Season 1, Episode 21 "The Undertaking" After Ollie informs his family that Walter was dead.

Of course, Mom was already out the door and now Oliver was turning his back on me too.

"Ollie, where are you going?"

"Dig called and he needs me to go over some stuff. Will you be alright?"

Would it matter, you'd leave anyway, right?

Instead, I just said something along the lines of "yeah, sure" and he was off. I was alone again, and this time Walter wouldn't be coming back to keep me company. Sane, stern, steady. He was the river that kept flowing through my life, never once pulling back. The house was so quiet and empty and eerie. I turned and saw a picture of Walter, Mom, and me hanging on the wall. It was taken right after they got married.

"Thea, I truly am sorry about your father, and I'm not going to replace him, of course, but I do hope I can find my own place in your family." That was what Walter said to me the day he moved in. I had just entered high school. It was a new school with new people and I bought a new wardrobe in preparation. On top of that, there was a new member of the family. A fresh start. Life was going to be okay because Walter said it would—and Walter always kept his promises.

Now, the family was back to three. It wasn't right. That gap shouldn't be there. Who took him? Why? It wasn't—

BUZZ. BUZZ.

Pulling out my phone, I saw that the text came from Roy.

How are u? Do u want to come over?

With my eyes watery and my throat tight, I backed my car out of the driveway. I couldn't get out of that house fast enough.

I wasn't going to talk about it and I wasn't going to cry. It would just be me and Roy. Dead stepfathers, damaged brothers, and distant mothers were going to be far away from my mind. We'd lay on the couch, watch TV, maybe makeout…

I parked my car on the curb, made sure it was locked, walked up the rickety steps to Roy's house, and knocked on the door.

"Hey, do you want Chinese or should we just order pizza?" Roy asked as soon as he opened the door.

"Either one is fine with me."

"Chinese it is," he said stepping aside. Immediately, I grabbed the remote and plopped down on the couch and turned the TV on.

"You okay?" I didn't look at Roy when I answered.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I knew he didn't believe me, and it didn't really matter. I wasn't going to tell him about Walter or Ollie or my mom.

He didn't ask. He ordered the Chinese takeout and then sat on the couch next to me. House was trying to diagnose a patient who collapsed during a ballet recital or something. I don't know. It was kind of hard to focus on it, and the show just became background noise to my thoughts. Roy didn't move either and, since I wasn't looking at him, I didn't know where his attention was either.

After a few really heavy moments of silence, Roy turned to face me.

"Hey, I know I'm not exactly the best at talking about personal stuff but I am good at listening. If you want to talk, I'm here." Part of me really wanted to tell him because, obviously, my plan about ignoring the whole thing wasn't working. And I genuinely believed it. Maybe he was the one person in my life who was going to bother to listen for once. My eyes started to tear up again. Alright then, I guess I'd have to say it.

Then the phone rang.

God, I hate phones. Whoever invented them never anticipated how miserable it could make people. He was going to take the call, it would be important, and he'd have to go. Fine, I'd have the egg rolls and TV all to myself then. I watched as he took the phone out of his pocket, clicked a button, and then put it on the shelf between the door and the couch. "So—" I didn't let him finish. Throwing my arms around him, I pulled him into a deep kiss. His arms wrapped around me and held me close. I'd tell him, but later. For now, I had his full, undivided attention. Unlike some other guys, he wasn't in a rush and he wasn't trying to bite my face off. The kiss was slow, but hot. He wasn't as hesitant as he was when I first kissed him, but he also wasn't as relaxed as he was during some of our other makeout sessions. He knew something was wrong and, hell, I actually wanted to talk to him about it. I broke the kiss. But, instead of saying, "Walter is dead" I ended up saying, "I love you, please don't die."

"Uh, me too?" His arms loosely at my sides. "Thea, what's this about?"I looked him in the eye and swallowed the knot forming in my throat. I swore I wouldn't cry.

"Walter is dead. Ollie told me...right before he left. And after, my mom also left." He didn't say anything but I didn't want to sit through silence again so I just continued. "My family isn't even trying to stay together at this point so why should I even care? Nothing is the same since Dad died but because of Walter I was starting to be okay with the idea that it might not be, you know? Like maybe 'not the same' could also be 'not so bad'." Tears were streaming down my face. "Why would anyone even take him? Honestly, it feels like there is someone out to get me, to make my life miserable. And if there is they get second place because no one makes me feel more miserable than my family." I couldn't stop. "Sometimes I feel like I can't even call them that because whenever I need them they're never around and you know what no one is ever around when I need them even people that I thought were my friends couldn't care less about me if I'm not getting them into a club or going out shopping with them and—" Suddenly, he pulled he close. I held him tight, buried my face in his red hoodie, and cried. "Walter isn't coming back. Mom's going to have one pillow on her bed. No one will eat grape jelly in the morning anymore-he was he only one that liked it. He won't be there to insist that we eat together at the dinner table..." and I was off. I couldn't stop listing everything that I'd miss about Walter. I was crying so hard that my head started to hurt.

"Thea." He kissed my head. Then again and again. "I won't leave you alone, I promise." Though hearing him say that made my heartache, it someone managed to stop the tears for a bit. I believed him. Was that stupid? I pulled away enough to look at his face. No. I would believe him and it wasn't stupid. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I said falling back into his embrace. Walter may have been the river, but Roy was like the ocean. Sometimes he'd pull away without warning, but he always came back to shore.

So, yeah, this is the first time I've ever really written a kiss before (as in, beyond the words, "and we kissed"). I'm genuinely hoping it wasn't as awkward as I fear it is.