Ama Fratrem Tuum Semper

Free

Dead.

Lillith was dead.

The room seemed to spin around Sam, time had not yet returned to its normal speed. His labored breaths seemed to fill his ears, though a faint pounding could be heard. 'Dean…' a small part of him seemed to cry out.

Lilith was dead.

Dead!

But something wasn't right.

Blood was seeping from the fallen body…leaking heavily, leaving a path as it moved, yes the blood was undoubtedly moving.

"What the hell…" Sam whispered. This was…this wasn't what he'd expected. Nothing was supposed to happen when Lilith fell…it was supposed to just end!

"I can't believe it…" Ruby's voice brought Sam back up to speed.

"Ruby…" Sam turned to look at her, something twisting uncomfortably in his gut. "What's going on?"

But Ruby didn't seem to hear him. Her gaze was focused on the blood, following its curving path on the floor with an almost…rapture. "You did it…I mean, it was a little touch and go there for awhile there but…" Finally Ruby looked up and her eyes stared into Sam's with worship. "You did it."

The twisting in his gut only intensified at the look on Ruby's face. "What? What did I do?"

"You opened the door," Ruby breathed, her face moving closer to Sam's, "and now my master is free, you're free at last!"

The truth his Sam like an iron weight. "No, no, no, He-Lilith! I stopped her! I killed her!"

"And it is written, that the first demon shall be the last seal…and you busted her open! I can't believe it! It finally happened!"

His head was pounding, insides crumbling. Sam was being torn down from the inside out, a constant mantra playing in his head, 'No no no no...'

"Oh my god…"

"Guess again!" Ruby said, her voice positively gleeful. The smile on her face was so wide, so genuine, and Sam could only stare at her, a thrill of….something…racing through him.

Ruby's smile seemed to fall. "You don't even realize it yet," she said, and Sam couldn't help but feel like she wasn't talking to him. "Do you know how hard this was! All the demons out for my head, no one knew! I was the BEST of those sons of bitches, the most loyal! Not even Alistair knew! Only Lilith!" Her voice was rising, and part of Sam…part of Sam did know. Somehow…everything made sense, and yet it didn't. If only his head would stop pounding! "Yeah, I'm sure you're a little angry right now but I mean, come on Sam! You have to admit, I'm…I'm awesome!"

"You bitch…" Sam forced, out, clinging to the anger coursing through him, familiar, the only thing he was absolutely sure of. "You lying bitch!"

Sam raised his hand, wanting nothing more that to kill the demon standing in front of him, but pain ripped through his body, the effort from killing Lilith making him too weak to even stand. With a strangled cry, he fell back clutching his head, wanting the pain to stop…to end.

"Don't hurt yourself Sammy, its useless," Ruby said, her voice now soft and gentle. "You shot your payload on the boss."

"The blood….you poisoned me," Sam shot at her through the haze of his mind. He didn't want Ruby to be gentle with him. He wanted to rage at her, have revenge on her, cause her to bleed and scream in pain!

"No…it wasn't the blood," she said in that same tone, her voice drawing closer as she bent down to Sam's level. "It was you, and your choices. I just gave you the options and you chose the right path, every time! You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo!"

Sam turned his face from her too angry, too sick to look her in the face. Because he knew she was right.

Then Ruby was moving again, kneeling down between his legs, a sort of reverence lighting up her eyes as she spoke to him softly…lovingly. "I know it's hard to see it now, but this is a miracle. Everything Azazel did and Lilith did, just to get you here, and you were the only one who could do it."

"Why?" he demanded, his voice breaking pathetically. "Why me?"

"Because, because it had to be you, Sammy. It always had to be you," her hands came up to stroke at his face, clinging to him, praising him with light touches. "You saved us…" she whispered, gazing with adoration into his eyes. "You've finally been set free. Everything…this whole plan, everything you constructed happened just the way you wanted it too. And once the door opens, once you realize everything I've done because of you, for you, you're going to be so grateful! You'll be so pleased with me! Everything I did was for you, and you'll reward me for my loyalty to you!"

Sam's entire body was shaking now, Ruby's words swirling around him. Nothing she said was saying made sense! And yet…a part of him…deep within himself, knew exactly what she was saying. Part of him…was excited, thrilled, but he was so confused, he didn't want to be thrilled, he wanted to be horrified, disgusted! He wanted –

A loud bang interrupted them as the door was suddenly bust open.

'Dean!' his mind seemed to sob, and for a moment, Sam was able to push away the confusion, focus only on his brother.

Ruby was off of Sam in a flash. She stood before Dean, brimming with confidence and pride. "You're too late!"

"I don't care!" Dean snarled at her, and without pause, Sam knew how to work alongside his brother.

He came up behind Ruby, grabbing her by the arms, and in her brief moment of panic and confusion, Dean stabbed her own knife through her stomach, killing Ruby once and for all.

Ruby's body fell to the ground, and suddenly there was nothing but Sam and Dean. Their eyes locked, and Sam was hit with a wave of guilt, regret, sorrow…

It was too familiar.

"…I'm sorry," the words slipped from his mouth without his knowledge or consent. And in that moment, the moment before the spiraling blood on the floor opened to release the devil from his cage, Sam knew the whole truth.

The light was blinding, the power and rage of an archangel scorned was lighting up the room. Lucifer's grace was escaping from Hell. Sam watched, transfixed. It was beautiful, and terrible, the very essence of grace in its rawest form. He saw it and he longed for it.

Dean's hand grasped onto the front of Sam's shirt, bring Sam back to the present, to humanity. "Sammy, lets go!"

But Sam stood still, two parts of himself fighting each other. His humanity, his grace. An absent hand came up to cling to the material of his big brother's jacket, a gesture so natural.

"Dean…" he whispered. And then came the realization of what was about to happen. What would happen to Dean if he was exposed to an archangel's appearance? The part of him that was wholly Sam took over, the fear of losing Dean choking out everything else.

"Come on!" Dean yelled, and Sam didn't wait. He was half being dragged, half pushing them both out of the room, but Sam felt his grace flare up. The doors snapped shut, locked and unmovable, unwilling to let his body go.

The noise was incredible. Sam looked to Dean, a well of human emotions surging through him.

'No, no, Dean, no'

The pain was unbearable. He could feel it, all around him. His grace joining with his body. Becoming part of him once again, becoming whole.

And then the church was gone. No noise, no light. The Winchester brothers found themselves on a plane, flying over Ilchester and descending towards Baltimore.

"Wh…what the hell?" Dean asked aloud. But his younger brother didn't answer.

Sam (was he still Sam?) was silent, two different lives and thoughts warring inside him. Everything was confusion, nothing seemed certain. But one thing was true, whether Sam wanted it to be or not.

The Devil was free.

Lucifer was reborn.

Lord have mercy...I'm a Supernatural addict. I'm still writing my other stories, but I had to write this, and since I did I figured I'd post it. Its also on ao3 under the same name. I just love the idea that Sam is Lucifer...anywho. Thanks for reading! Sorry to any of my followers that this isn't the usual fandom I write for

~Ducky