A/N: Okay so the most profuse of apologies for the delay with this chapter. I was traveling a LOT for work last fall and the show sucks (I don't watch anymore) and I started Outlander and now all I want to do is read (and watch) that (Jamie + Claire 5EVA) and just AHHHHHH. Thanks to all of those who constantly CONSTANTLY CONSTANTLY checked in on when/if this story was coming back. (To those who messaged me on FFN- I NEVER check those messages, I kind of forget that feature even exists so I apologize for not responding but thanks for your interest!)

Word to the wise so ya'll can stop asking me – I DO plan on finishing this story. I think one more chapter and an epilogue, and while I'd like to revisit this 'verse in the future for little one shots whenever the spirit moves me, SCANDAL SUCKS NOW so I don't really see myself ever getting appropriate inspiration. Never say never though! But the updates will most likely be few and far between because like I said the show sucks, I've moved on to other things, and just don't have the time or motivation/inspiration to write this story like I did a year ago when I was first drafting it.

Also full disclosure I am not now nor have I ever been pregnant or a mother so this chapter was interesting to write (and probably also part of the reason why it took me so long to finish). I could edit this thing forever but I just want to post it because you guys have waited long enough. Annnyyywayy, without further ado…

The One Where They Become Parents

Jack Jerry Pope Grant was born on September 20th at 11:08PM, weighing seven pounds, six ounces.

His mother cried all throughout labor, even after the epidural eased the unbearable, inescapable pain to a dull ache, and like the incredible man his father was, Fitz talked Olivia through the entire thing, tucking his face close to hers as he held her hand and brushed tears from her cheeks. He told her how much he loved her; that marrying her was the best decision he'd ever made in his life and with "just a couple more pushes, we'll meet our baby" – all while she moaned and cried and probably defecated on herself just like she'd feared for months she would ("I really really don't want to shit myself." "You won't shit yourself." "But if I do, promise you'll still love me and that your penis will still get hard for me?" "Baby, there's nothing you could do that would make me not love you or make my penis not get hard for you.").

She'd made him promise to stay by her head and not stand behind the doctor to watch the birth as it happened – she was positive his penis would never get hard for her again if he saw that – and to placate and mollify her he had agreed. The entire time he remained warm, loving and supportive and she loved him so endlessly she couldn't even imagine going through the experience with anyone else.

And upon a glorious sharp cry piercing the air, Fitz came to her red faced and crying as he placed an equally-red faced and crying bundle of blankets into her arms. In some faint far off-sounding distance she heard her OB say, "Olivia, meet your son!" and in total awe she stared down into a tiny face remarkably like her own, gasping in shock as the realization set in that she was now, officially, a mother.

Ten fingers, ten toes, a healthy set of lungs, and a surprising shock of curly golden-brown hair astoundingly similar in texture to Fitz's greeted her as she gawked at her baby boy in wonder, gazing into strikingly clear eyes that were a gorgeous combination of green and grey.

Motherhood was, of course, life changing and awe-inspiring and she truly had never known a love like that which she felt for her baby– all of those clichés she'd heard and rolled her eyes at were true. But it was also weird – how she seemingly couldn't even remember what her life had been like before him, how quickly she adapted to caring for and prioritizing another human being above herself, how JJ consumed virtually every single thought of every waking moment (and even her dreams too).

It was jarring.

It was surreal.

And she hadn't anticipated how much she would think about her own parents every time she looked into her baby boy's face. They had taken the news of her marriage and pregnancy badly and she was more or less completely estranged from them now, which blew her mind. She couldn't even fathom the thought of disowning or ostracizing her son, let alone actually going through with it. The fact that her parents didn't even seem interested to know her child (their grandchild!) would always haunt her.

But Olivia was too busy focusing on being a good parent to her son to agonize over her folks being awful parents to her.

The last time she'd spoken to them had been the final straw.

Like a bat out of hell, Maddie was driving her and Fitz to the hospital in his Range Rover because Liv had gone into labor during their weekly Sunday dinner at Maddie's house after experiencing – and concealing – contractions for most of the day. Beside her in the backseat, after admonishing his mother to slow down and not kill them before they could welcome their child into the world, Fitz rang Maya and Eli to tell them that they were imminently about to become grandparents.

Even within the throes of increasingly unbearable contractions, Olivia had been floored by the pleading in her husband's voice when he said, "I know you hate me. And you can hate me. But please don't hate your grandchild. It would mean the world to Liv, literally everything, to have you here. I'll take care of all the arrangements. Just please come."

If she weren't busy trying to breathe she would have wept right there over how well her husband had her back.

She couldn't quite hear what her father said something in return, but it made Fitz flush with anger, his hand briefly tightening over hers. Contractions be damned, she reached across the backseat to take the phone from him. Her husband immediately relented, wrapping his arm around her shoulders in an inherently protective, instinctively masculine gesture, tugging her against him as she fought to breathe steadily.

"Daddy," she panted. "Your daughter is about to have a baby. Please get the fuck over yourself and come meet your grandchild."

As a black woman, she'd never spoken to her parents like that before (and would murder JJ – and then turn herself in – if he ever did the same) but she blamed her insubordination on labor pains and figured there was a first time for everything.

She was sick and tired of begging for approval that she would never receive.

She was a grown woman – a wife and now mother – and she no longer had time for her parents' bullshit. In the end the call made no difference; her plea went completely unheeded as her father wished her well in his usual detached, unemotional way and didn't even bother to pass the phone to her mother before he disconnected.

Before Olivia could even begin to process her father's most recent – and most painful – rejection, dial tone still ringing in her ear, Maddie had cursed vociferously, swerving to avoid an elderly man who had suddenly decided to take his walker out for a very slow stroll in the middle of the street. Olivia looked up at her harried mother-in-law in the drivers seat – curly grey hair spilling over her broad shoulders, long gardener's fingers adorned in half a dozen silver and gold rings frantically clutching the steering wheel – and felt a bittersweet cocktail of emotions (gratitude, sadness, envy) swirl within her.

Her husband had been blessed with at least one great parent while she had been cursed with two terrible ones.

"Just breathe, Livvie," Maddie called back to her as their eyes met in the rearview. "We're almost there!"

That was the last moment Olivia allowed herself to wallow in self-pity about the fraught relationship with her parents. As another contraction tore through her and she felt like her pelvis was being ripped apart, as her gaze locked with big blue eyes the spitting image of her husband's, Olivia finally realized that she was part of a pretty awesome, wonderfully supportive clan right here in Vermont. And that was the family she wanted her son to be a part of, not her dysfunctional, judgmental kin down in DC.

JJ would probably rather spend his summers running around his Gramma M's backyard than on Martha's Vineyard anyway.

Really, her parents had done her a favor.

So, Maddie was the first grandparent to hold JJ as Big Jerry looking on proudly with an unmistakable sheen of tears clouding his usually cold, unemotional gaze. The elder Grant had actually been pretty great the last few months, so much so she and Fitz barely hesitated to name their son for him – because Jerry was a family name, after all, which meant a lot to them, and as much as Liv loved her husband, she'd be damned if she named their kid Fitzgerald too. So Jerry was their compromise and she'd grown to like it quite a bit. And damned if their son's namesake hadn't choked up upon hearing the dedication, clutching his own son in a fierce embrace that brought tears to Liv's eyes.

And as she looked around at the people filling her hospital room – the Grants, the Thomas' (Maddie's side of the family), James and Cyrus, Quinn and Abby – cooing over her gorgeous new baby boy, she felt sated and replete.

This is my family now.

So as somewhat of a final goodbye (or final olive branch, she supposed), Olivia texted three photos to her parents – a solo shot of a wide-eyed JJ nestled in his striped hospital blanket, a photo of she and JJ cuddled together on her hospital bed and an image of the two of them with Fitz – their first (of many) official family portrait. The scene was so beautiful it took Liv's breath away. They weren't looking in the camera – JJ was snuggled in her arms while she and Fitz stared at one another with awed exaltation naked on their faces.

The photo (which instantly became her iPhone's wallpaper) represented her incandescent happiness, the security she'd found with Fitz and the completion of her life since she'd moved to Vermont. She knew that nothing would piss her parents off more.

She no longer cared for their approval or their company because she'd found her place in the world and it was in Burlington with Fitz and their son.

And those first few weeks post-delivery were a blur – she essentially never left the house, holed up on little-to-no sleep with a cranky baby, sore nipples (and other more intimate bits) and the chronic stress of figuring out how to do this – how to be a mother, how to be a wife, how to be a mother and a wife and somehow try desperately not to lose herself – the badass Olivia Pope career woman she was still determined to be.

Friends and family came over in droves to coo over the baby and Fitz thankfully took a month off to stay home with her so they could both practice being parents (the fact that Fitz's father was a partner carried a lot of clout) but eventually duty called and he had to go back to his obligations at the firm and the university.

Olivia relied on Maddie a lot after Fitz went back to work, as her mother-in-law essentially moved in to their house to help her care for JJ during the day. In that time of frantic, uncertain new motherhood Liv felt like Maddie was more of a mother to her – more reassuring, and thoughtful, and concerned – than her mother had ever been. She couldn't even imagine Maya giving her advice on breast feeding, or changing a diaper, or singing a bunch of silly yet wildly inappropriate songs to her cranky baby in hopes of calming him down.

Olivia felt like she was learning how to be a mom through her interactions with Maddie. She watched how the older woman doted on her son and grandson and knew that JJ would grow to be as obsessed with his Gramma M as she had come to be.

Through it all, Liv learned rather quickly that there was so much to do and so much to learn beginning one's own family and there were never enough hours in the day.

Something had to give, something had to be sacrificed – and after JJ's birth, it was her marriage.

In many ways she and Fitz now acted like friends more than spouses as she essentially holed up like a recluse nesting with their son (trying to even go grocery shopping with a newborn was quite the daunting task) while he was back to work.

Fitz, for his part, was great – Father of the Year. He came home for lunch as much as he could, and Facetimed and Skyped a lot during the day, picking right back up where he left off when he got home. Each evening, without fail, he'd pull her into his arms for a quick kiss, take the baby from her and spend the next several hours playing with JJ; changing his diapers; and feeding him his bottle (Liv considered the breast pump the greatest invention of all time and was sure to pump enough milk so that JJ wouldn't need to sup from her breast for several hours after his daddy got home).

Every single night, he gave her time to herself, away from their newborn, to do whatever it was that she wanted – bathe, sleep, catch up on all of the mindless TV piling up on their DVR or just lock herself in their bedroom to sit in silence.

She was beyond grateful that he was such an awesome dad and so eager to help out and give her a break from Mommy Duty – but all that meant was that they never had time for themselves. Their lives had become, quite obviously, all about the baby.

And Liv missed her husband terribly.

They slept in the same bed, but they didn't spoon anymore. They kissed, but not passionately (her knees still went weak nonetheless). Fitz appeared somewhat skittish around her, she assumed nervous about her mood swings – which he never had been before (because she'd always been pretty mercurial, pre-JJ), but now he seemingly tiptoed around her like she was fragile (or worse, unstable) and after six weeks she thought she would go insane if it went on one more day.

He was called into court last minute just as they were heading out for their big six-week postnatal check-up so she and JJ went without him. Her OB declared them both completely healthy and not so subtly gave Liv the green light to move full steam ahead with all sexual activities. Although her body had more or less snapped back, Liv still had about 10 pounds to lose to get back to her pre-pregnancy weight and she felt gross – tired, fuzzy-brained and stretch-marked – and those maladies coupled with the isolating bubble of new-motherhood meant that she'd pretty much rebuffed any physical affection beyond the most stolid of kisses.

She just didn't feel sexy, or like having sex, at all.

But she eventually realized those rebuffs were probably part of the reason Fitz was so hesitant with his affection so she decided to try. If he wasn't going to make the first move – and he wouldn't, because he was perfect and knew better than to push her to do anything she didn't want to do – she was going to have to be the one to seduce him.

After she got home from the doctor, after she'd successfully put JJ to bed (at this point, he could sleep for up to four hours before waking or needing to be fed, and she'd pumped enough milk to get them both through the night), she had put on her slinkiest, sheerest lace nightie to seduce Fitz the second he'd walked through the door. And it had almost worked – his eyes had darkened, ears reddening in that telltale way that meant he was ready to devour her, and he had just scooped her up into his massive arms, mouth ghosting inches from hers, his sweet breath tickling her lips – when a painfully ear-piercing squeal erupted from the baby monitor.

Blinded by rage and sexual frustration, Liv nearly screamed herself as Fitz immediately stepped back, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to her forehead (not even her lips!) and rushed away to aid their son. She stared after him in disbelief, her body humming; core dripping with unquenched desire.

She hadn't even been in the mood for sex since the baby had been born, but after forcing herself to make an effort to spice their marriage back up, just one embrace and near kiss from Fitz had the blood humming in her veins.

Now she was horny, soaking wet and aching for his touch, feeling both incessantly annoyed and painfully guilty for feeling incessantly annoyed when JJ was restless and colicky for the rest of the night, thereby destroying any chance of loving for his mama.

And somehow that one night turned into one week, and then two, and then it was Thanksgiving and JJ was eight weeks old with parents who still hadn't had sex since the night before he was born (because Pregnant Olivia was Insatiable Olivia and they had had a lot – lot – of sex when she'd been expecting).

Because she was still in total nesting mode, she'd had the crazy notion to invite everyone over to their house for Thanksgiving instead of going to Maddie's place like they usually did. She envisioned an intimate dinner where everyone could watch and coo over JJ while she puttered around the kitchen like the little hausfrau she'd become since his birth. She liked being a mother – she was obsessed with it, in many ways – but she didn't like feeling this overwhelmed and out-of-control, and had soon come to regret her dinner invitation.

She'd pulled everything together in the end (with a lot of help from Fitz, Maddie and Quinn and Abby) but was so burnt out from cooking and entertaining that by the time dinner was served, she just pushed the food around her plate and kept a wary, watchful eye on JJ dozing – bright green pacifier snug between his lips – in the baby bouncer at her feet.

And still, through it all, she felt like a sex-crazed monster, that one near-miss weeks earlier having awoken the sexual beast within her. She ached for Fitz's touch, marveling over how easy it was to miss someone with whom she shared a bed every night, and steadily watched him – how his lips stretched over his teeth when he smiled; how his thin cashmere sweater pulled tight over his shoulders and the rippling muscles of his upper back; how his large, wide hands held his silverware; how his wedding ring glinted in the light from the chandelier hanging above their dining room table.

He was gorgeous, he was sexy, he was hers, and while there was proximity and partnership, there wasn't the intimacy that she was accustomed to and she craved it from him.

After seeing just how harried Olivia was over Thanksgiving, Quinn and Abby insisted on treating her to her first night out post-baby that weekend. She had immediately refused because she wanted that first night out post-baby to be a sexy date night with her sexy husband. But in broaching the subject with Fitz – finally ready to stop being passive aggressive and confront head-on the disconnection she'd been feeling from him – she had barely gotten the words out of her mouth ("The girls want to take me for my first night out post-JJ") before Fitz nodded in such frantic tacit agreement she suddenly felt irrational, like he was trying to get rid of her.

He offered her a half-smile as he said, "You should go, baby. You've been run-ragged ever since JJ was born and deserve an evening off."

Olivia glared at him, infuriated that he didn't seem to care about her first night out being with him. And out of spite and anger and a lifetime of passive aggressive conditioning, not to mention a fried brain she blamed solely on new motherhood, instead of actually just coming out and telling him that like a normal person, she'd stormed off to their room to call the girls and tell them to pick her up at eight.

They went to their favorite cocktail bar downtown and Olivia got completely wasted – having not had more than a sip of alcohol in the better part of a year, she was a total cheap date and eternally grateful she'd pumped enough milk to feed JJ through morning.

She whined to her girlfriends about how much she missed her husband, and sex with her husband, and kissing and cuddling her husband. She whined that she was certain he was being skittish and pushing her away because she had been skittish and pushing him away, but only because motherhood was all so overwhelming and scary and she didn't feel even remotely sexy – just like she knew she wouldn't – and could barely stand to look at herself, let alone have him look at – or touch – her.

But now, even though she still didn't really feel all that beautiful or sexy (she wondered and worried if the skin on her abdomen would always be so loose and droopy) she realized she loved and wanted her husband more than she hated and resented her post-baby body, and she was terrified that while she felt confident she was more or less acing the New Mommy thing, she was maybe not doing so well in the Wife department.

It was so hard prioritizing both, but she was sick to death of her marriage suffering so her son could thrive.

She was determined to find some kind of balance between the two.

And Quinn and Abby, her two best friends, were so understanding and reassuring and blunt when they told her to stop being so dramatic and to stop making excuses.

"Seriously, Liv, I've never seen a woman's body bounce back so fast after pregnancy before," Abby (who had three sisters, eight nieces and nephews and countless fertile female cousins) slurred reassuringly as they toasted their fifth (or was it sixth?) cocktail. "My cousin Pam still looks like a house and her youngest is fifteen!"

Liv snorted gracelessly as she stirred her straw around her drink and Quinn nodded in agreement. "You need to drag your sexy ass home and sit on his face and force him to have sex with you!"

"I don't want to force my husband to have sex with me, Quinn," Liv whined, staring down at her glistening diamond rings in defeat. "I feel like we literally became that cliché you hear about all the time about those couples who have kids and then never have sex again. That wasn't supposed to be us."

But so far, it was.

The girls sent her home in an Uber and she kicked off her heels the second she walked through the front door, shrugging out of her vintage white pea coat and throwing it on the bench in the foyer, too drunk and determined to care about hanging it up now. The house was quiet beyond the sound of the TV in the living room as she headed toward it in search of her men.

Her heart skipped a beat, stomach dropping at the sight of Fitz lying on the couch watching Monday Night Football (his beloved Patriots against some team with really hideous orange jerseys) with a dozing JJ sprawled out on his father's chest. They both looked so peaceful and perfect, her two boys, that she burst into tears the second she saw them and Fitz's expression rapidly evolved from happiness to see her to amusement at her obvious drunkenness to horror at her weeping.

"Livvie, what's wrong? What happened?"

He carefully set JJ down on the sofa, creating a fortress of throw pillows while their boy didn't miss a beat and continued sleeping peacefully (he was like his Mama that way, he really loved his sleep – when he was out, he was out), and was in front of her in seconds, one hand curling around her hip as the other cupped her cheek, brushing tears from her face.

She instantly relaxed into his embrace, instinctually leaning into his hand as she sniffled.

"What's going on baby?" He peered down into her face with so much concern she felt a fresh wave of tears building in her throat.

"I'm drunk," she sobbed, swallowing a burp. The good news was she was fairly certain he wouldn't need to hold her hair back for her tonight.

"I can tell," he said softly, his eyes twinkling with delight. "You deserved a night out. Clearly you guys had a good time."

Annoyance flooded her. He still didn't get it.

Ugh, men, she thought bitterly. They're so dense. Everything always has to be spelled out for them.

She glared at him, opening her mouth to yell when she remembered their son was sleeping only feet away. "Yeah, well, I would have preferred to have had a good time out with you."

He frowned, realization dawning in those huge blue eyes she loved so dearly. "Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh.'"

"Livvie."

"Don't you 'Livvie' me," she snapped, waving a finger in his face as she felt an irrational temper tantrum coming on. "I miss you Fitz!" She whined piteously, deciding in that moment to stop being a child (seriously, JJ was more mature at 8 weeks than she was at 27 years at this point) and come right out with what was nagging her. "Don't you miss me?"

"What's to miss?" He asked in confusion. "Baby, I'm right here." He took her hand in his and placed it over his heart. "I've always been right here. I haven't gone anywhere."

She shook her head. "No. That's not what I mean and you know it. Don't be obtuse, it's not cute." Quick glance at JJ – still sleeping. "We barely touch anymore. We hardly kiss. We haven't had sex since before the baby and I got the green light weeks ago! I miss you." She reached out to grab him through his sweatpants, smirking when she felt his dick thicken in her hands.

He softened as her words set in, pupils darkening with lust, the hand on her hip tightening as he reached back out to stroke her jawline. "I miss you too Livvie."

Her heart melted when he smiled, her hand continuing to stroke him through his pants and she sighed in relief as he leaned in to kiss her, "Then fuck me. Right now. Please."

He chuckled as his mouth claimed hers and the second she parted her lips to accept his tongue, the long-simmering embers within her instantly sparked to life. She jumped up to wrap her legs around his waist as he walked her over to the couch perpendicular to their sleeping son, wasting no time pushing her dress up – and her tights down – to find her soaking wet and aching between her thighs. She whimpered into his mouth as he plunged three fingers into her and sucked in a sharp breath as he peppered kisses along her throat, "So wet for me, Livvie. Mmmm." He pulled his fingers out long enough to lick them and she stared at him through hooded eyes as her stomach clenched in need when he whispered, "Oh God. It has been too long."

"Now, Fitz. Now." She reached for the waistband of his sweatpants, pushing them down until his cock broke free and bobbed up against his stomach, her mouth watering as she fisted him hot and heavy in her hand. "God, I missed you," she sighed as he cupped a breast in his hand and slurped her nipple through the cashmere fabric of her dress. "I need you. Now, now, now, now! Please." She wrapped an arm around his head to pull him down on top of her, locking her legs around his waist as her entire body hummed with delicious anticipation.

He dragged his weeping flesh through her slick folds without finesse, licking his lips as he sank into her with one long thrust burying him to the hilt. They swallowed each other's soft moans as she slowly adjusted to his girth (it had been a long time) before they began to roll and grind their hips together as quietly as possible so as not to wake the angelically sleeping infant beside them.

"So good," Fitz moaned as he licked a stripe up her throat and she sighed blissfully, so happy to finally feel his weight on top of and inside her, wrapping her arm around his neck to hold him in place. "So perfect. My Livvie."

"We're never going two days without sex again, let alone two months," she panted as she reached for the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head so she could feast her eyes on his perfect broad chest smattered with dusty hair, his rippling abs clenching with each insistent thrust into her hot, slick, aching core.

"Come for me, Livvie," he begged as his hand slid between their bodies to thumb at her clit. She bit down on her lip to stop the scream she felt building in her chest – she could not wake JJ, not now, not when his Daddy was buried so deep inside her she saw God, not when he was making her feel so fucking good she thought she'd spontaneously combust from the pure ecstasy of his touch.

She raked her fingers over his scalp as she bucked and rolled her hips up to his, watching his glassy eyes darken with his impending release, loving how hard he fought to hold back and make sure she came first – always first with him, so selfless, her gorgeous perfect precious husband.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," she panted breathlessly as she came, stars exploding behind her eyelids as her body clenched and twitched beneath him, drawing her hips up and back to tighten her legs around his waist. He pressed her into the sofa with all of his weight and slammed into her with erratic, jerky thrusts signaling the end for him was near.

"Come on baby," she whispered, raking her nails down his chest, licking the column of his throat and circling her hips below him when he stiffened, moaning her name long and low against her neck as he twitched and emptied himself inside her still-rippling core.

They shook together in post-orgasmic bliss, kissing slow and deep, tongues tangling and teasing as their hands caressed and soothed and took their fill. Liv still hadn't regained feeling in her toes when Fitz began to kiss a warm trail down her body, stopping to pull her dress over her head (she tilted her hips up to help him) and whimpered when he pushed her lacy bra aside to maul her breasts, laving the turgid peaks, slurping on her nipples so hard he suckled milk.

"Fitz," she sighed, dragging her hands through his curls as he continued his way down to the softness of her belly, pressing a kiss to the small, inch-long stretch mark that she continued to agonize over (that he teased her for agonizing over) so sweetly tears immediately sprang to her eyes.

And then his mouth was on her core, still so sensitive from their lovemaking and her last orgasm. She gasped so loud she had to slap her hand over her mouth, rolling her head to the side to make sure JJ was still asleep – check – as Fitz devoured her, his tongue thoroughly lapping at their combined juices as he loved her so expertly, as only he could, she came in fifteen seconds flat, maybe twenty, grinding her hips into his face as she bit down on her fingers to suppress her moans.

"Oh my Godddd," she whined, arching her back as the force of her orgasm cramped her stomach almost painfully and she took deep breaths, rolling her pelvis to try to relax the muscles.

But then Fitz was diving back down to slick the flat of his tongue along her wet folds, thrusting the hilt of it into her core like it was his cock, and even as she whimpered pathetically, "No, no, no, no more, I can't take it, don't-," she couldn't resist fucking his face as hard as possible as he blessed her with two more quick, mind-blowing, earth shattering orgasms – because even the painful cramping of her stomach couldn't stop her from grinding herself against that magical tongue.

Then he kissed his way back up her body, taking more time to lave her breasts and slurp more of her milk ("Ew," she said, to which he chuckled as he continued to drink, "Yum," and her cunt clenched because God it was so hot butalso "Leave some for your son, buddy!").

"I love you, Livvie," he whispered as he kissed her lips so she could taste herself. "So much. So much. And I missed you too."

"Didn't feel like it for a while."

"I'm sorry. It's stressful having a new baby, recovering from childbirth, breastfeeding. I didn't want to push you. I know better than that. I just – I was just trying to be supportive. "

Ugh. Of course he was. And she had to repay him for his support by being a total immature asshole – as usual. Sometimes more than others (like now) she was really aware of how much more growing up she still had to do. "I know. I just – I don't want us to be one of those couples, Fitz."

He crooked a brow in confusion. "What kind of couple?"

"The kind of couple that had it great until they had kids. I love JJ more than my life," she cast a glance at their sleeping angel and felt her heart clench in her chest.

He was perfect.

Complexion the perfect shade in between her skin tone and Fitz's, JJ had her face with his father's coloring; big, deep-set green eyes the color of rich sea moss and light brown curls that looked almost gold in the sunlight – and he was such a Zen, serene little man, completely laidback and unbothered by just about everything (which he definitely got from his father); and he had slept through his parents loud (because they really weren't as quiet as they should have been), hot lovemaking – so she adored him even more than she had even 10 minutes ago.

"But you are the most important person to me, Fitz – our marriage has to be solid, for JJ's sake and for our own. I need to know that no matter what, you're going to be there, you're going to push back if I push you away, you're not going to let me do that to you, even if you think it's what I want-"

She was crying now and hated herself for it.

"That's what my mom did to my Dad. I know he wouldn't be as cold as he is now if she hadn't – if she wasn't… But she was. She is. Some of my earliest memories of them together are of her rebuffing his advances, turning her cheek when he tried to kiss her lips, dodging any attempt at a hug. And she would never ever say 'I love you' back." Liv swallowed a sob she felt rattling in her chest. "Eventually my father stopped saying it at all, including to me. I'm more like her than I want to admit but not like that. Never like that. Please, promise me you won't let me be like that."

She loathed the desperate, insecure pleading in her tone and was suddenly weeping, exhausted from alcohol and lovemaking and her own inner demons, and her husband stared at her in shock, cupping her face as he whispered soothing words of love and reassurance, steeling her with his strength and his belief in her, with his never-ending support.

The expression on his face was so reverent and full of adoration she lost her breath. "You're not like that," he said so fiercely she believed him, just like that. "You're warm, and funny, and loving, and loyal, and honest, and yeah, a pain in the ass, but you excite me. You're so much fun, Livvie. I'm never, ever bored with you, not for a moment. And since JJ was born, you've been incredible; just – the most amazing mother. A complete natural. The second he arrived, you just transformed into this remarkable, like, mama bear and just. . . Seriously, I've been in awe of you."

She sidestepped his words because if she addressed them head on she'd never stop weeping. "I didn't want my first night out post-baby to be me getting drunk with Quinn and Abby," she pouted.

"I know that now. But if you had just been upfront with me from the beginning, it never would have come to that and you know it."

She pouted because he was right, as always. "I know." She felt ashamed of herself, and embarrassed, when those old remnants of her upbringing seeped through to cloud her judgment and stifle her maturity. She had to be better at being more consistently direct – she was a mother now and had no time for passive aggression.

"You need to stop doing that shit, Livvie. Holding things in, expecting me to read your mind – just tell me. Okay? Because this whole time, I thought I was treating you – night away from the baby, with your girlfriends, I thought – isn't that every woman's dream? 'Am I Husband of the Year or what?'"

She laughed at that and cupped his face to kiss him, slurping his lower lip between her teeth to nip at the flesh. "Husband of the Millennium."

He kissed her back just as feverishly and she sighed into his mouth as they pulled away.

"It probably is most women's dream but I would imagine they'd still rather be out with their husbands over their girls. The girls aren't as important to me as you are, you know that."

Fitz nodded. "Okay. So, what do you say – date night once a week? Mom would love to watch him. Or James and Cyrus, because they've been dying to practice for when their adoption goes through."

"Date night, once a week," Liv agreed. "And future reference, mister, I'm telling you now – for baby number two, my first night out is with you."

He leaned down to nuzzle her nose, sly smirk splitting his face as his big blue eyes dancing with happiness. "Want to try for baby #2 now?"

She rolled her eyes and faux pushed him away. "I think we just did." Although she'd gone back on the pill as soon as it was safe to, she wasn't quite sure it had taken full effect yet. There was absolutely a chance she could be pregnant again. But I will not obsess, I will not obsess, I will not obsess; she told herself over and over again.

"You always said you wanted to have them close together..." He kissed her nose and even though she was still lying on her back with him between her legs, she felt weak in the knees as she closed her eyes and blindly found his mouth with hers.

"Not this close together!" I will not obsess, I will not obsess, I will not obsess.

(When she got her period ten days later she was more than a little relieved.)

Fitz's title as The World's Best Husband was secure because just days after their talk, he surprised her with a sitter – Maddie – and reservations at their favorite restaurant. She'd gotten all dressed up in her favorite skintight dress and sky-high stilettos for the long-overdue date on the town with her husband. He'd surprised her with a blooming bouquet of roses and hydrangeas (how he'd found the latter in December in Vermont she'd never know) and picked her up like they were still dating, plying her with top shelf Champagne while they cuddled in their favorite booth, drowning out the din of silverware tinkling, glasses clinking and Christmas music twinkling in the background as they stayed wrapped up in one another as if it was the old days, pre-baby.

And when they'd gotten home, after checking on a happily sleeping JJ (Liv was convinced Maddie was The Baby Whisperer), Fitz made love to her into the wee hours of the morning and curled his big, strong body around hers as they finally collapsed exhausted into slumber.

When JJ squealed for his first feeding hours later, Fitz brought the squealing baby to their bed, sliding him into her arms as she bared her breast. She dozed throughout the entire feeding, waking long enough to see Fitz shift JJ to her other breast before burping the little man over his shoulder and settling him back in his bassinet. Then he climbed back into bed, curled around her, and immediately fell back asleep.

In the morning, he made Liv her favorite guilty pleasure breakfast of cheese grits and extra crispy bacon (which reminded her of her Nana Pope). With JJ gurgling in his bassinet, she'd been unable to resist showing her appreciation for her husband by slipping to her knees to take him into her mouth, fisting and slurping on his meaty cock, happily drinking every drop of his release as he fucked her face, sighed her name and gripped handfuls of her curls in his fists.

Marriage and sex life back on track with Christmas days away, they had begun to seriously discuss looking for a bigger house in the New Year where they could truly put down roots for their expanding family.

Liv loved their little home, Fitz having put in a great deal of work to renovate bits and pieces of the charming old house – namely the kitchen and master bathroom – but it was still a little too antique for DC Olivia's tastes. She'd never really minded all that much before, because it had just been the two of them and that was more than enough, and its coziness made her feel safe and maternal all throughout her pregnancy. But JJ was actually here now and she wanted the absolute best for him and his future siblings and that meant a bigger house.

So one cold, snowy afternoon two days before Christmas, Fitz bundled Liv and JJ into his Range Rover and drove the family up a familiar mountain road. Liv's eyes grew wide and excited as she watched the scenery she'd come to know well breeze by, quirking a brow in confusion when he sped past the cutoff to their special clearing, instead turning down a quiet tree-covered lane about a quarter mile up the road.

"Fitz, what is this?" Liv asked as he pulled up to a wide expanse of land, what essentially appeared to be an empty field overlooking Burlington and Lake Champlain with spectacularly breathtaking views that more than rivaled their clearing.

He winked at her as he quickly hopped out of the truck, rushing around to her side to help her out (still, as always, ever the gentleman), opening the back door so they could keep an eye on a dozing JJ snuggled in his car seat. Taking her hand, he laced their fingers together as he led her toward the center of the clearing, their boots crunching over the newly fallen snow.

"This is ours. Yours."

She frowned, staring first at him, then around at the land. "What?"

"I bought it. For us."

Her heart was suddenly pounding so loud she could hear the roar of it in her ears. "What?" Surely she'd heard him wrong.

It was his turn to frown. "You said you wanted a bigger house up in the mountains. This is one of the properties you had flagged… That three-acre lot with 180-degree views of Burlington and the lake. Remember?" She did. "This is it," he said slowly, studying her face carefully for any reaction.

Fitz had printed out a stack of homes for sale, and another of available land they could buy to build their home. She'd casually looked over the list of properties one recent afternoon while feeding JJ and had flagged three different locations up on the mountain not far from their clearing. The spot had so much meaning for her because the first time Fitz had brought her there; his kiss had completely changed the trajectory of her life.

And now here he stood – her husband, the father of her son, the love of her life – with the view at his back rivaling that of their special place, telling her he had bought her dream property for her dream home.

She gaped at him as he reached for her, taking both of her hands in his. "You bought us this land?" She already knew the answer but was having trouble processing the significance of what this all meant. Was this man real? How had she possibly gotten so fucking lucky?

He smiled at her obvious shell-shocked expression. "Yes."

"Fitz-"

"I got some recommendations on a few great contractors through my pop and the firm, but of course you have final say on everything – size, style, décor, whatever. This is all for you, Livvie. Merry Christmas."

"Merry… what?" She needed a moment. He'd bought her three acres on a Vermont mountainside just because she'd said she wanted to one day raise their family in a bigger house with breathtaking views. She thought for sure they would take their time finding a place because really, there was no rush, but she should have known better.

Her husband never passed up an opportunity to do something so selflessly romantic for her.

"You saved my life the day you walked into it," he murmured, cupping her face, stroking her cheek, and she couldn't resist leaning into his touch. "I've never been happier than I have been these last two years. So whatever you want, however you want it – money's no object, the sky's the limit."

She laughed because otherwise she'd cry – no, weep – from loving him.

Dear God what did I ever do in this life or another to deserve to be loved so well by such an incredible man?

She reached for him and they kissed, soft and sweet and way too short. "Giving this to you can't even possibly begin to compare to all that you've given me by loving me, marrying me, being my best friend, the best wife and most incredible mother to our son. But I figured it was a start."

It was finally all sinking in and she didn't bother to stop the flood of tears cascading down her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck to nuzzle his nose with hers. "You really bought all of this -"

"So I can build you your dream house. Whatever you want, Livvie. It's got the view," he gestured to the endless sky and expansive, snow-kissed vista before them and her heart clenched. "All the land we could ever want for JJ and our future babies to run around. Do you want to get a swing set? Sandbox? Jungle gym? We'll have the space. We can even grow a fruit orchard over there if you'd like, so you can make as many bottles of your Nana's jam as you want. Mom knows a guy – someone called a landscape architect, whatever that means. Anyway, he could hook you up."

"You thought of everything," she laughed gruffly, staring off into space as she imagined just how that dream house would look – vaulted ceilings and tall windows with tons of natural light and-

"My own bathroom?" She suddenly thought as he pressed a kiss to her throat.

He chuckled, his voice thick with emotion. "If you want."

"With heated floors."

"We live in Vermont; of course we're getting heated floors!"

She threw her head back and laughed, so light and happy she almost felt sick with it. Her mind was blown.

"You are the best fucking husband in the history of the universe." She kissed him long and deep, until they were breathless and dizzy and only little JJ's gurgling from his car seat could break them apart.

She grinned over at her son, watching his legs kick in the air as she approached, pulling Fitz the few feet over to the vehicle to stare down at their masterpiece.

The magnitude of his beauty stole her breath and she leaned over to unsnap him from his carrier and pull him into her arms, nuzzling her nose to inhale his delicious baby smell. "We got lucky, JJ. Your Daddy is the best." She rose to the tips of her feet as Fitz's arms came around them both. She tilted her head up and pressed her lips to his, murmuring, "I really love you," against his mouth.

He leaned into the kiss, slurping her lower lip between his teeth as he said, "I love you too, Livvie. So much." He poked JJ in the nose and the baby rewarded him with a wide grin that had both of his parents swooning. "He looks just like you when he smiles," Fitz murmured after some time.

She grinned as she gazed down at her son staring up at her in fascination as drool slowly dribbled out of one corner of his mouth. "Nah, he looks like you."

He shook his head. "He clearly has his mother's face."

"And his Daddy's coloring."

"He didn't get my eyes like you wanted though."

Liv shrugged one shoulder as they continued to stare down at the life their love had created. "He did though. They're your eyes, just a different color." She tilted her head up to look into his deep-set, striking baby blue. "They're the same shape, with the same kindness in them and that same soft soul that made me fall in love the moment I saw them."

Fitz laughed out loud at that and JJ turned his head in Fitz's direction to follow the sound. "Don't rewrite history just cause you're hopelessly in love with me now, baby. You made me work my ass off for that first date."

She giggled so loudly JJ's big green eyes widened at the sound and he turned back to stare up at her. "I was worth the wait, though, wasn't I?"

Fitz's smile faded as he gazed at her with naked adoration. "You sure were."

Leaning up and over their son to press her lips to his, she smiled against his mouth and whispered, "You were too."