carmine pointed out. Chimera sighed.

"That sim had never happened before, and there was zero chance it was logged before. The computer pulled it the day of, which is why I was so blindsided by it." Chimera explained.

"What was the trigger Nib?" Carmine asked with a gentle forcefulness. Chimera looked up at her dad from across the table. She really didn't want to start digging at that whole situation right now.

"You're going to have to deal with this Chimera, and better now than later." Carmine told her. Chimera put her coffee mug down with a frustrated sigh.

"I went back up to the roof during the break between stage two and three." Chimera answered running her finger around the rim of her mug.

"Why?" Carmine pressed keeping his voice level.

"Because Clarissa wanted to 'exorcize' Carl from her mind in order to improve her sim time." Chimera explained lamely. She could feel the tension radiating off of her father.

"What did your gut tell about heading up there?" Carmine asked carefully.

"Not to do it." Chimera admitted. Carmine let out a long breath through his nose. Knowing his daughter and her Amity upbringing he understood exactly why she had done it. He needed to word his next sentence carefully in order to get his point across without making her upset.

"Glad you've made friends that have each others backs Nib." Carmine announced taking his empty plate to the sink. "That would have your back in the same situation."

Chimera looked up at her father's back sharply as doubts about her friendship with Clarissa flooded her mind. Did Clarissa actually have her back? Would she have done the same?

Chimera stood just around the corner from the entrance to the cafeteria at lunch hour, nervously fiddling with end of one of her braids. Judging by the noise most people were already inside. When she heard Max start talking about this year's initiation Chimera took a deep breath. She quietly slipped into the cafeteria without anyone noticing her, just as she had planned.

"Now to our final rankings!" Max called out obviously just finishing whatever speech he had been giving before she arrived.

A dramatic drumroll played before Lucas's picture was projected onto the wall. A huge cheer rang out in the dining hall. After a few minutes the rest of the rankings were posted. Chimera smiled seeing that she had ranked third just behind Greg. She was a little disappointed she had lost her first place position, but considering what had happened in the landscapes she was genuinely happy to have even made the top three.

Scanning the list quickly Chimera found that she, Greg, and Clarissa were the only transfers to have made it through to membership. Amber was gone. She saw that Clarissa once again had just made it above the cut line at number 10.

"Ranking third. Not bad at all!" Lucas smiled bursting through the crowd just next to her.

"Coming from the guy ranked first that does that not feel like a compliment." Chimera teased before pulling him into a hug. "I'm seriously happy for you though."

"Should've been you." Lucas whispered, obviously not intending for Chimera to hear it. Chimera pulled back and gave Lucas a questioning look.

"Hey doesn't the number two get some love?" Greg interrupted joining them holding his arms open.

"Of course, even if it will only encourage you, you pervert!" Chimera laughed jumping into Greg's arms choosing not to question Lucas's comment further, for now.

Greg spun her around in a circle only putting her down after her legs had smacked two people and Lucas. Looking around the room while people wished her, Greg and Lucas congratulations, Chimera's eyes stopped on Clarissa who was standing just off to the side of the group against the wall. Chimera smiled tightly, but waved her to come over seeing the distressed look on Clarissa's face.

"Congrats Clarissa, we all made it." Chimera said. Chimera was surprised when Clarissa looked up at her with tear filled eyes.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." Clarissa choked out as tears began to flow. Chimera quickly grabbed Clarissa's arm and pulled her out of the dining all. The Dauntless did not need to see the initiate that ranked last crying. As upset with Clarissa as she was Chimera didn't want to see Clarissa ostracized by the other Dauntless. 'Stupid Amity upbringing.' Chimera thought.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Chimera demanded letting go of Clarissa's arm once they were out of the cafeteria and away from the other members. "You can't go having a breakdown in front of everyone! What the hell is—"

"I swear I didn't know that making you go up on the roof would cause it to show up in your fear landscape." Clarissa sobbed. Chimera tensed.

"I know it cost you ranking first. I swear I didn't think your time could be affected by anything." Clarissa sobbed.

"How do you— "

"It wasn't right." Clarissa sobbed. "Eric's already said I'm going to the Fence."

"That would've happened either way. You're at the bottom." Chimera surprised even herself by saying. Clarissa looked shocked at Chimera's uncharacteristically cold tone.

"I was just afraid. Hell Eric said I may be kicked out anyway." Clarissa whispered through her sniffles before Lucas came around the corner looking for them.

"Eric said that?" Chimera demanded.

"Hey everything okay?" Lucas cut in. Judging by his tone he had overheard at last part of their conversation. To Chimera's surprise his concern was directed at her.

"Not by a long shot." Chimera answered. She was full of mixed and conflicting emotions. She was upset with Clarissa, mad at Carl, unsure about things with Eric, but mostly she was mad at herself.

Chimera knew how selfish it was of Clarissa to ask her onto the roof without considering what it could to her. Yet, Chimera had gone up to the roof willingly, even though her instincts had screamed at her not to. She was having a hard time processing everything that had happened in the last 5 days. She chose to focus on what Clarissa said about Eric kicking her out of Dauntless. Chimera moved quickly through the cafeteria looking for him. She spotted him after a few minutes of searching.

"Eric." Chimera cut in; her tone like ice as she walked up to him. Everyone around him seemed to sense the oncoming storm and made their excuses to get the hell away from the two of them.

"Watch your tone around me in public Chimera." Eric warned turning to her slowly. 'Why the hell does she look pissed at me?' Eric wondered.

"What the hell did you say to Clarissa?" Chimera asked icily not heeding Eric's warning. Eric raised an eyebrow at her feeling his own blood run cold.

"Only the truth." Eric said keeping his voice even and his temper in check. For now.

"And what truth was that?" Chimera hissed placing her hands on her hips.

"Relax your stance Chimera. I won't hesitate to put you in your place if you challenge my authority in public." Eric ordered her his tone deadly serious and icy cold. Chimera automatically dropped her hands to her sides. She was confused and angry, but not stupid. He was a Leader after all.

"Just tell me what happened. Please. Clarissa's a wreck thinking she's going to end up Factionless." She asked rubbing the heel of her palms into her eyes in an effort to massage out some of the tension building behind them.

"You're so quick to challenge me about upsetting someone who had no problem pressuring you to go up to the roof so they could deal with their shit." Eric sneered coldly.

"I'm not challenging you Eric." Chimera sighed.

"Oh really?" Eric challenged. "You're over here trying to lecture me about my behaviour when Clarissa caused all of this because she was selfish. She's never once said she wished she could it back am I right? That she made a mistake."

"No she didn't. You're right. Okay Eric, but that doesn't mean you use what happened to me to threaten to kick other people out of the Faction!" Chimera hissed through her clenched teeth. She wasn't sure if she was still angry with him for threatening Clarissa, or just mad at the situation she in general.

"You are in no position to ever question how I deal with members." Eric reminded her coldly causing Chimera to take a small step back from him.

"Eric, I'm in no way Abnegation, but you have no right to run around threatening people, my friends, and treating them like shit because of what happened in my landscape. You keep doing that and everyone is going to figure out what happened!" Chimera told him forcefully.

"Say what you want about my treatment of people, but I've never treated my close friends that poorly, and don't forget everyone could hear what you were saying in your landscape. You don't need to be Erudite to figure out what shit was going down in your landscape." Eric told her darkly, closing the space between them so the were almost nose to nose. "And are you even really mad at me? Or are you lashing out at me because you're realizing that the person whose back you've had, the person whose ass you put yourself on the line for, would never do the same for you?"

Chimera took a step back like she had been physically struck, which in a way his words had. 'Why did I pick a fight with the one person that can see straight through my bullshit.'

She knew that Eric had literally just voiced the exact thing she was avoiding confronting in her own thoughts. "Why go after her so harshly Eric? I made my choices and she made hers."

"She needed to know what she cost you. I won't let something like that go on without making sure the person responsible is held accountable." Eric answered straightening up. He cast his eyes around them before looking back at her. "You were ripped apart because of her actions."

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that after—"

"It wasn't the after Chi." Eric cut in lowering his voice to whisper. "Remember I have been there for you for six weeks after your sims and right after your FRIEND took you up to the roof."

"Then why does it bother you? It was my landscape, my body he carved into, my memory he's going to live in forever Eric, not yours." Chimera pointed out angrily as her sim memories danced just at the edge of her mind.

"It's burned into my memory too Chi. Even though you had to live it I had to sit there and watch every moment paralyzed in the trance." Eric told her harshly before he could stop himself. He hadn't meant to tell her that and turned his gaze away from her as he clinched his jaw. Chimera's face instantly changed from angered frustration to soft understanding.

'He's hurt that he didn't show up in my landscape to stop it.' She realized.

"Eric when it was real you stopped him." Chimera reminded him. Eric's eyes shifted to hers momentarily before looking around the room avoiding making eye contact with her again. Vulnerability was not something he was comfortable with and this was getting way too personal and deep for his comfort.

"I know I stopped it in real life, but that's not it." He ground out. He had the urge to just ask her why he didn't show up. Had what he done for her had so little an impact on her? He crossed his arms closing himself off physically and hopefully emotionally from her until he got a handle on his own emotions.

"Then what was it Eric?" Chimera asked placing her hand on his crossed arm.

Eric saw the way she was looking at him, felt the way her thumb was moving on his arm unconsciously to comfort him, and how his own body and mind were responding to her. He would never admit to the fear he felt watching her in that sim during her landscape. Fear was not Dauntless.

"Even the most experienced leaders couldn't believe how violent your rooftop sim was. It was some straight fucked up shit and bothered everyone who had to watch it." Eric told her hoping the conversation would end.

"Oh right, okay." Chimera replied disappointed. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I can't imagine having to live in other peoples nightmares." Chimera apologized retracting her hand from his arm feeling him frosting her out. She wasn't sure what type of an answer she expected, but the one he gave left her disappointed, and a little hurt. Eric let out a frustrated sigh rubbing his hands over his face irritation and frustration.

Chimera waited a moment for Eric to say something, anything to help her sort out where they should go from here. Eric clinched his jaw tighter as he tried to sort out his own turbulent thoughts.

"Look I have to get ready for the banquet so I'll just see you around." Chimera muttered quickly before swiftly moving away from Eric. Eric reached out too stop her knowing he had to fix this, but she had already disappeared into the crowd.

"Fuck." He whispered angrily to himself.

AN: Okay been on hiatus for a LOT longer than I had planned, but this chapter is about 12,000 words so I hope it soothes any hard feelings.. I hope you can forgive me with the addition of this chapter.

For those of you that have stuck by this story, thank you. I hope I won't let you down again. I start back at work soon but my goal is to try and get up a chapter per 6 weeks. Next chapter is the banquet! :D

Please let me know that you are still with me, and also things you would like to see happen at the banquet!

All my love,

Rayn