(SB/RL) (slash) (Songfic: Kelly Clarkson - Addicted)
The Idea belongs to me, everything else is from the books of J. K. Rowling.
- Nuya

This is a translation of my very own story "Berechnend", published here some time ago. I hope it's okay to read!

Calculated

I'm running as fast as I can.
You've send me a message.

"I need you, help me … hurry … you'll find me …"

I'd never run like this before.

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down

Strangers on the streets look at me when I pass them; my torn coat hides not much from my also torn pyjama. My scared skin, my hectic looks scare them. I havn't changed clothe before going and searching for you, your words they were … I don't know, what happened?

It's like I can't think

I care for you. Every night you're not with me I worry about you. You're going out, you're drinking and never know when and how you did got home the next morning. What if ... they could recognize you. They could take you away from me again. Just a couple more steps. I push the grouse pub-door and stumble after my first step in.
There you are. You drink, laugh and joke with the friends of yours.
My panic drops and leaves place for new feelings. Anger, desperation, irritation …

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone

Some guys in here recognize me. I extend their marking, couldn't take my eyes off of you. I know you are in danger.

And I know I let you have all the power

On my left and my right I can hear them snicker. I'm probably looking weird or funny. I'm sweaty, half naked, exhausted and close to tears. Why am I here? Now your friends start to point at me, laugh at me and you turn around. And then you say something I'll never forget in my life.
„I said he'd come, if I'm calling for him."
You turn back around and drink your beer like nothing happend.

It's like I'm not here

The tears in my eyes are growing, I can't breathe anymore. Out - I have to go, to leave this place, to get as far away from you as I can.

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you

The wolf inside me reacts instinctively. Escape.

And I know these voices in my head are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now