A/N: Hey guys! I am here, as always, after a long time. I have a busy life and writer's block, and those two things together make of writing a freaking complicated task. I really do try to write everyday, mostly because I love it, but it is very hard to do with work and family and tiredness and laziness sometimes. I just hope you appreciate the effort, even though it takes me a while to update.

I have played a bit with the time line of the show. The canon time line is that the Heat Wave book is released and then, six months later Castle goes to the Late Shaft night show, but to fit it into my story, I used the Late Shaft as a promortional interview to present Castle's book, so it takes place before Naked Heat is even released. I hope you guys don't mind ;)

Enjoy!

Chapter 6

Monday came way too soon, and Kate didn't know what she was least ready for: having to face the world again, or having to do it without Castle.

She was well aware that it had been her choice to push the writer away, but that didn't make it any less painful or difficult to bear.

On the contrary, knowing that it was all her doing made her feel incredibly guilty, because she knew that she was not only depriving herself of Castle's company, but the boys and everybody else at the precinct too.

She wondered what he was doing? How he was dealing with it? Had he moved on already? Did he leave her apartment and find somebody else to distract himself with that night? Maybe that would be for the best. She was toxic. He needed something better, less complicated. More fun. More like him.

Grabbing her bag from the coffee table, she straightened up and took a deep breath, letting the air out as slowly as she could. Then she smiled, putting on her 'I'm fine' mask, once again performing the same old ritual from her teenage years, so she could face one of the toughest days of her life.

It was Espo who, tired of watching her dig her own grave, called bullshit first.

xxx

He had been watching her for the length of two days, and by Wednesday afternoon, when he and Ryan brought her lunch and she pushed it away into a corner on her desk, he cleared his throat and called her name in a slightly brusque way.

"Beckett?"

The detective tried to ignore her colleague, but the man poked her shoulder, hard. "What is it, Espo? I am working here, if you even know what that is." She went for light hearted, even when she knew it was not going to work.

"Oh, excuse me for interrupting your thorough reading of that report for the millionth time today. You have been on the same page since before we left for Remy's, Beckett." He shot back, his left eyebrow mocking her. "Look, chica, I have no idea what's going on between you and writer boy," he stated matter-of-factly, "but you look like a raccoon… When was the last time you slept at all? And you haven't been putting any food inside that excuse of a body, Beckett! All I see you do is drink coffee, and the bad kind. That pimp took you down in like two seconds yesterday, and he almost shot Ryan."

Kate opened her mouth to argue but Esposito raised his hand to shut her up, pointing at his partner, who was watching them from his desk. "Kate, we're here for you, but we count on you too. You need to be at 100% out there, so you better eat that damn burger right now, or it'll be me pushing it down your throat. Got it?"

She blushed. Never, in her 9 years at the force had she been called out in such a way, but Javi was right. She was messing up. She wasn't eating. She wasn't sleeping, and that erratic behavior was putting everyone else around her at risk. She needed to make an effort, if not for herself, at least, for her boys.

Beckett reached for the Styrofoam box and opened it, inhaling deeply the rich aroma of her cheeseburger and feeling her stomach rumble at the smell. Maybe eating something was not such a bad idea after all. She smiled weakly and took a small bite. "Got it."

It was Lanie who, after weeks of watching her wallow around like a ghost, finally had the guts to tell her that she had made a huge mistake.

xxx

They had just closed a very complicated case and Kate had worked herself to the ground, so Montgomery had sent her home for a couple of days under the threat of suspension if she dared to show her face at the precinct before the forty eight hours were up.

It hadn't been pretty. She had begged. He had ignored her pleading and put her out of his office without the blink of an eye. Another battle lost for Detective Beckett.

The first night was relatively easy. Sleep didn't come, but that wasn't new to her, so she spent the time reading old paperbacks, watching a sci-fi show she used to love in college, but got cancelled way too soon, tossing and turning in bed and just… missing him, but pretending she didn't. That was the hardest part.

The next day was a nightmare.

Tuesday.

What's wrong with Tuesdays, right? That's what Kate thought when she got out of bed in the morning. She was ready for a boring, lazy day at home, going crazy between the four walls of her apartment, trying not to think about a certain writer. That was hard enough. Yes. That was freaking torture.

Well, Destiny had other plans in store for her that day.

She took a shower and started the coffee maker, trying to ignore the painful knot in her gut when the rich aroma filled the room, and then strolled to her front door to get the paper. Big mistake.

There he was, on Page Six, talking about Heat Wave, looking amazing and announcing his presence on "The Late Shaft" that same night to promote the book.

WHAT?!

She took out her phone and dialed Lanie's number, waiting for a few seconds until her friend picked up.

"This better be good, girl." The ME barked, letting out a stifled yawn at the end. "Why in the world are you up at 7 am on your day off?" She asked. "Which by the way is my day off too." She added sharply.

Kate frowned and sighed loudly. "I… I'm sorry, Lanie. I didn't mean to wake you up. I can wait. Sorry."

"Don't you dare hang up on me, Kate Beckett!" She yelled, catching the cop's attention and stopping her mid-action. "What's going on?"

"He's going to be on TV, Lanie." Kate whispered. "Tonight."

It took Lanie a few seconds to process the information, but then it all clicked. "Oh."

Lanie arrived with enough time for them to get ready before the show started, but not enough for them to talk about what had been going on during the last few weeks. Kate had made clear that she was not ready for that, at least not yet, and she knew better than pressing her friend before she was ready. She hadn't named her Kate "The Clam" Beckett for nothing.

"Six pints of ice cream? Do you want us to fall into a sugar coma or something?" Kate called over the paper bag she was emptying on her kitchen counter. "And Cookies. Lanie, this is insane!"

The ME laughed and walked into the kitchen opening the freezer and putting the ice cream in there so it didn't melt. "Hey, your man is gonna be on TV, you're gonna need all the carbs, believe me. The moment you see his face you'll want to stuff yours in one of those tubes."

Kate huffed loudly at that and rolled her eyes, but resumed her duty of emptying the bag. "He's not my ma- Oooh, whipped cream!" She squeaked happily, now pulling out three bottles of wine and smirking at her best friend. "And gummy bears! Lanie, I think I love you."

The other woman laughed loudly, joining her friend at the counter and nudging her shoulder playfully. "Yeah, sure." She joked. "Hand me a couple of bowls. I'm gonna serve these."

Lanie could tell that Kate was about to start climbing the walls when the show started, at around 10 pm. They had kept themselves busy getting everything ready for their girls-night-in, but now that the real reason of their meeting was getting closer, she could tell that her friend was getting more anxious.

"Kate, are you sure you want to watch this?" She asked, concern pouring out of her eyes. "Sweetie, you don't have to do it if you're not ready."

Beckett gave her a tight smile and nodded, tilting her head to the side. "I'm fine, Lanie. I can do this. It's been long enough. I'll be fine. I just needed some support here, that's all."

The ME stared at her intently, her brown eyes piercing the detective's hazel ones, trying to find some kind of hesitation, but she found none, so she just nodded and got up to fetch the ice cream from the freezer. They were going to need it soon.

As if on queue, the presenter rose from his chair and the camera caught him on a close up, his face invading the screen.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to our first guest tonight. He's well known to most us. We've read his work before. We've laughed and cried with his stories, and I am sure that more than one out there - and I am including myself here – was immensely surprised when he killed the main protagonist of his popular book series, Derrick Storm. Please, help me welcome the best seller mystery writer, Richard Castle."

As soon as Bobby Mann finished his speech, the camera turned to the left and Castle appeared from behind a curtain, wearing a light blue shirt and dark suit and looking absolutely delicious.

"Ugh." Kate chugged.

"What?" Lanie asked amused, her brow almost reaching the edge of her forehead. "You were expecting him to look like crap?"

Kate bit her lip guiltily and blushed, hugging a pillow against her body and hiding her face with her hair. "Um, maybe?"

The writer was on a roll; his witty replies and his charismatic persona dazzling the audience in his own magical way. He had them all in his pocket in the span of two seconds and he knew it.

There was something off, though. Beckett could tell. There was something missing. The spark wasn't there, or at least not as strong as ever, but still he was captivating to the main viewer. The mysterious mystery writer.

Mann asked him about his new book and this new heroine he was about to introduce to his devoted readers, and how she was based on a real cop and on his work with the NYPD. Castle's eyes went dark for a second, his expression somber and a little bit deflated, but he recovered in record time, putting his mega-watt smile back on and running a hand through his hair, telling the show-man about his latest adventures with New York's finest.

"I am sure they are all going to love Nikki Heat, Bobby. She's smart, she's badass, amazingly good at what she does because she loves her job, she's sexy too, incredibly beautiful and… kinda slutty." He finished the line with a cocked eyebrow, eliciting a laugh from the audience and a round of applause. The bastard.

Kate snorted and pointed her spoon at the screen, munching on her ice cream, trying not to get brain-freeze. "Why does he always have to do that?"

"Do what?" Lanie asked confused, staring between the screen and her friend trying to understand what she meant.

"THAT!" She yelled. "He's being all nice and suddenly he has to go and blow it all and be a jerk."

"Honey, I am not following you."

"Kinda slutty." Kate mimicked. "Why does he have to say that in front of everybody? I am not slutty."

Lanie pursed her lips, trying to hold down her laughter. Her friend had had a couple of glasses of wine too many. "He's talking about Nikki, Kate."

"Who is based on me!" She whined. "Hence people are gonna think I am the slut."

"Yeah, and all the wonderful things he said before that." The ME reassured her. "Come on, that's not Writer-boy's style and you know it. And now shut up and finish your ice cream, it's melting."

Everything kept going relatively well until a third string actress named Ellie Monroe came on scene and took a seat right next to Castle, much to Kate's chagrin. But the sitting arrangements were not exactly the problem.

"Oh, come on! Could she be any more obvious?" Kate shrieked, throwing a bunch of gummy bears at the TV. "'Richard Freaking Castle, I can't believe I'm finally meeting you.'"

The high pitch tone of Monroe's faked voice filled the room and Lanie laughed hard. She had never seen Kate so jealous in her entire life. Her girl had it bad for the writer and she needed to make her realize it before it was too late.

"This is not funny, Lanie. God, she's so pathetic!"

"Hey! You can't blame a girl for trying. Your writer there is worth some working." The ME shot back, knowing that would cause a response from Beckett.

"Yeah, well… Dropping to her knees and blowing him on air would be a little bit more subtle than what she's doing right now."

With that, Kate got up from the couch, her glass in hand, and walked to the kitchen to open the third bottle of wine of the night.

Lanie watched her while she took out the cork and poured the crimson liquid in the glass, and then she approached her and sat beside her at the kitchen island while she drank in silence.

"Seems to me Kate, that you don't like very much sharing your toys. But, you know, if you leave them scattered around, it is bound to happen that other girls are going to want to play with them. So, don't you think maybe you should pick them up and keep them where they belong?"

Kate lifted her eyes from the floor, her gaze blurry but amused. "You do realize that I'm drunk right?" She asked, a smirk on her face. "Can we please skip the metaphors?"

Lanie snorted and nodded, squeezing her friend's arm. "Sure. No metaphors." She assured. "What I wanted to say is: if you want to be with Castle, be with Castle. Stop fooling around, making excuses. You like the guy, you're suffering without him; go get him back."

TBC

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :) Feel free to comment and review. I would love to know what you think!

Thanks so much for reading and for all the lovely reviews that you, amazing people, have left on the previous chapters. I haven't been able to reply to all of you lately, but I do appreciate them all and I love you!

Thank you Tshlw for editing this for me and for being the best cheerleader ever. You is the best forever! :P